First I want to say thank you to everyone for reading this story and a bigger thank you those who left a review, you all ROCK! THANK YOU.
Second I want to personally thank my chum for all her help ;) You are the best!
Thirdly here is the next chapter, I hope you all enjoy it ;)
ooOoo
As Joseph stood in the doorway of the bedroom, watching Clarisse and Lena as they lay snuggled together he sighed sadly, remembering that not so long ago it was him and Clarisse that used to snuggle before having to get up. He really did miss waking up beside her, holding her and sharing a morning kiss with her, even more so today of all days, because today is Valentines Day.
Slowly he made his way over and shook Lena's arm to awake her, trying hard not to wake Clarisse "Lena?" He whispered.
"5 more minutes Daddy," Lena whispered and snuggled more into Clarisse.
"Lena come on you need to get up for school." Joseph whispered as Lena let out a small groan.
"I don't want to get up yet Daddy," She whispered and slowly opened her eyes.
"Come on please before we wake Mommy up." Joseph whispered.
"To late," Clarisse yawned while opening her eyes "Already awake." She said watching as they both looked at her "Lena please be good."
"I'm sorry," She answered while sitting up, then lent over Clarisse while putting her hand on the pillow next to her head "Happy Valentines day Momma, I love you." She whispered and kissed her.
"And to you sweetheart." Clarisse kissed her back then watched her do the same to Joseph.
"Ok come on you, go and get dressed and come down for breakfast after ok?" Joseph said as she climbed of the bed.
"Ok Daddy," She smiled running out the room as Clarisse sat up and looked at Joseph as he looked back at her.
"I have already eaten, but once I've sorted Lena's breakfast out, would you like me to bring you up something?" He asked.
"No thank you, I don't really feel hungry." She said looking at him.
"You've hardly eaten over this last month Clarisse, your gonna end up really sick and in hospital soon." He said as she just looked at him "Ok Ok, I am keeping my mouth shut now." He said walking over to the door "See you later." He said pulling up the door as he walked out.
Clarisse lay back down and stared at the ceiling for a few moments before getting herself up, showered and dressed. Heading downstairs once she was ready, she grabbed some coffee and headed to her office to start her paper work.
Walking in to find Charlotte already there sorting out her paper work.
"Good morning Your Majesty," Charlotte smiled and watched her sit behind her desk.
"What is on the agenda today?" Clarisse asked while slipping on her glasses.
"Just paper work, Pierre has gone to the meeting this morning and will hop across town for you this afternoon." She smiled looking at her.
"Wonderful, thank you Charlotte." She said picking up her pen "As I am going through all this can you make sure I'm not disturbed by anyone." She said looking at her as someone knocked on the open door.
"Not even me?" Came a voice as they both looked over at her.
"Well good morning darling," Clarisse smiled as Erica made her way over to her "Of course I don't mind you disturbing me," She smiled standing up and hugged her "Happy Birthday darling." She smiled and kissed her cheek "I have a gift for you, I will get it you a bit later." She said stepping back "You are sticking around aren't you?"
"Of course," Erica nodded as Charlotte left them "I am staying here a few days remember?" She asked.
"Of course you are," Clarisse nodded and looked at her "I am worried about you, is everything ok?" She said putting her hands up, cupping Erica's face.
"I am fine, I'm more worried about you Mom, Daddy said you didn't have breakfast again this morning. Are you trying to get sick?" Erica asked while putting her hand on her hip.
"No," Clarisse said shaking her head while moving and sat back down "I just don't feel hungry and I'm not going to force myself to eat something when I'm not hungry," She said looking up at her then down at her paper work.
"Why do you have to be so stubborn?" She said walking over to the door as Clarisse looked up "You are going to have a bit of birthday cake at least?" She asked while looking over at her.
"We will see," Clarisse said while looking at her over her glasses then looked back down at her paper work.
"It's always we will see, now I know where Aimie get's that from." She laughed a little and waved while leaving the room, pulling up the door behind her.
She tried to focus on the paper work, she really did. But she just couldn't bring herself to do it, so taking of her glasses and placed them down on the desk she slumped back in the chair, resting her head back with a sigh, deciding she just wasn't in the mood for all this today.
