Chapter 21 – Day 15 – 3 Tributes

I wake up with a strong smell of fruit in my nose. The berries emit a beautiful aroma, something so soothing. Birds are chirping like usual, and the air dry and cold. Sharp gusts of wind rip through the trees that surround me and cut at my nylon jacket. I wonder how Billee is dealing with this, considering he never uses his jacket.

It takes a while for me to actually get up. I sit there in that berry bush for hours, enjoying the smell of the delicate fruit. It's the most relaxed I've been so far.

But then my mind decides to bring up Billee.

What if he's right? What if we do end up as the final two? He's strong enough to kill Portia, and he definitely has the intelligence to outwit her. If there's anything stopping him from killing her it's me. But not even physically, just mentally. Will he kill her and then kill me? I'm not sure.

My head hurts.

My eyes hurt.

My arms are sore.

My legs ache.

I have no will to continue. While the end is so close, everything seems so far. I feel as if nobody will ever die. The three of us will be stuck at this standstill for weeks and none of us will ever die. I don't see myself making it much further. Why do I even bother hiding anymore?

With this thought, I find the strength to stand up. I stretch my legs and reach my arms up high. Then, I walk, as usual. I step on branches and stomp around with all my weight. I don't want to hide because I want to die. I'm asking for someone to come and kill me. Why would my family even care if I came home? My own father hates me. I'd hate to be so melodramatic, but I feel as if my homecoming wouldn't be as much of a wonderful thing as Billee's.

Fast forward a few hours and I'm still trying to be as loud as possible. But, with only three tributes left in this whole giant arena, it's not likely that anyone's close enough to hear me. So, I sit down and look at the food Billee packed me when he was preparing my bag for my departure. Inside are three filled water bottles, bandages, a small paper bag of dried meat, four crackers, and a container with berries. I eat the crackers and some of the fruit. Maybe if I pour out all of my water, I'll dehydrate myself to death.

Right now, it seems like a good idea.

As I sit there and contemplate the ways I could kill myself, day becomes night. I find myself in the dark quickly. The stars barely light up the forest. I can hardly see inches in front of me.

"Tomorrow." I tell myself. Tomorrow will be the day I kill myself. I'm not quite sure how yet. I'm terrified of the idea of throwing myself off a cliff into an electric barrier, but it may be my only option.

I put my things together in my book bag and use it as a pillow. I lie on my back and watch the few stars I can see. Then, the Capitol symbol pops up and I jump. The anthem plays and shows no one. If nobody dies soon, the Gamemakers will pull another one of their stunts to get us to die. Being that it's been over two weeks with us in the arena, I'm sure the Capitol citizens are nearly bored to death. I wonder if any of them are betting on me. With how I'm looking now, I'm sure nobody is. I'm probably the laughing stock. The one that people look at and say "Oh yeah my bet is on Atala" and then everyone laughs.

I close my eyes and find myself in a place not much darker than the world around me.