I was listening to music on my Iphone this morning when I came across a song that really hit home with this story. You found me by The Fray. If you've never heard the song, check it out and you'll see what I mean.

Chapter 18

Exhausted, Seth stepped off the plane and headed for baggage claim. After spending the better part of twenty four hours replaying his heartbreaking conversation with Amber, his mind was all but numb and he was simply going through the motions. He'd just pulled his two suitcases from the conveyor belt and was preparing to call Roman when a familiar voice rumbled behind him. "Well don't you look like shit?"

Seth turned to see Roman standing a few feet away. "Thanks," he shot back. "You'd look like shit too if you hadn't slept yesterday morning." He frowned. "What did you do, track my flight information online?"

Roman grinned as reached for one of the rolling suitcases. "Lexi did and what do you mean you haven't slept since yesterday? The entire reason Lexi called you was so you'd know Amber was okay and you could stop worrying."

"No I couldn't stop worrying," Seth corrected as he followed Roman toward the parking garage even as Amber's voice continued to echo inside his head. "You didn't hear her on the phone, Roman. The despair and resolution in her voice haunted me. Every fucking time I closed my eyes all I could see was you and Lexi finding her cold body." He shook his head as Roman popped the hatch and tossed the bags in the back of the SUV. "I couldn't seem to shake the feeling that I was dreaming you guys said she was okay when in fact she was actually gone."

He slid into the passenger seat, leaned back and closed his eyes. This was real. He was in Pensacola in Roman's Honda CR-V. Amber was safely tucked away at Roman and Lexi's house and she was okay.

"Hey." Seth opened his eyes and glanced over at Roman. "You can stop worrying. She really is okay."

Seth arched a brow. "Would you stop worrying if this was Lexi we were talking about?"

Roman smirked. "No."

Feeling he'd made his point, Seth turned and stared out the window. "How bad was she when you found her?"

"Bro," Roman sighed. "Don't do this to yourself."

"Do what?"

"Torture yourself with the details," Roman replied as he looked both ways before pulling out onto the main road. "Nothing good can come from it, so why bother?"

"I just keep picturing her alone in the dark in that tiny apartment and my heart aches." Seth said.

Roman nodded. "Well your imagination probably wasn't far off from how we found her." Roman glanced at him now. "I will tell you that when we first found her, she was clutching a picture of you and her from the wedding."

Seth closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "She told me I deserved better than her and that she was going to make it right. God, Roman, it just kills me that she thinks so little of herself."

"She's ill, Seth."

"Believe me, I know, but how are we supposed to get her the help she needs when she won't admit anything is wrong?"

Roman made a right onto a side road. "She admitted it to Lexi this morning." He glanced at Seth. "Lexi said Amber agreed to see a therapist."

His words had Seth jerking in shock and he arched a brow. "Really? She admitted it?"

Roman nodded. "Lexi told me Amber was pretty freaked out over what she did last night."

Seth sighed as he allowed a tiny bit of hope bloom. "We're all pretty freaked out." He palmed his phone. "You know, she finally texted me a little while ago. She told me she was okay and she was sorry for scaring me and that she'd be in touch soon."

Roman arched a brow. "I'm guessing you didn't tell her you were fling down here today?"

Seth shook his head. "I didn't want to give her the chance to prepare for my arrival and put up her walls."

"You think she'd do that at this point?"

Seth shrugged. "I don't know. Now that she's agreed to see a therapist maybe not, but I don't know if she's changed her mind about me. She admitted that she loves me when I had her on the phone yesterday. I don't want to give her the chance to push me away again simply because she thinks she's damaged goods."

Amber awoke to the sound of crying. She blinked and for a moment was once again confused as to where she was. Then she remembered her conversation earlier that morning with Lexi. That meant she was still at Lexi and Roman's house which made the crying she heard coming from Alea.

Feeling quite a bit better after an early afternoon nap, Amber tossed the covers off and stood. Her head still hurt, but the tortured pounding she'd suffered with earlier had slowly dulled into a low thud. Hopefully some Ibuprofen and caffeine would kill off the rest. She pressed a hand to her belly as a low gurgling sound caught her by surprise. Was she actually hungry?

She stepped into the hallway and reached Alea's room the same time as Lexi. "I'll get her," Amber offered. "Unless you still don't want me around her."

Lexi gave her a sheepish look. "You're more than welcome to take Alea anytime you want. Roman's folks send us leftovers for dinner, so I'll go get them ready, okay?"

Amber arched a brow. "It's only four o'clock."

"Yes, but I'm starving and I'm sure you probably are too. Besides, it's Christmas. Who cares when we eat?" With that Lexi turned and headed down stairs.

Amber spent the next ten minutes changing and soothing Alea before she headed down stairs with the infant in her arms. The savory aroma of ham and turkey mixed with other appetizing scents and caused Amber's stomach to growl. So she was hungry...how about that?

Still amazed by that revelation, she turned toward the sound of the back door opening and froze. Shock ricocheted through her first, followed immediately by confusion and fear. What was Seth doing here? She wasn't ready to see him, hadn't figured out what she was going to say to him yet.

He stood in the doorway with a haunting look in his eyes as he stared at her. Dark circles encompassed his eyes, circles she knew she'd caused. He released the handle on his rolling suitcase and stalked toward her.

Lexi reached over her shoulder and plucked Alea from her grip just as Seth reached her. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling Amber tight against him and with his face buried in her hair, he cried.

Automatically her arms wrapped around him as she closed her eyes and struggled to hold back her own tears. In the year and a half she'd known Seth, not once had she ever seen him cry. Now he sobbed like a baby against her and guilt filled in her as the knowledge that she'd caused his pain, settled into her brain. "Thank God," he murmured against her ear. "I was so scared I'd lost you forever."

His words only made her need to cry more prominent and she sucked in a ragged breath. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry I scared you."

He shook his head against hers. "No, I'm sorry. God, I love you so much and when you hung up on me…" his sentence trailed off on a sob and doing the only thing she could, Amber tightened her grip. "Please don't push me away again."

"No," she choked on a sob of her own. "No more pushing people away...especially you."