NB: THANK YOU everyone for your reviews, the time you take to read this story, and your support. Knowing that you are as enthusiastic about LITTLE SECRETS as I am definitely makes me want to write this story better as I go. PLEASE KEEP your LOVES/HATES/THOUGHTS/HOPES/FAVORITE LINES AND MOMENTS/FOLLOWS/FAVORITES and WHATEVER ELSE coming...Merry Christmas from me to you..Enjoy chapter five..
CHAPTER FIVE
"Are you ok?" Deacon whispered, hoping that the girls couldn't hear the concern in his voice as he watched Rayna slowly undo her seatbelt.
Maddie untangled herself from her seatbelt and frowned. "Why's dad here? Mom, I thought it was your week?"
"Ray," Deacon tried again.
"Who cares?! Dad's here! Race you inside?" Daphne clutched the door handle. She opened her door and Maddie did the same.
"Darlin', what'd you-" Deacon turned around when he heard the back doors opening. "Hey, hang on…Don't go just-"
Maddie and Daphne went bolting in the direction of the house.
Rayna's head darted in Deacon's direction when she registered that he was talking to her. "Um, I don't…"
"Do you want me to come in with you?" he asked, his eyes searching hers.
Rayna wanted Deacon by her side when she walked into that house, but she didn't know if that would do more harm than good right now. She hadn't told Teddy that she'd been seeing Deacon again and she knew that was definitely not going to go down well. The last few months had been messy with the divorce and custody arrangements. Rayna had grown to dread the times when she saw Teddy because they would leave her mentally and emotionally drained. There had been many arguments and disagreements as to how things would go with the girls, but they'd eventually agreed on suitable arrangements that would work for both the girls and them.
Now that they were divorced, their conversations seemed to revolve around Maddie and Daphne. Usually, Teddy managed to make some offhanded remark about Deacon, letting her know his disgust and disapproval of him. Mostly, Rayna just ignored it, but some days she'd get so fed up with it that she'd throw her two cents in about Peggy. That always seemed to shut him up. Rayna hadn't shared any of this with Deacon but she sensed that he probably knew what was going on. He always knew how to read her, even when she tried hiding her feelings from him. He could tell what she was thinking, he always could.
"Babe, I think," Rayna reached for his hand. "Maybe we'll give pizza a miss tonight?"
"All you have to do is ask," he looked her in the eyes. "And I'll stay, I'll come in with you."
"It's fine,"
"Darlin', you said it yourself, you weren't expectin' him. The last thing I want is for you to have-"
"It's probably nothin'," Rayna said unconvincingly. She broke eye contact and scratched her head. "Really, he probably just left somethin' here last week and he's come back to get it. It'll be fine."
Deacon looked at her for a long while before speaking. "Only if you're sure."
"I'm sure," Rayna nodded and reluctantly grabbed her belongings before pushing the door open. "I'll call you later, babe."
"Wait," he jumped, tugging at her arm. He didn't want her to go in looking like that. He hated seeing her on edge and anxious. Rayna turned back around. Deacon pulled her towards him and kissed her softly.
She broke the kiss and smiled uneasily. "I'll call you…"
Rayna slammed the car door and reluctantly headed into the house. She dropped her things on a little table next to the front door and listened for any signs of movement. She heard the girls before she saw them.
"He picked us up from school, and then he brought us food-"
"I had two whole burgers and half of Maddie's, it was so awesome!"
"Yeah, no that was just gross," Maddie said curtly. "You wanna know what was really awesome dad? Awesome was going to mom's studio. We got to hang out where she works. Dad, it was so cool. I got to play a real piano that artists like record on…and then Deacon was teaching me a song-"
Rayna's eyes grew wide at the mention of Deacon's name, as she stood hidden in the hallway. Teddy was going to fly off the handle if he heard Deacon's name again, she could feel it.
"And all four of us sang-" Daphne added excitedly as she skipped around the kitchen.
"Hey," Rayna cut into the conversation as she entered the kitchen.
Teddy looked up at Rayna, deliberating glaring at her when their eyes met. "Hi,"
"Mom, dad's here."
