"Shit guys, he's really gone." Max took a huge swig of his coke, downing half of it in one go. When he was done, he wiped his mouth with his sleeve and stared down at the floor with a blackness veiled behind his coffee eyes.

Ed could relate to the sentiment. It still didn't feel real to him, like it was only temporary and they'd all eventually wake up to walk into class and find Spender sitting at his desk with the lights off, some night lamps scattered around the ceiling of the room. He still half-expected to see Spender walk through the front door of the dojo like he owned the place, same as he'd done since he and Isabel were in toddler shoes. Every part of him just felt so numb to it, like he should have been sad but he just wasn't and it bugged him. On one hand, that was awesome because he did not handle loss well. On the other, that meant he was going to get hit by all of his repressed emotions at some point and, when he did, he would get hit hard. "Yeah, it's kind of weird, isn't it?"

"Try scary and unusual." Isaac had poured his soda into a glass and was messing with the ice he'd filled it with. The ratio was a little off, more frozen water than carbonated beverage. He moved his finger in circles around and around in the bubbles like a child with nothing else better to do. It was his way of keeping his mind off of things, and Ed got that.

Isabel glanced up from her lap, leaning back against the kitchen table where she'd chosen to sit. Master Guerra never really liked her doing that, but he wasn't around to care. Hell, they hadn't seen the man since late into the night when they'd returned home from their search. Upon hearing of Mister Spender's untimely fate, the elder had locked himself in his room with the excuse of 'extended meditation'. He hadn't been out since. Ed remembered the look in his eyes, the furrow of his brow and the clench of his jaw. He remembered seeing Master Guerra wince for the first time, as though it was the first attack to land a hit on him in decades. It might have been. Watching the old man walk away with such a weight over him, looking five feet smaller because he was slouching under his heavy shoulders, it left a sour taste in Ed's mouth. Isabel sighed. "Do you guys remember that one time-?"

"Spender got himself arrested because he started arguing with a spirit in the middle of that old burger joint that closed down a year ago?" Max snorted. "Yeah."

"But, but officer- I wasn't telling the children to go back to where they came from!" Isaac did an impression of the incident, waving his arms around wildly in a way that was too incredibly similar to Spender's own fretful motions. Max coughed up some of his drink.

"Oh my god, that's right! The kids were visiting from Japan, weren't they? Oh my god!" Isabel broke out into a full-bellied laughter, inadvertently causing Ed to break into laughter too. He supposed it was just contagious, laughter among the four of them. He'd figured it was going to be one of their few solaces, and sure enough he felt his heart lifting itself out of the muck that was impending depression. "P-Poor Mister Spender!"

"Oh, how about the time he and Isaac switched bodies?" Max finished off the last of his coke, eyes wide and bright as he recalled his fond, ten-year-old memory.

"Oh no," Isaac bent over and put his head in his hands, but he smiled all the same "please don't. That's one of the worst things that's ever happened to me. You guys switched bodies, too!"

"Oh my god, and Mister Spender thought the only way to switch back was to hit our heads together!" Ed remembered that very well. More than anything, he recalled Spender and Isaac being the only ones to go ramming their heads into each-other. The rest of them had faked it, both because it was a horrible idea and for the comedic value.

"What did I just say?" Isaac was laughing just as hard as everyone else was, but he pretended to be infuriated anyway.

The laughter died out and there was silence again. They all looked at their laps, drinks, hands- whatever kept their minds busy. Ed didn't think any of them really knew how important Spender had been. It was sad, and cliché, but it was the truth. He hadn't ever really thought about it. Spender had just sort of always been there. He was the first spectral Ed had met his first night at the dojo, before Isabel was even a thought in his life. He remembered feeling terrified of the large bulky man that roamed the dojo in what looked like a bathrobe at the time, and remembered even more vividly actually trembling the longer he stood at the front door. He still remembered squealing when an older child (a young man, actually) appeared seemingly out of nowhere beside him. Eighteen-year-old Spender had glanced down at him, and his smile was one of the warmest Ed had ever seen. He asked if Ed was the new recruit, then asked what his name was- the usual, but it helped Ed's nerves settle. Once Spender had introduced himself as, well, Spender, he'd bent down, taken Ed's small hand in his own, and said: "You're going to really like it here".

That'd been the end of it. From then on, Spender made a constant effort to be involved. He'd become somewhat a father to Ed in his time away from home, what with keeping him out of trouble, guiding him with borderline fatherly advice, and the occasional warm familial embrace. Spender taught him everything Guerra couldn't. When threats and insults and chores didn't work, Spender eased the pressure with a kind word or two. That was actually how Ed learned to bond with Muse. Ironically, the 'manly man' who ruled his dojo with an iron fist wasn't able to tell Ed how to make friends with another manly man, but Spender could. He always called Ed the low maintenance member, but he'd done more than enough to earn Ed's respect and admiration and adulation. If Ed had been low-maintenance in Spender's book, he couldn't imagine what he'd done for Isabel or Isaac or even Max.

