Disclaimer: AilateH nwo t'nod eW! (Or Best I Ever Had)
A/N: Hey, everyone!
Well, here we are, the end. But that doesn't mean it's the end. Don't worry, we're still going strong. We'd like to thank all of you for hanging with us during this story. And since we forgot to do it in the last chapter:
Castor and Pollux are proud to present the final installment of a Game of Wars.
Enjoy! Please review!
Peace on Earth
Italy sat at the kitchen table, reading the news of her country on a laptop. The house was quiet, Hovedstaden playing in her bedroom, when the sound of pounding feet suddenly filled the hall. Denmark appeared, tearing down the staircase and vaulting himself over the banister to stumble over to the table. He grabbed a surprised Italy's coffee mug and downed the caffeinated drink as quickly as he could. He choked on the hot drink and slammed the mug down, wheezing for breath.
"Denny?" Italy leapt out of her chair, waving her hands in the air. "What's wrong? Are you okay? Did you swallow a bug?"
"I didn't swallow a bug," Denmark said hoarsely. He sank into a chair, resting his forehead on his hand and breathing deeply.
"Did Hovedstaden punch you again?" Italy asked worriedly, remembering the time Hovedstaden had punched as high as she could. It hadn't been very high, but had managed to land Denmark on the coach for several hours.
Denmark only shook his head in response. He closed his eyes tightly and tried to stifle a cough.
"Did Romano punch you?" Italy cocked her head. "Big Brother has been in a bad mood lately. He needs hug therapy."
"Romano didn't punch me," Denmark said. "I can't breathe."
"Cosa?" Italy's eyes widened with realization and she started panicking again. "Why not? Did I do something? Can I do something? Where's you inhaler?"
"My what?" Denmark's jaw dropped, his eyes wide. "How do you know about inhalers?"
"Denny." Italy sat in her husband's lap and rested her head on his shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me you had asthma?"
"Because I didn't want ta scare ya," Denmark sighed. "I thought you would start having panic attacks or something."
Italy frowned up at Denmark. "Why would I do that?" she asked. "It's just asthma." Once again, Denmark was speechless. "Denny." Italy pulled back to give Denmark a reprimanding look. "I'm not as stupid as Big Brother says."
"Okay, I wasn't trying ta insult ya or anything." Denmark patted Italy on the head. "I just thought ya would be a bit more panicked is all."
Italy shrugged before looking out the window. "Do you think it's any warmer outside?" she asked, her thoughts straying away from asthma.
"It's springtime in Italy," Denmark replied dryly. "I'm sure it's plenty warm outside."
"Good! Let's go swimming!" Italy jumped to her feet excitedly. "I want to try swimming to Big Brother France again!"
"Nej," Denmark groaned and leaned back, sliding out of the chair to land on the floor.
"But it's so pretty out and I can already feel the water." Italy spun in place, her arms out like a ballerina.
"It's so hot out I'm cooking," Denmark complained. "I want ta go home."
"No, your house is so cold," Italy whined right back. "Besides, it's not even that hot out. The sun will make you feel better!"
"The sun will cook me! Do I look like I can take any at all? I'm from Northern Europe, not Cook-Me-All-Day Italy."
"Aw, you just need a little sun is all." Italy grabbed one of Denmark's hand and yanked. "Your place is just as bad in the winter. I can't move in December."
"Obviously you haven't seen me out in the sun," Denmark muttered.
"Which is what you need!" Italy said happily. "Let's go!"
"I'm not going out if Hovedstaden doesn't," Denmark tried.
"Hovedstaden!" Italy called over her shoulder. "Do you want to go swimming with Mamma?"
"Nuotare! (Swim!)" Two year-old Hovedstaden tottered into the room, chanting the word happily. Italy and Denmark had discovered the hard way Italy's curse had passed on to their children. It hadn't been a bad thing for the married couple, it was just harder to get Hovedstaden out of the water than Italy.
"See?" Italy picked Hovedstaden up and propped her on her hip, turning back to Denmark. "Hovedstaden wants to go swimming."
"My Prinsesse and Dronningen (Queen) say swim," Denmark sighed, propping himself up on his elbows. "So then I must swim."
"Yay!" Italy spun in her spot again. "My Vichingo is coming swimming with us, Hovestaden."
"Vichi!" Hovedstaden cheered. "Vichi!"
o)O(o
Albania leaned against the wall, watching as the nations came together for breakfast. China had called the Asian nations back to his house for a short time while he tried to get his country back in order. It had also brought the spouses and current boyfriends along.
