Sorry this was so long in the making. I wasn't very inspired and I was pretty busy over the last few days. I got a new puppy and boy is he a lot of work! But here is is. Brace yourselves, here there be drama ;)

The drama doesn't end when we enter Shinra's apartment. Shinra doesn't answer the door, even after I knock for the fifth time, so I take the liberty of opening it for him. Forcibly. How many times have I done that now? I've lost track. We enter the living room to see Shinra's hand on Celty's shaking shoulder. Izaya stops dead in his tracks at the sight of the dulluhan and I'm afraid he'll lose it.

"Celty was supposed to be on the job this morning," I remind Shinra while glaring at the underground doctor.

"Yes she was, and I'm sorry about this, Shizuo. Celty had a run-in during her job and she's a little shaken up. I can still look at Izaya though," Shinra explains. "Will you be alright if I step out to look at Izaya, dearest?" he asks. Celty types something out on her PDA and Shinra stands up. "Shizuo can stay with you in my absence," he says patting her on the shoulder then he walks up to Izaya and puts a hand on his shoulder. "Why don't we go to the back and look at you?"

Izaya hesitates slightly then sets his jaw and follows Shinra. He looks back at me once and I smile encouragingly at him. He manages to smile back before the door shuts behind them.

I sit on the couch next to Celty. "What happened?" I ask a little aggressively. I'm very protective of Celty. Of all the people I care about, really. If anything happens to them making someone pay is the least I can do with this cursed strength.

Celty types on her PDA as quickly as she can with her shot nerves. Her hand is shaking so much that when she shows me the message it's full of spelling errors, the first ones I've ever seen her make.

[The traffcic police caught up ro me while I eas doing the courier job.]

I clench my hand into a fist. Why can't those traffic police leave Celty alone? She's the least of their worries, she never does anything wrong. They should be worrying about the gangs, or me, or Izaya. Then I remember that Izaya and I haven't really been causing trouble leaving them a lot of time to be concerned with other things. Like Celty. That's it, I have to get back to work. I'll talk to Shinra about it as soon as he's done taking care of Izaya.

"Don't worry, they won't be bothering you for very long, Celty," I assure her. "After all, you're the black biker, impossible to catch."

She brightens a little bit, but I can tell she's still getting over the fright.

[Thanks, Shizuo.]

She manages to type out the message without any spelling errors this time. I take this as a sign that she'll be okay. After that we just sit in silence. I enjoy the sunlight while she continues to try and relax. I wish there was something I could say, but I don't know what. I feel like I should be very angry, but for some reason I'm not. It surprises me.

Shinra comes back in with Izaya. He looks like he held up by himself okay, but he immediately runs over and curls up on the couch next to me.

"Can I talk to you for a moment, Shizuo," Shinra asks motioning for me to follow him. I stand up and Izaya stands as well. "Just you, Shizuo, if that's alright," Shinra amends.

"Can you stay here by yourself for a while?" I ask Izaya.

He nods and I step out into the hall with Shinra. He walks down the hall until we're in the examining room and then closes the door behind us. I lean again the examining table a little more casually then I should considering what it might have been covered with at some point and Shinra turns to face me.

"He's doing well, Shizuo. You've been doing a great job with him. Physically he's healthy and soon I think the only evidence of his kidnapping will be the scars. But mentally he's still shattered."

Wow, I hope it didn't take a whole half an hour for him to figure that out. Anyone who knew Izaya could tell you that. He likes to play children's games, he has the mindset of someone much younger then him, he's timid, and fearful. Honestly you'd be hard pressed to find some similarities.

"But he's also recovered enough that I think it would be a good idea to start reminding him who he is, who he really is, that is," Shinra says smiling a little. I don't think it's very funny. In fact, this is starting to give me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I think of Izaya when he looks up at me with his wide, innocent eyes and can't imagine turning him back into a soulless jackal.

"Shinra, are you sure we should be doing this? It might be a better idea for Izaya to just stay that way he is. I mean think about it. If Izaya stays the way he is then maybe he'll become a better person because of it. And if we turn him back he'll just start terrorizing people and making everyone miserable again," I say.

Shinra's expression sours. It's not what he wants to hear. I probably wouldn't like to hear it either if I were him.

"Shizuo-"

"I know, I know, but, Shinra, he's afraid of what he might become and he doesn't even know." A pleading tone has entered my voice. "He doesn't have to be like that, he can be different I know he can. It's better-"

"It's better you're way, Shizuo?" Shinra asks acidly. He slides his glasses farther up his nose and the bright lights reflect off of them menacingly. "I know you've become protective of Izaya, but he's not your pet," he spits the last word out angrily. "The real Izaya would want his life back. This Izaya is just an empty shell of the real thing. It's not real. The real Izaya would want his life back and he would kill anyone who got in the way of that. You would do the same thing. What would you want if you were in his position? He's helpless! You wouldn't want him to keep you from remembering who you were if he thought that it would be better if you never remembered how to use your strength. What would you do if your positions were reversed and in the name of 'what's better for everyone' or 'love' or whatever your reason is for suggesting this is he decided it would be better for you to be a scared, cowering, pathetic human who was really only a shadow of what he really was and never remembered exactly who he was supposed to be?" Shinra finishes his speech breathing heavily.

