Chapter 16

Seth wandered aimlessly through his parent's big farmhouse as he listened to his sister and brother argue over the merits and pitfalls of the recently enacted health care act. The moment they'd started talking politics he'd lost interest and exited the room. The last thing he wanted to do was have a heated debate on Christmas.

Because of his touring schedule he didn't get to see his siblings all that much and he'd been looking forward to spending some time with them. Only now that they were here he couldn't seem to find it in himself to actively engage with them. Not with his mind on other things.

He stared out the kitchen window at the brightness of the fresh snowfall that left the wooded area behind the house looking very much like a Currier and Ives painting. All it needed was a couple of deer standing at the edge of the treeline for it to be picture perfect.

Amber would have enjoyed this was all he could think as he closed his eyes and swallowed down the lump in his throat. She would have enjoyed both the snowfall, the fire burning in fireplace and the lively debate with is family. More important, he would have loved to have her with him, but she'd chosen a different path and he needed to figure out a way to accept that fact. On a sigh, he turned and headed into the den. It was time he tried to enjoy Christmas and stop worrying over her.

He'd just eased onto the couch next to his sister when his cell phone began to ring. Seth pulled his phone from his pocket and glanced at the screen. Amber's face stared back at him. His finger hesitated over the decline button as he considered what to do. After the lambasting she gave him two days ago what could she possibly have to say that couldn't wait until after Christmas?

It wasn't as if she hadn't made her feelings clear the other day. Maybe it would be best if he simply ignored her call and dealt with the fallout later. At least that way he wouldn't risk ruining his family's Christmas with all of his personal drama. Of course if he didn't answer, he'd spend the rest of the evening wondering what she wanted and feeling guilty for not talking to her. He pressed the send button. "Hello?"

Silence met his greeting and instantly his skin prickled with awareness. "Amber?" More silence. "Honey are you there?"

"I-I'm sorry," she finally slurred in his ear. "I-I sh-shouldn't have called."

Worry tickled the edges of his mind. Something was terribly wrong. "No." He stood up and walked to the window, away from where his family was sitting. "It's fine. What's going on?"

There was silence again and a slow sickness started to build low in his belly. "Baby, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

"No," she finally sobbed after a moment. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything I did to you and everything I've said. Its all my fault." Her words tumbled together banging into each other until he was struggling to keep up. "I never meant to hurt you. I'm just so messed up. I-I just can't…" her words trailed off.

"You can't what?" He turned a panicked gaze toward his family who now watched with confused curiosity.

"I-I can't do this anymore," she murmured, her words soft, garbled and ominous sounding. Had she been drinking?

"Can't do what anymore?" The ugly silence returned, making Seth's stomach turn. "Baby, talk to me."

"I-I n-need...need to know you forgive me," she replied, not answering his question.

"Forgive you for what? You haven't done anything wrong."

"Yes, I have. I hurt you. I never meant to, but I did and I'm so sorry," she sobbed. "Please say you forgive me."

"Okay, I forgive you. Amber, honey, have you been drinking?"

"Yes," she replied. "I-I thought it would make it easier."

"Make what easier?" A fresh shot of adrenaline coursed through his veins at the meaning behind her statement. She was drunk, obviously depressed and not making any sense. "Baby, please...Make what easier?"

"I love you," she whispered. "I've always loved you, but you deserve better."

"Don't say that. I deserve you. I want you," Seth pleaded. "I love you, baby. I love you so much."

"Promise me you'll be happy."

Oh God. This couldn't be happening. Seth closed his eyes, hoping that when he opened them again he'd realize it was just a very bad dream. "I promise. Just, stay on the phone with me okay?"

"I-I can't do that."

He raked a shaky hand through his hair. "Why not?"

"Because it's time for me to go now."

He opened his eyes now as the horror of the moment caught up with him. Over a thousand miles separated them. A full day's drive and a minimum of six hours by plane if he could even get a flight on Christmas eve. He was helpless to stop her. "B-baby, please don't do anything you're gonna regret."

"I already regret so much," she said. "You'll see...this will make it right. I love you, Colby."

A new level of fear streaked through him at the sound of his real name. She never used his real name. Like Roman he'd adopted his stage name for damn near everything. "Amber wait-" Before he could finish his sentence the line went dead.

"No!"

Hands shaking and barely able to think straight, Seth dialed her back. He listened, his heart in his throat as the call rang and eventually dumped into her voice mail. "Baby, please call me back. I love you. Please don't do anything to harm yourself."

"Son?" his mother looked at him, concern in her eyes. "What's going on?"

"I-I" He struggled with his composure. Now certainly wasn't the time to lose it. "I think Amber is going to try and kill herself." Despite his best effort to hold himself together he could feel his entire body vibrating. There had to be somebody that was in Tampa or at least closer to her. Dean had gone back to South Carolina with Zoe. Roman! Immediately he scrolled through his contacts and dialed Roman. When he didn't answer, Seth cursed then tried Lexi's number.

"Seth. Hey Merry Christmas," Lexi answered.

"Lexi I need your help. Something's going on with Amber," Seth practically tripped over the words as he fought to get them out.

"Okay, just calm down a sec. What's going on with Amber?"

He quickly retold the conversation he'd just had with Amber. "She's alone, depressed and drunk. I-I'm afraid she's going to do something stupid. I know it's Christmas Eve, but you and Roman are the closest." He closed his eyes as he tried to will back the panic that had gripped his body. "There's no way I can get to her. Please, Lexi. If anything happens to her..."

"Say no more," Lexi replied. "We're at Roman's parents. We'll leave Alea with them and figure out how to get to Tampa as fast as we can. I'll let you know as soon as we find out anything." She disconnected without another word and Seth immediately collapsed into the closest chair. If she harmed herself because of what he and the others did…

He looked at his phone, dialed her number again only to have it ring into voice mail. Unable to do anything but wait, he dialed again, and again, then switched to texting. All the while he prayed she'd still be alive by the time Lexi and Roman reached her.