Disclaimer: Sadly, I do NOT own the show "Lost". However, I do own my Original Character ( Kennedy White ), as well as her background, and her plot on the island.

Author's note: YES, I'M BACK AND IT'S FINALLY HERE! I kinda got burned out on LOST for a few months, but I knew everyone was dying for chapter 12 and for Kennedy's story to continue. So, here I am with the long awaited chapter 12 of A Beautiful Disaster. Yes, I am going to continue with updates although they might not be posted as quickly as before, with school starting back and all that. But I will keep writing as long as my fans keep reading. I will do all that I can to make sure this story is still going. I'm actually up at 4:00 in the morning writing this. So, read it. Leave a review if you liked it or just to let me know if there is anything I can do to make it better. Thank you all so much for your support and I really hope you enjoy this. :)

{Kennedy's POV}

Bottom line: I was useless here. No one needed my help, and even if they did I was probably unable to do anything. I wasn't strong enough to help move anything or bring water to the beach from the cave, I wasn't brave enough to go into the jungle with Kate and Sayid, not like they wanted me with them anyway. I was just taking up space. I was use to this feeling though and really wasn't surprised that it seemed to follow me to this damn island.

Somehow this led me to think of Sawyer. God, I was stupid. Running away from him when he was only trying to figure out what had upset me. I couldn't believe it'd taken me until now to realize now how mean I'd been to him. Sure, he had his faults. One minute, he was a stubborn asshole who didn't have a care in the world. He was mean with that hateful look in his eye. Then, sometimes he was different, gentle even. And all the times that he tried to show me any of that I just went crazy on him. I couldn't understand why, I never use to be like that.

There were a few times that it seemed like he enjoyed to see me mad at him, as if he got some kind of high from it. Then, there were times that I knew I'd hurt him. Thinking back on that night he'd shot that man, it still made me cringe. He was only trying to help someone. Hell, everyone was giving him the third degree, he didn't need it from me. This whole cat and mouse game between us had to stop, because whether I liked it or not, I felt something for Sawyer.

I crawled out of my lean-to where I'd been hiding out and walked across the beach toward Jack's old place. He had to be there, where else was he going to go?

Just as expected, I found Sawyer standing just outside of the makeshift hut, wringing out a shirt I think. His bare back was turned to me as I walked closer to him. I took a few nervous breaths before attempting to speak.

"Sawyer." His name came out clear enough, but my insides were jerking as he started to turn around. I was about to say something else when I group of guys walked by, Charlie was with them.

"Hey, we have to tell Kate about Jack!" The short, blonde man said to them. Jack? What was wrong with Jack?

"Sorry, sport. Just missed her." Sawyer turned toward Charlie while he finished draining the water out of his soaked, twisted shirt. "Her and Mohammed headed into the woods about ten minutes ago." I guess he thought it would be funny to pronounce it as MoHAMed.

"Which way?" Charlie asked him.

"Don't sweat it, amigo. I know which way they went."

"Yeah, but-" The shorter blonde started. Sawyer held up his hand and cut him off.

"I'll tell her. You just keep doin', whatever it is you do around here." With that, he began to walk towards the jungle. Suddenly, he stopped and turned back to look at me. Again, I saw that smirk.

"You comin', Red?" His question shocked me. Sawyer knew how clumsy and impossible I was in the jungle, I didn't think he'd want to go through that again. And what if that 'thing' came after us? Then, I realized that this would give me time to talk to him. And he'd saved my life before, more than once.

"Okay." I answered nervously and followed Sawyer as he went to tell Kate about Jack and whatever had happened to him.

xXx

Once we were far enough into the dense forest, that jittery feeling came over me again. Sawyer was still carrying his damp shirt in his hand and I was finding it hard not to stare at his naked torso. His toned chest and stomach made my cheeks feel really warm. I think he noticed my glancing eyes every few minutes because he just kept smiling.

"Wanna stop?" He asked, looking over at me. We've only been walking for five minutes, if that. Why would I need a break? It wasn't like I was Hurley. I mentally scowled myself for thinking that. Hurley had been way too nice for me to even make that kind of judgement towards him. Still, I wasn't a baby and I didn't want to be treated like one. I shook my head no.

Sawyer shrugged at my response and he quickened his pace. I figured that he only did it to annoy me, but I wasn't going to let him win. I sped up my stride until I was practically power walking. When the blonde decided to start jogging is when I broke out into a run. My older sister, Megan, was in track throughout junior high and high school. She was one of the best girls on her team and I'd practiced with her quite often, so running was one of those few things I was good at. Of course, the high grasses and tangling ferns here were very different from an asphalt track. However, that wasn't enough to let Sawyer get ahead of me even though he was in a full sprint.

It felt -great, actually- to be better than another person at something.

