Chapter 11

Three weeks later... and Imogen felt cold.

Dressing for bed felt like a monotonous, robotic task as she let her unlaced dress slip from her shoulders, stepping out of the pooled material for her ladies in waiting to whisk it away. Her eyes were glassy as they slid the pretty, lace nightgown over her head.

Across the bedroom, Thor stripped as carelessly as if they were alone and not accompanied by the handful of maids. He didn't seem at all bothered as he rid himself shamelessly of his clothing until he was stood in just his trousers.

Stepping to the bed, he pulled the sheets back. "Have you fed Shelby for the night?" he asked quietly, eyes lowered.

Imogen's were glazed as she answered. "Yes."

Shelby was sleeping for longer, needing fewer feeds during the night. It was good; Imogen needed her rest now. She slipped into deep, coma-like sleeps and she liked it that way - too deep for dreams. She knew she'd only dream of him, of her lost little boy, and she wasn't sure she could bear that.

Her hand roamed over the bumps of her stomach as the maids loosely laced up her nightgown at the back, mind wondering wistfully. There should still be a baby there, she thought. She should still have her child growing inside her for another month before he'd be ready to come into the world. Everyday, she felt and looked at her body and knew there was that part of her missing, that part that should still be there.

"I have a surprise for you." Thor purred, wondering around the end of the bed, sheets now neatly folded back. Imogen glanced up to his grin with dull eyes.

Grinning...happily... gone was the man who had sobbed into her dress in the training room after the funeral. Thor had moved on. He'd had to, she guessed. The court had leapt on him with duty and matters and business as soon as the next morning had risen, as if they hadn't just had the worse evening of their lives just the day before.

Imogen hadn't been so lucky. She couldn't just move on. She couldn't forget. It weighed on her conscience so heavily; the child's death was her doing, and there was nothing she could do to change it. She couldn't even bring justice to the woman who had started it.

She was useless. She'd well and truly failed her boy.

The maids hands fell away from her and she let them dismiss themselves as Thor slunk closer, looking bright and happy. Imogen just felt cold. Dark. The opposite of him.

"I'm making a minor adjustmet to the council rooms of the palace," he went on slyly, eyes shining mischeviously.

The frown dug into her brow first.

Adjustment... slowly, the life started to come back to her eyes as she drank in what he'd just said. What kind of adjustment? The rooms had stayed exactly the same through reign after reign after reign - why change them now? For what? "What kind of adjustment?" she asked warily.

Thor stepped closer smoothly and closed the gap between them, hands finding her waist gently. The mischevious look in his eyes made her nervous.

She stayed still and stiff as his hands ran up and down her sides, the thunder god clearly just holding back his excitement. "I am having your throne added to them." he finally breathed, eyes gleaming so much they were like the flash of cosmic stars, so blue, so beautiful.

Imogen sucked in a breath and held it, eyes wide as his words slowly sank in. She only just resisted her jaw falling open.

Thor grinned on shamelessly, hands winding up from her waist and to her back, easing them closer together. His lips grazed her cheek as he settled them by her ear. "So you can join me." he whispered enticingly.

Imogen's head was thick and clotted with thought as Thor slowly pulled back, shimmering eyes finding hers. Emotion flared up inside her, clashing violently. She wasn't sure whether to burst into loving tears or smack him for being such an idiot. Heat engulfed her chest and she let her rage carry her for a moment, savouring feeling something other than regret and numbness.

Then the hot tears pricked at her eyes though, and she gasped back a sob, letting the more tender emotion flood forth and consume her. Her beautiful, wonderful husband... doing that for her...

"I have also brought in an order that business ends at sunset, and only I can declare exceptional circumstances." He added on, fingers reaching her face and lacing through her hair, easing her mouth closer to his. "I can come home every night. To you."

The sob jumped from her lips and the tears ran over her cheeks, but Thor's fingers caught and held her wrist as her hands flew to cover her mouth. They were trembling.

He claimed her mouth with his lips instead. He fluttered his eyes shut and kissed her deep, finger combing through her hair softly. He just let her consume him, letting her fill his mind and senses. The last month had been one hell of a wake-up call about just how vital Imogen was to him.

She kissed back sloppily, clumsily, trying in vain to curb her tears and sobs. She let Thor take control, carrying her as he pulled her into his arms.

There was nothing enticing about it as he brushed his lips off hers and kissed her wet cheeks sweetly, pulling her tightly against him. He tucked his chin over the top of her head and he held her against his chest, fingers stroking her back through the fine lace of her nightdress. He cradled her as she sobbed quietly into his skin.

"You are going to come first from now on." he sighed, fluttering his eyes shut as he felt her suck in a breath against him, holding her tight. "In all things."

