Chapter 18 – Day 11 – 8 Tributes

I wake up to the birds. Turning to my right, I see Delly, lying there, asleep. The air is stagnant. No wind. I can't feel any cold either. There's no cold yet there's no heat. It's a numbing air that I cannot choose whether it is cold or warm. I shift my weight forward and stand up in one swift movement. I look down at Delly again. She lies there with her eyes shut and she's curled up in a ball. Her knees tucked near her face and her arms folded between her legs. Deciding that it would be best if she rested, I walk around to find some breakfast.

Leaves crunch noisily with my steps but I have no discretion with them. My mind is still racing with thoughts about last night. I wonder about the Careers and what they're doing now. Probably sleeping.

Before long, I find a bird's nest. There's a bird in it, so I hit it with one of my knives. When it reels back and falls from the branch, its nest falls with it. In it I find three eggs. At first I feel bad for ruining the bird's chance at becoming a parent, but I quickly shake the thought and carry the eggs towards where Delly was sleeping. I spend an hour making a fire, and then I cook the eggs over the thinnest and largest rock I can find. This way, the eggs cook faster. At the same time, I pluck and cook the bird. Finally, I come up with a pretty fine breakfast, which I divide on two rocks and bring to Delly.

Delly still lies in her ball, motionless.

"Delly," I say to her, putting the two makeshift plates of breakfast on the ground. "Come on, it's time to get up."

I get no response.

"Delly." I say to her, a little louder. I give her a shake. Something is wrong.

When I shake Delly, her body moves a bit too much. From the past few days I've known her, I know she's not a heavy sleeper. Perhaps her body is limp because she's unconscious from her wounds. Or maybe she's dead.

This is where I start to panic. My heart rate goes up dramatically, and it hurts.

"Delly?" I ask her. No answer. I shake her a few times. No sign of movement.

"Delly, stop, this isn't funny." I say, my voice shaking. Tears form in my eyes and I wipe them away.

"Delly…" I give her a bit more of a shake.

"Delly!" I shake her wildly. Her head jolts from left to right and her arms shift around. I drop her and her body lands with a thud. Looking closely, I can see the blanket I wrapped around her is soaked with blood and there's some dried blood on her shirt. She must've bled out in the night.

I'm wheezing and hyperventilating and crying. I fall backwards and crawl a few feet back. I sit there, in shock, tears flowing down. She's dead; she's gone.

I sit there, sniffing and looking around, as if people are watching but nobody's doing anything. Well, they are. Everyone is watching me. I cry and hold a dead girl in my arms and they just watch. It's unbearable.

I stop myself from crying quickly. I stand up, grab my book bag, and walk away in the opposite direction. I don't know where I'm going but I want to get out of here. After an hour I realize I've left my breakfast over by Delly. I make a good decision not to go back.

I don't take any breaks. I keep a consistent half walk, half run as far as I can go. I'm breathing heavily and sniffing constantly. Tears blind my vision but I just brush them away and rub my eyes and keep going. I almost feel like getting further away from Delly's body will help me get better but it doesn't. The further I go the worse I feel.

Countless thoughts race through my mind. Why me? Why Delly? Is it worth trying anymore? I'm alone and afraid. I should die. I deserve to die. I couldn't even keep her alive.

With one last sniff I push through a few thin trees and find myself at the border of the arena once more. I can see the land fall only thirty feet in front of me. The rest is distant mountains and forests that cannot be reached.

I quietly step towards the cliff and wind blows my hair to the left. I look down and see the drop. Hundreds of feet straight down to that barrier. That barrier that zaps things. I imagine what it would be like to take my life now, give up. A quick fall and then a painless, split-second end. It would take no time at all. I dangle my foot from the cliff and lean forward the slightest bit, testing myself. But, as soon as I get close to falling I back up and then sit down to balance myself. Clearly I'm not ready to die just yet.

I sit along the cliff with my feet crossed and I stare out for a while. I don't know how much time passes, but I sit there thinking about Delly. It doesn't feel right that she's gone. I don't want her to be gone. She has to come back. She just has to.

But then, realistically, no she can't. She's gone. I have to accept it.

My tears begin to fade and my nose clears.

I don't want to be done crying yet, though. I still have feelings to let out. There's an immense amount of tension I need to release.

Looking to my side I see my clip of knives. Without a second thought, I grab one and just throw it over the cliff, screaming. It flies forward and then catches the barrier, zapping it's way to a few sparks. I do the same with four more knives but then stop. I count how many I have left. 14. I should save them.

I remain by the cliff for another hour to cool down, to let my mind run at 100 miles per hour until I can finally get back up again and continue with no distractions. I decide my main goal should be finding Billee. He's my last hope.

As the sun starts to reach it's setting point, I get up and go back into the forest. The trees are thick and numerous, as are the hills and different types of terrain. It's the most confusing part of the forest I've seen thus far. It seems so easy to get lost in this area. I keep walking straight, though. If I hope to get out, I shouldn't try and confuse my way. Straight is as good enough as anything.

The sun forces a red and pink light through the trees that shines in my eyes when there's a clearing in the tree's leaves. I find it hard to see but slowly the sun starts to fade and the sky turns a pale blue. The forest grows darker and I'm still not out of this thick part.

My mind is still on Delly when I hear footsteps behind me.

