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ROË
Prophet
Castle Volkihar, throne room
It was as if the surface was somehow alive. Hungry, and yet abundant at the same time. The red mirror of the liquid in the Bloodstone Chalice was still, but it gave the impression of somehow undulating, as if below the still and clear surface, there was a dark red, evil presence roiling and pulsating.
Serana had opened her veins, dripping some blood into the Chalice to mix with the uncanny liquid from the Bloodspring, and this had been the result. The profaned spring's slop had been 'purified', Lord Harkon had said, and now the Bloodstone Chalice was filled with empowering, potent vampiric essence. He'd drunk from it first, a contented expression on his face. Serana had declined, but Roë hadn't dared to. And hadn't cared enough either. She was a Vampire now, like it or not, and as she'd told herself when accepting the Vampire Lord's first offer, she was damned either way, might as well be damned without being weak to boot.
Serana's face was reassuring, and Harkon's grin was all but encouraging, so she brought the Chalice to her lips and drank just one mouthful. It was sticky, sweet and potent. Not blood but very similar, and Roë immediately felt a sort of greedy power take hold of her.
With the Blood of the Ancients empowering you, you can now drain others' life force from afar, ripping their life energy from their bodies to heal your wounds and power your magick. Your very will becomes a life-claiming conduit.
Again the voice. She wondered who it was, but at the same time, she knew. The voice was female and childlike, but its owner was neither, and far more terrible.
"We have become even more powerful," Lord Harkon told her with a grin. "As I have, you have heard the voice. And yet," he said, "we still have one great enemy. One thing to fear."
"The Dawnguard?" Roë asked.
Harkon held up a finger. "Close. But even they will be powerless against us if we eliminate the greatest threat of all." He raised his voice. "Modhna!"
"Yes, Lord?" Harkon's servant stepped forward. She'd been at a distance so as not to overhear the conversation.
"Call everyone together in the atrium."
She bowed curtly. "At once, my Lord."
To Serana and Roë, he said, with a winning smile, "I wish to make an announcement, and you two shall stand beside me. Come."
They followed Lord Harkon back from the throne room to the balcony overlooking the atrium, where more and more of the inhabitants of the Castle assembled. Roë felt extremely uncomfortable standing next to (but of course slightly behind) the Lord of the Castle, but Serana gave her a reassuring look and a nod that said, you're nobility now.
"My loyal scions of the night," Harkon began abruptly, not even waiting for the hubbub to die down. It instantly did as soon as he spoke. "Hear my words! The time of prophecy is upon us!"
Roë had to suppress a grin when she wondered how many times those particular words had been used in Skyrim. Did they surprise anyone anymore?
"Soon we will claim dominion over our greatest enemy: the Sun itself! We will forge a new realm of eternal darkness. Now that I have reclaimed one of my Elder Scrolls, we must find a Moth Priest to read it."
Oh right. No one could read the Elder Scrolls, and those that tried were struck instantly blind. Only the Moth Priests could read them, and even their eyesight often did not survive a single reading. But the Sun? Harkon knew of a way to darken the Sun? Much as her body would welcome it, the thought seemed so... final to her. She knew she'd never be able to see the sun again, but darkening it forever... just made it certain.
"I have spread false rumours about the discovery of an Elder Scroll in Skyrim to lure a Moth Priest here," Harkon went on. "I have no doubt that one is in our lands as we speak. So my instructions to you: go forth, and search the land for a Moth Priest within our borders. Travel to the cities. Speak to innkeepers, carriage drivers, stable owners, guardsmen. Anyone who would meet travellers. Go, this is my command."
With varying degrees of enthusiasm, the assembled Vampires responded to the order.
"Oh, and one more thing," Harkon imparted to his flock. "There are... reports that the legendary Dragonborn has been discovered. Even more worrisome, it seems this Dovahkiin was seen fighting alongside Dawnguard squads to exterminate nests of our mongrel kin. Be extremely wary."
That was bad news, if it was true. The Dragonborn was supposed to be a mighty hero of prophecy, with the dragons' power of Shouting, being able to set people on fire, freeze them into blocks, or send them flying simply by voice. If this was more than just gossip, this might pose a serious problem for them. Still, Roë felt so powerful she wondered if there was anything in the world, apart from the Aedra, Daedra and Lord Harkon, who could ever be a match for her.