He'd been thinking about it for a while. Ever since he'd been crowned, things had changed, and not for the better. It was taking a strain on his marriage. He didn't want to be gone for weeks at a time, only to see his wife to fuck her and then be gone in the morning to disappear for another week. He wanted to love her. To cherish her. And thinking over the last few months, he couldn't remember doing anything nice with his wife at all.

He barely saw her or his daughter. The last few weeks he'd seen more of her than the months before it combined! And that was only because she needed his comfort. Because he couldn't bear to leave her to greive alone, knowing how badly losing their son had affected her.

"I may be a lot of things but I am a husband first and I cannot neglect my wife anymore." he vowed on, guilt wrenching at his heart. "It was that misguided duty that led to me almost losing you."

That was when things had changed, he thought. When she'd almost died giving birth to his son... and he'd almost let her.

"You nearly died and I nearly didn't get there in time." he whispered. "It made me realise just how much you meant to me, and how close I came to letting you slip away."

He still remember the horrified skip of his heart as Imogen had gone limp on the bed that fateful day and he'd thought he'd finally lost her. Would she had even come back to him if he hadn't been there to coax her, to order her consciousness? He wasn't sure, and that frightened him. She might have given up, died...

If he had been there any later, he would have been widowed. And for what? What had kept him? Discussions with the court. Not even important discussions! There was no brink of war, or pending threat - just talks of poverty. Not urgent at all. Not urgent enough to let his wife die.

He'd never have forgiven himself if he'd let Imogen die for the sake of business. Those pompous rich old men of the court had almost cost Thor the love of his life and for that, he now resented them.

"Never again." he growled determined, expression hardening. His arms clenched tight around her. "From now on, all of Asgard will know that you are the light in my eye and the joy in my heart. You are more important than anything, Imogen."

His mouth dipped to the side and pressed a chaste kiss to her hair, inhaling her sweet scent. His whole mindset had changed now. Now he knew what was important.

He couldn't stop being king, but he would at least have Imogen at his side this time, not just leaving her at home like a good little wife. He would have her to stand with him. That was why he was having the thrones fitted; so he could care for the kingdom and for her at the same time.

He knew she was lonely. That she missed him. And even though it wasn't the same, it was still something. It was still being together.

And it set his priorities straight. His wife was important. She didn't come second to the court and kingdom - she surpassed them. Thor didn't care about them, or their disapproval - gods only knew they would disapprove! - but his wife needed him and he valued that more than their opinion.

He wanted it for so many reasons, for her to be there. So he could make sure she was happy; that she was eating, that she wasn't sad... she'd been so sad since the baby had gone. He could hardly bear it. He just wanted to see her smile again.

And he wanted her to make him a better man. He hated the court now for what they'd done.. and he was going to damn well show it. He would show them how their opinion had been replaced as his most valued. Imogen would be at his side, his ear ready to hear her advice, her gentle touch. He'd always thought it would be good to have a more reasonable voice to listen to than the war-worthy warriors in the council rooms.

He needed Imogen, just as much as she needed him. She reminded him why he wanted to be king. Not to be the court's dog - to make a difference, for the better.

Imogen sniffled and tried to wipe her tears. She didn't want to be a mess for Thor, not after all he'd done. She'd be the first woman ever to sit inside a council room in session. That was historical...

She pulled back slightly in his arms and they loosened enough for her to look up into Thor's face - and it nearly broke her heart.

His eyes were still looking over her head, open now, glistening with unshed tears and so strained with hurt and pain. She knew the thoughts that were going through his head, that he was reliving the moments she almost died. She didn't want him to hurt.

Her heart hardened and her watery emotion dried up, sobering. He'd done all this for her...she had to do something for him.

"Love me." she whispered.

That blinked him awake.

Thor's eyes snapped down to hers, his brow furrowed instantly. His lips hovered apart a moment before he spoke, his tone wary: "The midwife said six weeks -"

"I don't care." Imogen cut off, shaking her head and clasping Thor's face gently in her hands. Her eyes were shimmering now as she stepped forward and Thor stepped back, bringing them closer to the bed. "I need you to love me. Now. Please."

It had only been four weeks since the birth but she didn't care. She was aching for him again, needing to give him something. What else could she offer but her body?

Or a child.

He deserved that now. So, so much...

Thor let her back him up to the bed, not even resisting as she pushed him back to bounce on the mattess. He was still frowning.

The midwife had said a great many things following the birth. One of them had been the six week abstainance advice... the other had been to inform that that same period was extremely fertile. If Imogen was going to fall pregnant again, now was the time to try. Pain or not, she wanted this baby now. Thor deserved that son, after all he was doing...

She climbed over his semi-clad body, straddling his waist with a determination in her heart. She wanted this.

She leaned down to capture his parted lips with hers...but his hands cupped her face and stopped her. His breath washed calmly over her face as he held her still, sweet like honey. "We can't." he sighed breathlessly.