China was caught between trying to convince Australia to put a shirt on and getting Mongolia to listen to him. Indonesia had a look of innocence on her face while her sister was currently missing, a sure recipe for disaster.
"Hong Kong, get off the counter," China snapped at his younger sister. Hong Kong just stuck her tongue out and swung her legs." Australia, it is not that hot out. Put a shirt on." Japan tried to offer a shirt to Australia once more. She had been trying for fifteen minutes. "Mongolia, stop speaking Russian, aru."
"Sdelay menya, (Make me,)" was the reply he got.
"Oz-kun," Japan begged her boyfriend. "Please put the shirt on."
"I don't want to," Australia protested. "I'm more comfortable this way." Taiwan didn't argue with him, as she was too busy marveling at his muscles.
"You will be in trouble again if you are not careful," China warned Mongolia. "Korea, stop throwing food at North Korea!" Korea pouted and put his spoon down. "You and Norway go make babies, aru." Korea's eyes widened and he fell out of his chair. China had given him 'the Talk' two days ago. He still wasn't over and fainted at the sight of Barbie dolls.
Out of nowhere, rice and tofu smacked China in the side of the face. Norway turned back to her breakfast innocently while Iceland was trying to duck under Taiwan's scratching. She had been putting him to sleep for the last two hours for kicks and giggles.
"Aiyah!" China grabbed an ancient bowl from Bauhinia and put it back in its place. "You are all acting like four year-olds. Albania, help me, aru."
"You want to help him?" Vietnam asked from her seat at Albania's feet. After two weeks of therapy, her muscles had healed and Vietnam could move again.
"I could," Albania drawled. "Or I could just sit here and relax."
"Oz-kun!" Japan almost whined. She had pulled the shirt over Australia's head, but the nation refused to put his arms through the sleeves.
"Relax?" Vietnam repeated, looking around the room. "In this?"
Macau walked into the room, saw what was happening, and walked right back out. He clearly didn't want to be part of the morning insanity.
"I've been sitting in silence for so long this is like Heaven for me," Albania said with a grin. "It makes me think of the old days."
"Right, the good old days." Vietnam returned to flipping through the diary South Vietnam had written for her.
"Thailand, aru!" Thailand had thrown food at Taiwan in revenge for the female nation calling him a rather rude name.
"Alright, then." Standing from his chair, Albania entered the kitchen. He returned carrying a glass of ice water and dumped it over Australia's head. The tall nation yelped and fell still, his eyes wide.
"Ey!" Mongolia struggled when Albania grabbed her and shoved her into a chair. He snatched the spoons from Norway and Thailand. Hauling Macau into the room, he dumped him next to Indonesia before grabbing a firework from Bauhinia before she could set it off.
Vietnam watched the whole scene with a quirked eyebrow. She laughed when Hong Kong was pushed into Iceland's lap. The Nordic nation blinked in surprise before flushing brightly. Albania gave him a rub on the head before sitting back down in his chair. He looked at China expectantly as he leaned back.
"Thank you, Albania," China sighed in relief. "I have a headache forming, aru."
"Why don't you try some of your medicine?" Taiwan offered innocently. "What's in it? Rat tail?"
"That would explain why Australia's sick," Albania commented. "He refuses to take medicine."
"Australia is just being immature, aru," China said. Japan had finally managed to force Australia into the shirt.
Norway frowned and reached up to feel Australia's forehead. "Nej." She shook her head. "He has a fever."
"What?" China hurried over to feel Australia's forehead before he started examining the other nation. "Is your economy alright, aru?"
"I'm going home!" Australia tried to stand up quickly but Hong Kong and Taiwan were suddenly hanging off his neck. They forced him back into his chair.
"What's wrong?" Taiwan asked in a sweetly innocent voice.
"It's just Teacher," Hong Kong breathed in Australia's ear. Japan hid her face in her hands.
"The Devil Twins are after me!" Australia struggled against the two females but it was useless. "I'm fine. I don't need medicine."
"Do not worry." China patted Australia on the head before moving for the pantry cupboard. "I have something that will help you, aru."
"I'm built like a brick shithouse," Australia protested. "I'm fine. I don't need medicine."
"Oz-kun," Japan whispered. "There is no point in fighting. They will win either way."
Vietnam laughed under her breath, shaking her head. "They don't get it, do they?" she said.
