It's horrible, but I'm not really even sorry that it's been this long.

In the past two months, the guy I've had a crush on for two years asked me on a date, told me he enjoyed it, then friendzoned me; my mother has made it her life goal to tell me how inadequate I am every second of the day, and I've missed a good two weeks more of school because I've been out with pneumonia, and, apparently, something else that they haven't quite figured out with. So, to put it plainly, my life has been absolute shit. But here I am! I am writing this stupid chapter I've been putting off forever. I know what happens, I've just been in a depressed, sick funk that's been letting me languish about the house crying over the Flash and feeling sorry for myself. But I'm picking up. Two more chapters, and this fic will be over, I can take a break, and then… start a new one. Boy, oh boy.

Anyways, thank you guys so much for sticking around to read this. I know it's been a long time, and that really is inexcusable. And it isn't even that good. It's terrible writing, and it's almost a filler piece. But I'm trying, I promise. And this one isn't even that long to make up for it. But the next wait won't be nearly as long. Cheers.

James had quite possibly never been more uncomfortable in his life.

His hair was slicked back within an inch of his life with an ancient-smelling pomade of Vernon's father's that James was ninety percent sure had been used as a form of chemical warfare in the first World War. It was that old, and that odious. It was applied forcefully into his hair in suspicious chunks by Vernon's very aggressive sister- he believed he'd caught one of the indistinguishable bridesmaids call her Marge on her way out.

So this is the Marge Lily was talking about, James mused.

The sister and the mother, both bearing a remarkable resemblance to Vernon (and subsequently a walrus, or perhaps a killer whale) had nearly attacked James in a corridor of the church, dragging him into an impromptu dressing room.

"We didn't want to have to do this," Marge huffed. "We wanted to keep her as far away from the ceremony as possible."

"You have no idea how uncomfortable people like her make Vernon," Mrs. Dursley tutted. "Such a pity he's marrying a girl with that blood in the family."

"Well, there's still time for him to change his mind," James suggested hopefully. Both of the Dursley women squinted suspiciously at him. "Do you have any designs on the elder Miss Evans?" Mrs. Dursley said suddenly. James nearly choked on his own breath. "You've got to be kidding," James said incredulously.

"Not at all, Mr. Potter. You have been living in the same house as my son's betrothed. I am extremely suspicious."

Who would go for Petunia when Lily's around? James thought. "I assure you, Mrs. Dursley, I have absolutely no interest in your son's fiancee. But, if you were so kind, would you explain to me why I have been kidnapped in a house of God?"

Mrs. Dursley huffed. "One of our dear Vernon's groomsmen, Winston, is stuck in his hotel room, vomiting his past three meals up. Now we can't have him befouling the wedding, can we?"

"I don't see what this has to do with me."

"You are the only groomsmen-aged available male that can stand in for Winston."

James gaped at her. "You've got to be kidding."

"I assure you, I have never joked about something so serious in my life."

"Have you ever joked at all? It's really a rather cleansing experience-"

Marge huffed. "Now, you are to keep your mouth closed the entire ceremony. Stand there and do absolutely nothing. You are only a member of the party to maintain the balance. You are there for the sake of normalcy."
"Hold on, who said I'd even do it?"

Marge narrowed her already small eyes at James. "You'll do it, or I'll- I'll- well, you'll be sorry."

"I'm simply quaking in my brogues."

"If you do it, we'll let you walk down the aisle with her."

James paused. "Really?"

"Who knows, it may be your only chance."

"Wow, hit me where I'm vulnerable, why don't you?"

Mrs. Dursley shrugged, while Marge snickered off to the side. "Now, stand still so I can tame this unsightly mop of hair." She paused. "Just to be clear, your participation in this event in no way includes you in our family."

"Believe me, that's just the way I like it."

-x-x-x-

"Lily! Hey, Lily!"

Lily turned around in a swirl of peach tulle, then swore as she stepped on the navy blue sash. Struggling to retie the bow behind her back, she craned her neck to see who had been calling her name. After trying, and consequently failing, to knot the fabric on her own, she resigned herself to look like the shabbiest bridesmaid.