After about a hundred yards further into the jungle, Sawyer must have been tired of losing because he'd caught up close enough to touch me. That's when I felt one hand grab the back of my tank top and his other arm wrapped around my waist and he dragged me down onto the forest floor. I didn't hurt, and even if I did have any scraps on me, I was too busy laughing as was the blonde man who was now laying beside me. I'd never heard him really laugh before and I'll admit that it was a surprise.

Our laughter died down as Sawyer rolled over on his side, almost on top of me. His gorgeous eyes were gazing into mine, his smile fading into something more serious. I did the same. Aside from the sounds of little critters around us, the only thing I heard was our breathing and how mine and his strangely felt like one. I could honestly say that I felt a little afraid of what might possibly happen next, but I didn't feel the need to look away from this man's eyes. I couldn't even if I tried. Oh God. I want to kiss him. That realization hit me so hard that it brought my stomach up into my throat.

{Sawyer's POV}

Damn her! She is absolutely irresistible. God knows I wanted to kiss her so bad that I couldn't stand it. But it was wrong on so many levels. Hell, I was thirty five and she was only nineteen. Just a fucking kid! Knowing that didn't make me want it any less, but I just couldn't do it. I wasn't going to do that to her.

"Sawyer." She finally spoke up, but it wasn't even above a whisper.

"Hm?" I smiled at her. In the back of my mind I was hoping that she'd kiss me instead. At least then she couldn't get pissed off at me for it. I waited impatiently for a moment, only to be disappointed.

"I'm sorry. About this morning, and every time I've been mad at you." She said softly. It amazed me how innocent she was, that just made my temptation stronger. But unless she was going to kiss me, I'd just have to learn to control myself I guess.

"Forget it." I answered simply, my smile went away as I got up from the ground and dusted myself off. I wasn't sure if Red was confused or saddened by me moving, but I needed to get back to looking for Freckles before I completely lost it. Hell, I knew I wasn't the only one that felt that connection. But I reminded myself that Kennedy was a frail, shy girl. She wasn't going to leave anything to chance. She was afraid of me and this weird thing that we had going on, if it was anything at all.

I held out my hand to help her to her feet, surprisingly she took it. Now standing, she brushed the dirt and dead grass from her arms and legs. Her red hair had several twigs that I thought I'd be kind enough to remove for her. Then, there she went. Her eyes dropped down to her little dirt-covered feet. She needs shoes and new clothes. I hated the fact that she was so bashful, but at the same time I think that's one of the things that drew me to her. After a few seconds, she lifted her head, she was chewing on her bottom lip.

"Um, Kate." She muttered quietly. I suddenly remembered what we were out here for in the first place.

{Kennedy's POV}

After reminding Sawyer that we needed to go look for Kate, he just nodded and started walking again. As I followed him, we were still catching our breath and a thin layer of sweat still covered our bodies. I stayed a few feet behind him this time.

I was a little upset when he'd moved from where we were laying, but I also couldn't have been more grateful that he , I wanted to kiss him, but there was no way I could have brought myself to do it. I think he might have wanted to kiss me too, I wasn't sure though. If he wanted to kiss me, why didn't he? I wasn't going to stop him. I just needed to stop thinking about it.

Not even a minute later, Sawyer and I saw Kate and Sayid walking and we went to them. I still didn't know what was going on with Jack, I'd forgotten to ask, but at least I would find out now. Oh God, what is Kate going to say when she finds out that I came out here with Sawyer? She's going to kill me, or at least one of us. It was too late to run and hide now. We stopped in front of them.

"Hey." Sawyer said as he still seemed to be out of breath. Kate glanced at me, crossing her arms.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She looked to the blonde man that I'd came with, but it seemed as if that question was directed to the both of us.

"Easy." Was his first response to Kate's acidic words. He took a few breathes before speaking again. "I came to tell you somethin'."

"What makes you think I'm interested in anything you have to say?" She spat back, her eyes narrowing on him. Whatever she was pissed at Sawyer for, I knew that me being here with him had just been piled on to that. The blonde hesitated as they stared each other down. I wouldn't have been surprised if a fight broke out right now.

Sawyer sighed. I felt like I was having an out-of-body flashback of how I'd treated him before. He was only coming to tell Kate something about Jack and she was just being a complete ass about it.

"Just came to tell you that you were right 'bout me. That I don't help anyone but myself. Well, here I am, ready to pitch in." After what Sawyer said, I wanted to just blurt out the truth. That something was wrong with Jack and she needed to see what it was.

"You're here to help." I wasn't sure if Kate was asking a question or just repeating those words, but she started to walk off with Sayid.

"Hey, if you don't act more surprised, I'm gonna get offended." Sawyer added as he started walking. I hurried to catch up with Kate. She didn't say anything to me.

"Kate?" I said, hoping that she'd at least acknowledge me. Instead, she completely ignored me and kept walking. I knew she was too upset to talk with me, but I hated it when people made me invisible. Still, I thought it best if she just walk off her anger and I'd try again whenever we got to where we were going. She might listen to me then. Maybe not.