I turn around quickly to find nothing and no more footsteps. I decide to continue cautiously.

I only make it a few more steps before I hear the familiar footsteps behind me. I turn around quicker this time but still find no one.

I continue walking with my head turned to the right slightly, trying to see if I can catch someone following me. Maybe it's just my imagination, though.

When I hear them again I whip my head around to catch a glimpse of Teena's face before she knocks me to the ground. I land with a grunt and start to try and fight her but she's too big. I can't get her off of me and she unclips the ring of throwing knives off my belt and puts them by my feet where I can't reach them. She's got me down. I'm about to die.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" she whispers to me, a smile wide on her face. "Oh, come on, Atala, don't try and fight me."

I'm surprised to find myself actually give up and stop struggling. She keeps a good eye on me to make sure I don't make a sudden move.

"Here's how my game works." She says to me like I can't understand her. "You take one of mine, I take one of yours. It just so happens that you're that one."

I understand that she's talking about district tributes. I took Jaymes, so she's going to take me.

She raises her knife and is about to swing down before someone knocks her off me. As soon this mysterious tribute knocks Teena off of me, I sit up and grab my clip of knives. Then, I look over to Teena and the other tribute. They lay a few feet away fighting ferociously. The other tribute is winning, though. Teena keeps screaming and yelping, trying to get herself to overcome this tribute's strength, but she can't. Then, with the small amount of light that remains in the forest, I can see the tribute raise a long knife and stab Teena repeatedly until she shows no sign of movement. I sit there in a state of shock for a moment. Suddenly, the tribute turns towards me with their knife raised. I'm about to run but then I see the silvery "5" shining on his jacket shoulder.

It's Billee.

"Billee?" I ask.

"Atala?" is my response.

I get up and so does he, and we run towards each other and then hug. We just hug and hold onto each other as tightly as we can. I'm crying into his shoulder and with a muffled voice I tell him.

"Oh God, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I—" I begin to breathe hectically, trying to catch my breath and he rubs my back and says to me in a hushed voice.

"Shhh, sh, sh, sh, sh, it's okay, it's okay. You're all right. Shh."

I manage to retain a normal breathing pattern and I look up at him.

"I shouldn't have left you."

"Atala, any reasonable person would have left me."

We hug silently and after a minute or so I break the moment.

"Where have you been all this time?"

"Wanna see?"

I nod my head and then grab my belongings. He takes me back from the direction he knocked Teena over and we walk for a good mile. Then, we approach a large set of bushes.

"What's this?" I ask him.

"Look," he starts and then pushes some of the branches of the bush to the side. Within the bush is a large open space, almost like a cave. The room is lit with a small lantern that wasn't visible from outside, and there are scattered supplies all along the floor. "This is where I live." He says to me.

I crawl in with my mouth wide open, astonished at the living he's made in the past eleven days. I can see he has an array of flashy knives and a ton of food.

"Where did you even get all of this?"

"At Cornucopia. While the Careers made trips with supplies back and forth from the Cornucopia to their house, I was able sneak over a few times and steal some things. I mean, I know it's kinda stupid that I've just been hiding this whole time, but it's kept me safe up to this point." It's not stupid though, it's much smarter than what I've been doing. He hasn't had to endure even half of the things I've had to.

Before I can tell him that what he's been doing is smart, he shows me something.

"And look what I've got." He opens his left hand and sitting in his palm is a lighter. Its body is a thick, black material that feels like leather. The cap is shiny silver and engraved on the body of the lighter is a Capitol symbol in the same, shiny silver as the cap. I grab the lighter from his hand and inspect it as if it isn't real.

"Where the hell did you get this?" I ask him.

"I think one of the Careers dropped it." He says to me. "I found it in the grass a few days ago."

I think about how perfect this could be for fire but then I realize something.

"Billee, they never put lighters in the Games."

"So?"

"So it has to have some use, something other than fire. There has to be something in this arena that need quick lighting."

Billee shrugs his shoulders and looks at me like I'm crazy, but I know something's up with this lighter. I roll it around in my hand and hold it with my thumb, pointer, and middle finger. Then it hits me.

"The dynamite. The dynamite, Billee, the dynamite!"

"What are you talking about?"

I tell him the story about how I snuck into the Career house and stole a few things but I exclude Delly from the whole thing so he doesn't ask about her. I tell him about the sticks of dynamite that just laid there on the floor.

"So we have an advantage over them," he says to me. "And we have to use that advantage before it's too late." We sit there in silence for another minute. Then, Billee begins to talk once more.

"Tomorrow we go to their house when they're out. You'll go in and if they start to come back, I'll stay outside and distract them. While you're inside, though, you're gonna plant as many of those sticks of dynamite throughout the house to blow it up. If we can get rid of their supplies it'll be much easier to get rid of them in the end."

His plan seems faulty, but it's a start.

"I guess that could work."

"Alright." He says. "Now, get some sleep so you aren't passing out while lighting dynamite tomorrow."

I laugh because I can't tell if he was trying to make a joke out of the circumstance or not. He pulls a blanket from the side of the room and gives it to me. When he finally falls asleep, I inch towards him a little at a time because it makes me feel so much safer.

I fall asleep with my back against his, wrapped tightly in my blanket.

I don't even wake up for the anthem.