"I know, I can see that." she nodded, trying to remain composed despite how unsettled she felt.
"Sorry I didn't call," Teddy took Daphne's hand and twirled her around. "I just assumed that you remembered I was pickin' the girls up tonight."
"You were?" Rayna frowned and then realisation dawned her. "Oh, shoot! Today's Friday isn't it? I'm so sorry, I totally forgot."
"Yeah-"
"What's going on?" Maddie asked.
"You girls are coming home with me tonight." Teddy replied cheerfully, despite his obvious frustration.
Maddie looked at her parents blankly, clearly wanting an explanation. "But I thought it was mom's week."
"I know sweetie, but you're daddy is taking y'all to the zoo tomorrow for the animal education fundraiser and opening of that new exhibit." Rayna forced a smile and caught Daphne in her arms as she ran past her. "Remember?"
Maddie nodded slowly.
Rayna stroked Daphne's hair as she looked from one girl to the other. "So you two need to go pack a few-"
"But I wanted to eat pizza with-" Daphne protested, whipping her head around suddenly. "With Deacon? Where is he?"
Rayna swallowed hard and avoided Teddy's gaze. Sometimes she had no idea why her nine-year-old had to open her mouth. She tried smiling to shake the discomfort gurgling in her stomach.
"Yeah," Maddie agreed, looking causally in the direction of the front door. "Where is he anyway?"
"Why don't y'all run on upstairs and pack yourselves some things for the night, hey?" Teddy suggested slowly, his eyes not leaving Rayna as he smiled. "Your mom and I need to talk."
Both girls sensed the tension and looked to their mother for direction.
"I'll be up in a minute," she nodded encouragingly in the direction of the stairs as she grabbed a hold of the counter. "Off you go."
They did as they were told and disappeared. Rayna was sure she heard Daphne grumbling about pizza as they climbed the stairs but she didn't take much notice, she was too busy trying to stop her heart from beating any faster.
"So we're lettin' strangers pick them up from school now?" Teddy asked coldly, breaking the silence that had settled over the room. "Is that it?"
Rayna looked up suddenly. "What?!"
"I thought you cared about our daughter's safety."
"I do." she narrowed her eyes.
"So lettin' Deacon-?"
"Oh, come off it, Teddy," Rayna scoffed. "You know good and well that our girls have known Deacon their whole lives. They've grown up callin' him uncle Deacon-"
"He's not good for them, no good for anyone," Teddy interjected, emphasizing the last few words as he shook his head. "I honestly can't believe you think that it's okay for them to be spendin' time-"
"You're kiddin', right?" Rayna folded her arms, fury crossing her face.
"I don't want him comin' around here."
"You're bein' ridiculous."
"I'm bein' ridiculous?" Teddy asked sarcastically, jerking his thumb at himself.
"Yeah, you are. I don't get it. One minute you're threatenin' to tell Deacon the truth and the next you're flyin' off the handle because he's takin' the girls out for burgers?!"
"You," Teddy pointed at Rayna, his tone angry and bitter. "Might be sleepin' with him Rayna-"
"Excuse me!" Rayna's eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped. She looked in the direction of the stairs, hoping that girls weren't in earshot.
"But that doesn't mean he get's to come on in here and act like he's their damn father, because he's not!" Teddy spat.
Rayna stood frozen in place and unable to form any words as she digested what he was saying. Before she could give any thought to what her mouth was doing she spoke. "He's Maddie's father."
As angry and unreasonable as he was being, she knew those words cut him when she saw the hurt that filled his eyes. Just as quickly as she saw it, it disappeared.
"You've been real good at makin' sure I remember that lately."
"I'm her father, not him," Teddy shook his head. He picked up a piece of fruit out of the fruit bowl and shot her a knowing look. "But I guess you'd see it differently because you're lettin' him get into your bed and your-"
"Our girls are just up those stairs," Rayna forced the point as she gestured to the stairs. "So choose what you're gonna say very carefully..." she warned. She was in no mood for whatever vulgar and offhanded comment that was sure to come tumbling out of his mouth if she didn't put a stop to it.