After a few minutes she stood up and walked over to the window, where she stood staring out at the gardens for a short time before heading to the kitchen, walking in she realized everyone had stopped talking, as she stopped and looked around the table.
"That was obvious you were all talking about me." She said and carried on, getting a cup and moved near the coffee pot.
"We were only saying how worried we all are about you," Joseph said while looking over at her, pouring the coffee.
"Yes so you keep telling me." She said while shaking her head then took a sip of her coffee while putting the pot down "Don't worry, I'm going now so you can all carry on." She said heading over to the door.
"Mom?" Erica exclaimed as Clarisse stopped "It's my birthday, please stay." She whispered as Clarisse looked over at her "Please?" She nodded slowly.
After a few seconds she turned and carried on out the door and headed back to her office.
"Maybe later she might join us." Joseph whispered while rubbing Erica's arm.
"I hate seeing her like this, just when we think were getting a break through, something goes wrong." She sighed while looking at him "I just want her back, I want Mom back." She said almost crying.
"I know sweetheart," Joseph whispered while moving and sat beside her "We all want that." He added while putting his arm around her shoulders.
"Why don't you take her away for a few days? Maybe it would help and do her the world of good?" Cara asked.
"I wish it was that easy," Joseph started while looking at her "She doesn't even like me touching her at the moment." He added while nodding slowly.
"Your not going to break up are you?" Rose asked as everyone looked at Joseph.
"No chance!" Joseph exclaimed "I know one day we will get past all this and things will return to normal, we just need to give it time." He added as they all nodded slowly.
Clarisse placed her hand on the door while looking at it, her heart breaking even more. She knew she was hurting everyone but she just couldn't get past the hurt herself. Slowly she turned and walked back to her office, where she just sat for a couple hours.
Walking through the gardens trying to relax, thinking back at how she had treated Joseph and her family over the last few months. She knew she couldn't continue like this but she felt overwhelmingly guilty and every time she closed her eyes she relived the nightmare over again. As she made her way towards the gazebo she saw her daughter kissing someone, clearing her throat she was surprised when Erica turned around.
"Erica?" She exclaimed looking at Shades then back to Erica.
"It's not what you think Mom."
"Really? Because I think it looks exactly like what I am thinking, you are kissing Shades while you are still married none the less." Clarisse answered while putting her hands together behind her back and looked over at Shades "Can you leave us, please?" Clarisse asked and watched as he looked over at Erica as she nodded, with a nod himself Shades took his leave.
"Mom I can explain," She started while running her hand through her hair as Clarisse moved to sit on the bench with her "The truth is, me and Tom aren't together anymore." She said looking at her.
"Since when?" Clarisse exclaimed while looking at her in surprise.
"Since before..." She shrugged a little while looking down, not wanting to say the words then looked up "Since before you went to New York to see Daddy last year."
"I see." Clarisse nodded while looking at her.
"We've been having problems for a long time, we broke up months and months ago but remained living together for the sake of the children." She said looking at her "But we are getting a divorce now."
"Your getting divorced and you didn't think to tell me?" Clarisse exclaimed while looking at her "Does your Father know?" She asked as Erica shook her head "I know you couldn't tell me, but you could of talked to your Father about this?"
"I wanted to, I wanted too so much but after what happened I decided not to yet," Erica whispered "I didn't want to add to your troubles." She added while looking at her "I'm sorry I didn't tell you or Daddy, your not upset are you?" She asked.
"I'm not upset Erica, just surprised that's all." Clarisse answered while looking at her "Are you happy?" She asked "I know you've had a smile on your face that's been missing for a long time, which really shows you are happy," She said taking her hand "But are you really happy inside?"
"I am, Shades makes me very happy, something I have missed for a very long time." Erica answered.
"Then ok," She said tilting her head a little and looked at her "I'm not sure what your Dad is going to say after all Shades is his best friend." Clarisse said looking at her "But if your happy then ok, I support you and I am sure when your Father finds out he will support you too." She said looking at her.
"You're really okay with this?" Erica whispered.
"Yes," She nodded "At least someone around here is happy." She said with a touch of sadness in her voice while looking at her roses.
