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ACRUS

Good Intentions

College courtyard

"You're Arcus, aren't you?" the mage at the entrance of the College asked when Acrus climbed the snowed-under steps to the bridge.

He sighed. "It's Acrus, not Arcus." It was the same mage that had deemed him worthy to enter by making him cast a Steadfast spell to cross the bridge. Faralda, was it?

"Tolfdir wants to see you. And... I think you want to see him too."

"Oh?" Did this mage know what he wanted, now?

A mysterious smile played around her lips. "Believe me. You do."

Acrus went past her, rolling his eyes when she couldn't see, stomping up the stairs and across the bridge, his pack slung over one shoulder. He supposed he had better go see what was so earth-shattering.

"Oh, hello Acrus," Brelyna, the dunmer student said when she saw him, doing a semi-decent effort to sound happy to see him. "Tolfdir wants t – "

"Yes, I know," he interrupted her. He didn't have time to listen to the same message every time, especially not from his lesser peers. Let them waste time in the lecture halls, while Acrus did the real work.

The girl gave an indignant and hurt look. Please. She was nowhere cute enough for him to actually care about her.

Tolfdir wanted to see him, and see him he did when Acrus walked into the Hall of Elements. He had to admit to himself that Faralda had been right. He really did want to see Tolfdir. Well, not so much Tolfdir, but the thing behind him.

In the centre of the Hall of the Elements was a giant crackling ball of energy, as tall as a man, and light blue in colour. It looked like it was made of interlocking magickal plates with light shining within. The radiance coming off it illuminated the entire Hall, and around it, apprentices and instructors alike stood looking in awe. And there was one who was neither apprentice nor instructor. Ancano, the insufferable Thalmor fathead. The glare from the sphere was so powerful it cast long, dark shadows of the people watching it.

"My boy," Tolfdir strode toward him, grinning broadly and extending his hand toward the orb. "Have you ever seen such splendour?"

"Uh... not really, no. What is it?"

"What is it?" Tolfdir echoed, cackling with laughter. "What is it? It's the orb. The one you brought back with you!"

Wait, what? "But... that was a tiny little – "

"Yes, yes! But with some coaxing," Tolfdir explained, completely giddy, "it unlocked into this."

"Wow."

"Wow indeed, lad! I don't know what Savos Aren has you doing," Acrus pretended not to know what he was talking about, "but you should report whatever you've found to him immediately." Tolfdir clapped him in the shoulder. "Meanwhile, I'm just going to stand here... and... look... at the orb." And look he did, turning to the massive ball of energy, his face in rapture.

Acrus left him to his starstruckness and went to see the Archmage. Or better, Mirabelle Ervine, since he was reporting to her. Best not screw this up by not respecting the hierarchy.

"You there."

Acrus sighed and wondered if the pompous blowhard always addressed people with those same two words.

"I would speak with you."

This time Acrus could not suppress a groan and a roll of the eyes. What a ponce. "Yes, uh... what was your name again?"

The man could barely contain his indignation, much to Acrus' pleasure. "Ancano, you lout. Tell me, have you ever heard of the Psijic Order?"

Now that was a strange coincidence. Had someone been blabbing? "I've heard of them as I've heard of the Thalmor." He resisted the urge to add, not much, although they probably think I should have.

"A member of the Order has been here. Looking for you," Ancano said, looking down his nose with his arms crossed. "By name." He looked as if the very notion struck him as utterly ridiculous.

"Uh... well, I don't know what he wanted," Acrus merely said, though he had an idea. Clearly Ancano hadn't been told about the vision. Good. The less the inflated git knew about him the better.

"Come. We must confer with Savos Aren about this. I find it all..." he made a dismissive gesture with his hand, "very unsavoury."

Unsavoury. Well alright then. Ancano strode towards the Archmage's quarters and Acrus followed him. If anyone was going to get chewed out for bothering the Archmage, it would be the windbag elf, and not him anyway.

Without knocking, Ancano barged into the Archmage's Quarters, interrupting Savos Aren as he was performing the slightly underwhelming job of rearranging the flowers in the vase on his desk. "Ancano," the Archmage sighed, "I expect an Orc or a Nord not to knock. They're honest, straightforward people. To them, knocking simply isn't in their culture. From you, however, I do expect a level of decency that makes me suspect you have an elongated object inside a lower part of your anatomy."