"I would have a word with you two as well," Harkon said quietly. Ensuring no one could hear, he told them, "The errands I've sent my subordinates on are not the ones that have the most chance of finding a Moth Priest."
Serana crossed her arms and cocked her head. "But you've doubtless saved that for us? I assume it'll be something dangerous again?"
Harkon chuckled. "I have, and it is not. It requires a short trip to the College of Winterhold. My sources tell me a Moth Priest resides there, or has passed there recently. If he has, I suggest speaking to the librarian. It's impossible that a Moth Priest would stay at the College without visiting the library." He placed one hand on each of their shoulders. "Can I depend on you for this?"
"Certainly father," Serana said, not without sarcasm. "After all, what better way to make your daughter feel welcome than to send her on errands, one after the other."
"Child, child..." Harkon soothed. "I understand how you feel. But this is necessary. When this is done, things will settle down, I promise. I'm sending you on these important missions because you are the only one I can truly depend on."
"Yeah. I'm sure. Come on, Roë," Serana said, bitterness in her voice. "Let's go find my father a Moth Priest."
"Yes, Lady Roë. I am counting on you to keep my beloved daughter safe."
That was probably the only reason he'd given her such power, Roë realized.
When they were away from Lord Harkon's influence, Serana's good cheer returned instantly. "I wonder if we'd find it funny if we came to the College and got attacked by your former Dawnguard friends, including this Dragonborn character."
"I don't think I'd be amused," Roë said, pushing the boat out. The icy cold of the water hurt her ankles, and yet, it wasn't colder than the rest of her. "If it's true, we'd be pretty much cacked. I mean, we'd be talking about some kind of prophesied hero with, like... the power of dragons. Don't think it's someone I'd want to mess with, if I can help it."
Serana blew. "Pft. I don't think a lot of people will have a prayer against you now that you're... well, nobility, shall we say."
"I don't know," Roë said, hopping in the boat and grabbing an oar. "Don't feel like finding out. If it's true." Maybe she did. She couldn't kill herself, but perhaps the Dragonborn would do her a service by destroying her. But that wasn't an option right now. Serana needed her. Or maybe it was the other way around.
They rowed, came ashore at the other end of the strait, and set out for the College. It was on the northern shoreline, past Dawnstar (the village she'd almost made it to) and to the north-eastern end of Skyrim. It wasn't that long a walk, and they only had to spend one day in a cave, sealed away from the world, before they made it to Winterhold, the small hamlet home to a big College. It was only one road with a few hovels planted on either side, but the College itself seemed significant enough: broad granite steps led to a bridge, and the bridge in turn led to a large building set on an island just off the coast. Certainly looked like a defensible place. And since it contained a slew of mages, even more so.
They went up the snow-covered steps and were stopped by an Altmer woman, clearly a mage from the looks of her. "Greetings. This is the College of Winterhold. Have you come to study magick?"
Serana chuckled. "Not exactly."
"We're here for the library," Roë said flatly.
"I see," the Elven woman said. "I'm afraid the College is mages-only, so unless you are – "
She was cut off by the sight of the big, sharp icicle slowly spinning in the air between Serana's fingers, the tip aimed straight at the woman's face. Icy vapours wafted from the sharp piece of frozen water.
"Ah. I... I see," the Altmer stammered, clearly impressed by the ease, speed and control with which Serana had summoned the icicle and made it rotate without launching it. Serana's face had an impatient look. "Er, yes. Yes, I suppose that... makes for an efficient demonstration. Please, proceed."
To gild the lily, Serana, from the same hand, produced a small but scorching cone of yellow flame, that melted the icicle away in mere seconds, her face still annoyed with the delay.
"Uh, yes... yes, impressive. Two elements at the same time. From... one hand. It's... remarkable. Please, be welcome."
"Thanks," Roë said as the woman stood aside. She didn't really mean it.
"Showed her good," Serana grinned as they crossed the bridge. She'd clearly had more pleasure in it than she'd shown. "'Here to study magick', what a joke."
Yes, these mages were probably amateurs compared to Serana and her countless years of training. She was getting back into her own, Roë saw, the magick coming more easily and looking more powerful. She wondered how mighty Serana really would be when she was back to full strength. Vampire Lady or no, she still never wanted to go up against Serana. How could she ever want that. And she was sure she'd never have to either, so the train of thought was a stupid one.
