This will be the last chapter today. I have to write more from this point forward, but I didn't want to leave everyone hanging from that last chapter. Thanks to everyone who is reading and following and commenting.

Chapter 17

Hours passed as Seth paced his parent's house and he continued to call and text Amber's cell with no response. If Lexi and Roman couldn't get a flight on Christmas Eve they'd have to make the trip by car and it would take the better part of seven hours to drive from Pensacola to Tampa.

If she'd done what he feared, her body would be cold by the time they found her. Grief streaked through him at that thought. He couldn't lose her. Damn it! Seth punched the closed bathroom door and struggled to contain his fear. He knew the frailness of her mental state. Yet he'd allowed Lexi to talk him into this stupid tough love idea. Yes, Amber had finally hit bottom, just like Lexi predicted, but she'd done it when no one could easily reach her. What if they got there too late?

Three hours after his call to Lexi and a text popped up on his phone. Just landed in Tampa. Need to rent a car, then we'll jet to Amber's. Hang in there...we'll know something soon.

On a heavy sigh, he crashed onto the couch and scrubbed his hands over his face. Somehow they'd managed to book a puddle jumper flight from Pensacola to Tampa. Hopefully it wouldn't already be too late when they got there. When he opened his eyes, his father stood in front of him holding out a glass of scotch. "I think you could use this."

Seth accepted the glass and watched as his father eased into his favorite recliner. "No matter how this plays out, you need to try not to blame yourself, son."

Seth studied the colored liquid in is glass. "How can I not? I didn't really like Lexi's plan, but I agreed to it. If Amber's done something-"

"Stop right there." His dad held up a hand. "You said that Amber needed help and that he refused to get help, correct?"

Seth nodded.

"You said she pushed you away, right?"

He nodded again.

"Okay. Then you need to remember two things. First, the moment she walked away from you she was no longer your responsibility."

"But I still love her," Seth argued then downed the drink in one shot.

"I don't doubt that, but she's also a grown woman who can make her own decisions, Colby. If she did something stupid rather than asking for help, well-" He lifted his glass. "As sad as that would be, because she really is a wonderful girl, it's still on her, not you."

Seth stewed over his father's words for nearly an hour before his phone rang and a picture of Lexi holding Alea appeared on his screen. His swiped his finger to answer. "Well?"

"She's alive," Lexi replied. "She's passed out drunk and from all appearances she might have been going to attempt suicide. Roman found a bottle of prescription sleeping pills next to a very large and nearly empty vodka bottle, but all the pills are accounted for."

Seth closed his eyes as he let his head fall forward and he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Thank God."

"Um…" Lexi's voice softened with caution. "Roman just found a note."

Seth felt his body jerk. "What does it say?"

Silence filled his ear and Seth could practically feel his skin crawl. "Lexi," he ground out. "What. Does. It. Say?"

"I really don't think-"

"Just read the damn thing," Seth nearly shouted.

"Fine," she sighed and he could hear the crinkle of paper. "The writing is scribbled and kinda hard to make out, but this is what I think it says," she replied. Then, in a soft and haunting voice she began to read. "I'm so sorry, but I can't do this anymore. I can't go on alone trying to live with the guilt and the pain. Please forgive me."

A chill ripped up Seth's spine as the ugly truth smacked him in the face. "Dear God." He'd nearly lost her, forever.

"Seth, listen to me," Lexi urged. "We got to her in time and we're not going to leave her here alone. As soon as we can get her somewhat sobered up, we'll pack her up and take her back home with us. We won't give her the chance to try it again, okay?"

"I'll see if I can catch a flight down tomorrow," he said as he looked over at his parents. He would spend the remainder of Christmas eve with them and his siblings. Tomorrow he'd work on trying to reach his second family. "I'm not sure if I can because it's Christmas, but if not, I will definitely be down the day after. I can't thank you enough for doing this, Lexi."

"You don't need to thank us, Seth. We love Amber as much as you do. Call us when you get to the airport and Roman will pick you up."

"Text me in the morning and let me know how she's doing."

"I will and, Seth…"

"Yeah?"

"Don't worry. We got her and we're not going to let her go this time."

Her head felt as if someone had ripped it open with a hatchet and somewhere close a marching band's drumline was practicing. Amber opened one bleary eye and stared up at the ceiling as confusion mixed with the alcohol induced fog already clouding her brain. She frowned. This wasn't her apartment.

"I was beginning to worry that maybe you had taken more than just the vodka," Lexi's voice whispered through the quiet of the room. Carefully, Amber turned her head to see Lexi sitting in an overstuffed chair a few feet away. How had she gotten to Lexi and Roman's house?

She lifted a hand to her throbbing head and groaned. "How in the hell did I get here?" Her mouth tasted like an old dirty rag and she struggled not to gag.

