One more update for you, make sure you read the chapters in order since I am posting them so close together.
All usual disclaimers apply, SG1 is not mine, Zarkina and Vannas are mine.
Chapter Eighteen: Time Past
Daniel hugged the pillow that barely carried Jack's scent anymore. He was supposed to be going to class soon but after Jack's absence for so long, he didn't really feel like getting out of bed anymore.
Today made it two months, the twins were only a couple weeks from giving birth and Daniel wasn't ready to take in his children without their other father. Daniel didn't want to think that it was over and Jack was gone for good but he wondered how long Zarkina was going to keep searching for someone who wasn't available to them anymore.
There was a knock on his door but Daniel didn't move. The door opened a second later, Zarkina stood on the other side. "Daniel, I cancelled your classes for a little while until you feel more like yourself."
"How could you allow this to happen?" Daniel whispered, knowing he could very well be burning a bridge the remaining members of SG-1 still needed to survive but he didn't want to live without Jack and Zarkina had been responsible for Jack. She sat down next to him on the bed, touched his shoulder in comfort.
"Daniel, I am so sorry this happened and I am even more sorry that I haven't brought him back to you yet. Zarcorp is moving him from facility to facility every couple of days, and I don't have moles in all his towns and camps, not to mention if Zarranth has actually taken Jack back into the city."
Daniel heard what the woman was saying but he didn't know what to think or feel or say anymore. "Please just leave me alone until the twins give birth or you find my husband, whatever comes first."
Zarkina squeezed his shoulder again before moving away from the bed quietly, "I promise we haven't given up."
Daniel shrugged and sucked in another deep breath, pulling in the faint smell of his beloved. He didn't know what he was going to do here if Jack didn't survive whatever was happening to him. Daniel would have gone on the search parties but with the children on the way, Sam and Teal'c wouldn't let him join the searches. Sam was still working and Teal'c was helping Damnation and Zarkina with the searches but he returned every couple of days to let them know what was going on. Daniel had lost track of the different places Jack had ended up since he'd been taken.
He slipped into a fitful sleep once more, tears staining the sheets around him and his grip tightening. He wanted to cry again about losing Jack but he was already so tired he couldn't do it anymore.
He didn't wake up completely when Sam came into his room and slipped into the bed behind him. She wrapped her arms around his stomach as she cuddled up with him. She whispered words of kindness in his ear as he tried to sleep and Daniel realized that Teal'c was undoubtedly still gone. They were missing their men and together they would have some sort of comfort. Some sort of understanding and love to help with the agony in Daniel's heart.
Daniel wrapped his hand around Sam's as he continued to sleep fitfully. He hadn't slept for more than an hour at a time since Jack left but having Sam's arms around him protectively made him feel safe enough to fall into a light slumber.
Jack slumped against the wall, having been brought back to his cell again after a session of torture. Zarranth had long ago given up on getting much information out of him, instead he just seemed to be enjoying himself. Jack had no idea anymore if the Vannas and Daniel had given up on finding him, he was so sick of moving from place to place. He was sick at heart about what Daniel was going through alone and Jack just wanted to stop.
He took inventory of his newest breaks, several ribs were cracked and his face was a bloody mess once more. Zarranth broke one of his arms this time and had choked him till he passed out. Whenever they moved from place to place, the tormentor placed him in this box that was like a Sarcophagus, it would heal Jack so he appeared in good health every time he appeared in front of other people and then the man took great pleasure in inflicting all his wounds all over again. They weren't supposed to move for another 48 hours from this facility so Zarranth was giving Jack time to 'consider his options' as he liked to say.
He looked up and gazed at the person who walked into the cell room without really knowing what he was looking at. He couldn't focus anymore, Zarranth had punched Jack around the eyes on multiple occasions and Jack figured there was some permanent damage to his retina.
"Oh God, what have they done to you?" a young woman's voice asked breathlessly.
"Look," Jack gasped, "He promised me time before he started the torture again."
"Oh Jack, I am not here to torture you, I am here to see if I can get you home," she said gently as she came forward and touched the bars. Jack tried to focus on her but couldn't handle it.
"Who are you? I can't see you clearly." He was so frustrated with the inconvenience of his messed up eyes. Those boxes were not as effective as the Sarcophagus or Jack suspected Zarranth had purposely made it less than perfect on purpose.
She waved him over; he went mostly because if she killed him he would be free of this pain and if she hurt him more he was already pretty numbed out from the constant torture sessions. She touched his temple and soothing warmth slithered from her fingertips and into his skull and as Jack squeezed his eyes shut he could feel something snap back into place once more. He opened his eyes to find the world perfectly clear again; in fact it was better than it had been before he left earth. She'd brought his vision back to 20/20 perfection.
"Thanks," he responded and focused on her pixie looking face. It was the healer who helped Teal'c when he was dying from the snake maturing. "I know you, you helped my friend."
"Yes Jack, I am Erica. I live near the city and the Vannas and our allies have been searching for you. Zarranth has kept you pretty well hidden but bringing you to this outpost was a mistake, many of Akina's people are hidden in plain sight here. My husband and I are two of many. I even have clearance to this facility and I am medical personnel so I have every reason to be here.