"Mom are you okay? I mean I see the way when Daddy tries to touch you, you move away from him and you have been kind of snappy with him, and everyone else."
"I'm fine sweetheart." Clarisse whispered while looking down.
"Mom? You're not fine, we are all concerned about you, have been since it happened." Erica whispered as Clarisse looked up at her "If you need to talk I'm here for you." She whispered while rubbing her back.
Sighing deeply while looking down "I just can't get the thoughts of that day out of my head." She whispered as a tear slipped down her cheek "I long for your father to hold me, to kiss me... To make love to me." She whispered as Erica looked up at her "But the fear is just to much and I end up pushing him away." She added while wiping the tears away.
Wrapping her arm around her shoulders "I know that I don't know all the details of what happened but I do know that you have to trust Daddy, he isn't Michael, Mom. Daddy will never hurt you like that he loves you and nothing will ever change that no matter what Michael did." She whispered as Clarisse looked up at her "You need to get over the fear Mom, Daddy is not that man." She said cupping her cheek and wiped away her stray tears "Let Daddy replace him and let his love for you replace the fear." She said resting her forehead against the side of Clarisse's head as she put her hand up cupping Erica's cheek.
"It's easier said than done." Clarisse whispered.
"You have to try Mom, if you can't get past this, then Michael has won, you would have given him exactly what he wanted." Erica whispered as Clarisse looked back at her.
"You're right," Clarisse nodded and looked at her roses "I heard you all talking earlier, in the kitchen."
"Oh," Erica whispered.
"We won't break up, don't worry." Clarisse said looking back at her "Thank you for the talk and I am truly happy for you and Shades." She half smiled.
"Thank you Mom." She smiled and gave her one more hug and whispered in her ear "I'm here for you, remember that." She stood up as Clarisse nodded and watched her walk away.
As she sat alone she let her mind wonder thinking back over the conversation she had with her Dad on Christmas day. She knew that Joseph didn't blame her but she couldn't get over the pain she felt every time he touched her but she also knew that Erica and her Father were right she needed to talk to someone and that someone had to be Joseph.
Heading back to the Palace a short time later she sat down to dinner with the family. After they were finished they all enjoyed some of Erica's birthday cake before they all started heading out.
"Right," Pierre smiled while standing up "As much as I love being here, I need to get going myself." He kissed Clarisse's cheek "See you tomorrow?" He said while standing up and looked down at her.
"You will," She smiled up at him "See you tomorrow." She added and watched him walk out as Rose stood up "Rose can you stay behind I need to talk to you about something?"
"Of course." Rose smiled and sat back down as Joseph stood up.
"Come on you," He smiled tickling Lena "Let's go and make a start on your homework, or you won't be going to the movie's with Rose tonight." He smiled as Lena stood up and ran out the room.
"You're taking her to the movies?" Clarisse asked while looking at Rose.
"Yeah, I promised her last week that I would take her on Thursday, forgetting that today is Valentines day." She smiled as Clarisse laughed a little "And I didn't want to let her down." She smiled.
"Well she's pretty excited." Joseph smiled over at them as he put his hands on the back of the chair.
"I know, that's why I didn't want to let her down." Rose smiled over at him.
"Well I best go and help her so she can go then." He smiled and walked out as Clarisse rested her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands while looking over at Rose.
"What did you want to talk to me about?" She asked as the maids came in.
"Just a moment." She said looking at her then watched the maids cleaning up the dinner stuff.
After they left Clarisse talked to Rose then headed to her suite where they stayed for the next hour. Heading to find Joseph and Lena a short time later while Rose headed down to let Maxwell know that they were nearly ready to leave.
When she found them in the library, she stood with her arms folded leaning against the door frame for a few moments and couldn't help but smile at the sight before her.
Clearing her throat causing the pair to look up as she slowly walked into the room.
"Mommy, you've changed your hair?" Lena exclaimed.
"I have." Clarisse nodded "Do you like it? Do you think it suits me?" She asked while looking at her then looked at Joseph as he looked at Lena.
"I do," Lena smiled "I love it and I think it suits you." Lena smiled while looking at Joseph "What about you Daddy?" She asked.