Suddenly I can't meet his gaze anymore and I look down at the floor. It's white and I can see a few faint spots of dried blood on it. I move my foot to cover them. There. All better. It's like nothing was ever there.

"I guess…I wouldn't…like that," I admit slowly. Since when did I become so fond of the flea that I would pick a fight with Shinra to keep him with me? Maybe I should get my head checked. I can't be thinking straight.

"Good," Shinra says. "So you know what you have to do?"

I nod. The sick feeling in my stomach is spreading through my body as I think of what I'll have to do to Izaya.

For the next hour or so Shinra explains ways to help Izaya remember who he is without bringing it on to quickly and destroying his psyche, more then it's already ruined I guess. I can see the care he's put into making these plans when I see how time consuming they're going to be and how detailed every aspect is. It's kind of overwhelming to hear it all in one sitting. It's good to know that he cares enough about Izaya's well-being to get into a plan this detailed. If it took an hour to explain I can't imagine how long it took to come up with.

"Do you think you can do that?" Shinra asks.

I nod and Shinra opens the door. I stand up and follow him back down the hall. When we reach the living room we find Celty on the couch with Izaya curled up next to her. They're both laughing over something and I shoot a meaningful glance at Izaya. Shinra glares back fiercely and I look away. It's not that he scares me, it's that every time he looks at me like that he makes me feel like a horrible person. All this time I thought I was doing the right thing, what if I've messed up again? The only way to avoid that seems to be going along with Shinra's plan and I don't want to do that either. But what choice do I have?

"Come on, Izaya," I say in a quiet voice. Izaya jumps up grinning and then instantly stops as soon as he sees my face.

"What is it, Shizu-chan?" he asks worry lines appearing on his forehead. It makes him look years older and even though I've never seen Izaya worried before I can see an echo of the old Izaya. Maybe this is for the best.

"Nothing," I say forcing a smile. "Let's go. We need to stop somewhere before we head home. I don't want to walk home in the dark."

"Okay." Izaya doesn't quiet seem convinced though. Stupid people watching psychopath.

As soon as we get out onto the street Izaya jumps in front of me. I'm so lost in thought that I nearly walk right over him before I notice.

"Izaya! Get out of the way," I snap. My fight with Shinra is making me irritable and I don't have the patience to deal with Izaya's monkeying around right now.

"Not until you tell me what's really wrong," he says stubbornly crossing his arms. "What did Shinra tell you? It was about me, wasn't it?"

I shift my gaze away from his fiery eyes trying to think of something to tell him.

"I thought as much," Izaya says, almost to himself. "What did he tell you?"

"Just...that you can stop taking your sleeping pill," I say. It's the first step in Shinra's plan. He's hoping Izaya will remember more when he's not being drugged in he's sleep. It's because people process information in their sleep or something and he thinks that if Izaya's brain isn't drugged he'll be able to connect the memory triggers to old memories more successfully. I didn't really understand it.

"That's not what I mean," Izaya says crossing his arms over his chest. He's starting to look dangerous, like the old Izaya. "He told you something about who I was. What did he tell you?"

"That's not what he told me," I say.

"Stop dodging my questions! I need to know, Shizuo!" he yells.

"I thought you didn't want to know!" I yell back.

"I changed my mind, I have to know. Just because I was that person doesn't mean I have to act like them," Izaya yells. I'm starting to wonder if Shinra had him on other drugs I didn't know about because he doesn't seem as subdued as he used to be.

"Shinra said you had to find out for yourself," I say, which is actually what Shinra said. He didn't want Izaya to realize who he was before he remembered for himself because it would cause him to treat his old personality as someone else's personality and not his own.

Izaya's glare deepens and then softens. He grina devilishly. "Well then let's find out who I am then. What do we do first?"

I let my head fall backward and stare up at the sky. Shinra is right. Even Izaya, who was so scared about remembering he was on the verge of tears not long ago, is ready to get his memories back. This has to be the right thing to do. I just wish Izaya wouldn't be so…..endearing when he was like this. It would be easier to help him then.

"First things first. We go and get you some new clothes."

Shinra was hoping that Izaya's trademark jacket was still somewhere in his home since his kidnappers probably weren't too anxious to hand it over to us if they had it. I'm assuming.