"This isn't the time for frivolities, Arch-mage," Ancano blurted, his face red with suppressed anger. "This... boy here, this manling, has – "

Ancano didn't finish his sentence. He simply stopped, all time grinding to a halt around Acrus until all was motionless and soundless.

Not all. A man in mage robes stepped forward out of the shadows. The same man Acrus had seen in his visions. "Don't be alarmed, young one," he said, unaffected by the temporal standstill around them. "My name is Quaranir, of the Psijic Order. The Eye of Magnus," he explained, "the orb of energy in your central hall... It is dangerous. Very much so."

Acrus tried to speak, but realized that he was unable to move, also in temporal stasis, though unlike Savos Aren and the anal retentive Elf, he was aware of what was transpiring, and being actively spoken to.

"The longer it remains in the College, the more dangerous it becomes. However, we are... unsure of how things must proceed. What is certain is that the Eye must be banished, or dire consequences will result. It falls to you, young one, to search for the Augur, and seek its council." The bearded mage placed two hands on his shoulders. "We have chosen you, Acrus Vadosus. Fate itself has chosen you. Seek the Augur."

The mage abruptly vanished and time, like a stone teetering on its edge, fell back into speed.

"What is the meaning of this?" Ancano demanded to know. "What has just occurred? There was an interruption, I am certain of it."

Savos Aren had clearly felt it too, but all he did was respond with a shrug saying he had nothing to do with it.

"It must be those infuriating Psijics," Ancano raged on. "They spoke to you, didn't they? What did they say? Tell me this instant."

Acrus shot a quick look at the Arch-Mage, who gave a short nod. "He said uh, that the Eye of Magnus... the thing in the Hall of Elements... is dangerous and needs to be banished."

"Sounds rather preposterous to me," was all Ancano had to scoff about that.

"Yes, well, that's what he said. Seems we need to find someone or something called the Augur to learn more."

"The Augur?" Ancano repeated, "Hmph, never heard of it. Perhaps you should spend less of your time with crazy notions and more with your studies, hm?"

Savos Aren was, surprisingly, equally dismissive of the name. "Has Tolfdir been telling stories again?" he asked, mildly irritated. "Filling students' heads with crazy tales? When you see him next," he told Acrus, "do instruct the old man to knock it off, will you?"

"But – "

"It's getting late," the Arch-mage said. "I'm sure A ncano wishes to retire?"

The Elf set his jaw at the veiled but clear order to leave, then he spun on his heels and stomped out.

When he was gone, the Archmage said, "Look, student. I don't know where you got this crazy idea about the Augur, but Tolfdir should really stop putting stories into his students' heads. Did you find the books I asked for?"

"Yes, Arch-mage, I have them in my pack in my room, but – "

The Arch-mage smiled kindly. "Well done. For now, that will do. Urag gro-Shub will collect them, and we will study them. If this is indeed the Eye of Magnus, then it's worth learning all we can about it." He laid a hand on Acrus' shoulder and gently led him outside. "You've done well, Acrus. You've earned your rest. Go downstairs to the refectory, have yourself a good, copious dinner, a full glass of wine," he chuckled, "or two, and get some rest."

"But – "

"There will be plenty of time to get to the bottom of this tomorrow. No point beginning our research poorly rested. I will send for you in the morning, don't worry. I have no intention of excluding you from these events, but we all need our rest."

Though he wanted to start right now, Acrus was put at ease by the Arch-mage's words, and believed him when he'd said he wanted everyone to be well-rested. And Acrus guessed he had a point. "Very well, Arch-mage. I look forward to unravelling this mystery."

The Arch-mage gave him an encouraging grin. "Good man. And don't worry about Ancano. He's full of hot air, but I don't think he'll pose a problem."

Neither the Arch-mage nor Acrus knew how wrong he was.

When he came down, he crossed paths with the Nord student he was supposed to be attending lectures with – well, if he didn't have more important things to do anyway. Onmund, Acrus believed his name was. Whatever.

"Oh, Acrus. You're back."

"So I am."

"If you're going to the refectory, there's a rather interesting pair of guests there."

Acrus hoped it wasn't more Thalmor. "That so?"

"M-hm." Onmund's face bore an amused grin. "Trust me, it's worth taking a detour for."