"So what's gonna happen now?"

Isabel shrugged in response to Isaac's question, lips thinning. "Well, Grandpa's already called the middle school and told them, so they'll be looking for a replacement. Knowing our parent organization, they're gonna send another spectral to take over the club."

"So they're gonna replace Spender? Just like that?" Max raised an eyebrow, tone raising like his voice was. He was offended. That made sense. Ed didn't like it, either.

"I know." Isabel held out her hand, gesturing for Max to hand her a coke. He reached out to the eight-pack he and Isaac bought on the way over, ripping one away from its plastic with probably unintentional malice and handed it over. "But what else are they supposed to do? He's got seven classes full of kids, you know? What if another kid's a spectral and a non-spectral gets the job?"

"Yeah, I get that, but-!"

"Eddy!"

There was a flash of blonde coming around the corner, faster than most of the club would have anticipated. Ed stood up from the dining chair he'd leaned against one of the walls, opening his arms. Cindy leaped from feet away, right into his clasp. She squeezed him around the neck, digging her head into his shoulder as she took long, shuddering gulps of air. Ed breathed in the smell of flour and sugar as he twirled her around, squeezing her as tightly as he could before letting the tips of her toes brush against the wood of the dojo floor. When they pulled away, he noticed just how bad she really looked. Her usually neatly-curled blonde hair was in a messy bun that was definitely falling out and hastily tied up. Her favorite pink and white flower dress was replaced by a pair of sweat-pants and a baggy off-the-shoulder t-shirt that said "Live Your Life", orange spaghetti stains all over the words. She turned away from him without another word, hurtling into Isaac and crushing him in a hug, too. "I'm so sorry! Oh my god, I just heard from my parents this morning!" The cycle continued until she'd hugged Max and Isabel, too. She stayed in Isabel's arms the longest, squeezed the tightest, clutching and digging her head into her shoulder. If Isabel was put off by the interaction, she didn't show it. She nodded and closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around Cindy's waist without complaint.

Cindy pulled away first, leaving her arms around Isabel's neck. Ed could see her skin was covered in smeared eyeliner and mascara, eyes bloodshot and wide. She didn't look quite as bad as Isabel had the night before, but she wasn't far off. "How are you holding up?" It was a whisper, but Ed still knew what Cindy had asked. Isabel gave her a weak smile and shrugged. Cindy took it as a sign that Isabel needed another hug, so she pulled her close again.

There was a cough on the other side of the room, prompting the three that weren't locked in a tearful embrace to look. A tall woman stood there, hands clasping a small dark orange clutch bag. Her long dirty blonde hair fell in a braid over her shoulder, a dull yellow hair tie keeping it in place. Her posture was unusually straight, like she'd been standing there listening to Master Guerra berating her for hours on end or had an unusually long rod up her nether region. She blinked her oddly dark purple eyes at everyone in the room, like she was surprised there were so many of them. "Hello. My name is Berenice Guillory." She readjusted the glasses at the edge of her nose, swallowing nervously. Her lips twitched. "First I want to say that I am sorry for your loss. Richard Spender was a good man and a good spectral. Our world has become a darker place in his death." Isabel and Cindy pulled away from each-other, Cindy rubbing at one eye viciously while Isabel pressed whatever she was feeling down past her stomach and into her feet. Ed watched her do it, blink and collect herself at a moment's notice as though all she had to do was drink it down like scotch. It unnerved him, sometimes. He wished that she'd feel loss more often- rather, let herself feel loss more often. "I am also sorry to say, especially to his loved ones, that I am his mandatory replacement. The consortium sent me-"

Everyone sharply inhaled and glanced at Isaac, who blinked and rubbed the back of his neck. "What?"

Berenice readjusted her glasses again, waiting for a response with trembling legs.

Isabel took the step forward first, offering her hand with a maturity Ed rarely saw in her. He would have been expecting her to get mad, throw a fit that Spender hadn't even had a funeral before his replacement was standing in front of them, but he knew her better. She respected Spender too much to bring her wrath upon the agency he'd served so loyally in life. Berenice gave her a wide smile, one that unsettled Ed in its honesty, and shook it. "Nice to meet you, Miss Guillory. My name is Isabel. We're-"

"Richard's former students, yes I know who you are but I" Her eyes traveled the room slowly, the ends of her words drawn out to a slur "don't know your names?"

Ed figured that if Isabel was ready to take the first step, then he was too. "I'm Ed." Berenice nodded and shook his hand before turning her attention to Max and Isaac. The two seemed less than interested in interaction. They glanced at each-other with agreed malice in their eyes, but Max came forward anyway.

