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Chapter Thirteen.
Morgan refused to let me walk back to the room by myself, his excuse was he was worried that I would get blood on everything I touched and he wasn't going to pay the bill to get it cleaned. I knew it was more the fact he wanted to make sure I didn't have some kind of breakdown like I did in the police station, which was very sweet of him, unnecessary but sweet.
"Well this is me…" I stopped outside my hotel room and pulled out the key, swiping it before I went to grab the handle but Morgan beat me to it. "My hands do work you know."
"I know." He replied as he pushed open the door, allowing me to walk in and straight into the bathroom.
"You don't need to hang around." I called from the bathroom, my hands twisting on the shower. "That's me being polite by the way." I stuck my head out into the room and he smirked, nodding slowly.
"I've got to meet back up with the team anyway. Are you going to be alright here?" He looked at me with those concerned eyes of his and I nodded, currently the only thing I feel right now is numb and that's fine with me.
"I'll be fine so go." I gave him a stern look and he raised his hands palm up.
"Okay I'm going." He moved past me and stopped in the open door way. "I'll check in with you later." Before I could tell him that wasn't necessary he closed the door, leaving me to the sound of the soft hum of the air conditioning and the shower.
I turned around, walking in front of the mirror to look at myself. I looked horrendous, my hair was streaked with the boys blood, it was all over the front of my shirt and all down my arms and hands. That poor boy didn't get a chance because of a father that lost control, they don't know anger like we do at their age and if he does pull through… that moment will stay with him for the rest of his life. I closed my eyes for a moment as I pulled off my clothes, a deep sigh escaping me before I stepped under the warm spray of water, watching as it turned red. I didn't just feel physically drained on this case, I felt emotionally drained. Everything that's happened, the memories it's brought back… I felt like I've just used everything in the tank.
Once I'd finished scrubbing off all the blood I turned off the shower, my hand grabbing the soft complimentary towel off the radiator and wrapping around my body. "I'm so tired…" I whispered to myself, walking to the bed and falling into it, my face being absorbed into the incredibly soft pillow. "I could just have a small nap…" I muttered as my mouth stretched open into a yawn. My hands reaching down and grabbing the blanket to drape it over me. Just twenty minutes, that's all I need.
My phone buzzing on the side table woke me up rather abruptly, my eyes trying to adjust to the faint light in the room. "What time is it?" I fumbled for my phone as it finished ringing, my eyes looking at the clock. "Damn…" I slept for three hours and honestly I could've gone for longer. I got up, walking to my suitcase and grabbing a pair or jogging bottoms and a loose t-shirt. I wanted to head up to the hospital, I needed to make sure that kid was alright.
As I went to grab my purse I heard two knocks on the door. I wasn't sure who could be up at this time, I've already read the message from Morgan saying he was going straight to bed. My hand gripped the handle and I opened the door, seeing Agent Hotchner standing in the doorway.
"Sir…?" I looked at him with a confused expression, my head peaking into the hall to see if anyone else was with him.
"Clara… I have some news." He looked back at me, his face more gloomy than usual.
"Come in." I stepped to the side and he strode in, my hand shutting the door quietly behind him. "What's wrong? I was just about to head up to the hospital to see the boy."
Hotchner looked at me and he shook his head. "I'm sorry Clara but he didn't make it…"
For the hundredth time in the past few days my heart sank, I couldn't even move – my body just froze.
"The bleeding was too severe and if that didn't kill him they said the infection would have." He took a step towards me and my eyes just filled with tears.
"He was alone in there… I was going to go up and see him so he had someone around but I fell asleep." I bit my lip, moving my hand to swipe away a falling tear. "He died without anyone around him…"
Hotchner reaches out to me and I took a step away from him, my hand searching out for the handle behind my back. "I need some fresh air. I need some time to… to process this."
"Of course… Clara this wasn't your fault, it wasn't your responsibility to look after that boy."
"It wasn't my responsibility?" I paused and looked back at him. "He had nobody. He may not have been my responsibility but someone should have been by his bedside, he was probably so frightened…"
"You can't think about that, we stopped the killer…"
I cut him off, shouting back at him. "And that makes all this okay?! So well done we stopped the killer, but what about the kids who don't have parents and the boy that died in hospital probably thinking that no one gave a shit!" I shook my head, more tears falling, my body twisting to storm out of my own hotel room.
That monster of a man got to murder innocent people and then he killed his own child? I screamed internally – my blood boiling with anger. When I stepped outside I took in a few deep breaths, my eyes locking on to the bar across the street. "One won't hurt." I walked across the street, pushing my way through the door and grabbing the closest stool to the bar.
"You look like hell." The Bar man whose face was engraved with age looked at me, his curly grey hair bouncing as he moved down to lean closer to me. "What can I get you sweetheart."
"Vodka... and leave the bottle."