"Get what?" Albania looked down at Vietnam in confusion. "That Australia is in fact an entire continent?"
"No." Vietnam cupped her mouth with a hand so the others wouldn't hear her. "China's all out of ingredients."
Thailand scooped himself another serving of rice. Macau frowned when the other nation poured spice on the rice. Too much spice, in the Chinese nation's opinion.
China turned back from the panty, his hands tucked into his sleeves. "North Korea, I need a glass of water, aru," he said. The other nation obeyed, doing everything with his left hand. His right hand was still sore from the bad burn.
"Thank you." China took the glass of water and turned to Australia. "Open, aru."
"No, I'm good." Australia tried to shove Taiwan off himself and practically gaged when Bauhinia wrapped her arms around his neck. Two pills were popped into his mouth followed by a mouthful of water.
"And swallow, aru." Australia made a face as if to spit the water and pills out.
Hong Kong clamped a hand over Australia's mouth. "Uh-uh," she warned. "We'll just do this all over again." Australia sighed and swallowed, closing his eye tightly and looking as if he was taking bad medicine.
"Honestly," China huffed as he turned back to the rice cooker. "Even the children of Westerners are bad. It is just Tylenol, aru."
o)O(o
Russia opened the front door to find Germany standing on the front step. He blinked in surprise, checked the clock, and looked back to Germany.
"It is half pat ten o'clock, da?" Russia said to Germany who nodded. The Slavic nation was even more surprised when he saw Austria, Prussia, and Switzerland hurrying up the front path. "What are you all doing here?"
"The wedding is tomorrow," Switzerland said, as though Russia was being an idiot.
"Da, I now that," Russia said slowly. "I thought it was bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding."
"Ja, that is American's tradition," Germany said grimly.
"We Germans have an awesome tradition too!" Prussia crowed, making Australia flinch. He was going to wake up half the neighborhood if he wasn't careful.
"Do we have to do this?" Austria asked nervously. "I'm a bit worried about Russia trying to kill us."
"Do what?" Russia asked curiously, wondering in the back of his mind if he should get his pipe.
"It's a tradition," Switzerland snapped at Austria. "Can we just get this over with?" He glared at Germany.
"Ja." Germany stepped past Russia and let his brothers in.
"What are you doing, Little Germany?" Russia asked. He watched Prussia wander into the living room warily.
"There is a German tradition," Germany sighed. Switzerland led Austria into the kitchen. "Of the guests of the wedding visiting the bride's house and breaking a porcelain object."
"Chto?" Russia asked in shock. He looked around worriedly for Germany's brothers. "There are not more coming, da?"
"Nein." Germany shook his head. "We thought it would be best if just the four of us came."
"Why would you break porcelain? They are very valuable."
"It's for good luck," Germany explained. He flinched when he heard something shatter on the ground. "East?" he shouted.
"Ja, don't worry," Prussia called back. "It wasn't glass."
"Are we done here?" Switzerland demanded as he and Austria reentered the hall. Germany nodded. "Gut, I don't like leaving Bel alone with Liechtenstein and Luxemburg. She lets those two sit in a room together."
"God forbid Liechtenstein should get any action," Prussia said as he and the three other Germanic brothers left.
Russia stood in the hallway, staring at the wall in shock. As quickly as they had come, the groom and his brothers were gone.
o)O(o
Poland's and Germany's wedding ceremony ran smoothly enough without any complaints from England. Russia was still in a daze from the previous night and could hardly pay attention. After the ceremony was completed, Germany hadn't been too pleased when several coins had been thrown at him and Poland by the guests. Prussia had laughed at him for being chained ankle-to-ankle with Poland and had proceeded to throw an iron paperweight at his brother's head.
The wedding party afterward? That was a completely different story.
"Please, Dad?" Wisconsin hung off America's arm. Her father looked away, trying to ignore the Midwest's pleading. Only Minnesota seemed adverse to the idea.
"Here." Morocco held out a glass of vodka to America. "Don't drink it just yet."
"Thanks." America took the glass, holding it out of Wisconsin's' reach.
"Hey, we need all of you to shut up!" Prussia shouted. Germany groaned, a bag of peas held against the side of his head. "Danke. Go ahead, Lithuania."
Lithuania stood, holding a flute of vodka. "As the bride's groom of honor." He looked pointedly at Poland who just smiled. "I just wanted to give a toast to the happy couple. May their love live, die, and be reborn." He hesitated for a split second before throwing the vodka back into his mouth. Prussia cheered when the Baltic nation bent over, coughing at the burning alcohol.
