Thank you to everyone for reading this story and a bigger thank you to those who leave me reviews and for sticking with me :) I am very grateful to you.
I also apologize for all the sadness lately, hoping things will get better real soon for you all.
This part was written by myself and my chum, who I want to say a massive thank you too! If it wasn't for you this part really wouldn't be happening today ha ha.
xXx
A week later.
As Clarisse stared up at the ceiling letting her alarm go off for several seconds when she heard a buzzing, looking towards her nightstand to see her cell flashing. Grabbing hold of it to see who was calling, when she see it was Joseph she put it down on the bed beside her, letting it ring out as she turned the alarm off.
Rolling onto her back with a sigh knowing she needed to get up, staying still for a few seconds before climbing out of bed. Getting in the shower she stood under it letting the water pour over her face for a while. Once she was ready she headed back into the bedroom, checking her phone to see she had a voice mail message.
Putting the phone to her ear, letting the message play out as she sat on the edge of the bed.
"Hi, it's just me. You're probably in the shower or getting dressed at this time but I wanted to catch you before you started your day. I know I've been away for a week, but I'm coming home today. I think we need to talk about everything. I'm sorry for what I said last week about everything, I truly am sorry. Anyway I hope we can talk today, I miss you... I love you..."
Looking at the phone, she deleted the message and grabbed what she needed before heading downstairs, finding Rose sorting out Lena's breakfast.
"Thank you Rose." She said grabbing a mug and got some coffee.
"No worries." She smiled over at her as she stood drinking her coffee "Would you like me to get you any breakfast?" She asked.
"No thank you, I will get something from the Palace." She said checking the time "I need to leave in a couple minutes." She said finishing of her coffee.
"I thought you were taking me to school today?" Lena whispered and watched her look over while putting her mug down.
"I know I was darling," Clarisse moved and lent on the counter where she was sat "I know I promised you, but something came up." She said taking her hands "I'm sure Rose won't mind taking you, do you Rose?"
"No of course not." Rose said while looking over at them as Clarisse looked back at Lena.
"Okay." Lena said sadly with a sigh and looked down.
"And hey, Livy is going to be picking you up after school with Ava." She smiled as Lena looked up "Remember you're all going to Paris for the weekend?"
"I know, I wish you were coming too." She said sadly while sitting up "But I understand."
"Are you sure?" She asked as Lena nodded.
"Yes, I do." Lena nodded again and looked at her while moving forward and wrapped her arms around her neck.
"Okay sweetheart," Clarisse whispered while wrapping her arms around her "I will make it up to you, I promise." She whispered and kissed her cheek.
"You don't need to, it's fine." Lena whispered while pulling back and climbed from the stool "Bye." She said and walked out as Rose and Clarisse watched her.
"Thank you Rose." Clarisse said while looking towards her "Thank you for everything."
"No trouble." She nodded "And please don't worry about Lena while you are away?" She said moving closer and hugged her "She will be just fine, I promise."
"Thank you Rose." Clarisse nodded as they stepped apart "Well I best get going."
"Ok, see you in a couple weeks." Rose said and watched her walk out.
Heading out the door a moment later as Lena sat at the top of the stairs watching her, then went to her room to get ready for school.
Early that afternoon Joseph arrived and headed up to the loft, knocking on Clarisse's office door to find it empty. Heading back downstairs with a sigh to find Pierre walking into the hallway, reading a letter when he looked up to see Joseph stood watching him from the stairs.
"What are you doing here? I thought you would have went with Mom?" Pierre questioned.
Looking at him with a confused look on his face "What do you mean? Where is she?" He asked.
"She went to London. Didn't she tell you?" Pierre answered and folded up the letter, putting it in his back pocket.
"No she didn't tell me!" He exclaimed as he stormed up and down the hallway before finally stopping, turning and punching the stone wall, taking Pierre by surprise. "God Damn that woman!" He exclaimed as he rubbed is other hand across his now bleeding knuckles "I left her a voice mail letting her know I was coming home and this is what she does!" Turning back to face Pierre "Answer me this Son did she leave for business or herself?"
"Umm…I…I think she left for a little of both. I know she has a meeting with the Queen this afternoon but that is only one day but she had Ally clear her schedule for the next two weeks. I'm sorry Dad I thought she told you and we all thought that you were going with her since she extended the trip."
