"What do you think, should we help him?"

"I don't know, I kind of like him like this."

"I suppose a little longer wouldn't hurt. JARVIS, you're getting this, right?"

"Of course, Ms. Potts."

"Excellent."

Tony watches Pepper and Phil silently, stewing in his agitation. Of course they would think this is funny. Of course they would come running to the lab after hearing all that crashing, find him strung upside down by a few cables and think it's funny. He narrows his eyes.

"I hate all of you," he declares.

"Of course you do," Pepper says sympathetically.

"No really, though. Haha, we've all had a good laugh, joke's on Tony," Tony says quickly. "But could we seriously get me down, please? The blood's rushing to my head. I'm seeing spots. I'm growing faint."

He watches his two partners share a look—and he hates how they have those silent eye conversations—before Pepper eventually shrugs and the two walk over to him. Pepper stops in front of him with her arms folded across her chest, her eyes following Phil with a glimmer of amusement. The agent circles Tony, running his fingers lightly enough across the genius's midsection to make him shiver. Okay, so maybe being strung up like a Christmas goose has its upsides.

"Are we going to deface my lab?" he asks hopefully. "Because I'm all for defacing my lab."

"I don't know," Pepper says with an exaggerated sigh, tapping a finger against her entirely too kissable lips. "What do you think, Phil, does he deserve it?"

Phil finishes his round and comes to stand by Pepper with his hands in his pockets. He cocks his head and purses his lips, giving Tony an appraising look.

"Nah," he says.

"Oh my god, you cockblocking son of a bitch," Tony hisses. "When I get down, the three of us are having a serious talk about leading me on because between the two of you I'm going to die of blueballs."

"Relax, Tony," Pepper says. "Phil's just kidding."

"…so we are having sex in the lab?" Tony asks, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

By way of an answer, Tony gets a kiss from both of them; from Pepper on his right cheek and from Phil on his left. The agent shifts just enough so that his lips are by Tony's ear.

"Why do you think Pepper asked to make sure JARVIS was recording?"

Yes, there are some definite upsides to being upside down.