After ten minutes of watching Kurt move food around on his plate instead of eating I decided to say something.
"I know I'm not a great chef but my meals are usually edible. The exception was those biscuits you said I should give to the hockey team to use as pucks," I ventured.
The comment elicited a small smile from my dinner companion though he didn't look up.
"What's on your mind, Kurt?" I asked, using a more serious tone. "Do you regret kissing me?" I asked, fearing the answer but needing to know. The thought that we might be able to work our way back to where we were before I made the worst mistake of my life had lifted my spirit. No I wondered if it was just another mistake on my part.
"Yes and no," Kurt replied quietly.
It wasn't the answer I had expected nor the one I had hoped for but at least it still meant I had a chance.
Reaching across the table I gently placed my hand over the hand that Kurt wasn't holding the fork in.
"Talk to me then, Kurt. Why do you regret it?"
"Because I feel as though I led you on. That because we kissed you'll assume that we're back together."
"And you don't want to get back together with me?" I asked, feeling what little hope I had slip away.
"It's not that simple," Kurt whispered.
I didn't need him to explain anything more to me. I knew then what the problem was. I gently squeezed the hand that was under mine. "I'm so sorry that I hurt you Kurt. I can't put into words how sorry I am. If I could change what happened I would, but I can't. I don't even think there is any way I could ever make up for it but I do love you."
"And I love you," Kurt said, in a voice barely audible. "But I'm scared to open myself to getting hurt like that again."
"I swear to you, I will never do something like that again. You're my one true love. You always have been and I was a fool to doubt that."
Kurt closed his eyes and swallowed hard but didn't try to pull his hand out of my grasp. When he opened his eyes again I could see tears sparkling in them.
"Can we take it slow. Sort of like starting all over again."
"We can go as slow as you want," I assured him.
Kurt turned his hand around so that his palm was facing mine. I had my second chance and I planned on making the most of it.