For a moment, Imogen just froze.

Then the tears came again.

She rolled off him instantly as the tears ran from her eyes, settling on her side, hugging her arms around herself. She kept her back to him.

She wanted this so badly, to feel him, to bear him a child, and if she couldn't... she was such a failure as a wife. He was doing everything for her, while she was doing nothing for him. She was useless. He didn't even want to have sex with her anymore.

She hugged her arms tight around herself, comforting her broken heart the only way she could. She'd lost her son, she might not be able to carry another, and now her husband didn't want to lie with her. What was there not to cry about? The tender emotion stabbed at her heart, the hurt, and her shattered pride caused the tears to flow hot and fast down her face.

Then Thor's hand touched her shoulder. She stiffened. "Imogen, please..." he crooned softly, pleadingly.

Imogen wouldn't accept it.

"I want you t-to love m-me." she choked, screwing her eyes shut against her own disgraceful shuddering voice. What a wreck she was...

She didn't resist though as Thor's arms hesitantly wrapped around her, growing firmer as she didn't pull away. The length of his body settled behind against hers. "I don't want to hurt you." he whispered in her ear, following it with a kiss.

Imogen just shook her head. "This hurts. Knowing you don't want me..."

"I do want you." Thor said in a heartbeat, arms pulling her back against his chest. Imogen could feel his hard erection press against her backside.

She knew he didn't want to hurt her but she didn't care. She needed this. She needed him to show her he still loved her and wanted her. If he didn't... then what was the point of her being there?

She sucked in a subtle breath before she slowly turned in his arms, settling on her other shoulder until she was facing him, staring into his pleading blue orbs. She knew he'd do anything to make her happy...but he didn't want to hurt her. She wanted to accept that. But she couldn't. Not now. Now she wanted him, not his sweet sentiment.

Her eyes were unreadable as they met Thor's, laying down the make-or-break. "Then prove it." she hissed.

It was almost like blackmail, but she didn't care. She wanted to satisfy him, with sex, with a child, to feel close to her husband again...was that so wrong?

Maybe, she thought, letting another tear slip as Thor gently ran the backs of his fingers down her face gently. His conflict was written in his orbs. Finally - "You must tell me if it hurts." he ordered, voice tender but firm.

Imogen's heart soared. She nodded eagerly.

Her body tingled at the thought of Thor touching her again, making love to her. She wanted him to swoop her mind away so she didn't have to think for a moment or two, so she could forget. She couldn't bear for it to be on her mind anymore - to have her dead son weighing on her heart, her conscience broken with guilt for how she was failing Thor...

She didn't dare acknowledge the wary look in Thor's eye as he sat up, her nether regions tingling with excitement. She propped herself up on her elbows as Thor got off the bed and rid himself of his trousers, maybe slightly slower than he would have before.

Her heart was in her mouth as she scoured her eyes over his perfect body, savouring every inch of him. Without sex, he'd kept himself hidden and dressed for bed. This was the first time she'd really seen him naked since before the birth, and her eyes widened, drinking him in; he was so big, so long and thick...

A part of her quaked as the thunder god settled a knee back on the bed, easing closer to her, thinking of taking his size inside her still bruising womanhood. His concern hadn't been enough to dampen his arousal. He was a man, after all.

He paused, sat upright on his knees and reached down a chival hand to her. Mildly surprised, seeing calm written on her husband's face, Imogen took it slowly.

Her lips hovered apart, eyes round and innocently enticing as she let Thor guide her up onto her knees too, so she was level with him. His orbs were crystal pools of steady control, even as they lowered to scour over her curves. Imogen's body shivered with anticipation, feeling Thor's gaze on her.

His eyes roamed over her breasts, over her waist and hips, all clad in pretty lace... then they lifted to her face again. Gently, as if holding a child, he cupped her face tenderly in his hands and eased his mouth to hers for a chaste kiss. He screwed his eyes shut, praying forgiveness for what he was about to do. He didn't want to be aroused. He wanted to hold Imogen gently in his arms through the night and just care for her... but his traitorous body, hers so bewitching. He simply prayed he didn't hurt her, not for the selfish sake of his passion.

Imogen held her breath, waiting. What was he going to do? Her nightdress was still on, her breasts swelling, hardening nipples pressing against the material. Would he rip it off?

No, she thought. His eyes looked too soft, too in control for that. Concern for her must be weighing heavily on his mind, she thought, seeing the concentration in his eyes, even as his hands trailed down to cup her upper arms. It was almost a regretful look too though, as if he knew he would fail.

She didn't care about the pain. She wanted so desperately to bear this wonderful man a son and if this was her best chance for who knew how long.. she would seize it. Thor deserved that child.

He didn't move, just breathing deeply. Bracing himself, Imogen realised with a twang in her heart.

