Chapter 13

Amber sat alone in her hotel room and stared out the window. She couldn't get the image of Seth holding hands with Kaitlyn out of her head.

Feeling bad for snapping at Seth she'd wanted to apologize and talk to him. After all, it wasn't Seth's fault that management was screwing with her career. She'd returned to Dean's locker room only to be told that Seth went to catering. So she'd headed there instead. However, the minute she spotted him with Kaitlyn any thoughts of an apology disappeared on a wave of heartache and shock.

How could he move on so quickly? Didn't the year and a half they were together mean anything to him. It meant everything to her.

You said he deserved better. Her conscious argued. You pushed him away. What did you expect to happen?

Maybe deep down she'd hoped that he would wait for her. As foolish as that thought was.

Lexi's words from earlier that morning pinged inside her head yet again and she closed her eyes she replayed the argument they'd had. Amber had simply assumed that when Lexi returned that everything would be all right. She was Lexi Hart, which somehow in Amber's mind meant she could fix everything that was wrong.

Foolish!

She shook her head. While she might be Amber's mentor, Lexi wasn't some fictional superhero that could fix all the wrongs taking place in the WWE. It was stupid of Amber to think otherwise. Besides, while Lexi might have a lot of pull with management, she couldn't possibly fix what was wrong inside Amber's mind. Nobody could fix the feelings of inadequacy and shame she carried with her. Nobody could make her believe she was worthy of having someone as special as Seth or that she deserved to have happiness in her life.

She wiped a tear from her eye as she remembered how the crowd went nuts when Lexi appeared for the first time since revealing her pregnancy last March. Then, they'd cheered again after Lexi had applied the sharpshooter to Aksana and she'd tapped out to end the match. As stupid as it was, Amber wanted that crowd to cheer for her like that. She wanted desperately to be strong and talented like Lexi and Nattie and even Kaitlyn.

Kaitlyn

Slowly her thoughts turned to her so called friend and the celebration that followed backstage after Lexi's win. She watched from afar as their little group, including Kaitlyn, congratulated Lexi and how Kaitlyn had hugged Seth. Worse yet, Seth had left his arm around Kaitlyn's shoulders, giving the impression to those around that maybe the two were together. Dealing with that knowledge had been hard enough, but then she'd later learned that everyone had gone to Lexi and Roman's tour bus to celebrate further. Everyone in their group but her. Had they intentionally left her out or was she now just an afterthought to them?

She should be happy for Seth and damn it, she would eventually find a way to be happy for him. After all, she said he deserved better. Plus, if he'd moved on she could stop feeling bad for hurting him and focus on her career.

What career?

Amber frowned at that thought. She'd done everything management wanted, yet her future was still uncertain at best. Maybe the new year would bring some change for her. New year...Holiday...Christmas.

She groaned as a new wave of sadness struck. Last year, when they'd broke for the holiday's she'd gone with Seth to be with his family at Christmas. They'd welcomed her with open arms, treated her as one of their own. For the first time in years she'd felt as if she belonged. This year...this year she would be alone...again.

Seth took a beer from Roman just as Lexi emerged from the tour bus's bedroom. She pulled the door closed behind her.

"Squirt asleep?"

Lexi nodded and grinned. "She went down without a fight."

Zoe handed Lexi a margarita. "I'm really sorry about earlier today. I had every intention of watching Alea for you."

Lexi took a drink then slid into the booth seat at the dining table, next to Kaitlyn. "It's okay. You had to work. I totally get it. Besides, Amber agreed to watch her."

"Until Seth came along and absconded with her," Kaitlyn chuckled.

Seth raised his bottle. "Hell yeah I did and I'd do it again too." He grinned at Lexi. "I'd be happy to take care of squirt any time you need me."

Kaitlyn's brow creased with curiosity. "Why do you call her squirt?"

Lexi giggled. "You don't really want to know."

Kaitlyn developed a slow grin as she looked from Seth to Lexi and back. "Okay, now I'm even more curious."

"Well," Seth paused and pulled a long drink from his beer. "Actually it's really simple. Alea is the result of Roman squirting-"

"Stop," Nattie held up a hand cutting him off the same time Kaitlyn gasped out an Oh My God.

"What?" Seth shrugged. "It's the God's honest truth and I mean it with the utmost affection. I mean after all if he hadn't...well you know...she wouldn't be here now."

"I warned you," Lexi grinned. She looked from Seth back to Zoe, Kaitlyn and Nattie. "You know, Roman and I knew that the first few weeks being back wasn't going to be easy. We just need to find a routine."

"Well," Kaitlyn offered. "You can count me in for help whenever you need it."

Zoe and Nattie both nodded in agreement.

Lexi grinned. "Thanks guys. My dad used to bring me on the road with him from time to time." She glanced at Nattie. "Nattie you remember, right?"

Natalya nodded. "Yeah, there were always people willing to keep an eye on us when they couldn't."

Lexi toyed with the rim of her glass. "Of course we were a lot older than Alea, but I knew there had to be a way for me to balance my career and motherhood."

"Have you considered a nanny?" Kaitlyn asked.

Lexi nodded. "We have and it is an option if we can't make it work on our own, but Naomi has also volunteered to help and believe it or not, but Nicki and Brie have also said they'd watch Alea, so between all of us, I'm hoping we can handle it."

"What about Amber?" Zoe asked and Seth watched Lexi's face screw into a frown. She'd discussed her idea with him and while he really hated it, fundamentally he did agree. Unfortunately, it was time for his beautiful Amber to receive some tough love.

Lexi sighed. "I know she wants to help, but at this point I'm afraid we're going to have to try and stick to our plan, which means leaving her out from this point forward."

Kaitlyn leveled a worried look on her. "You still think this is a good idea?"

Lexi nodded. "Roman, Seth and I were talking about it and we agree she's going to have to hit rock bottom before anything is going to change."

Zoe shook her head. "I hate seeing her like this and I hate what we're going to do to her."

"I don't like it either," Lexi agreed. "But it's for her own good."

"Still," Zoe said. "It seems cruel to just abandon her like this."

"Trust me, I understand," Lexi said. "But we want her back, right?"

They all nodded.

"Then unless someone has a better idea, we move forward with this one."