Poland grinned and threw vodka back easily. The Nordic nations seemed to be in the largest amount of shock before Denmark stood up, holding his glass hide.
"Skål!" he shouted, joined by the other Nordics, and threw back his vodka.
"Fine!" America rounded on the begging Midwest. "But just. This. Once."
"Yes!" Wisconsin punched the air, turning to her siblings. "Get the vodka, this party's rolling!" Michigan, the Dakotas, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Missouri, Nebraska, and Ohio all cheered. Minnesota still looked nervous. But once her siblings handed her a bottle of vodka, she seemed to loosen up.
An hour and a half later, Minnesota and Wisconsin were physically fighting over who had the better, and more interesting, history. Wisconsin had managed to bring out her sister's inner Viking. The Dakotas were trying to figure out who would be in control if they merged to form one state. Indiana and Kanas were trying to see who the fastest runner was, Indiana making racecar sounds the whole way. Iowa was moping around that nobody loved him. Missouri, Nebraska, and Ohio were singing 'Shots' while taking as many alcoholic drinks as they could.
"Well, I have good news and bad news," Morocco said with a small smile.
"And what's that?" America asked, pinching the bridge of his nose. Indiana ran past, making a rather loud screeching sound. The rest of the nations were watching the Midwest in shock. They now understood why America never let his kids get drunk.
"There's only one or two more days of the party," Morocco said.
"Jaegerbombs!" Ohio shouted at the top of his lungs, throwing his glass of vodka back.
"What's the good news?" America asked.
"Lemon Drops!" Wisconsin screeched from beneath Minnesota.
"Buttery Nipples!" Illinois had started jugging vodka bottles through the air. Estonia pulled Latvia away.
"Kamikaze," Iowa moaned, nursing his own glass of alcohol.
"Three Wise Men!" Minnesota swung her own bottle of vodka through the air. "Shots!"
"That was the good news," Morocco admitted.
"And the bad news?" America grabbed Indiana by the back of his shirt to stop him from colliding with Slovakia.
"Screech!" Indiana imitated the sound before making an explosion sound. "Car down! Car down! It's on fire!"
"I'm pregnant!" Morocco shouted to be heard over her screaming son. Every Midwestern state turned to their parents. America paled.
"Babe, you couldn't have waited for a time when they weren't all plastered?" he asked, nodding to his children.
"Dad banged Mom!" Wisconsin shouted and Minnesota whooped.
"Good go, Dad!" Missouri cheered.
"Oh, God." America hid his face. "This was a bad idea."
"I think it was rather good one," Morocco said. "Now if only the rest of them were just as drunk."
"Banged!" Iowa shouted at the top of his lungs. England's eyes widened and Slovakia covered Czech's ears.
"Screwed!" Michigan countered. Switzerland looked ready to drag Liechtenstein out of the party.
Indiana opened his mouth to shout but America slapped a hand over it.
"No!" America shouted. "We are not playing 'Synonyms of Having Sex'."
"Aw!" Indiana whined. "But I had a good one!"
"No! You all need to lay off the alcohol."
There was a crashing sound as Burgenland slammed his cello down on Tyrol's head. The Austrian state fell back, clutching his head and screaming curses. He reached blindly for his violin to retaliate.
Germany watched the whole fiasco with wide eyes. Prussia had started egging the Midwest on to fight with Austria's children.
"Do we have to stay for all three days?" Germany asked Poland.
"It is all about us," Poland giggled.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN MOM'S PREGNANT?" Washington shouted furiously.
o)O(o
Norway made a face and scooted away from China as he, once again, tried to convince her and Korea to have children. All fifty states were somehow obedient. The nations thought it had something to do with Morocco's hormones. Albania had Northern Ireland in a headlock, demanding the smaller nation stop calling him 'Doctor'.
The door to the meeting room suddenly opened and every nation froze in shock to see a small female nation standing in the doorway.
"Kosovo!" Albania let Northern Ireland drop to the floor. "My Princeshë!"
"Serbia's being a jerk again," Kosovo pouted, crossing her arms. She had short dark hair like Albania but Serbia's dark brown eyes.
Northern Ireland rubbed his neck, stumbling to Ireland's side. His brother shook his head in disbelief.
"Is he?" Albania rubbed Kosovo on the head. "I'll go beat the bastard up later." Kosovo giggled, smiling innocently up at her brother.
