"Confringo!"
Steve had been having a not-so-great day. Their monster of the week was something like a giant tortoise but instead of a shell, it possessed a gelatinous dome upon its back. Unfortunately, it seemed to be collecting things to stuff inside the dome, people included. Attacks of any kind proved to be useless; bullets bounced off, missiles were absorbed, lasers fizzled out. Then the Hulk tried to punch it… and had gotten sucked in. Trying to extract the Hulk meant that all of them had been sucked in.
And just when Steve was sure that they might not be able to force their way out—as Tony's propulsions systems got all gummed up by green goo and they were steadily losing the fight to hold their breaths—there was Phil. There was Phil pulling a stick out of his jacket and pointing it at the goo turtle and shouting something.
Then there was an explosion and that's why he finds himself sitting beside his teammates on the street as goo rains down on them. They stare at Phil and Phil stares at them, tapping the stick in the palm of his hand. Tony lifts his faceplate to peer suspiciously at the agent.
"Did I just hear you—?"
"Yes, Mr. Stark."
"How…?"
"I believe everything will be explained momentarily," Phil answers, looking somewhat uncomfortable.
They stare collectively as the space beside the agent which had formerly been vacant suddenly isn't. Instead, there are two men standing there—one with dark, flyaway hair and glasses, and the other tall and slim with flaming red hair. Phil dips his head in greeting to the newcomers, as though people popping into existence is an everyday occurrence for him.
"And here I was just expecting an owl from the Ministry," Phil says, handing the stick over to the red-headed man.
"These are special circumstances. So we thought we'd handle the matter personally," the dark-haired man says. He grins and holds a hand out. "How've you been, Phil?"
"Very well, thank you," Phil answers. "How are the children?"
"Jealous because James will be heading to Hogwarts next year," the red-headed man snorts. "It's all they ever talk about, as though the age of entry weren't in place for hundreds of years before they were born. It's madness is what it is, parenthood."
"Uh, excuse me?" Tony pipes up, wading through the piles of goo in various stages of melting. "What the fuck is going on? Who's the Harry Potter cosplayer?"
The dark-haired man smiles in a way that looks as though someone has tread on his foot and he just doesn't want to have to say anything about it. The red-headed man just looks amused. Phil sighs deeply and gestures to their two guests.
"Harry Potter and Ron Weasley," he says. He gestures to all of them. "The Avengers."
There is an awkward moment of silence.
"Yes, like from the books," Phil says before any of them can say a word.
"Were there hallucinogens in that goo?" Bruce wants to know, looking dubiously at the bits of it still clinging to all of them while trying to keep his pants up.
Steve frowns. "Phil, what's going on here?"
"I'm being detained by wizards for improper use of magic," Phil answers. "But perhaps we could discuss this on the Helicarrier."
"You're a wizard, Hogwarts is real, Harry Motherfucking Potter is real, magic is real and you're a wizard," Tony exclaims, looking something between amazed and pissed off.
"Was a wizard," Phil corrects him. "Which is why we're having this discussion in the first place."
From what they'd explained, Steve has come to understand that all of those things are, in fact, real. The books they all know of were written as a way of making it easier for modern day witches and wizards to get around without being questioned. Because with the success of the books and the movies, no one's going to question someone walking the streets in robes and a witch's hat, are they? It's clever, he has to admit, if not shocking. More shocking is the fact that Phil is apparently a part of this world. Or had been, anyway.
"I left the wizarding world following the Battle of Hogwarts in '98. I wanted to do more and I didn't see a place for myself in that life where I could," Phil explains. "So I renounced my heritage, had my wand snapped upon my exit, swore an oath not to use magic or reveal anything I knew to Muggles and joined S.H.I.E.L.D."
"I'm still having a hard time swallowing this," Clint says, rubbing at his eyes. "I've known you for years."
"Understandable," Phil says with a small shrug. "But I didn't want you to know. So you didn't. I'm a half-blood, so returning to a life without magic wasn't quite as difficult as I would have thought."
"Doesn't America have its own wizarding community, though?" Steve wants to know. "I mean, why did you have to go all the way to England?"
It's only then that Phil begins to look uncomfortable. "It's not so much that I had to. My mother is British, and was a witch of some… notability. She and my father had separated and I was living in England with her when I was eleven, so my letter naturally came from Hogwarts, despite the fact that I was born and had spent most of my life in America."
"They don't know who your mum is?" Ron questions, eyebrows raised.
"No," Phil answers shortly.
"Why, who's your mother?" Natasha asks, leaning forward in his seat.
"That's not important right now," Phil says dismissively. "What is important is that—"
"You used fucking magic?" Fury demands, striding into the conference room. "I told you not to use Spello-tape on that thing. You're lucky the spell actually worked and didn't leave a pile of goddamn ashes where you used to be."
"I didn't have much choice," Phil says evenly. He makes a gesture towards everyone seated at the table. "You would have preferred that I allowed them to run out of air?"
Fury makes a thoroughly displeased noise, one that sounds as though he's trying to will himself not to scream himself hoarse. He turns his angry glare on their two magical guests who don't seem the least put out by the hostility that rolls of the director in waves.
"So how is this going to play out?" Fury asks.