"My name is Max and that's my friend Isaac." Ed watched as Isaac's narrowed eyes became wide, his mouth opening and closing. It had been a very long time since he'd seen Isaac pout, but it was definitely a childish grimace on his face. He crossed his arms and glanced away, rolling around the ice in his cup.

Berenice laughed and nodded. "Nice to meet you, Max" she glanced at Isaac "Isaac."

They both nodded, and Berenice turned her attention to Cindy. "You are…?"

She was meant with more resistance than Ed would have expected out of a girl like Cindy. She stood as tall and tense as everyone else in the room felt, her green eyes baring into Berenice's soul.

"Cindy. I'm not a former student of Mister Spender's, but I like to think I was a friend." Cindy didn't offer her hand, but Berenice reached out and shook it anyway. The touch was limp and unrequited, evidently troubling Miss Guillory, who laughed under her breath and dropped the shake moments in.

"Nice to meet you as well, Cindy."

"Hm…"

"The consortium" Isabel coughed and glanced at Isaac "they sent a replacement awfully fast. Usually they don't operate so efficiently." That much was true. It never took a long time for word to travel, but action in the consortium was different. There were so many spectrals with so many differing opinions, choosing to take action so soon was usually impossible. The choice to replace Spender must have been unanimous.

"Richard was a man of prominence among us. Leaving his place open for too long would've been" Berenice gave another awkward smile "a considerably precarious failure on our part. Mayview is enough of a hot-spot with activity as it is."

Ed snorted. "I wouldn't go that far."

"Oh, but we would." She opened her clutch and took out her phone, presumably checking for messages before putting it away. "Richard had a lot of duties that were going to be left unattended to. Suffice to say they were imperative enough the consortium" the club collectively hissed under their breathes again, leaving Berenice and Isaac to glance around in silent confusion "thought it best he be immediately replaced."

"They couldn't wait until he was cold in the ground first?" Berenice seemed unfazed at Max's indignant tone, almost as if she'd ignored what he'd said completely. She turned to him with yet another awkward smile, eyes squinted enough that it looked fake.

"As I said, his work was important enough that we couldn't wait."

Spender being replaced was, as much as Isaac grudged him, wrong. It was wrong on so many levels he couldn't even begin to rant about the injustice of it all. He'd served the paranatural world his entire life, never asking for anything in return. Then, in his death, on duty nevertheless, his reward was to lay in a ditch somewhere while Lady Guillory, with her fake awkwardness and her exaggerated professionalism, took over his life. Isaac almost felt glad he wasn't really considered a member of whatever parent group ran the club. He would never pledge his allegiance to such a shallow, heartless group of people, no matter what 'good' they thought they were doing. It was cruel and unusual to treat a human being's death with such a dismissive attitude. The clock hadn't even struck twenty-four hours before some evil broad was there trying to get buddy-buddy with the people who had loved and cared for Spender in life and mourned him in death. He'd been shocked that Isabel and Ed even spoke to her, let alone shook her hand. He'd been more than happy to let Max introduce both of them.

Even if he hadn't necessarily liked the way he'd done it…

He felt whatever anger he'd been feeling before dissipate into uncertain coyness. Isaac wasn't sure what he'd expected. It wasn't like they'd really talked about it. They'd kind of just gotten out of bed the next morning and acted like it never happened. That sucked, because Isaac couldn't really do that. He thought about it constantly, what it'd been like to hold Max in a way nobody else had- to know him in a way nobody else did. It was something he'd thought about lots of times over the years, but those were just fantasies he'd been in denial about anyway. The real thing- that was hard to forget, for him anyway. He was starting to think it was pretty easy for Max.

Isaac glanced up from his sandwich, watching Max take a bite of a probably cold pizza. They usually ate lunch together, when Isaac didn't have college classes and Max could get away with leaving school for lunch. Isaac was almost surprised he'd still agreed to lunch. Max treated him just the same, but was that a good thing? Was Max supposed to treat him the same way? He couldn't help but feel like there should have been some difference to their relationship. He should have been catching Max eyeing him up and down, or playing footsies with him under the table, or just holding hands and shooting each-other heated gazes. Instead Max still made witty, mildly insulting, comments and teased him. Isaac hadn't heard a flattering word out of Max's mouth since. He hadn't squeezed Isaac's leg or held him- or kissed him. God, they weren't even flirting!