"Was?" Germany asked. "Nein! You will not be beating anyone up."
"I can do it if he's picking on my Princeshë," Albania shot back. "Anything for her."
"Is this something I should be worried about?" Vietnam asked, rolling a grape between her fingers.
"This is my little sister, Kosovo," Albania announced. "She's my special little Princeshë."
Vietnam looked Kosovo up and down before shrugging. "She'll do," she said.
"Right." Albania turned back to Northern Ireland. "Are you going to do what I said, Short Stuff?"
"I'm not short!" Northern Ireland snapped. "Doctor!"
Kosovo frowned, looking between Northern Ireland and Albania. "Doctor?" she repeated. "Doctor Who?"
Albania was silent for a moment. "Argh!" He tore after Northern Ireland, trying to catch and punish the smaller nation. Northern Ireland squawked and jumped off the ground into the air.
"Would you two quit following me around?" Romano snapped over his shoulder at Turkey and Austria. "I'm perfectly fine on my own."
"We just want to make sure you're safe," Austria sniffed. "You don't have to be so rude about it."
"Besides," Turkey growled. "That bastard Ottoman said ya might try somethin' again."
"Where is that bastard?" Romano snarled. "I still owe him a beating for shooting me."
Turkey froze in realization before racing away. "Greece!"
"Stupid Big Brother Bastard Number One is gone." Romano turned to Austria. "What about you?"
"What about me?" Austria quirked an eyebrow. "How are you going to chase me away?"
"Your daughter has a violin," Romano said bluntly.
"Salzburg is fine with a violin." Austria waved a hand dismissively. "I don't need to worry about her."
"What about the other one?" Romano asked with a quirked eyebrow.
"Vienna?" Austria whirled around and practically panicked when his eldest daughter began playing a drinking son. "Nein!" He hurried away to try and stop her.
"And there goes Stupid Big Brother Bastard Number Two," Romano muttered, looking around for his sister.
Denmark stumbled by, laughing with Italy on his back whooping. Portugal proceeded to berate Slovakia for losing the race. Greenland giggled, wrapping her arms around Spain's neck and resting her chin on his shoulder.
Romano blinked in surprise. "I'm surrounded by idiots."
"They decided to have a piggyback race," Seychelles explained, having snuck up on her husband. "I believe Romania and France are about to join in."
"Those bastards don't know a good race when they see one," Romano huffed, crossing his arms.
"They don't?" Seychelles asked with a quirked eyebrow. She turned her face as if to look at Romano.
"Sì," Romano huffed. "I could beat them all easily."
"You could?" Seychelles giggled. "I'd like to see that."
"Come here, you." Romano bent down and folded Seychelles over his shoulder.
"Eek!" Seychelles squealed. "Be careful."
Egypt watched the pair race past him as he sat beside Cyprus. The smaller nation looked around at the chaos with interest until Egypt stood up.
"Not again." Cyprus paled. "Someone stop him."
"I think I dropped my wallet in Santa Fe," Egypt began, singing a new song not many nations had heard before. Several of them turned to look at him in confusion. At North Carolina's badgering, Tennessee grabbed his guitar and watched Egypt carefully, playing when the nation continued.
"Lost the only picture I had of you that day and you're the best I ever had." Now all the nations looked confused at the words. Some were trying to figure out who Egypt could be dating. "I won't be the same."
Germany stood. "Someone get Turkey," he called, making his way across the room toward Egypt.
"Hey, West Virginia, hey, North Dakota, I think I love you, but don't even know you." America rounded on West Virginia and North Dakota. Both states shook their heads, their hands held in front of them. "Hey, Massachusetts, hey, Minnesota, I think I love you, but don't even know you." Minnesota quirked an eyebrow while Massachusetts frowned.
"Egypt!" Germany roared, stopping by Macau and Hong Kong playing Chinese checkers on the floor. "Stop this!"
"Hey, Carolina, hey okla-." Egypt was cut off when Turkey tackled him and began tying him up with a sheet.
"Ya really need ta get laid," Turkey growled.
A/N: What did you think?
Correct us if we're wrong! We found this information on the internet.
In Germany, it's tradition for the guests to break a porcelain object to bring good luck for the married couple.
In Poland, the wedding parties can last for at least two days and they have a great time. During the ceremony, the married couple might be chained together (no idea why). The guests throw coins and metal objects at the couple after the ceremony.
Skál!