"There will be a Ministry hearing. The process is fairly expeditious but he will have to remain in our custody for the duration," Harry explains. He gives Phil a reassuring look. "Ron and I will be arguing on your behalf. Given current world events and your position, I don't think we'll have much trouble convincing them to drop any charges."
"Thank you," Phil says, rising from his seat.
Harry and Ron rise with him. The Avengers rise. There's an awkward silence hanging in the air.
"If you're taking him anywhere, we're going," Steve declares resolutely. "Or you don't take him at all."
"While I appreciate the sentiment," Phil says slowly, "you can't. You're part of the reason I have to go."
"If there is to be a trial, then it will not be held unless we are in attendance," Thor says, looking about as immovable as a mountain. "As we were directly involved in the situation in question, we have a right to appear as your witnesses. You will face no court if it means doing so without our support."
Phil opens his mouth to speak, but instead closes it promptly and offers Ron and Harry a helpless look. The two wizards, who have taken everything in stride thus far, continue to take things in stride. Harry turns his attention to Fury.
"They do have a good point. It wouldn't hurt to have them on our side to explain the situation to the Wizengamot," he says.
Fury doesn't look happy about it as he shakes his head. He folds his arms across his chest and looks to the Avengers. "You sure as hell better make sure you bring him back with you."
"He's coming back with us, one way or another," Steve says. "Count on it."
Steve doesn't want to make this an issue between them, especially not now when they are currently being gawked at as they are lead through the halls of what he's been told is the Ministry of Magic. Because this isn't an issue about them. Not really. But he can't help but feel a little wounded by it all.
"I understand you weren't allowed to talk about it," Steve says quietly. "But why is it that Fury knew about all of this and I didn't?"
Phil lets out a breath through his nose. "Because Fury has to know about it. He's the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. And I would have liked to have told you, Steve, but there isn't exactly a good time to sit someone down and tell them you used to be a wizard."
"No, I don't suppose there is," Steve admits. "I'm not angry, I'm just having a hard time understanding all of this."
"I know," Phil answers, a sliver of guilt in his eyes. "And I promise we'll talk about it when we get home."
"That's all I'm asking for," Steve says. He grabs hold of Phil's hand, noting that despite being in public, the agent makes no move to pull away. If anything, he seems to gravitate closer to the soldier. "We'll get you out of this. If they want to get to you, they're going to have to go through us first."
"I'd prefer it if it didn't have to come to that," Phil says. "Let's just see how this plays out, alright?"
"If you like. But remember…"
"I know; they'll have to go through you. Good opportunity to test if your shield is impervious to magic."
Steve grins at that and although Phil offers one to match, it doesn't stay long. There's something else about all of this that's bothering the agent; something he doesn't want to talk about. Apart from everything that's being revealed, there must still be things that he's uncomfortable with. Steve squeezes his hand, prompting the other man to look up at him.
"Whatever's bothering you, if you need to talk about it, I'm right here," he affirms.
But that only causes Phil to look even more troubled. "Steve, there are certain things that I'll have to tell you that you won't like. Please understand that I never kept them from you with any intention of hurting you but that I understand your right to be upset by them."
"Phil, come on," Steve says with a shake of his head. "Whatever you have to tell me, I'm sure I can handle it."
"Alright," Harry says, stopping them in front of a pair of very large, wooden doors. "This is as far as we go together. Ron will get you seated and Phil's going to come with me. If we need you to give testimony, we'll call on you, but otherwise try to be quiet."
Following at Ron's instruction, Steve watches as Harry leads Phil away from them until they're no longer in sight. As the doors open before them, he can't help but wonder what they've gotten themselves into this time.
The trial goes better than expected; far better. In an unheard of turn of events, Phil has not only been pardoned for his illegal use of magic, but Harry and Ron managed to talk the Wizengamot actually having his right to practice it reinstated. Well, mostly. He still has to be careful around the general public, but he's been cleared to practice legally when out of the sight of Muggles not comprising of the Avengers or S.H.I.E.L.D. But given his line of work stacked up against current events, the exception was not as hard to make as it should have been.
"Congratulations," Harry says warmly, shaking Phil's hand.
"I can't thank you enough. Either of you," Phil answers honestly.
"Least we could do," Ron says with a shrug. "I never did understand why you went and left it all. Sure you won't just come back?"
"As tempting as the offer is," Phil says, and Steve can see his glance slide to him and his teammates, however briefly, "I'm right where I need to be."
"Then instead of cluttering the halls," Harry says, "why don't we make a trip to Ollivanders to get you a new wand and you can show the Avengers around Diagon Alley?"
"It's like Christmas," Clint exclaims.
"You're not taking anything home with you," Phil says flatly.
"Phillip, what have you done this time?"
The group turns at large at the sound of an elderly female voice. Steve's eyes go wide and round and were he not focused on the newcomer, he would have seen all the color drain from Phil's face.
"Peggy?" he blurts.
"Steve?" the woman counters.
"Mum?" Phil says.
Steve turns on Phil. "…did you…? Mum?"
When he had wondered what they'd all gotten into, he realizes he didn't even have the first clue. Looking between Peggy Carter and Phil Coulson, he realizes that this must have been what the agent had warned him about. Perhaps it won't be as easy to take as he'd first assumed.