"I'm her father...she doesn't have to know any different."
Rayna sighed, throwing her hand in the air. "No one said you weren't...but I sure as hell ain't sayin' that he's not either."
Teddy looked at her resentfully.
"And before you get any crazy ideas about blackmailin' and usin' me or your daughter again in some nasty game of yours...Deacon knows."
"He knows?" Teddy laughed bitterly.
"Mmhmm, he does," she nodded surely, finally feeling like she had the upper hand in this argument. "And you know, he's not goin' anywhere, Teddy so-"
"Rayna, the last thing I wanna do is argue and be petty about any of this," Teddy said.
Rayna stifled a laugh and rolled her eyes. Of course he wanted to argue and be petty, that's exactly what he was doing right now. They heard feet running back and forth upstairs and paused.
Teddy broke the silence, finishing the sentence he'd started before. "But I don't want him around, I don't want Maddie finding out the truth about all of this."
"I don't get it? All you've done for weeks is give me grief about wantin' to keep the truth from everyone and now when I'm finally doin' what you said you're-"
"I've changed my mind."
"You don't get to make that call."
"Remember when she was born? That day in the hospital, it was me, not him, me...We decided, and you promised. We need to, you need to honor what we agreed on. I don't want him comin' around."
"Or what?"
"You're gonna want to hope you don't find out." Teddy said carefully, emphasizing each word, as he looked her in the eye.
Rayna took a step back. "Do not threaten me."
"All I'm saying is that I don't want him around our daughters-"
"Mom!" Maddie yelled, interrupting the argument. They both looked at each other and then at the stairs.
"Yeah?!" Rayna called warily, clutching her hands to hide her sudden shaking.
"Daphne won't get up off of her bed! She won't pack anything!"
Rayna frowned and slowly wandered in the direction of the voice that was talking to her. "Why not?"
"Because she wants pizza...with Deacon."
Rayna looked at Teddy reluctantly and immediately regretted it. He shot her a look that could kill.
"Shut up! You want pizza too!" Daphne defended feistily.
"Daphne Ray..." Rayna warned. "I'm comin' up there if you don't get your behind off that bed." she put her hands on hips as she waited to hear a reply.
"I'm moving, I'm moving." she groaned.
Rayna turned her attention back to Teddy, who looked more than ready to continue what he'd been saying.
"Like I was sayin'-" Teddy started.
"Ouch! Daphne! Mom!" Maddie yelled.
Rayna let out the breath she'd been holding and bolted up the stairs, silently thanking her youngest for giving her a way out of that hell of a conversation. "I'm coming!"
- NASHVILLE -
Pacing the kitchen back and forth, Rayna swung her arms around and blew heavily. She'd tried processing all that had happened in the last half hour but everything inside of her was racing too fast, twisting and tangling into a mess she feared she wouldn't be able to undo. Different emotions overtook her heart and mind as she walked. Fear. Confusion. Anger. Frustration. Dread. She tried shaking Teddy's words from her head, spinning in circles in the hope that it'd do some good. It didn't work, if anything, it just made her dizzy. Why the hell had he done that? Rayna looked down at her sweaty palms and wiped them on her jeans. She suddenly felt claustrophobic and her eyes darted in every which direction. She needed to get out of the house. She needed to breathe.
Rayna broke into a jog, swiftly pulling the sliding door to the patio open. She didn't stop jogging until she collapsed at the pool edge. Rayna pulled her knees up under her chin and whatever resolve she'd been holding onto disappeared. Her breathing settled but the tears came, falling silently as she stared out at the water. A sudden chill tore through her body, and she pulled her knees closer to her chest.
"Baby, it's cold. What're you doin' out here?" Deacon asked, his tone filled with concern as he walked down the steps towards her. He had gone home like Rayna had asked, but he'd only made it to the front door of his house before he turned around and hopped back in his car. He didn't feel right about leaving her alone and he knew he'd been right to come back when she wouldn't answer her phone. Deacon had knocked, called her name and gotten no reply when he'd finally gone inside. He'd searched the whole house looking for her and gotten worried when he couldn't find her. He was walking to his car when he caught sight of the open door to the patio. Relief had filled his body when he had seen her sitting by the pool. "Rayna?"