It wasn't a detour for Acrus, and it wasn't like he'd make one just to gawk at some insignificant guests.

Although...

The two people sitting in the refectory were the only ones left, and Acrus hadn't seen them before. Two women, one Nord-looking and one with Elven features, but not as prissy-looking as the Altmer... Bosmer probably. The Nord girl was absolutely stunning, with shoulder-length brown hair , the front tied into a double braid that went around her head, tied together at the back, and an absolutely gorgeous face, regal and at the same time possessing a natural, earthly beauty. The other, the Bosmer, certainly wasn't ugly, at all, though she wasn't a knock-out like the Nord. She had a slender, exotic-looking face with long yellow hair that fell straight down without a curl or a wave whatsoever. Her cheekbones were prominent and chiselled, and though her narrow nose was slightly hooked, it didn't detract much from her not-bad appearance.

Still, the Nord girl blew her Bosmer companion straight out of the water in the looks department. She looked like she was sculpted by Azura herself, and her noble yet practical garb complemented her noble yet girlish face excellently.

Acrus knew what he was going to do. He was going to get himself a glass of wine and get acquainted.

"Evening ladies," he said, flashing his most winning smile. He'd let the cook fill a small plate for him, so he had an excuse to sit down. "Mind if I join you? Eating alone is so alone."

The Bosmer girl's look was wary, almost suspicious, but the breathtaking Nord smiled back and said, "It's your Guild, you sit wherever you like."

Undeterred by the lukewarm response, Acrus focused on the more important thing – her body language – and said, "Well, in that case, wherever I like is here."

The Bosmer didn't seem very happy with the fact, but Acrus knew better than to take it personally. "Shouldn't we..." she asked, but the Nord cut her off, "No, no. It's alright. We can have a chat. Get acquainted with some of the Guild people."

Her eyes were strange. The Bosmer's eyes too. There was nothing wrong with them, but they were different.

"Can I interest anyone in some more wine?" he asked, hoping to placate the Wood Elf enough so she'd stop being so guarded. Was she the other's bodyguard? It was possible, she wore a short sword on her belt. It seemed to have had an emblem on it at one point, but it was filed off to unrecognisability.

"No thank you," the noblewoman said, still with her friendly smile. "We're good. Don't want a hangover tomorrow."

Acrus wouldn't mind taking her up to her room and tear that noble dress right off her. Then he remembered something. "Oh, forgive me I've been rude. Name's Acrus Vadosus. Student at the College, but... probably not for long."

"Why not for long?" the Bosmer asked, her wariness slightly less.

"Oh, I'm not about to get kicked out or anything," Acrus said quickly. "But I'm working on something, with the lecturers, that might, well... make me eligible for quicker advancement."

"Really?" the Nord woman asked, leaning back in her chair. "Feel like sharing?"

"I would," Acrus admitted, "but I've been instructed not to talk about it." He wasn't about to mess this up just so he could impress the ladies. At least, not until he was certain they were worth impressing.

"I can respect that," the Nord lady said. "My name is Serana, this is Roë."

"Pleasure to meet you, Serana. Roë."

The Bosmer nodded back, still keeping him at arm's length.

"And you, Acrus," the Nord said back.

"May I ask what brings your charming persons to our Guild?" Acrus asked.

With a chuckle, the noblewoman replied, "You certainly can, but I fear we have to give you the same answer. We're not at liberty to talk about it."

"And I, in turn, can respect that too."

When the Nord woman looked at him, Acrus saw the hunger in her eyes. He knew it was a hunger for him. And even the Bosmer couldn't hide her craving. Acrus felt his head go light when he permitted himself the hope of bringing both of them to the guest room beds.

He shouldn't rush it though. You had to gently, carefully coax women to the end you desired. "Well, can you at least tell me where you're from?"

"Certainly. I'm from a castle just off the shore, all the way North."

"Ah. The both of you?"

"No," the Elf said, still on guard. "I'm from Solitude originally." After a brief look at what Acrus surmised was her mistress, she added, "Was with the Guard. Then took up bodyguarding."

"Ah," Acrus said with a smile. "Yes I suppose the increase in pay alone would make that a worthwhile choice."

"It was... more a matter of necessity."

Oh dear. The lass had probably been booted or 'asked to leave'. Best not to push it. "And the bodyguarding life finding you well?" He'd learned over the years that to speak and give the most attention to the one you weren't the most attracted to, was the best plan to get the actual target to drop her knickers.

