"Wow," Luke says.
The group of teen superheroes stares up at the viewing platform where Fury and Coulson are having what appears to be the fight of the century. At least, that's what it looks like from where they stand. They can't hear anything through the glass aside from muffled shouting, but with the hand motions and angry body language, they don't really need to know the specifics.
"I don't think I've ever seen Fury so—"
"Do not say it," Ava cuts Peter off.
"—furious," Peter finishes regardless as Ava groans. "I mean, really, we've seen him pretty damn angry, but…"
"Wow," Luke repeats, slack-jawed.
"I feel like I should go clean my room," Sam says, fidgeting.
"You don't have a room here to clean," Danny reminds him.
"I just feel like they're going to come out here and yell at us because our rooms are a mess," Sam says.
There's a ripple of agreement among them. Somehow watch the two men argue incurs the rising of every teenager's instinctive reaction when mom and dad are fighting: find any excuse they might have to yell at you and eliminate it. That, or hide.
"My money's on Coulson," Ava announces.
"What? No way, Fury's got this," Luke scoffs.
"I dunno, you didn't see him fight the Beetle with me," Peter says, clucking his tongue. "It was pretty badass."
"Yeah, but you don't get more badass than Nick Fury," Sam argues. "He's got an eye patch. And a cool coat."
"Sometimes it's the understated badass who proves to be the most badass of them all," Danny adds. "Still, there's no denying Fury is indeed at the top of the list."
"Ten bucks says Fury wins," Luke suggests.
Ava snorts. "Why don't you just give me the money now and save yourself the trouble?"
"Let's make it interesting: The losing side has to do the winning side's homework for a week," Peter suggests.
"Hope you like Shakespeare, web head, because you've got a fifteen page essay to write for me," Sam crows.
"Ha! We'll see about that, bucket head!"
"You touched Lola."
"For Christ's sake, Phil, it's a car."
"Yes, a car. My car. My car that we agreed you were never to touch."
"I can't believe you're complaining about this! She got all mucked up, so I took her to have her washed and instead of thanking me, you're complaining!?"
"You can't just take her to a car wash, Nick! Do you have any idea what all those chemicals will do? You've completely ruined the wax job I gave her this weekend."
"You are the most ungrateful bastard, do you know that? Never should have given you the damn car in the first place."
"Oh, really? Remind me again why you gave her to me?"
"No. I am not doing this with you."
"Oh, hey Phil, glad you're not in a coma anymore. Guess what? I told everyone you were dead! Guess what else? While you were dying against a wall, I smeared your blood on your priceless, near-mint collection of Captain America cards!"
"That was two years ago."
"And the only cards I have are still stained in blood."
"Look, I tried to get you another set but do you have any idea how hard those motherfuckers are to find?"
"Considering I found the entire set myself, yeah, I do."
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry I lied about your death, I'm sorry I ruined your cards, and I'm sorry I touched Lola. Can we move on please."
"Fine. But you're helping me with her wax job this weekend."
"Hn. That the only job you got planned?"
"Depends on how well you do. I will say that I'm a big fan of rewarding effort."
"Effort, huh? I'll show you some fucking effort."
The teens stare upward. For a minute, no one says anything.
"Are they kissing?" Sam shrieks.
"Oh my god, it's like watching your parents make out," Luke moans.
"Ohoho, this is definitely going on the S.H.I.E.L.D. Daddies blog," Ava cackles, retrieving her phone.
"Ava, what the fuck?" Peter nearly screams, horrified.
"I would prefer… to be elsewhere," Danny says vaguely.
"Wait, wait, stop, is that… Nick, why are the kids still here!?"
"What th—… I don't fucking know, you're supposed to be my good eye!"
"You were the one running this training simulation, you should have… Oh, grow up, Parker."
"Little shit acts like he's never seen two grown men kissing."
"Look at the faces they're making."
"…please do not tell me Ayala is getting off on this."
"Ah. Right, I meant to tell you about the blog I stumbled upon…"
"Fuck."