The rest of Percy's winter break had been uneventful. He had spent the majority of his time practicing the memory charm which he had read about in the book that he had gotten from the restricted section. It was the only thing that kept his mind from drifting off and thinking about Oliver Wood. He wanted so much to rid himself of those thoughts that he practiced all day and had nearly perfected the spell.
It all started coming along the day after he had decided that he was going to confront Oliver. To clear his mind, he had decided to focus only on his school work. This was something that Percy knew was a priority and with little difficulty read nearly all of his textbooks and was now dramatically ahead of the curriculum.
When he could no longer study to get ahead, he turned his attention to the memory charm. He had practiced it on owls in the Owlery.
"Take this to Arthur and Molly Weasley in Romania." he would instruct an owl as he handed it an envelope that contained no letter. The owl would take it obediently and before it could take off Percy would point his wand at it and cast the spell. It always resulted in the owl dropping the letter and staying put where it was.
Percy assumed that this meant his spells were working, but there was no way to know for sure until he cast it on a real person. And if they were working, how strong were they?
He was going to try it one last time, tomorrow all the students would return from break, but this time he was going to try and strengthen the spell.
Percy handed the owl an envelope which contained a letter that told Mr. and Mrs. Weasley about his sexual orientation. This was going to be his motivation to produce a stronger spell because he had no intentions at all of telling his parents that he was gay— not at this moment in his life anyway.
"Take this letter to Arthur and Molly Weasley in Romania." he said. The owl took it and was about to take flight when it was hit with a spell it did not expect. The usual result happened; the owl dropped the letter. Percy was disappointed and was about to try it again on another owl when he noticed that it began to act strange.
It was swaying back and forth with a look of utter confusion. It took a step forward from its resting place and plummeted to the ground creating a loud thud. Percy and the other owls stared.
The fallen creature struggled to get up and let out a loud screech. It expanded its wings and eyed them pleadingly as if to say 'please work.'
"Oh I'm so sorry little fella (the owl screeched)." Percy said with sincere regret. He assumed that he had completely wiped out its memory of how to fly.
Sorry as he was, there was nothing he could do except hope that it would be okay. It was getting late and he wanted to be well rested for tomorrow's confrontation. Plus, he was a prefect so he needed to be there when the students arrived and instruct them. With one last apology-filled look at the owl, he began the long walk back towards the castle.
The next morning at King's Cross station, Oliver Wood made his way through the crowded hall of the train. He wanted to find an empty compartment where he could be alone with his thoughts and think of what to say to Percy. There was no backing out; he was definitely going to have a talk with him.
He found one and quickly closed the door so that no one would follow him in. Oliver sat in the seat closest to the window because he liked to look at the landscape as the train moved. Normally, he would think about flying on a broom and playing Quidditch but today he was going to think of what he was going to tell Percy. How can you tell someone you'll never see them as more than a friend without completely breaking their heart? And for that matter, how can you tell someone that they should get over you without sounding conceited?
Oliver groaned. This was giving him a headache. He looked up at the grey sky which was threatening the world with rain. Just as the train was beginning to move, the door to the compartment slid opened and a girl walked in. Her hair was down over her face and she seemed not to notice Oliver.
"Oh. I thought this compartment was empty." she said surprised when she looked up. Oliver recognized her as Penelope Clearwater. Her eyes were puffy and she had tear marks on her cheeks. Oliver wondered why she was crying but he wasn't the type to pry into people's problems.
"'T's okay. We can share." he said.
"Thank you." she said and sat down opposite of him.
Oliver tried to ignore the fact that she kept giving him curious glances, and each time they increased in length.
"Something wrong?" he finally asked.
"You're Percy's friend aren't you?" she said without preamble.
"Er—yeah."
"I always see the two of you together." she said with a vacant tone.
Oliver began to wonder if she knew of what was going on between the two of them. He knew that Penelope fancied Percy and—perhaps—in order to get rid of her he told her that he was gay and had a crush on him.
"Must be nice." said Penelope.
"What?" Oliver asked.
"Having Percy actually wanting to spend time with you." she said resentfully.