"This looks like it cost a pretty penny," Serana remarked when they found themselves in the courtyard, a round plane set with columns, a luminous blue font in the middle, bubbling ethereally with magickal power.
"Yeah, they didn't spare a septim or two," Roë muttered, looking around the place.
"Visitors?" one of the mages greeted them with a curious look. It was a Dunmer, dressed in a robe, with a hood. His hair looked ginger in colour, strange for a dark elf. "Welcome to the College. Are you here for lessons? Or research?" He paused for a moment. "Yes, you are clearly fellow mages. Research then?"
Serana nodded, and Roë said, "We're looking for your librarian. We have... uh, research questions he might be able to help us with."
"Certainly. The library is inside. When you've passed the double doors, head right, up the stairs. Urag gro-Shub will gladly assist you." He changed his mind. "I'll walk you there, if I may."
"Sure," Serana said, "That'd be nice."
The mage led them inside, into the atrium, an enormous hall, also round. In the middle stood a mage with long white hair and a white beard, holding his hand out in front of him, a small object in his palm. As Serana and Roë looked up, the orb in his palm bounced upwards, and with a loud clack-clack-clack sound, expanded into a crackling orb of glowing magickal energy, bathing the atrium in a bright light.
The old man had staggered back from the surprise, and now let out a high-pitched, "Oh my!"
"Excuse me," the Dunmer escort said. "I should go see what just happened. Up these stairs, see Urag gro-Shub." He made to leave, then checked, "Oh, and by all means stay the night, there's guest rooms in the west wing. Be sure to enjoy a nice dinner in our refectory too." With that, he hurried off to the ball of glowing energy, around which more and more mages gathered, their jaws slack.
"Wonder if he was someone important," Serana muttered quietly.
"Probably not," Roë said. "Just some random student or something."
"Come on, library. Let's go find this priest. Oh, and we should stay and have dinner. If those Dawnguard bucketheads are looking for us, we can't arouse suspicion."
"We uh, might arouse more suspicion by actually having dinner and not eating it," Roë pointed out, but Serana simply shrugged.
"You can still eat, it'll just make you feel really unwell."
"Oh. Well that's a big relief then."
They ascended the stairs, and when they emerged into the big library, a massive room with shelves stacked to the ceiling with books, Roë heard herself comment flatly, "there's the librarian. And he's an Orc."
"I heard that, you impertinent flower-sniffer," the librarian called back. He was an Orc alright, though with a long white beard, tied together with rings. "I'm also an Orc with excellent hearing."
Briefly, the urge welled up in Roë to threaten, and what are you going to do about it, greenskin, but she repressed the impulse and instead just said, "Well. It's unusual, isn't it?"
What had that sudden burst of anger been about? It wasn't like her, even after her change.
"Unusual for you, maybe," the Orc grunted. "For me an Orcish librarian is a daily occurrence."
"Forgive my friend's rather tactless and hastily chosen words," Serana fixed the situation. "We've had a long journey and fatigue does no wonders for people's sense of courtesy."
"Seems so," the Orc retorted. "So, you have business here?"
"We do as it happens," Serana said, stepping forward and taking the lead in the conversation. "We're looking for a sage. Found some old text pertaining to the Elder Scrolls and figured a Moth Priest should take a look at it. And who better to ask where to find a Moth Priest than the chief librarian of the College of Winterhold?"
The Orc harrumphed. "Your flattery is transparent, but at least you make the effort." He began pointlessly rearranging papers on his desk, as people are wont to do when they are uncomfortable. "A Moth Priest, you say? And why should I tell you, provided I've even seen one?"
"We're not asking for your books or your money here," Roë said, irritated. "Just some information."
"Information leading, maybe, to a better understanding of the whereabouts of the Elder Scrolls," Serana added. "Something which would benefit everyone, especially the College."
"You won't mind my seeing this text, would you?" the Orc asked with a sneer, his tusks even barer than normal. Figured he'd ask that.
"I could," Serana answered playfully, "but then I'd have to kill you." When the Orc's frown deepened and he reached for something behind his counter, Serana quickly laughed and said, "Come on, that was obviously a joke."
"Look," Roë said with a sharp sigh. "We just want to talk to him. That's all."