Rayna quickly wiped her face with her sleeve, and she straightened her posture when she heard his footsteps draw closer. She cleared her throat and threw him a smile before looking out at the pool. "Hey, I was gonna call-"
"Are you cryin'?" Deacon interjected. He sat down beside her, worry crossing his face as he tried to get her to look at him. "Darlin'-"
"I'm fine, Teddy came over to pick up the girls for some fundraiser thing-"
"Ray, you're not fine. I know when you're fine...and this isn't you bein' fine. What happened with Teddy? What'd he say to you?"
"Basically," Rayna exhaled and ran a hand through her hair. "He doesn't want you anywhere near the girls, especially Maddie."
"Seriously?" Deacon looked at her incredulously. "Ray, that's crazy."
"He thinks it's better for Maddie not to know the truth...about..." Rayna struggled to find the words she needed.
"...me." Deacon finished the sentence quietly, swallowing the weight of Rayna's words.
"You." Rayna nodded. "That's what he wants."
Deacon rubbed his hands together and looked up at the sky. He'd expected Teddy to be angry about his relationship with Rayna, but he should've known that Teddy would pull something like this too. Deacon never thought it was possible to despise that man any more than he already did, but somehow, sitting here, he did. They sat quietly for a long while.
"What do you want?" Deacon whispered.
Rayna looked at him, pain and confusion clouding her eyes. "I want what's best for Maddie."
He nodded quickly, hiding the hurt from the blow of those words.
"But I also want what's best for you, best for us," she continued, reaching out for his hand.
"I want that too." Deacon replied, relief flooding his insides as he squeezed her hand. He didn't want to lose her, couldn't lose her, not again. "I wanna be there for her, and you, if you want me to be."
"The biggest mistake, my biggest regret..." Rayna shift her position to look at him. Her voice broke. "Deacon, it's not telling you that you had a daughter sooner. You missed out on so much of her life, so many moments that a parent deserves to experience...And I can't do anythin' for you to get that back. I hate myself for it-"
"Shhh," Deacon shook his head. "Don't do that to yourself."
"I can't help it,"
"Stop, you hear? There's no good that can come from thinkin' about all of that."
Rayna nodded, instinctively collapsing into his arms when he opened them to her. "I want her to know you...really know you. Babe, I want that."
Deacon kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer to his body.
"But for now, I think we need to wait and take it one day at a time...If you're okay with that?"
"I've waited thirteen years," he joked as he ran his fingers through her hair. "I'm sure a little while longer ain't gonna hurt anyone."
"Thank you," Rayna mumbled against his neck before resting her head on his shoulder.
He chuckled before taking on a sarcastic tone. "I also don't care much for gettin' in the way of the mayors wishes-"
"Oh, ok," Rayna scoffed, slapping his chest as she looked up at him. "You're full of it! You and I both know you love doin' the complete opposite of what the mayor wants."
"Mmmmm,"
"Wanna know the one good thing that came out of tonight?" Rayna smirked, running her hand up and down his chest. "Teddy finally knows that you are I are-"
"Doin' this?" Deacon caught her off guard by finishing the sentence and leaning in to kiss her strong and hard. Rayna responded quickly, wrapping her hands around his neck. He deepened the kiss as he pulled her closer.
She giggled and pulled away to gesture at their mouths. "I was actually talkin' about what comes after this."
Deacon raised his eyebrows as a smirk spread across his lips. "What comes after this?"
"What comes after this?" Rayna grinned as she stood up slowly. She began to walk backwards towards the house. "Hmmm, I don't know, babe," Her eyes were set on his as she began to unbutton her shirt. "I don't know."
Deacon's face broke into a grin as he scrambled to find his feet. "I might have a good idea about how it's supposed to go."
"Is that right?" Rayna cocked her head as she undid the last button.
"Oh, yeah."
"Well, what are you waitin' for?"