Oliver didn't say anything because he didn't know what to say. He wasn't sure if Penelope was trying to hint that she knew about Percy being gay or simply trying to make a point that she was heartbroken.
Whatever it was, Oliver was glad that the two of them didn't say a word after that, though he did notice that the atmosphere of the compartment was a bit tense during the ride.
The train finally stopped at the Hogwarts station and Oliver was glad to get away from Penelope who had been crying silently the whole time. Stepping foot outside the train, Oliver could feel that there was a calm drizzle. He looked for Percy in the violent sea of heads that were all fighting to walk through the path that led to the castle.
Suddenly, he saw a flash a red and recognized it as the back of Percy's head. He was turned shouting something at a group of first years that was inaudible to Oliver where he stood. With great difficulty (he was going the opposite direction the crowd was headed) he made his way to where Percy stood.
"The feast is in an hour, for now just head to your dormitories!" Percy was shouting.
"You there! You can't—just" Percy had begun to yell at a first year who wasn't wearing his uniform but was taken aback by Oliver who had called his name from behind.
Percy turned to acknowledge that he had heard him but went back to telling off the first year who was trying desperately to get away.
"Go put on your uniform immediately! Or I will take action." he yelled at the scared first
"What?" Percy asked. He hadn't meant it to sound rude, but this unexpected approach from Oliver had made him nervous.
"I wanta talk." Oliver said.
"Okay, me too." Percy said curiously. He was a little relieved that he wasn't the only one wanting to talk things out.
"Today. Right now actually." Oliver said a little more assertively.
Percy nodded and said, "Just give me a sec."
A little while later, after Percy had made sure that all the students knew where to go, the two boys were making their way out to the Quidditch field where Oliver had suggested they go to have their talk.
Percy looked at Oliver for a second. He wondered what was going through his head…
Could it be? Percy thought. Could he feel the same way?
By the time they reached the Quidditch field it was raining a little harder (but not hard enough to deem the Quidditch field unsuitable for a chat) and an unexpected cold began to grow over the grounds.
Percy noticed that his breathe was now slightly visible and wished he had worn more layers.
"Before I left, I asked a house elf to bring this box to the Quidditch field when we arrived from King's Cross." Oliver said walking over to a large rectangular box that, when he opened it, Percy could see that it contained an eclectic assortment of balls and two clubs.
"We're not going to play Quidditch are we?" Percy asked sarcastically.
"No. I just want to beat the bludgers a bit." Oliver said. He grabbed a club and then unstrapped the restraint that was holding back a bludger that was desperately trying to break free. Instantly it shot up into the air for a few feet then turned around and hurled right back at Oliver.
Percy watched as Oliver concentrated and positioned himself in such a way that would insure he hit the bludger.
WHACK!
"So you have something to tell me?" Percy asked.
"Huh? Oh yeah," Oliver said as if he had forgotten that he was in company, "Sorry. I brought you out here 'cause it's the place I feel most comfortable. 'F I'd of taken you anywhere else, I don't think I could tell you what I need to tell you."
Percy couldn't help but smile like an idiot. Everything about this boy was so perfect and it drove Percy mad with desire; his imperfections were perfect. He also couldn't help but notice, even though the sky was grey and it was raining, that Oliver seemed to glow so much that Percy wouldn't have been surprised if he saw a halo hanging over his head.
"I'm going to make this quick and as easy." Oliver said. Percy just stood quietly watching the bludger heading back. They weren't looking at each other.
"Percy, I'm going to ask you to rid yourself of any hope that you may have involving the two of us being together…as more than just friends."
WHACK! Oliver hit the bludger again.
The noise the resonated from the bludger seemed to have been louder than before, so much so that Percy's ears were ringing. He felt disoriented and his eyes had swollen up with tears immediately. His breathes became short pants because he was afraid he was going to start sobbing. Had Oliver hit the bludger or had he hit Percy?
"I'll never love you…the way I would love a girl. Y'know?"
WHACK!
This time Percy let out an unexpected sob that sounded like a cry of pain inflicted by physical harm.
For the first time they looked at each other in the eye. Oliver was looking at him out of surprise. Percy was stared back at him for mercy.