"Seth," Lexi replied as she pushed up from the chair and walked to the bed. "He called us in a panic. He said he'd gotten an ominous call from you and he was afraid you were going to do something to harm yourself."

Lexi eased onto the bed and looked down at Amber. "Thank God you passed out before you could."

Amber closed her eyes as little blips of memory began to filter through her mind. The sleeping pills and the vodka. The loneliness and the heartache. She'd just wanted to hear his voice one more time. A sudden and violent pain sliced through her and with it the instant need to vomit. She tossed the covers aside, scrambled from the bed and stumbled on unsteady feet to the attached guest bathroom.

Her knees hit the cool tile floor just as her body purged the remnants from her previous night's drinking. She shook and groaned and shivered as sweat beaded on her skin and her body wracked violently with cramps. At that moment she wished she was dead for an entirely different reason and silently promised herself that if she survived this that she'd never drink again.

God, she'd been so stupid to think alcohol was the answer. Had she really fallen so low as to want to take her own life? What if she'd managed to succeed? Behind her she could feel Lexi holding her hair and rubbing her back. She could remember the profound sadness. The raw, all encompassing pain she'd felt the night before and her body shuddered again, as if it was trying to force all the ugliness from her system.

When she finally, blissfully finished emptying herself, she collapsed to the side and closed her eyes. Everything from her hair to her toenails hurt. She could hear Lexi moving around, the sound of water running, then two hands pulling her back.

With no energy to fight, she went willingly and found herself leaning back against Lexi. Lexi wiped a cool cloth over Amber's face and draped it across her forehead. For a moment they simply sat in companionable silence. Questions danced in Amber's mind and eventually made their way to her tongue. "I know Seth called you, but how did I actually get here?"

"We caught a flight to Tampa and found you alone and passed out in your apartment. Once we were sure you hadn't tried to overdose on that bottle of sleeping pills we found, we worked to sober you up enough to bring back here. It was a long drive back and a long night in general."

Long night...Night...Eve...Christmas Eve… Amber groaned. "I'm sorry, Lexi. I ruined your first Christmas with the baby."

"No," Lexi refolded the cloth then wiped it over Amber's forehead a second time. "You didn't. What would have ruined my Christmas was to find out we'd been too late to stop you. That might have just ruined my Christmas forever."

"But it's Christmas morning and you're sitting on the bathroom floor with me when you should be opening gifts with your husband and child."

"Roman went to his folks to get Alea and open gifts," Lexi replied. "We'll have something special together later. He and his family understand that this is where I need to be right now."

Amber raked a shaky hand through her tangled hair. "Still...I feel bad."

"Don't," Lexi shook her head. "If anyone should feel bad...if anyone should be sorry, it's me."

Shock rippled through Amber as she shifted to the side, turned her head and locked gazes with Lexi. "Why are you sorry?"

"Because I was convinced the only way for you to see the error of your ways was for you to hit rock bottom." Lexi sighed. "I talked everyone to intentionally alienate you with the hopes you'd finally come to your senses and we could get you help. Jesus Amber, I never thought you'd try to take your own life." She frowned "Some friend I am, huh?"

"No," Amber curled her fingers around Lexi's wrist, holding her in place. "You're a great friend. You tried to do what you thought was right. You even gave up your Christmas Eve to come rescue me. And…" she paused as she struggled with the words. It was so hard for her to admit, but absolutely necessary that she did. "You were right. I did need to hit rock bottom."

Lexi shook her head. "There had to have been a better way than this. You have no idea how terrible I feel. How terrible we all felt. Closing you out had to be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do."

Amber shot her a small smile. "That really means something coming from the woman who gave birth in a hotel room in the middle of a hurricane with no pain medicine."

Lexi visibly shivered and rolled her eyes. "Don't remind me." Silence fell between them as Lexi gave her a sad smile. "I'm so glad you didn't take those pills."

"Me too," Amber replied. "You know, the fact that I'm still here tells me two things."

Lexi arched a brow. "What's that?"

"First, that deep down I really didn't want to go yet. Otherwise I would have taken the sleeping pills before I called Seth."

Lexi nodded. "Good Point. And the second?"

"That I'm not as alone as I thought." She pulled away now. Eased over and rested her head against the cabinet door as she looked back at Lexi and sighed. "This isn't easy for me to admit, but inside my head...things...well...they're not always right. Sometimes my thoughts...they get warped and twisted and...and I don't know how to fix it on my own. Sometimes, like last night, I didn't even realize I'd stumbled down the wrong mental path." She paused as she studied the woman she still considered her best friend. If she could lean on anyone it was Lexi. "I-I need help, Lexi."

"I know, honey." Lexi took her hand and Amber watched as tears welled in her friends eyes. "We'll get you all the help you need. Just promise me you won't ever try to do something like that again, okay?"

Feeling for the first time in weeks that she wasn't actually alone Amber nodded. "I promise."