"It's alright," the girl shrugged, looking at the table. Hm, she clearly hadn't chosen this life voluntarily.

The Nord woman, Serana, had picked up on it, and she changed the subject. "And where'd you blow in from, Acrus?" Interest, that was good. "This College doesn't seem like a place where babies are born."

"No, I came from the Imperial Province. Was a bit tired of the way they practiced magick there." The noblewoman raised an eyebrow. "I don't know," he explained. "Too bookish. Repeating gestures and words over and over and over again. The magick here is much more... primal, to put a word to it. You feel the weave and you pluck the threads you need, weave them into a spell, and you're casting magick. In Cyrodiil, you have to practice finger-gestures for a year before you're even allowed to look at a spellbook."

"I see," the noblewoman said, still leaning back casually in her chair, a curious but confident look on her face. "You're a man of instincts rather than book smarts?"

Acrus chuckled. "Well, I like to think I'm both. Just my way of actually practicing magick is more suited to Skyrim than Cyrodiil. Just wish the weather was better."

"Oh, you and me both," she responded. Good. Common ground. He noticed that the Bosmer, though she was still wary, had a more and more perceptible hunger to her eyes.

He was doing pretty well, but the grand prize was still not in reach. He kept his eyes from straying to Serana's cleavage. The way the pale, smooth skin of her breasts reflected the light made him dizzy.

"Yes, the weather here certainly isn't like Cyrodiil," he continued on his winning tangent. "I prefer a nice little sun, so you can go for a swim. Riverbank weather, you know?"

"M-hm. I know. Lovely, isn't it?"

The Bosmer girl, Roway or something, looked at her mistress with puzzled eyes. Acrus thought he had an idea why. Serana wasn't telling the truth, but he knew she did it to impress him.

The idea of having the gorgeous noble naked on all fours with the bodyguard watching made him reach for his glass of wine.

The bodyguard in question got a look from her mistress, whose eyes then went to her plate, telling her to eat and not insult their hosts.

The girl did as she was told, with a lot of reluctance, taking up a spoonful of horker stew and sticking it in her mouth, swallowing it almost instantly. She tried to suppress her grimace, but didn't come even close to succeeding. She looked as if she was keeping down vomit.

"Is something wrong with the food?" Acrus asked in feigned concern. "Would you like me to bring you something else?"

"No, no," her mistress answered in her stead. "Roë is just a fussy eater."

"Are you sure? It's no effort."

"No. No thank you," the Bosmer said, still looking a bit queasy. "I've uh... got some trouble eating after bruising my abdominal muscles yesterday."

Could you even bruise muscles? Acrus decided not to care.

"I think I'll retire now," Serana said abruptly, rising from her chair.

Both Acrus and her bodyguard were caught by surprise, the Bosmer girl blurting out, "What? But weren't we, I mean..."

"No," the noblewoman said. "I'll... leave you two to it." The suggestion couldn't be more clear. This woman had clearly been setting her bodyguard up for a night of détente. A reward for all the hard work, Acrus supposed. He was seriously miffed, though. He'd hoped to get the white hot brunette into his bed, and now he had to settle for the 'only' not-bad-looking bodyguard.

Still, he probably wouldn't have a cold bed tonight, and a rather-pretty bodyguard was better than nothing at all. Not the gold ribbon, but an acceptable consolation prize nonetheless. A bit underfurnished in the tits department, probably a few bony protrusions here and there, like all Bosmer, but she had a cute face, if a bit cold. She'd do.

"Make sure he's fit for lectures tomorrow," the gorgeous creature said, getting up from her chair and walking out of his hopes. When she left, Acrus had to resist the urge to look at her ass. What she'd said to her bodyguard had confirmed Acrus' impression, though. Seemed he'd serve as a reward for her mistress had done the preparatory work of getting him all keyed up, so now her bodyguard just had to take the last steps. Acrus didn't mind being used as remuneration in this case, even if he did miss out on some hot Nord action..

"Well uh..." the girl said, clearly put in an awkward situation. Acrus would put her at ease, no problem. "I'm going to sit here for a little bit longer. You?"

"Of course," Acrus said with a smile. "I'd be a fool to pass up a chance at spending time with a beautiful lady."