"I—I c-can't…" Percy began to talk through desperate breathes of air. He felt as though he were underwater.
Oliver just stood there waiting for Percy to say he was going to say with an amused expression on his face. Percy didn't know how long they stood there waiting for him to stop sobbing.
WHACK!
"I'll never—be able to be 'just friends.'" Percy said when he had calmed down.
"But I want to stay friends."
"But we…we—can't."
"Why not?" Oliver asked with genuine query.
Percy's mouth dropped in disbelief. How thick can you be? Percy thought angrily. Couldn't he see that Percy wanted more than just friendship? Couldn't he see that this flame of desire had grown too big with the fuel of passion? He suddenly felt angry and embarrassed that he had fallen so deeply in love with someone who didn't appreciate it in the slightest.
"I'm leaving." Percy said and turned around to walk away.
As he took a step, he felt Oliver grab his robes the way he had done so many months ago.
"Tell me…right now." Oliver said assertively. Perhaps it was what Percy wanted to hear, but there seemed to be a trace of panic in his voice.
"Let go of me." Percy said trying to break free from his grasp.
"No, you're not leaving until you tell me." he said.
It was now raining hard enough that the Quidditch field seemed an inappropriate place for a chat. Their wet clothes were just starting to cling to their bodies. In the distance, the castle lights were starting to be visible signaling the sunset.
Percy waited a moment. He wished for words to come to him that would explain a fragment of what his heart felt. He thought that the simple dictionary definition of 'love' wasn't even worthy of starting an explanation because he was certain that what he felt for Oliver was far greater than anything one human being has ever felt for another…the idea was intangible, both physically and mentally.
At a loss for words, Percy simply said:
"I love you too much."
Oliver let go of Percy.
WHACK!
"Well then you're right." Oliver said after a while.
"What do you mean?" Percy asked as he turned around to face him.
"If that's how you feel…if that's really how you feel then I guess we can't even stay friends." Oliver said sadly. Percy could see in Oliver's face that he felt true regret in saying that and he saw, even though it was raining, an unmistakable tear.
"Why are you crying? I thought you didn't love me." Percy said angrily. He saw no reason for him to be crying. This was an attempt to make the situation about him.
"I did…I do."
"Wh—what?"
"You're a really good friend, mate."
At this, Percy began to cry harder than before. He couldn't resist temptation any longer. He stepped forward and grabbed Oliver's head in both his hands and, finally, after months of fantasizing, experienced the feeling of Oliver's lips against his.
He experienced heaven—for only a second.
Percy was surprised to find himself on the ground. His clothes became completely caked with mud. He looked up at Oliver who was yelling.
"BLOODY HELL! I TOLD YOU I'M NOT GAY!"
"I DON'T UNDERSTAND! YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!" Percy yelled from the ground.
"ONLY AS A FUCKING FRIEND!"
Percy put a hand to his chest…his heart might be literally breaking. He was crying. He was on the floor. This was the lowest he had ever felt in his entire life.
He looked up at Oliver who was getting ready to strike the bludger coming back at him with great speed.
This boy, this beautiful boy, who was so close to him but a thousand miles away…had caused him so much pain. Percy couldn't understand why. All he had ever shown him was love. He hated the fact that he was going to have to suffer forever when Oliver would probably be sad for a day or two and then be back to his old self.
He wanted to see him in pain. He wanted so much to witness Oliver feeling the same way that he felt.
Percy brandished his wand and pointed it straight at Oliver.
"EXPELLIARMUS!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.
The club flew out of Oliver's hand and landed twenty feet away.
WHACK! The bludger cannoned ball straight into Oliver's chest sending him backwards. It kept coming back down and striking him everywhere on his body as he tried to get away.
Still not satisfied, Percy waved his wand and both clubs and they flew up into the air obediently and then darted towards Oliver. They began to strike him unmercifully.
"PERCY! I'M SORRY…MAKE IT STOP." Oliver cried out. His voice was slurred and it was apparent that he was taking a lethal beating.
Percy ignored this cry for help and turned around back towards the castle.
Do you love me now? I walk away from you…like you walked away from when I needed, when I wanted you most. I leave you on the ground in pain as you left me: fallen and broken.