Maybe he wouldn't have been so worried if he'd known what he meant to Max. 'This is my friend', he says. 'If you're getting a vibe that says we slept together, it doesn't mean anything! Hoo hoo!' Isaac rolled his eyes and took a very long sip of his soda. Why didn't he introduce Isaac as his boyfriend- lover, even, if he wasn't ready for that kind of commitment? Was he trying to hide their budding romance? Max certainly was the type to cover something up if it didn't quite fit the image he frantically tried to convince everyone of. But then he could have just told Isaac that! He might've understood…

What if Max regretted it? Isaac choked on his drink, shooting soda out of his nose so far it hit Max's arm. Max startled and looked up. "Dude! What the hell?"

"Sorry, sorry!" Isaac coughed and wiped at his nose and mouth with one of the napkins he'd, on an off-chance, picked up on the way to the table. It wasn't something he usually did, so excited to get back to Max to spend optimum time together, but he had a lot on his mind today.

Max regretted it. That had to be it! But why? Did he just not wanna risk their friendship? Isaac could see that. He was pretty sure that was why Ed hadn't grown a pair, yet… Did he do something to turn Max off? Did he talk in his sleep? Did he snore?

Oh god.

Was he bad?

Isaac just about hacked up a lung, bending over and trying to ignore the burning in his nose. Max watched him with wide eyes, setting down his pizza. It was with great curiosity that he saw Isaac sit up straight, cough a little more, then go back to hacking up every bit of air he breathed.

Oh god, that was it! He was bad enough that Max didn't want to be in a committed relationship! But what had he done wrong? It was hard to remember exactly what had gone on. It was all a blur of flying limbs among other- more descriptive- activities. Isaac felt his entire body heat up.

"Isaac, dude. You okay?"

"I'm fine."

Onions, chicken, alfredo…. What else did he need?

Ed glanced down at his shopping list, frowning when the letters were too blurry to read. He hadn't slept well last night. Between feeling hopelessly numb about Spender and the effects of a midnight coffee, he was still lost. He knew himself pretty well, or he liked to think that he did, so he didn't understand why finding something he wanted to do the rest of his life was so hard. Isaac was already in college studying foreign languages, Max knew what he was gonna do- and so did Isabel. Cindy was the only other person with little clue what she was doing, and she had a safety net he didn't have. Knowing he was the only one going through such indecision made it so much harder to take. He'd known from experience, the threat of being left behind was a damaging one. He had to figure out what he was going to do, and he had to do it fast.

"Ed?"

Ed turned around. "Oh, Miss Baxter! How are you? It's been a while!"

She smiled and switched the arm her basket was sitting on. "I'm doing fine, but I heard about Richard's passing." Ah, there it was- the empathy. Miss Baxter was known for it when she wasn't screaming. Her kind russet eyes batted at him so sweetly he almost felt sick. He didn't deserve it. He wasn't in mourning- not yet. "How are you?"

Ed tried to muscle up one of his usual smiles, but he just didn't have it in him. "I'm doing alright. Isabel's a little worse than I am, but she'll be okay." An understatement, but true just the same.

"I hope so." Baxter turned to her right and grabbed some vitamins, studying the brand to be sure it was her usual before dropping it into her basket. "It's a shame to see such a good man go so young. He wasn't much older than me."

"Yeah, well, you know what they say."

"Only the good die young?"

They chuckled together, and it was awkward and sad but it made him feel a little better. Baxter's smile fell and he truly saw how sad she was. She seemed so pale compared to the light tan she usually had. Her ponytail sat off near her left ear rather than perfectly aligned with the base of her head. One side of her skirt was hitched higher than the other and he could see that her pantyhose had runs in them. "Do you know when the funeral is?"

"Sometime this weekend. I'll make sure to stop by Mayview Middle and let you know when we settle on the time and place."

"I think I speak for myself and my coworkers when I say that I'd like that very much." They turned and started walking down the dairy aisle together, Baxter taking a gallon of milk and him a box of ice cream. "Anyway, off to a less morbid topic. Any plans for college?"

Ed felt everything in him drop again, and suddenly he was right back to where he started. He shrugged and looked down into his own basket, mentally going over the list again. Onions, chicken, alfredo, ice cream, what else? "I guess I'm going to Mayview Community."

"I guessed you were going to stay close to home. Any idea what you'll be majoring in?"

Ed fell silent. Baxter must have seen it in his face, because she patted his shoulder. "Why don't you rant and post it on some form of social media? I'm sure you'll find some good advice from somebody who's been in your shoes." That wasn't a horrible suggestion. Sometimes he forgot that the world stretched a little farther than Mayview. The internet wasn't limited to the kids he grew up with or the adults that were so different in walks of life, which meant somebody somewhere had to be able to tell him what to do!

Ed reached out and squeezed Baxter, thanking her profusely before diving into one of the lines for the cash register. Baxter seemed entirely unfazed. She was, after all, his teacher at one point. She'd learned very well that Ed was an enthusiastic young man, passionate about life.