Taking a deep breath Joe moved wrapping his arm around Pierre hugging him "I'm sorry Son I didn't mean to take my frustration with your Mother out on you. Can you forgive me?" He asked.
"There's nothing to forgive Dad." He said hugging him back "Are you going after her?" He asked as they stepped apart.
"I'm not sure what good it will do at this point." Joe said picking up his bag from the floor while shaking his head.
"Dad, she needs you whether she is willing to admit it or not. This past week she has been unbearable to be around, she needs you to force her to grieve otherwise it is going to consume her." Pierre said sadly.
"I know that, but you know no one can force your Mother to do anything she isn't ready for." Joseph answered, both nodding their heads in agreement.
Both stood in silence for several seconds before Pierre smiled over at him "If I book you a flight will you at least try and reason with her?" Pierre practically begged.
"Schedule me a flight, as you knew I was going anyways." Joseph smirked over at him as Pierre nodded. Turning to walk away before stopping and looked back "Do you happen to know where I can find Shades and Emma?" He asked.
"He was in her nursery a few minutes ago." Pierre answered with a smile while grabbing his phone from his pocket.
"Thanks Son, for everything." Joseph smiled.
"You're welcome." Smiling slightly in his direction before calling to make the arrangements for the flight to London as Joseph made his way up to the nursery.
Standing in the doorway Joe watched as Shades tried to console Emma as he whispered looking down at her "I wish your Mother was here, she would know what to do."
Walking up behind Shades touching him on the back "You are doing a fine job." He said running his hand over Emma's head "She is so beautiful." He smiled and placed a kiss on the top of her head.
"Yeah she is, reminds me so much of Erica." Shades said looking down at the squirming baby "I think she misses her Grandma." He said looking back up at Joseph.
"I think you may be right." Joseph nodded "May I?" He asked as he reached out for Emma.
"Sure." Shades nodded and passed Emma to him "If it's okay with you I need to run and ask Pierre something I shouldn't be long." He asked and watched Joe as he kissed Emma's head.
"Of course, take your time." Joe said smiling down at the baby in his arms as he moved over to the rocker.
Rocking the baby in his arms as tears pricked his eyes "Your Mother would have been so proud of you," He whispered "God I miss her." He said wiping the tears from his cheeks as Emma just stared up at him "You are special you know that? If it wasn't for having you in this world it would have been unbearable." He whispered while taking her hand and kissed her fingers softly before looking into her big blue eyes "And everyone thinks that your Grandmother is the one holding us together and maybe she is but you my angel," He spoke softly as he ran his thumb across her tiny hand "Are the one holding her together." He whispered.
Rocking her a few minutes more he moved to place her in the crib. Looking down at her sleeping soundly "I promise I'll bring her back if not for me, then for you." He whispered "I won't let her run away anymore."
In the car ride over to the hotel from the airport, Joe had been running through scenarios in his head trying to mentally prepare himself for seeing Clarisse. Pulling up in front of the hotel Joe made his way to the lift having already received the room number from Pierre earlier that day.
Clarisse had had a pleasant time visiting with the Queen earlier today and was just stepping out of the bath when she heard a knock on the door. Securing her robe "Just a minute." She called out making her way across the suite to the door, upon opening it she saw her Husband standing before her. Narrowing her eyes "What are you doing here?" She almost growled at him.
"It's good to see you too." He said pushing pass her and into the suite as he threw his bag on the sofa.
Closing the door behind him she leaned up against it, leaving her hand on the handle waiting for his answer and when it didn't come she asked again "You didn't answer my question, what are you doing here?" She said folding her arms.
"I could ask you the very same?" He said taking a seat on the sofa making himself at home trying to keep his voice calm, he knew that yelling would get him nowhere fast.
"I had a meeting." She stated matter of factly.
"For two weeks Clari? Come on you have to do better than that, I was your HOS did you think I didn't check your itinerary?" He said looking across the coffee table to where she now sat in the arm chair.
"Fine. Yes I took two weeks off. Is that a crime?" She asked challenging him.
"No, not at all I'm sure you needed the time to get away." He said nonchalantly while standing to walk towards the window but halfway there he turned back to look at her "I just find it very convenient that you decided to leave when you knew I was coming back home." Turning he continued on his way to the window looking out over the park "Are you running away from your pain Clari or just me?" He asked never taking his eyes from the window although he watched her reflection in the glass as she wiped a stray tear from her cheek.
