Chapter 14

"That was too much fun," Lexi giggled against Kaitlyn as she, Nattie, Brie and Nikki all stumbled through the entrance curtain backstage. Amber stood a few feet away and watched the group joke and huddle together. She'd seen the Traditional Diva's Christmas match on the monitor. A match she had not been included in, despite being a diva.

"Girl," Namoi began. "You were rockin that short outfit. Though I still think you should have taken the bikini from Eva Marie."

Lexi grinned. "Not only would Roman have made me pay for wearing that on live television, I'm also still a little iffy about my stretch marks. This one piece was perfect."'

"It sure was," Roman rumbled from a few feet away where he stood holding Alea. She stepped away from Kaitlyn, walked over to Roman and leaned into him. He wrapped his free arm around Lexi, pulled her against him and planted a kiss on her that would have been totally inappropriate if Alea had been old enough to understand.

Envy and pain streaked through Amber as she watched their open display of love. Roman and Lexi had such a wonderful relationship, so filled with passion and respect. Unable to watch, Amber turned away and slowly began to back out of the group. She'd had that type of relationship with Seth, until she'd gone and screwed it up and now she missed having someone love her like that. Watching Lexi and Roman only served as a painful reminder of what she'd lost.

Once clear of the group she headed for the locker room to retrieve her belongings. Ever since that day two week ago when Seth took Alea from her, Lexi and Roman had kept her away from the baby. Of course they'd also began keeping their distance and she was starting to feel the loss of their friendship. Obviously they'd chosen Seth over her. Why shouldn't they? They'd known Seth a lot longer. Hell, Roman and Seth were best friends. It only made sense they'd side with him.

The loss of Lexi's friendship stung and like a open wound, continued to sting every time she saw Lexi, or one of the team. Nattie, Naomi, even Kaitlyn seemed to distance themselves from her. Of course since she'd stopped sharing a hotel room with Kaitlyn without explanation as to why, she kind of expected the cold shoulder.

While Zoe and Dean still interacted with her, she could feel the change in the dynamic of their relationship. It was as if they were only conversing and working with her because they had to. What had she done, aside from focusing on her career, to warrant such a reaction from them?

The result of losing the group she'd called friends for the last year and a half left her with an emptiness she hadn't known before. The loneliness she thought she'd banished when she met Seth returned and with it a depression so deep it settled in her very soul. Somehow she'd managed to continue to do her job, but beyond that her ability to function was limited.

Thankfully, with the show nearly over, it was finally time for the stars to go home to their families for the holidays. That was both a curse and a blessing. Being away from everyone would definitely give her a much needed break, but instead of going with Seth back to his parents, she'd be headed back to her apartment in Tampa. Guess it was a good thing she decided to hang onto the tiny one bedroom place she'd rented when she was just starting in NXT. Otherwise, with no family and now apparently no friends, she'd have had no place to go.

Seth watched as Amber slowly backed away from the group. Without a word she turned and disappeared down the hallway, leaving them all behind. She looked so sad, so lost...it made his heart ache. All he wanted to do was gather her close and tell her everything would be all right.

He stepped away from the group as they celebrated and stared down the now empty corridor. Knowing she'd probably gone back to the diva's locker room, he could easily go after her. And then what? She'd pushed him away. She'd been the one to make the career or love decision without considering how she could have both. At this point there wasn't anything he could do to change the past.

A warm hand landed on his shoulder and Seth turned to see Kaitlyn standing next to him. There was understanding and empathy in her eyes. He sighed as he turned to look back down the empty corridor. "She's hurting."

"I know," Kaitlyn murmured. "I also know seeing her in pain makes you hurt too."

He nodded. "I miss her so much. I just wish I could somehow make her see the error of her ways." He raked a hand through his loose hair. "She's so damn proud and so damn stubborn. I'm scared, K." He glanced over at her. "She's spiraling toward self-destruction and it's killing me to know there's nothing I can do to stop it."

Kaitlyn slid her arms around his waist and pressed a hug to his back. "Maybe Lexi's plan isn't working. Maybe this isn't the right thing for Amber."

He shrugged. "Maybe. But what else can we do when she won't admit there's anything wrong and won't ask for help?"

Kaitlyn rested her chin on his back as she looked up at him. "Have you tried talking to her lately?"

"You think I should?"

"I think you should follow whatever your gut tells you to do," she replied.

His gut was telling him he needed to at least try and do something before she left. He pulled away. "I'm gonna go talk to her."

Kaitlyn smiled as she backed up. "Good luck."

"Thanks." He headed down the corridor with the hopes of finding Amber before she exited the building. What exactly would he say when he found her? It wasn't as if she'd been all that interested in talking to him before now. He'd just rounded the corner to the diva's locker room when Amber emerged.

She stopped short at the sight of him and he noted the pain that flickered in her eyes. "You lost?" she asked.

He shook his head as he noted her snarky tone. "I was hoping to talk to you."

"Why?"

He nearly cringed at the suspicion in her tone. Had he caused that? Did she really think he had ulterior motives or would hurt her intentionally? "I just wanted to see how you were doing?"

She folded her arms across her chest in a posture that screamed keep your distance. "I'm fine."

She didn't look fine to him. "Amber-"

She held up a hand, stopping him mid-sentence. "Whatever you're going to say, save it for your new girlfriend, okay? Because I don't want to hear it."

He jerked at her statement and felt his brow knit as her words settled in his mind. New girlfriend? "What girlfriend?"

She rolled her eyes. "Jesus, can you at least respect me enough to tell me the truth."

Stunned by her accusation, he simply shook his head at her. "I do respect you, Amber and I don't have another girlfriend. I don't want another girlfriend."

"Wow," she muttered as she turned and grabbed her belongings. "Okay, fine. Have it your way, Seth. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with Kaitlyn. I'm sure your family will love her."

Her words pelted him like tiny daggers and only served to piss him off. She actually thought he was with Kaitlyn now? "Wait just a fucking minute." He reached out and snagged her by the arm. She turned back and looked at him and he could see the pain in her eyes. "I'm not dating Kaitlyn," he said. "She's only a friend and that's all she'll ever be to me because I love you, damn it."

For a brief second he thought he saw joy in her expression, but before he could capitalize on the emotion, it was gone. "You have a funny way of showing it," she spat as her anger returned full force. "Ever since you took Alea from me two weeks ago, Roman and Lexi haven't let me near her. Hell, nobody from our group, including you, has made any attempt to talk to me." She nearly sneered at him. "Congratulations, Seth. If your goal was to make me look completely incompetent, then you succeeded."

He opened his mouth to argue, only to have her plow right over him. "Just go on back to your friends and don't worry about me." She yanked her arm out of his grip. "I'll be fine." Before he could argue she turned and walked away.