What Acrus saw on her face then, gave him a feeling he hadn't had in a long time. Over her face came a peculiar mixture of emotions, as if the compliment made her profoundly happy and yet deeply sad at the same time. The corners of her mouth went up, but her lower lip trembled slightly. Her eyes lit up, but at the same time, her eyebrows moved slightly closer together. He didn't know the reasons for either feeling, but the effect it had on him was... utterly unexpected.

She was no longer a potential bed partner in his eyes, no longer a prize to be won, but... a real person. Acrus hadn't seen women as real people in a long time. How hadn't he realized? How hadn't he known that he'd been completely dehumanizing women for so long? It's as if the numbness, the blindness he'd felt after Anorra's death had simply remained, without him knowing, and even though he'd thought he'd healed, in reality, it had always been there. Until now. Until this woman had come along, someone he considered an insignificant bodyguard, not a person, but just a job with a body, just a potential piece of... fuckmeat, he had to admit it to himself, until, with one reaction, with one mere response to his compliment, just a few facial muscles, but filled with such a massive, explosive multitude of emotion, she'd blown his eyes wide open.

The realization that he'd been blind and numb all this time struck him so hard, he felt like his mind was being hit by a battering ram. What kind of person had he been all this time? And how had he not realized?

"Hey... are you alright?"

He'd just been sitting there, slack-jawed, his spoon of stew in his hand.

"Uh... should I call someone?"

Acrus, with an immense effort of will, freed himself from his paralysis. "No... no, I'm alright. I just... realized something."

The girl's eyebrow went up. "Nothing bad, I hope?"

No. Nothing bad at all. Something that made him feel immensely guilty and ashamed, and something which would cause him to make things right with a few people, but nothing bad. Something pretty wonderful, even. He'd been unhappy, miserable even, and treating people the same way, and he simply hadn't realized. "No," he told her. "Nothing bad."

He hesitated a moment, but he realized that if he wanted to make things right, he'd have to start right now. "Lady Roë, this has been a wonderful evening, but I really should head to bed now."

"Really?" there was a flash of doubt in her eyes. "I thought... well, I thought we were having a pleasant evening?"

"We are," he assured her, even though his pleasantness had been all an act until now, "but I just..."

"Just what?" she asked, looking like she was about to start pleading.

"I... feel like I'd be taking advantage," he confessed. "You're obviously a nice person and, well... I can't explain it, but I feel like I haven't been honest with you."

"In... what way?" she was clearly dreading the answer.

"It doesn't matter." He couldn't really explain it himself, and even if he could, wanting to change his ways didn't mean having to confess them to someone he'd just met. "But please believe me when I say it has nothing to do with you." Well, not in the sense that there's anything wrong with you anyway.

"Look," she said, looking desperate. "I could really use some company tonight. Not... I mean, not because of anything lewd, just... I don't want to be alone tonight."

There was more to this than met the eye, Acrus realized that, somewhere in his mind – maybe she was even tricking him – but the feeling was too faint in his thoughts, and he was currently in such an unfamiliar state of mind himself, that he didn't recognize what it was. "But... thing is, I don't want you to think I'm – "

"No. No," she said, a little too quickly. "I'm asking, so you're not taking advantage. If that's really the reason, then don't worry about it."

Sometimes, even when a person was asking, she was still being taken advantage of, and Acrus suspected that this was the case – that, or she'd been ordered by her mistress to get someone of the College into bed and get him to blab... whatever.

Maybe it was about the Eye of Magnus? After all, he didn't know who these people were. He'd have to be on his guard, but on the other hand, if this girl was really just looking for company, he really couldn't make her feel shitty for what might be no reason at all.

So he came up with an intermediate solution. "Look, I'll walk you to your room at least. How 'bout that?"

"I... suppose."

"Shall we?"

He did as he'd promised, walking the elven girl to her room, while telling her about the College, giving her a tour insofar as their route allowed, and sharing some gossip about the lecturers he'd caught from his fellow students. She listened more or less intently, but Acrus couldn't help notice she was distracted... as if there was a powerful feeling she was trying to ignore, but couldn't entirely. He also saw she had trouble swallowing, as if her throat was dry. She was clearly doing the effort to stay concentrated, but didn't succeed entirely. What a strange girl she was.