"Let me get that for you."

Lily swung around to find herself face-to-face (or rather face-to-shoulder) with Remus Lupin. She smiled, giving him a warm hug. He laughed and hugged her back, saying, "Jeez, Lily, I told Sirius I was recovered enough to come, but I forgot how hard your hugs are."

Lily immediately withdrew, apologizing profusely, to which Remus chuckled, waving her stammering redresses away. "I was joking, Lily! It's alright. Now, let me get your sash for you, it looks like a nightmare to tie."

As he knotted the blue satin ribbon, Lily took in his appearance. His tall, lanky frame looked a little peakier than usual, but his hair was nicely combed, laying flat everywhere except for a single cowlick sticking up at the back of his head. His tweed jacket was shabby, but neatly brushed, and a cheerful red vest enlivened his pallid demeanor.

Sirius, looking carelessly handsome in an expensive dark grey suit, rushed up to the two of them. "Hello, Lily. Where is James on this fine summer evening?"

"Sirius, it's twenty degrees out and snowing."
"Whatever. Where's your boy?"

She snickered. "Vernon's second groomsman is hammered, and we can't have a drunk spoiling their perfect wedding. I expect the Dursley women are trying to find a way to keep his godforsaken hair flat by now."

Sirius and Remus roared with laughter. "Good luck with that," Remus said. "He's messed it up so thoroughly it just grows like that now. No amount of hair gel could ever tame that beast."

Sirius looked at Lily contemplatively. "Speaking of drunks, glad to hear you aren't smashed in a jazz club anymore. Actually, it's kind of impressive that you're standing up without sunglasses on. What's your secret?"

Lily winced. "Oh. You heard about that?"

Remus looked at her flatly. "Lily. We're his best mates. About as soon as it happened, James put it in the groupchat and asked us how he should deal with it."

Lily couldn't help it; she burst out laughing. Sirius and Remus chuckled along with her.

"Yeah, it was pretty funny for us, too." Remus said.

"But, I mean, we're used to Concerned James," Sirius said. "And Confused James, and Lovesick James, and Jealous James, and about a thousand other emotional Jameses. I guess you aren't."

"Wait, what?" Lily asked.

"NOTHING!" Remus yelled. "We should, um, probably be getting to our seats!"

"The wedding doesn't start for another hour!"

"Yeah, well, we need good seats so we can make faces at Vermin while he's making his vows," Sirius explained.

"Well, look at that, it's Lewis and McKinnon," Remus said. "I think we should say hello."

Marlene and Alan had, in fact, just walked through the chapel door and were heading towards Lily. Unfortunately, Sirius grabbed Marlene by the elbow and dragged her in the exact opposite direction before they could talk to each other. Marlene looked at Lily and shrugged helplessly, with a chuckling Alan bobbing along in her wake, leaving Lily alone at the door of the chapel.

-x-x-x-

As Lily scanned the growing crowd entering the church, a thought hit her like a train: Petunia was really marrying this man, this lecherous, self-absorbed, repulsive thing- she was finally going through with it. Lily had always thought that she would come to her senses eventually, that she would dump him, that this was just some sort of horrible phase, but no- she was about to bind herself forever to this abhorrent walrus of a man.

James walked up behind her and looped his arm through hers. "Jeez, I feel like I'm in a straightjacket. I can barely breathe in this tux. And the peach vest-tie combo? Hideous. I thought I was going to rock the ugliest look at this party with my yellow tie, but, somehow, this is worse."

He looked over at Lily and frowned. "You okay? You look pale. Well, paler than usual."

Lily swallowed and muttered, "I'll be back in a minute."

She dashed through the corridors of the church back to the room where was preparing for her wedding. She stood in the doorway and announced, "Ladies, would you clear out? I'd like a moment with my sister. Alone."

Petunia swiveled around in her stool to face the mirror, her fluffy white dress creating a storm of fabric around her. Picking up a pair of pearl earrings, she looked at her sister in the mirror.

"What, Lily? I thought I asked you to welcome the guests as they arrived."