"I want you to leave." She said standing making her way to the door, pausing she looked back over her shoulder to see him watching her "NOW!" She exclaimed while turning back to him "How dare you come in here acting like nothing has happened and then start making accusations like that towards me, again!" She said fighting hard to keep her tears at bay.
"Answer my question first. Are you running away from your pain or me? Because if you are running away from me," He said closing the gap between them so that he stood in front of her but not invading her personal space "Then it will be the hardest thing I have had to do but I will leave and let you have your space but if you are running from your pain which is what I honestly think you are running from then I'm not going anywhere." He said as softly as he could manage.
"GET OUT!" She demanded.
"Answer the question!" He shouted back at her.
"I will call security Joseph, I'm serious GET OUT!" She snapped back.
"Really? Go ahead and call them…least you forget who I am? They are not going to throw ME out Clarisse." He answered watching as she started getting angry.
"Damn it Joseph I don't need this now!" She yelled turning her back to him while folding her arms.
"You're not the only one who lost their child that day Clarisse!" He shouted, not taking his eyes from her.
Turning on her heel, her eyes narrowed "Joseph don't you dare take..."
"Don't I dare what? Raise my voice to you! It seems that this is the only way to get your attention these days." Lowering his voice back to normal "Clarisse I love you but you are going to let your grief consume you if you don't stop this." He whispered.
"But..."
"No buts...I know you think this is worse for you somehow because you have already lost a child before Erica but Clarisse I grieved the loss of Phillipe as well. He may not have been my child by birth but that didn't lessen the pain I felt when he was taken from our lives so unexpectedly." He whispered moving closer to her as his tears ran down his face "I let you fall into a dark place with Phillipe because I wasn't sure if it was okay for me to feel such pain but I'm not letting that happen again and your right you don't need this." He said as he stood watching her as she fought with her inner demons "You need to grieve Clarisse, you need to allow yourself to grieve the loss of OUR child." He whispered.
"I did grieve Joseph at the hospital, at the funeral, and for weeks after." She retorted.
"No Clarisse that wasn't you that was grieving that was the Queen, I saw you slip on your Queen mask and you have been wearing it ever since. Now you need to let Erica's Mother and my wife grieve the loss of our baby girl." He said raising his hand and cupped her cheek for a second before wrapping his arms around her shoulders "I love you Clari Bear and I can't lose you too, I need you, we need each other." He whispered.
No longer able to bury her grief she turned in his arms burying her face into his neck as they sank to the floor crying in each others arms, drawing strength from the love they share for one another. Joe ran his hand up and down her back as he held her close to his chest as she finally allowed herself to grieve with him over the loss of their child.
After she had regained some composure she looked up from his chest speaking softly "Joseph, I'm so sorry for the way I have been acting and I am sorry I wasn't there for you when Phillipe died. I know he was your Son too, you raised him as your own from before he was even born, you were there for me when Rupert died and promised to look after me and my boys, it was wrong to block you out." She said pulling back a little while brushing her tears away "This is so much worse this time," Taking a breath "Everywhere I go I expect to see her or hear her voice and then there's Emma...God she looks so much like her Joseph." She whispered as the sobs returned "She has her beautiful big blue eyes too." She cried.
With his voice tight and tears running down his check "Shh…" He whispered stroking her back once again as she moved into his embrace "I know she does, I know she does." He said softly as she lifted her head.
"No parent should ever have to bury their children, it's their job to bury us." She whispered, trying to compose herself but her emotions took hold as she sat crying against his chest. Feeling Joseph wrap his arms around her, holding her tight.
"I agree." He whispered against her hair.
After consoling each other Joseph finally had to stand, pulling Clarisse up with him.
"How about we went away together, we could go to Henry's beach house in Long Island for the remainder of your time off?" He whispered, brushing her hair back out of her face.
"When did you want to leave?" She asked and wiped her eyes with a tissue.
Pulling her as close as he could and wrapped his arms around her "We can go whenever you want to?" He whispered as he stroked her back, feeling her wrap her arms around his waist.
"Well how about we have something to eat," She whispered lifting her head "Then we will go?"
"That sounds like a plan." He whispered and kissed her softly.