They reached the guest wing, and the door to her room. And with that, the awkward moment Acrus had been apprehensive about. Because he didn't think he wasn't taking advantage. He'd done all he could to seduce both women, and her mistress had either pressured her into this, or convinced her to do something she wasn't certain of. Either way, it would be wrong of him to just take what he could get.

"Would you... like to come in?"

This convinced Acrus entirely. The way she asked it, hesitant and nervous, made it clear that she wasn't doing this simply because she wanted to. There was more to it than this, and she was being used as a patsy, probably by her mistress, who, despite being smoking, also struck him as rather manipulative. Something was going on. Thinking on his feet, Acrus realized that if he just spurned her, she'd probably get in trouble with her mistress. So the best idea was to say, "Sure. Sure, why not."

She pushed the door open and let him enter, sitting next to him on the bed. Immediately, before he'd even had a chance to say something, she went for his collar and began undoing the buttons.

Feeling her fingers working so eagerly to get his clothes off, Acrus felt an immense temptation to just let her do what she wanted, or what she thought she wanted, and what he, more than a bit, wanted too. But he had to change, and if he didn't change now, he never would.

"Stop. Stop, Roë."

The girl looked up at him, her almond-shaped elven eyes big with surprise. "Wh... what? I thought... I thought you wanted..."

He gently took her hands off the front of his shirt. "Yes, I want. But it's not about what I want."

"Yes it is," she protested. "It's fine, just let me – "

"I'm not an idiot, Roë. I know you're not doing this for the right reasons." When he was met with a blank stare, he continued, "Look, maybe you think you want this, but I've been watching you, and I don't think you do. I don't want to... make you do things against your will. I have... things to atone for. I'll stay with you if you like, but not... I'll stay with you just to keep you company. No, more than that. Just to be close to you."

She kept quiet, her eyes still on him.

"I want to do this right, Roë. And I think just holding you tonight is what's right. For both of us."

She looked at him for a few moments longer, then let out a desperate, frustrated groan, slumping forward, her arms hanging between her legs. "Why does this have to be so hard?"

"I know, it's complic – "

"She said they'd all be after one thing. She said she could recognize them, and that you were like them," the girl groaned, still slumped forward. "That they all deserved it anyway."

Wait, what? "Roë... what did you say?"

She lifted her head again and Acrus saw her face was close to tears. "I'm sorry... I've been lying to you. You're... not here for... well, that, but..."

Acrus jumped up from the bed. "Roë, then why? To rob me?"

She shook her head. "No. You wouldn't believe it if I told you. Look, just... sit down."

He did so, but kept his distance. "Try me anyway." Somehow, he felt that she really wanted to tell, even though she shouldn't.

She sat there, her eyes closed. "Serana said she could spot potential victims. Said she only picked the... 'acceptable targets', as she called it. The guys who were only after one thing, the ones who only saw you as meat. And... the ones who'd force themselves on you if you said no."

Acrus kept quiet. The woman had been more accurate than Roë knew, but he was no longer that person. His eyes had opened, and he knew he'd have a lot to make up for. He'd never really forced himself on anyone, but he had to admit he'd made liberal use of wine, false pretenses and some gentle pressure to get a few girls to do what he wanted. But that was the past now, this girl had blown his eyes wide open. He hadn't been a bad person, just... blind.

"They were ideal," the girl went on. "Because you could get them to do as you wanted, and when their guard was down..."

Whatever this was, it was something seriously frightening. "Then what, Roë?"

She looked up at him, and again he saw the strangeness of her eyes. The way they reflected the light red. The hunger in them. He'd thought it was a sexual hunger at first, but he realized he'd been mistaken. This was something else... what? "Serana will kill me if I tell you."

What in Oblivion was going on here? "Then we make sure Serana doesn't find out. Are you... her prisoner?"

"No, no," she said quickly. "No, Serana is my friend, I... care about her. A lot. But it'd just be... really, really dangerous if I told you."

"Dangerous for you, or for me?"

"For us," she sighed. "Serana and me."

"Roë," Acrus said to her, "I promise you, right here, that nothing you say leaves this room. Part of you obviously wants to tell me, so if you want to, don't be afraid." He knew his manipulative abilities were still very much present, but now he was using them for good. It made him feel... saved, somehow.

"Do you swear?" she asked, her eyes full of fear and doubt.

"On my immortal soul, Roë," he pledged, meaning every word.

