"I think that your lying but whatever. It's none of my business. I'm just glad that you'll be okay."

He made another humming sound but said nothing even as his mind screamed. I'm not okay! I'm not okay!

He was as far from 'okay' as he could get for one of his kind.

At least ten of his clansmen had been killed and seven others had been taken hostage by the humans. He'd killed fifty or more armed humans and had suffered bullet wounds and stab wounds, he'd told his cousins to scatter their people to the winds, and had crashed into a terrace and broken some human females green house. And now he was in the hospital, drugged up and itching to do something stupid.

God, he must be cursed or something. "My name is Kakashi..." He as awkwardly as he tried to think of a last name and decided on his favorite one. A Japanese name to match his first name. "Hatake." Meaning a dry field.

The woman looked at him and smiled a little bit, her ruby eyes warming shining like polished gems. There was just something so...enthralling about the female that he almost reached out for her.

"My name is Uzu Namikaze."

Uzu Namikaze...

What a sweet name for a human female. Kakashi thought as he gave her a pained smile, hoping to keep her from noticing that he had just broken two of his fingers under the covers in an effort to control himself.

She was a pretty little thing. Tall, but not too tall. He figured that she would just barely come up to his shoulder if he were standing. She had a hauntingly beautiful face, soft pink lips, wide pretty exotic ruby colored eyes, long mid back length blond hair and such long legs and lush curves that his mouth went dry.

"Nice to meet you Miss Namikaze. Do you save total strangers from certain death often?" He asked in an effort to change the subject to anything other than him.

She frowned at him and leaned back in the chair next to the bed and crossed her long legs. And his eyes flickered to her pants legs, as he fantasized about the soft bare skin under neath the restraining fabric. "No. Not usually. But then again most people don't do a swan dive onto my patio either." He chuckled.

That was a very honest answer. And it was just adorable.

"Yeah...sorry about you're green house." He said awkwardly, hoping to keep her talking just a little bit longer. She shrugged, the lazy action pushing her breasts together nicely and his heart kicked into over drive in his chest.

Was it hot in here? Or had his body temperature spiked?

"No big. A I'll take some broken glass over a dead body any day." Uzu said with a small smile.

He gave a nervous laugh and made a mental note to pay for the damages that he had done to her property when the door opened and an attractive thirty something year old woman with dark shoulder length hair came in and looked at him, but it was her reaction to Uzu that really caught his attention.

The two women looked at each other for a second before the woman in the white lab coat finally spoke. "Well, this is a surprise. I thought for sure that your stalker would have buried you alive in a shallow grave by now. Did he finally give up on trying to kill you?"

Kakashi blinked at the woman's words and looked back at Uzu curiously as she thinned her lips a little bit before giving the dark haired woman a tight lipped smile and stood up. "Nah, he dropped by yesterday to tell me that I'd beg for him. So I had to hurt him."

The doctor smiled at Uzu. "It's good to see you alive and well gaki."

"You too granny-" Uzu said as she smiled back, then looked at Kakashi. "Take care of him for me."

"I will, but before you go I need you here for something." The doctor said as she walked over to the foot of the bed and grabbed Kakashi's chart and looked at it and made a humming sound.

"Okay, pretty boy, first question...are you single?" The doctor asked with a cheshire grin.

Kakashi blinked at the woman and realised that she was trying to gather information on him. "Uh...is your question relevant?" He wondered out loud. Wanting to know why she would want to know if he was single or not.

"Only if I want grandchildren" The dark haired woman said flippantly. "So are you? Cause I know this nice girl who would love to catch herself a nice guy like you."

"Uh...T-Tsunade..." Uzu sputtered beside him her face a fetching shade of pink.

Kakashi looked at her curiously as he caught the name and wondered if she and this outrageous woman knew each other well. From their little interaction earlier he would bet that they knew each other very well, but that could have simply been a friendly greeting between strangers.

"Yes. I'm single."

"Fabulous! Next question-do you have somewhere to stay right now?"

"Let me guess. You know this nice girl who might put me up for a while if I don't." Kakashi said in wary amusement as he looked away from those calculating brown eyes.

"How did you know?" Tsunade asked in mock surprise, her golden brown eyes wide as she leaned forward a little bit and rested her elbows on the bed on either side of his feet, making him more than a little self conscious about weather his feet were too big or smelled or something. It was a ridiculous thought to have, but he always thought things like that when he was in the presence of females.

He just didn't want to offend them in some way or another. Was that so wrong? "Uh. Lucky guess."

"Really? Huh. Well do you have somewhere to stay?" She asked again and he shook his head no after a second or so of hesitation. He hadn't exactly had time to go looking for a new home since he had crashed through Uzu's pent house window and been hauled off to the hospital and was currently being questioned by a crazy person.

"No."

"Great...Uzu can keep you then."

Kakashi went slack jawed in disbelief. What had she just said? Uzu could keep him? As in like a pet or something? No fucking way. He wasn't a pet! If anything he was a very large, very dangerous predator. And the crazy woman looked pleased with herself! Why did she look pleased with herself? Had he just missed something important?

Uzu raised her hand a little bit and drew his attention. "Tsunade I can't keep him."

"Sure you can. Just tie him to your bed."

"Wh-What?" Kakashi sputtered as he turned red and looked between the two women.

"I'm pretty sure that keeping him tied to my bed would be considered kidnapping, and possibly even rape. So no. I'm not keeping him."

"Damn right your not-"

Both women looked at him and Tsunade growled at him. "Shut up and stay out of this-" He went slack jawed again as his face turned a deeper red.

What the hell was wrong with this woman? Was she a patient of the psych ward? Tsunade looked at Uzu again and practically whined. "But I want grand babies! And you have to admit this guy would make an awesome sperm donor. Even if he is suicidal. Hey I know, take him home with you and go at it a few times and give him a reason to live."

"W-What?" Kakashi stuttered in outrage as he cupped himself under the blankets and turned as red as his left eye. His swimmers were being saved for his future mate dammit!

"Well I don't care if you want grand babies. I'm not holding this guy prisoner to make you happy."

"Yes you are." Tsunade said happily. Her grand daughter had risen to her bait nicely and now it was time to lay down the law since she knew something that Uzu didn't since confessing that he had been trying to kill himself.

And since he had nowhere to go and she couldn't release him into his own custody, Uzu would have to suck it up and take him home with her and keep an eye on him. Tsunade giggled happily. Finally her gaki was taking home a gorgeous man!

"I'll have your papers ready and signed in another thirty minutes."

"Hey wait-"

"Tsunade you can't!"

"Bye-bye kids. Play nice!" Tsunade said cheerfully, ignoring their protests as she left the room. Leaving the two stunned speechless.

Kakashi quietly went over everything that had happened so far in his mind then turned to Uzu and studied her reaction to all of this before asking. "What now?"

Ruby eyes turned to look at him and he got the distinct impression that the woman was ready to commit murder as she said in a dangerously calm voice. "Wait here while I go reason with her." She cracked her knuckles menacingly as she walked across the room to the door and Kakashi scooted down in his bed and stared at her back wide eyed.

Was she really going to try and reason with the woman? Or was she going to beat her to death?

Kakashi suddenly wasn't sure of what to do.

(**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************)

Okay...I didn't notice it until someone pointed it out, but Tsuande had been taken prisoner in an earlier chapter.

So, to avoid total confusion this woman's name is Tsuande too. But she isn't the normal Tsunade.

She's a different person with the same name.

Also I want to thank HatakeRyne and Cha's Aegis for their help on the plot bunnies for this story.

THANK YOU!