We walk in silence for most of the way. For all of the way actually. I'm not feeling very chatty and Izaya is busily watching people and casting anxious glances in my direction. It's a long walk too. I have long legs, and I am perfectly in shape, but Izaya doesn't have either of those advantages and as we make our way through Shinjuku he starts to show signs of fatigue. By the time we make it to his aparmtent he looks exhausted and sweat is beginning to dampen his hair, sticking it to the back of his neck and forehead. When he starts panting I deliberately start to ignore him. Assisting Shinra with his plot to help Izaya regain his memories means hating Izaya and I'd better start relearning how to do that now.

He's so weak, I tell myself. He can't even walk this far by himself-you'd better help him before he gets exhausted-what?! No! I wish I could control my thoughts a little better. Most of me seems to want to care about Izaya. Great. I can see how that's going to turn out when he's armed and dangerous again. I imagine Izaya getting his memories back as we're walking right now and as soon as I turn to help him he stabs me in the stomach. I shiver and slide away from him. It's a chilling image because for some reason in my imagination I'm not super strong and I just fall to the ground, bleeding and dying, as Izaya stands over me and laughs licking the blood off of his knife and smiling triumphantly like some sort of otherworldly demon. Suddenly I'm able to put a lot of space between us and by the time we get to Izaya's house the Izaya is completely exhausted and I've completely terrorized myself as my imagination ran away with me.

Shinra had a spare key, some sort of forgery I suspect, and I use it to get into to Izaya's apartment. Even though I could just bust the door down Shinra made me promise to use the key. Once we're inside Izaya and I stop and stare for different reasons. I'm stunned to be inside the flea's home. I've never seen it before and….it's unnerving. I want to leave as soon as I can, but Izaya isn't unnerved. He walks through the first room as if in a daze touching everything and staring with wide eyes. I remain quiet and let him be. Shinra would want me to. Izaya sits down on a desk chair and gently kicks the ground spinning the chair in slow circles. A ghost of a smile appears on his lips and he spins the chair a little faster. I decide to try and find a new coat for Izaya as soon as possible. It's creeping me out being in here. I can't shake the feeling that the real Izaya is just going to pop out and kill me for breaking into his house.

I shake my head trying to get that thought out of my head.

It's just an empty house, I tell myself impatiently. There's nothing here.

I find Izaya's bedroom and stop dead in my tracks. I'm not sure if it was always there and I didn't notice or if the signs of struggle only start here, but there was definitely a fight in this room. Izaya's familiar furry jacket has been shoved under the bed and only a furry piece of hood is sticking out. I quickly retrieve it and take in the rest of the scene. Sheets and pillows from the bed are scattered everywhere and blood stains cover everything in the room. Someone was ruthlessly attacked here, no doubt about it. I nervously light a cigarette hoping that the smoke will calm me down. The shear amount of blood covering everything is enough to make me dizzy. Whoever attacked Izaya here wasn't afraid to hurt him-badly.

I quickly raid Izaya's closet and leave his bedroom firmly closing the door behind me. Izaya doesn't have to see that no matter what Shinra thinks.

When I rejoin Izaya back on the first floor he's still sitting at the desk, but he booted up the computer and now he's fooling around on it. I wonder how he managed to remember the password.

"Ready to go?" I ask. This house is full of the ghosts of violence. I want to get out of it, and not just because it's Izaya's house.

Izaya nods and switches the computer off.

Izaya: Awwwwwwwwwww Shizu-chan cares about me. So sweet!

Me: Only Celty and Shinra are talking this time and don't be sarcastic Izaya. *drags him off by his hood*

Izaya: awwwww author-chan is no fun.

Shinra: My poor lovebird being chased by the police like that, you must have been so scared!

Celty [It was pretty scary, but I think I'll be fine now. Izaya tried his best to cheer me up while you were talking with Shizuo.]

Shinra: what?!

Celty: Yeah, he's actually really sweet like this. Maybe we shouldn't change him back.

Shizuo: That's what I said!

Me: You're not supposed to be talking either!

*while I try to wrestle Shizuo away Izaya gets away from me*

Izaya: Doesn't anyone love me the way I was before and want me back?! This story is kind of getting depressing for me.

Shinra: Just wait till the next chapter. I read some of it while she was typing and it doesn't look good for you.

Izaya: Great.

Celty [You could try being a little more likeable you know]

Izaya: Where's the fun in that?

Celty [You could at least try not to hurt people.]

Izaya: But you can only see the best human emotions when they're suffering or in pain. That's the only way to know what's someone's really like.

Shizou: So since you're supposed to be suffering in this story does that mean-

Izaya: IT'S JUST A FANFIC I WOULD NEVER ACT LIKE THIS IN REAL LIFE!