"Why do you call her by her given name? I watched her punch out Nadio for the same offense." He wasn't really interested but it was better than thinking of the need to escape, which sounded too painful of an option right now.
"I am Akina's best friend, next to her husband and Nadio is a stupid man who loves to start fights with people much more powerful then he is."
She said it with such intensity that Jack had no problem believing the feelings were personal, "Okay well how are we getting me out?"
"You're going to die," she said with a grin. He stared at her in shock.
"Daniel, you should go teach today, I know it's been hard for you since Jack disappeared but he wouldn't want you to give up your life."
It had been another week in bed; Daniel barely ate and barely spoke to anyone. Sam was just about the only person he allowed to stay in his company for more than a minute or so. "I don't want to live without him Sam, I have told you this." Daniel stated morosely.
"Daniel, you have children due in a couple weeks for crying out loud! You going to leave them without their father?"
"Of course not! As I told Zarkina, I will come out to be a father or a husband, which ever comes first? For now, I don't feel like I have anything to live for."
"Daniel," Sam cajoled.
"Don't Sam! You have Teal'c and your baby on the way. I have forever lost the man I love and I am not ready to just keep living without him!"
Sam walked over to where was pacing around the room, grabbed him and pulled his resistant body into her arms. She held him tightly until he stopped struggling and wrapped his arms around her back, "I know honey, everything is going to be okay. Jack always comes home to you, always!"
Daniel cried quietly in her arms, not moving for a long time. Then he felt the drain on his anger induced energy sap out of him and he moved to the bed and settled into the blanket there. He flashed on memories of getting married and making love to Jack on this bed that he got as a present. He remembered the first kiss by the water back in Damnation's camp and the ceremony in Silver Wolf's camp, which bound their hearts together forever. He looked down at the silver lines of the bonding mark on his tanned skin. He'd asked Zarkina about them soon after Jack's disappearance. They wouldn't disappear if Jack were to die while they were bound together but it would visible change in the act of losing one of the pair.
Daniel had taken to staring at his hand, hoping to see no change and sometimes even hoping he would because he knew that Zarranth was hurting him, Desire had told him as much. He wanted Jack back in his arms alive but part of him wished that Jack could escape the pain he was going through.
He allowed himself to slip into that troubled sleep that had become the norm for him. He didn't hear if Sam left the room or not until much later when he was waking up again. He didn't open his eyes, wasn't ready to look at the world again with no Jack but he could hear Teal'c and Sam talking.
"How is Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c was asking.
"He is depressed, has no intention of leaving his bed until the children are born or Jack is found and brought home," Sam responded.
"What can we do for him?"
"Get Jack back, that's what he needs," Sam's voice broke on the words and Daniel felt sympathy for his dear blonde friend. He wished he could pull himself out of this turmoil so she could focus on being happy about her life, Sam had lived with a lot of sadness and loss, this should have been a happy time for her but Daniel couldn't find his way out of bed.
It didn't change his mind though, sad as that was. He couldn't see the light of the world, the possible happiness of the future without Jack's infectious grin and gruff exterior. Daniel couldn't imagine ever finding a reason to reach out in love to anyone after having Jack inside his body, after being inside Jack's body in turn. The Colonel had trusted Daniel with his heart, his body and his soul and Daniel had done the same in return and once again, life had taken away the most important part. Fate was a vicious bitch and a large part of Daniel wished suddenly that he'd never allowed Lust to impregnate herself with a child from his DNA, it was sure to be cursed as well.
"Come to bed, Samantha," Teal'c was crooning to Sam and Daniel couldn't handle it anymore. He snapped up in bed, rushed over to the door of his bedroom and nudged Sam onto the other side where Teal'c was standing and slammed the door in their shocked faces. He couldn't listen to their love for one another without his hear breaking all over again. He paced around the room, breathing heavily and when he got to the armoire where he could see his face, he punched the mirror and it shattered around his fist.
He screamed in frustration and fear and watched as blood leaked from his battered knuckles and he felt something inside break finally. He felt the release from the inner pain as the physical pain of his hand took its place. Then before Daniel could use the reprieve, it was gone but in that second desperation grabbed a hold of Daniel's mind and he rummaged through the drawers until he found a bandage for his hand.
Daniel wrapped it quickly as he grabbed shoes and his long forgotten BDU's. He slipped into the t-shirt and pants, shoved his feet into the air force issue boots he hadn't put on in months and took off out of the apartment before Teal'c or Sam could ask him any questions. He knew exactly where to pick a fight. There were many Vannas on the island that resented their presence and the relationship they had developed with the queen and many of the royal family. He was going to give every single one of them the chance to fight him.
It was the only way he was ever going to find some peace. He knew it was the wrong thing to do but he was so sick of feeling the emotional hurt of losing his beloved Colonel that he would take what he could get.
Maybe it would give him the chance to beg forgiveness for letting Jack down, for letting down Teal'c and Sam as well as Lust and Desire. He was as always, useless to those who depended on him. Utterly useless to those he loved.