Thank you all for your reviews. Unfortunately, Harry stopped writing in his journal shortly after Ruth left as you will see below, attempting to drown his sorrows in the bottom of his whisky glass instead for a while. I hope you enjoy this penultimate chapter anyway. S.C.
Sunday, 4th July 2010
London
My dearest Ruth,
I have tried emailing you, I have tried ringing you, I have tried to see you, all to no avail. This is my last hope to reach you before I go. I wanted to explain but I can see now that you're not ready to listen, perhaps you never will be; you always were a stubborn mule, but I shall respect your wishes; I owe you that much at least. I'm leaving London tomorrow for a while. I find I need some time to work out what I will do next, now that you no longer want me.
With this letter, I enclose a copy of something that no other living soul has ever seen - my diary. I know that you will understand how important it is that it doesn't find its way into the wrong hands and that you will safeguard it well. I hope that, when you are ready, it will answer some of your questions about me, my life in the service, who I am and why I did what I did to you, Ruth. I need you to know that there is nothing I regret more than lying to you and all the pain that I have ever caused you. I was so very wrong. It was never my intention to hurt you. I hope that, one day, you will understand that. For your own protection, I ask that you please destroy this copy when you have finished reading it.
Know that I love you always whether you are near or far, whether I see you everyday or never again, whether you love me or not.
Goodbye, my Ruth. Take care of yourself. I wish you every possible happiness. I am -
Yours always,
Harry x