She sat there for a moment, her eyes closed. "I'll... I don't think telling you would work. I'll have to show you."

"You don't have one of those freaky belly buttons that sticks outwards, do you?" Acrus said, in hopes of breaking the tension somewhat.

It worked a bit, a faint smile playing around her lips, then it was gone again. "No. Just... just watch."

"Alright. Whatever it is, I won't think any less of you." It was a ridiculously untenable promise to make, but he did it anyway.

The girl closed her eyes again, and it was as if a veil fell off her. Her smooth skin slid away, revealing the face she'd kept hidden, the cheeks sunken, the eyes set deep in dark sockets. Her skin looked like it was stretched over her bones, and yet, somehow, there was still an unearthly beauty to the thing before him.

Then the Roë-thing opened her eyes.

Acrus had been holding his breath when the illusion fell away, but now his throat closed on its own accord, making him unable to breathe at all. The sclera of the creature's eyes were like black glass, and the irises blazed with glowing fire, as if her eyes were polished black marbles set with a ring of lava.

"By the... " Acrus couldn't even finish his invocation of the first godly thing that came to his mind, because he simply had no air to do it with.

"Am I that horrifying?" the Roë-thing asked. "I haven't even dared to look in a mirror yet."

Whatever she was now, or always had been with an illusion to cover it up, it was still her. It still spoke, and still sounded human. Acrus forced himself to resume breathing, and said in a hoarse voice, "No... it's... not that bad, it's just...your eyes. What are you? A daedra?"

"No." When she pulled her upper lip back and showed her sharp, elongated eye teeth, Acrus realized what this creature was.

"... Vampire?"

"I never asked for this," the thing said. "Never chose it."

Even with all the blazing power now radiating from this creature, as if it were hot waves washing over him, Acrus felt more pity for her than fear. "So you're Vampires, then? You and Serana?" He tried to sound as collected as possible, even though he was completely knocked off his feet.

Roë (because it was Roë, not 'the Roë-thing') said, "Yes. She's really old, like ancient. I just... I didn't become this until recently." Her voice sounded close to breaking.

"And did you bring me here to... kill me and drink my blood?"

"Not kill you," she said immediately. "At least, not on purpose."

"What do you mean?"

"Serana said... well, that new... things like me, we... can't really estimate it well. Sometimes fledglings accidentally kill people when they're not supposed to. They take too much, and the victim dies after a while because of blood shortage. And sometimes they even... drink so much they kill the victim while they feed. That's dangerous, they can become monsters if they do that." The words were coming out like a waterfall now, and she sounded disgusted with herself. "Anyway, the danger is there in the beginning, so the first few victims are usually people who, well... wouldn't be a big loss if they died."

"Well thanks," he said hoarsely.

"Serana got you wrong, alright?" she pleaded. "She thought you were like those guys who were only driven by lust, who thought only about themselves. The sort of guys who wouldn't take no for an answer."

She hadn't been that wrong. He'd sat at their table with only one thing in mind. Shame washed over him, but he kept quiet, and only he realized how this girl had effectively saved his life by giving back his humanity. "So what happens now?"

"Now? I hope Serana's concluded her business here, because it won't be safe to stay. I believe you when you say you won't tell, but... we can't take the chance. They'll burn us if they find out. Well, unless Serana..."

"Unless Serana what?"

Roë's blazing eyes looked away. "Unless she defends herself."

"We're in the middle of the College of Winterhold, Roë. The greatest mages in Skyrim are gathered here. I don't think Serana – "

"Serana is ancient, Acrus. I'm talking thousands of years old. And even though you might not believe me, she's a wonderful person, she'd never hurt anyone if she didn't have to, but..."

"Anyway, it's all moot. I promise I won't tell anyone."

Her face of monstrous beauty made a weak smile. "Thank you. I'll go hungry tonight, ma ybe even starve, but I think it's for the best."

"Starve?"

I'm hungry, Acrus," she said. "I know my strength won't hold out much longer. Serana said starving Vampires rampage, but I... just don't have the will or the energy. So I think I'll just fall over and stop existing when I'm starved."

"You... might not have to?" He couldn't believe he was saying this.

Her blazing eyes went up to his. "What do you mean?"

"Well... you say you choose bad people as victims, right? But there's something even better. Something you'd have to feel even less guilty about. A willing victim."

