Kakashi sighed and looked at the clock hanging on the wall above his TV and cringed a little bit. What he had meant to be an explination about why he had used the jutsu on Naru had turned into a painfully long story about his past and how he'd grown up. It had been over six hours since he'd started talking in an effort to explain himself and his actions and he still wasn't even close to the point where he could explain to her his reasons.
It was vexing to say the least. And he was growing tired. His stories about his youth had left him drained emotionally and physically. Maybe it would be best to simply admit my guilt, tell her I'm sorry and let Naru strangle me. He thought tiredly as he sat back in his seat and rested his head on the back of the couch and jumped a little bit when he felt Naru standing in front of him.
He opened his eyes and lifted his head to look at her and tried not to flinch when she reached out and put one hand on his upper thigh and cupped his face with her other hand. "Kashi..."
"I don't really want to say anymore Naru. It hurts too much."
"You don't have to tell me anymore of your life story if you don't want too. But at least tell me about the jutsu you put on me." He opened his mouth to say something when she hissed, "You swore to me that you would never do anything like Sauske. Tell me what the jutsu is meant for." He stared at her for a moment, his mismatched eyes wide and horrified.
No, no, no, no! He would never place a jutsu on a woman to steal her will or bend her to his own. That was rape in the worst sort of way and he hadn't designed the jutsu to be used for such a thing.
It was merely his way of overcompensating so that his mate wouldn't be afraid or intimidated by him. By who and what he was.
It was also a way to keep his mate from trying to harm him or herself simply to escape him. But it was painfully obvious now that Naru was suspicious of him and his motives. Her years of abuse at Sauske's hands making her think that all men were like him.
Making her think she wasn't safe with him even now.
Have I failed her already? He wondered as he swallowed past the lump in his throat as an painful ache started in the center of his chest. He wondered how she had managed to stay so in control if that was what she thought.
Surely she would have killed him by now if she really thought that... Wouldn't she? Or was she merely waiting to hear him condemn himself before she killed him?
He reached out and grasped both of her hands and jerked her into his lap then toppled them both over so that he had her pinned under him. Naru shrieked and growled something scathing about his mother as he used his body to press her down into the couch for a second before lifting himself up on his elbows a little bit and putting one hand against her chest.
Right over the binding mark.
Naru was eerily still under him, though he could make out the furious look on her face and knew that she'd fuck him up the second he let her go if his explination wasn't a damn good one. So he decided to make things easy for her. "Do you recall when I placed this mark on your chest?" He asked as he pressed his palm against her mark and waited for her to answer.
"Yeah. I remember." She gritted out from between clenched teeth. Her temper showing through in her expression. Kakashi gave her a wane smile and leaned down and kissed her chin only to have her jerk her head as soon as his lips touched her skin.
He sighed and pulled back a little bit so that he could see her. She was practically vibrating with rage by this point. "There was something that I left out when I placed this mark on you."
She growled and reared back her arm to punch him but he caught her arms in his hands and growled back at her. "Dammit listen to me! Let me get this out so that you'll never doubt me again."
She glared at him and he felt that ache in his chest intensify. "That mark is a lost Hatake clan jutsu that I learned about around the same time I came up with the one that I placed on you last night. The mark on your chest is to signify my devotion and to dredge up any affection that I feel, however small, for you and magnify it while acting as a safety net. If I hurt you in any way the marking on your chest will resonate with my own and cause intense physical pain- possibly even death. The reason I placed this jutsu on you was so that you would always feel safe with me-" He said softly noting that Naru's anger and rage was slowly melting away.
She had a look of dismay on her face that he would have done anything to erase, but he understood that she still needed time. "The other jutsu that I placed on you was to help you get through our wedding night. I grew up thinking that I was a monster in every regard, Naru."
"Because of this I created a jutsu that would keep my mate from feeling pain or from going into hysterics and trying to attack me to escape. The jutsu itself was created to block out some of the negative thoughts and emotions that you would feel. It doesn't steal your will, nor your right to say no. Those are always yours. It merely makes things easier for the both of us."
"I-I don't- Why would you- Huh?" Naru stammered stupidly, not quite grasping what he was saying in it's entirety. Kakashi gave her a sad/pained look and shifted his hand from her chest to run his finger tips along the curve of her cheek.
"After everything that Sauske put you through, did you really think I wouldn't take such measures? I told you that I would protect you. And I can do it better this way."
Naru looked like she wanted to say or ask him something, but shut her mouth and just lay there for a moment with an 'oh' look on her face. But he doubted that she still fully understood. So maybe he'd have to show her before she understood completely.
He sat up and pulled her along with him and grasped one of her hands in his and said in a tone that drew her gaze, "Pay attention. I'm only going to do this once." He grasped one of her fingers and started to bend it back...