She wanted to be glad he was so considerate... but right now, she just wanted him to fuck her and impregnate her with another of his babies. Her patience was running out. What if he changed his mind? She could see the hesitation dancing in Thor's orbs already.

Panic flittered through her heart and she reached up slowly with her hands to Thor's, on her upper arms. She slid them from her smoothly. If he wouldn't start this, she sure as hell would. She needed it, needed to feel him.

She clung to one of his hands and held his eyes calmly as she slowly turned around, shifting on her knees. Passing his hand to her other, she angled her body away from him, facing the bedroom wall as her spare hand braced on the headboard. She only tore her eyes away at the last moment, seeing Thor's eyes widen slightly at her lead, his breath hitching in his chest. She could almost imagine the way his cock grew with arousal, not needing to see it with her eyes to know it was true.

Eyes on the cream coloured wall ahead, she put Thor's hand back on her body, at her waist and trailed it down her curves for a few inches. When she let her hand fall away, Thor's continued the descent on it's own.
She sucked in a deep breath as Thor's palm carressed her softly, but knew he wasn't quite as composed as before as his other pulled her hips back from the headboard, bending her over. His lips found the back of her neck, teeth nipping softly.

The moment his hips eased forward to touch her backside, erection hard against her soft skin as his hand hitched her lace skirt up, she knew he'd lost the battle - reverence or not, Thor couldn't resist her. That was why he'd married her.

Imogen moved her hands to grip the headboard - hard. This would hurt. She knew that. Thor's hand firmed at her hip and she braced herself, gritting her teeth as she felt him position himself outside her entrance, his tip nudging her wetness.

"I'll be gentle." he promised with a whisper, lips kissing sweetly into her neck. Imogen said nothing, fingers gripping hard.

Then he pushed forward.

Hot pain flared sharply through her as Thor's generous length breached her and her jaw fell open, knuckles white aorund the headboard. She didn't make a sound though, gasping silently as her husband slowly filled her.

It felt like a firebrand was pushing inside her though, forcing her open more than she wanted to be. The thin arousal for her husband had vanished entirely now - it had been wiped out with absolute pain.

But she said nothing, gritting her teeth and bearing it as Thor slowly claimed her as his. She wouldn't dare say anything. She wanted this. As much as it hurt, she had to bear it for Thor. For the child she wanted for them. A little pain for a lifetime of joy; a small price. She must still be slightly torn inside, she thought as Thor's hips finally touched against her backside, fully sheathed inside her at last. Imogen let out a rush of breath.

Her head bowed forward and her forehead touched the headboard, sucking in deep breaths to channel the deep pain cutting through her. Thor stilled for a moment... then Imogen couldn't fight the whimper as he pulled back.

He froze instantly. "Are you alright?" he breathed, voice sounding a tad hoarse.

Imogen tried to make sure her voice didn't betray her, trying to keep calm. She fluttered her eyes closed, trying to focus on Thor's gentle lips on her back as his fingers brushed her long hair away. "I'm fine." she sighed, slight tremble in her voice. "Please."

She wanted him to go on, wanted to do this for him. Her discomfort wasn't important. For all he was doing for her, her glorious husband, he deserved to be happy, even if she had to endure a little pain to make it so. She was determined now; she had to be a worthy wife for Thor to sit at his side on the throne, to be so valued above all else - and a son in her womb would make her worthy.

Tears pricked at her eyes as Thor slowly withdrew back inside her, hands trembling slightly. She kept her mouth shut though, fighting against the cries that wanted to break free.

Thor breathed out a breathless sigh against her neck as he eased back inside her again, starting to surrender to the sensations of his warm wife clenched around him. Imogen gripped her innermost muscles, tightening around him. The god groaned in ecstasy against her, body melting against her back.

She breathed calm and deep as the god started to move, letting her mind wonder so as not to focus on the pain, staring ahead. The wall was blank and merciless.

Thor moved slow and sweet, but his ragged breathing betrayed him, how out of control he really was, consumed by the feeling of being inside his wife. Imogen didn't disturb him, fluttering her eyes shut as she braced herself against the headboard, letting him take control. She would be everything he wanted her to be, she vowed. She would be perfect, for him.

Her heart hurt, but she ignored it. Maybe she was still a little weak from the birth. Or maybe the loss had just left her broken-hearted forever, her little boy taking a part of her soul with him to the afterlife.

Tears poured down her cheeks as she thought of him again. Of what that witch had done to them...she groaned quietly as her heart ached painfully in her chest. She wanted the little boy she and Thor were robbed of, wanted to carry him in her arms, feed him, love him...

Her heart steeled, and she pushed her hips back against Thor's, embracing the pain. He gasped and gripped around her waist, clutching her to him. Imogen pushed back again and again, pain tearing through her, but she didn't care. Thor was more important than the pain. Another baby. That was all that could heal this.