"I love it too." He smiled at her then at Clarisse.
"Thank you." Clarisse smiled "Are you nearly done here? As Rose is waiting?"
"Yes I am," Lena smiled and hugged Joseph before rushing over to Clarisse "I love you both."
"We love you too." Joseph smiled while watching her and Clarisse hugging "Enjoy your movie."
"Thank you." She smiled.
"Go and get your coat, Rose is waiting downstairs." Clarisse smiled while cupping her face "See you later?" She smiled and kissed her forehead.
"Bye, I love you." Lena smiled and hurried out the room as Clarisse stood up straight and turned to Joseph.
"Is everything ok?" He asked while putting Lena's homework away.
"May I speak with you?" Clarisse asked while putting her hands together behind her back.
"Sure," He nodded while looking over at her "Did you want to talk in your office?" He asked while standing up and walked around to her.
"No, we can go to the suite." She answered while looking at him.
"Ok." He nodded.
Reaching over she took his hand in hers as they silently made their way down the long corridor, her actions both surprised and touched Joseph. He had hoped that she would want to talk about what was bothering her. Entering the suite she moved them over to the couch, Joseph took a seat but Clarisse stood pacing the floor. He knew she was searching for the right words so he remained silent until she found them.
"Joseph I'm so so sorry that I have let this incident come between us and affect us so deeply…" She stopped when he interrupted.
"Clarisse.." He started but stopped when she interrupted him while shaking her head.
"No Joseph, please just let me say this then you can respond." She whispered as he nodded his head "Thank you," She nodded and took a deep breath "I wanted it to be and I told myself every day that when I got home everything would be fine again, except it wasn't," She said wiping a tear from her cheek "For the first couple of weeks I blamed myself for letting it happen I felt like I have broken your trust and every time you touched me no matter how innocent, the events from that day came flooding back and all I could feel were his hands on me and his mouth kissing me not yours and then as time went on those memories were replaced with inadequacy, I felt like you wouldn't want me and that I didn't deserve you because now I'm just damaged goods." She said her tears falling more freely "I don't know how to fix us Joseph but I know that I love you and need you and I hope that you still love me." She whispered as Joseph stood up and stood in front of her, putting his hands up, cupping her cheeks while wiping away her tears with his thumbs.
"First I want you to know that I still love you nothing will ever change that Clarisse. I love you more today than I did when we got married, my love for you continues to grow each and every day." He nodded while looking deep in her eyes "I knew that you were dealing with things emotionally and I didn't want to push you, I was hoping that eventually you would talk to me or at least to someone about the way you were feeling. I need you to know that you are NOT to blame for what he did and I know that you wouldn't have willingly allowed him to touch you like that." He said smiling when she closed her eyes and pressed against his hand "I'm sorry I wasn't here with you, I'm sorry that all of this happened you didn't deserve this, no one deserves that. I love you and I need you too Clarisse." He whispered as she opened her eyes and looked at him.
Leaning forward she placed a kiss on his lips only to pull back to stare into his eyes seconds later "Make love to me Joseph." She whispered.
"Are you sure?" He asked as she stepped closer to him.
"I have never felt so sure about anything in my whole life." She whispered while taking his hand, and turned leading him through to the bedroom.
After getting undressed they both lay on the bed sharing a couple kisses as Joseph ran his hand down her side and up her thigh as she rested it against his hip. Moving so he was kneeling between her legs as they shared a deep heated kiss, smiling as Clarisse moved her hands onto the sides of his head.
Breaking the kiss seconds later he looked into her eyes as she slowly nodded "Are you sure?" He whispered "As I can wait, I don't want to rush or hurt you." He added.
"Please Joseph," She whispered between kisses while moving one hand onto the back of his head "Please do this." She added while resting her head back down.
"You promise me that if it gets to much you will tell me?" He asked, worried that it will scare and hurt her.
"I promise," She whispered while smiling up at him "But that won't happen." She said and kissed him a couple times before watching him look down between their bodies, feeling him against her she closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip as he looked back up at her face, burying himself deep within her as she brought her legs up and rested them against his hips.