Lily stayed quiet, biting her lip. Petunia frowned, turning around to face her sister. "Lily, is something wrong?"

"Look, Tuney, I know we've had our differences. And I know it's been so hard for you since Mom died without me here. But we can try to be more normal, and we can try to do things your way. But this really isn't the solution. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with Vernon?"

Petunia bit her lip and didn't answer. Sensing hesitation, Lily continued on.

"You don't have to marry him. You are in no way obligated to do it- it's entirely your choice. You say the word and I'll tell Dad, and James and I can create a distraction so you can leave, or we'll manufacture a large enough disaster that the wedding will be delayed for a day or two so you can tell Vernon yourself, if that's what you want to do. But you don't have to do anything you don't want to. It's not too late."

Petunia seemed to have been on the verge of agreement until Lily mentioned James. Her eyes narrowed and her face closed up.

"No," she spat. "This is the only way to have a normal life and get away from freaks like you and your little friends!" She spun around and began to adjust her immaculate golden curls. "Now, leave me and my bridesmaids alone so I can prepare for the happiest day of my life."

Lily stood still for a minute, then turned slowly, going out the door and shutting it behind her with a final-sounding click. Her vision grew blurry with tears, and she began to walk. Instead of going back back to the entrance of the chapel, however, Lily found herself in a small alcove with a statue in it- the image of Saint Cecilia. She flung off her heels and knelt at the base of the statue.

"Er, hey, Mom. I know that it's pretty much my fault that you died, and this is the first time I've tried to, uh, talk to you since then. I'm so, so sorry. But I think you know that.

"I'm having a hard time accepting Petunia's marriage to Vermin. And I know you would have, too, but you also would have found it in you to accept her decision as an adult. So can you help me make peace with Petunia's choice?

"While we're, uh, talking, I guess, can you help me with James? I don't want to spoil our friendship with something he doesn't want, but he's special to me. Like, really special. Marlene says I should go for it, and I remember you and her agreeing on a lot of things. Will you send me some sort of sign, or something?

"I, er, really, really miss you, Mum. Please forgive me. Thanks."

Someone knelt down beside her. Through her still somewhat cloudy vision, she saw a still-messy mop of black hair, an aggressively peach vest, and she smelled something that reminded her vaguely of sulfur mixed with unwashed socks. She coughed. "What's that smell?"

"Vermin's dad's hair pomade. I'm pretty sure it was on the list of substances banned by the Geneva conference."

Lily felt fabric dabbing away the tears on her cheeks, and opened her eyes to find James wiping them away with his tie. "Oh, now your tie is going to have my makeup stains on it," Lily sniffled, wiping her nose.

"Please, it was hideous anyways. It's really not a huge loss." He pulled her to her feet. "Now, come on. The ceremony is about to start."

Lily bent down to pick up her heels, but James kicked them aside. "Who needs shoes, you know?"

"Well, you're wearing them, for starters."

James looked at her, then down at his feet. "I suppose I am." He kicked his shoes off as well, revealing purple socks spangled with airplanes. "That's much better," he said, wiggling his toes emphatically.

"James?"

"Yes, Lily?"

"How much did you hear?"

He looked at her carefully. "Enough."

-x-x-x-

Lily didn't think she could take much more.

Her sister's wedding ceremony was going on all around her, but she hadn't really seen a single thing. All she could focus on was the black-haired boy standing across from her.

For most of the ceremony, he'd been making faces at her, wiggling his eyebrows when the priest misspoke, miming Vernon as he said his vows, rolling his eyes when Petunia emphatically averred her willingness to have a normal life with him. But now, he was just looking at her. Unmasked scrutiny. But she didn't feel uncomfortable, as she always had when Sev had looked at her that way. She felt comfortable, at home, and she stared right back- there was no reason to hide. He wasn't looking at her to make her uncomfortable- he was looking at her so he could see her.

And maybe it was her mother's answer, maybe it was just a coincidence, but Lily felt that she had both of her answers. And the solutions were one and the same.

She wiggled her feet on the cold stone floor, knowing how to handle both of her problems. She smiled slightly at James, finally feeling at peace.