He saw her tongue slowly running across her incisors. She didn't seem aware of it. "You'd... do that for me?"

"I don't know. Is it dangerous? I mean, can I... catch it?"

"No. Serana said feeding alone doesn't transfer the disease. It's the claws that do it. And even if it did, you'd just need your Restoration lecturer to cast a cure spell in its early stages. It's easily cured. If you treat in time." She hid her face in her hands and peeped, "I didn't."

"I'm... sorry, Roë."

"I can't even cry," her torn voice came, muffled by her hands. "I can't even cry anymore. I just want to cry."

He kept silent. Boots bonked on the floor in the hallway. Probably a guard who passed by.

"Serana says it'll get better in time, but right now... I'm sorry, I shouldn't be bothering you with this. Anyway, I can't ask this of you. Even though it should be safe, I don't trust myself. I... already killed someone, by accident."

"What, by overfeeding?"

"No. No, I've only... it's only been animals so far. No, I... didn't know how strong I'd become, and I killed someone who attacked us. Someone who thought he was doing the right thing, fighting monsters. A boy, not even a man yet, a naive farm hand who thought he'd help the world by fighting vampires. I... kicked him right off a rooftop." Then she said to no one in particular, "I'm so sorry, Agmaer."

"Roë," Acrus said gently. Even between all the confusion and turmoil, it felt good to use his social skills to actually help people. "You said yourself it was by accident. You didn't mean for it to happen. You didn't mean to hurt anyone."

"No one ever does, Acrus," she said. "But he's dead, and it's my fault. And that's why I'm afraid to accept your offer now. I might... might not be able to contain myself. And if you were like Serana said you'd be, it would be one thing, but you're sitting here, shaming me with your kindness."

"Roë. I'm not as kind as you think I am. I've changed, but I've done a lot of things wrong in my life," Acrus told her. She'd been honest with him, he had to be honest too. "Your Serana wasn't that wrong about me. I've been blind and stupid, thinking only about myself, and I've hurt people, by being selfish and dishonest. I've got a lot of things to make up for. And I already started today. Let me follow through. We help each other, right?"

"It might be – "

He shook his head. "No, Roë. I have faith in you. You'll be careful."

She looked torn between her hunger and her guilt, but her hunger won out, which was in itself a slightly scary fact. Acrus decided to ignore it. "For what it's worth," the girl said, "I've heard that once you're past the pain of the fangs, it's a wonderful feeling."

"You mean, being fed on?"

She grimaced at the word. "Yes. Serana said we usually go for victims who are asleep, but apparently it's a feeling of bliss if it happens when you're awake. Or so I'm told." Her fingers played with the green woollen blanket on the bed.

"Well, it doesn't matter. Roë, you need this." He put his hand on hers, and realized it was icy cold. "And so do I."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded. "So do I just... tilt my head, or...?"

"Yes. Should be fine. Everything should come natural, Serana said. She was right about the animals too."

"Well, dinner's served, I guess," Acrus joked wryly.

"You're sure about this?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, Acrus."

"No, Roë," he said. "Thank you, for giving back my humanity. No matter what happens now, you've saved me."

She blinked, the embers in her eyes flickering. "I... haven't done anything?"

"Believe me," he said. "You've done more than you know." He tilted his head, exposing his throat, and pulled his collar down. "Sorry, I haven't shaved."

A brief smile, and then, "We'll be gone when you wake up tomorrow. So this is goodbye."

"Goodbye, Roë. I'll never forget you."

"Nor I you."

He closed his eyes, and felt a sharp stab of pain when Roë's fangs sank into his skin and bit through, puncturing his carotid artery. There was warmth on his skin where the blood ran down, but an ice cold tongue caressed him, licking up the warm stream.

Her body pressed against his, and he felt himself go lightheaded and lay back, Roë's body on top of him. Far away, he heard her moan in passion. She'd been right, he realized, as a wave of pure bliss washed over him and he drank in the joy, same as she was. The feeling was wonderful, and he felt himself lose consciousness as Roë drank. He wasn't afraid. She'd know when to stop. He was chosen to do great things, the Psijic order had told him so. He was protected, chosen by a higher power. There were great things waiting for him, and as darkness came over him and he wrapped himself in the warm, wonderful feeling of pure ecstasy, he felt no fear.

There was no fear at all. She would stop in time.