"Clari?" Joe whispered and watched her open her eyes, staring into them for a few seconds while moving his arms on the bed beside her shoulders, smiling down at her as she put her hands up onto the back of his arms.
"I love you so much." She whispered and kissed him while moving her hands onto his back.
"I love you too," He whispered against her cheek as she closed her eyes and turned her head away for a few seconds as he began thrusting slowly then stopped "You're not ok with this Clari, I'm going to stop." He whispered as she opened her eyes and looked at him.
"No please don't," She said moving her hands up and cupped his face "Please don't." She added "I will be fine once we get going," She said between kisses "Please," She whispered against his lips then rested her head down.
"But your not ok Clarisse, and I really don't want to hurt you." He whispered while resting his forehead against hers.
"Your not hurting me I promise." She said looking up into his eyes "I promise you." She watched as he slowly nodded "Thank you." She whispered and kissed him as they tried again.
After a slow start she finally managed to get past the fear. Laying content in each others arms a while later, with Clarisse snuggled up to Joseph with her head resting on his chest and her arm extended around his waist, smiling as he gently ran his fingers in circles over the back of her shoulder.
"I was thinking." Clarisse said while lifting her head and smiled up at Joe as he looked down at her "How about tomorrow we go out for lunch?"
"Really?" He asked as she nodded "That sounds lovely, it's about time we got you out of this Palace." He smiled and kissed her.
"That's what I thought." She said resting her head back down while taking hold of his hand and locked her fingers with his "It's about time I start doing a lot of things I have stopped doing." She said lifting her head again and rested her chin down on his chest.
"Take it slow though, don't rush everything at one time as it will freak you out." He whispered while moving his hand onto the back of her head, his fingers tangled in her hair.
"Don't worry, I won't rush everything." She smiled and kissed his chest while moving her hand up his side as she slowly crawled on top of him.
"What are you doing?" He asked surprised by her actions while lifting his head to look at her.
"I'm taking things slow." She replied as the corner of her lips turned up slightly before covering his mouth with hers, placing her hands on the bed beside his shoulders, smiling against his lips when she felt his hands on her sides then looked at him as he removed them "What's wrong?" She asked, studying his face "Don't be scared to touch me Joe, I want you to touch me like you used too." She said and started kissing him slowly, giggling against his lips as he placed his hands back on her sides and slowly ran them over her back "Much better." She smiled while sitting back on his thighs, the whole time Joe keeping an eye on her.
After a few moments of stroking his manhood and not taking her eyes from Joseph's she moved forward, raising herself while keeping her hand down holding him, guiding him as she lowered herself on top of him, gasping as he filled her.
"God you're so beautiful." Joseph whispered as she looked down at him, smiling as she took his hands in hers and locked her fingers with his as she began circling her hips, making them both moan.
Leaning forward seconds later, letting go of his hands as they shared a kiss. The kiss was fiery from the beginning the passion that had been ignored in each of them for the past several months finally finding an outlet.
"Joseph." She moaned, as his hands began to roam over her body "Oh Joseph."
"God I've missed this " He whispered as he allowed her to set the pace, thoroughly enjoying her ministrations as he watched her body moving over his.
Meanwhile Rose and Lena had returned from the movie, and as Rose went back to her suite Lena headed down the hall to her parents suite to say goodnight. Standing outside the door just as she was about to knock she heard her Mother's voice moaning and repeating her Daddy's name over and over, a huge smile spread across her face as she turned and hurried to Rose's room.
Giggling she burst into her sister room jumping on her bed "She going to be alright!" she exclaimed while jumping up and down.
"Who? What are you talking about?" Rose exclaimed while grabbing her hands "Calm down Lena, Who is going to be alright?" She asked as Lena giggled.
"Momma, I heard her and Daddy moments ago!" Lena smiled.
"What did you hear?" Rose asked, raising her eyebrow at her.
"Rosie come on really?! I heard them doing it, I knew everything would be fine!" Lena exclaimed while pulling her arms free and started jumping up and down again.
"Really? Are you sure? She hasn't let Daddy so much as touch her, I really don't think she would be doing that." Rose questioned as Lena stopped and put her hands on her hips.
"I know what I heard." Lena said firmly as Rose started laughing.