"And please, accept this donation for your library. It has plenty of books, but it can always use more, can't it?" Serana placed a heavy bag of gold on the table. From the size and weight, it looked to be at least a thousand septims. Of course, what was mere gold for people who 'lived' forever? Castle Volkihar doubtless had well-filled coffers.
The 'donation' did not miss its effect, and the Orc looked at the bag, stroking his white beard. "I... suppose there's no harm in telling you. The Moth Priest is on his way to Dragon Bridge. Supposed to be some important documents in the library there." With a snort, he added, "a pitiful little cubbyhole of a library, but there you go."
"I'm sure it's nothing compared to this enormous vault of knowledge," Serana said with a smile. Once again, Roë realized how utterly disarming she was. Never said a wrong thing, never did a wrong move. It was like she was always in control of every situation.
"Indeed!" the Orc replied, blind to the flattery this time. "The very notion is absurd, but then, no one ever said Moth Priests can always be counted on to make rational decisions."
"I hear you," Serana said. "I'm not even sure he'll be able to help us, if he's that dim-witted."
"Quite. The library thanks you for the generous donation, madam." With that, he made the bag disappear under the counter.
With a confident smile, Serana said, "Always happy to further the pursuit of knowledge. Now, let us pursue some knowledge of our own."
So they had a location. Good. Dragon Bridge wasn't that far off, they could probably get there by nightfall tomorrow if they gave this place the laugh. There was no reason to stay, in Roë's eyes, but as they walked down the stairs it turned out Serana thought differently.
"Since we're in a good place for clean and safe blood," she said, taking Roë aside in a corridor, "why don't we pop your..." her eyebrows flicked up, "... cherry."
"You mean..."
Serana nodded, with a lewd leer. "Your first live victim."
It was about time. She'd have to learn sooner or later, and she felt that despite her power, the animal blood didn't suffice to really invigorate her. She needed more and though the thought repulsed her, it excited her as well. "It's scary but... Can't put it off forever, can I?"
"No," Serana said. "Gotta jump into the deep end sooner or later. And this is the College, blood will be clean here. No diseases or inferior vintages."
"You'll be with me right? Make sure I don't...?"
Serana shook her head. "Can't. Interrupting a vampire during feeding is one of the worst things you can do. If I tried to stop you, you'd go berserk and try to kill me, not even realizing what you're doing. We'd probably trash half this College before one of us bites the dust."
"Really? So I have to do this... alone?"
She nodded. "Way it has to be."
"Alright, so... how do we do it?"
"Well, the feeding will be easy," Serana said, "just bare those little fangs and feed. Don't worry, even if you weren't squad chief of the guard, it'll come naturally."
"Yes, but, I mean...?"
"The framework? Tch, easy. Just look for a guy who's only after one thing. Those are the easiest targets. You're cute, or at least you would be if you didn't frown all the time, so you won't have much trouble." Serana looked her up and down in the gloom of the unused corridor. "Though I might suggest two oranges in your shirt."
"Hey!"
"Come on," Serana grunted, pulling Roë's collar down. She wasn't wearing her breastplate, the straps had snapped after all, just a tunic, and Serana pulled at the collar so it exposed some cleavage. Well insofar as her small tits could produce cleavage of any kind. "Let's get you showing a bit more skin. And let's try getting your seduction act in order. You'll need it, trust me. Go on, show me your moves."
Feeling Serana's fingers against her skin was strangely pleasant, ice cold as they were.
Without realizing what she was doing, Roë did what Serana asked. She lifted her head and caressed Serana's hair. "I... I want you to..."
"Yes?" Serana asked enthusiastically. "Want me to what?"
"Take me to a private place, and..."
"Yeees?" Serana asked, sounding sultry, bringing her face closer. Were they still practicing?
"And..." just saying it felt like it sent warmth through Roë's cold body, "... take my clothes off."
Abruptly, Serana pulled back, and in a perfectly normal voice said, "Well. You don't need to go that far, just taking them somewhere private is usually enough. But the promise of clothes being taken off should be a potent motivator, yes. Love the nervous innocent doe act, perfect!"
Right. So they had been just practicing. For a moment there it had felt like something more. "Well I just thought... you know, that it might work better."
"Yes," Serana said. "It does. Just... well, you don't actually have to... you know."
"No, no, of course not," she felt her little laugh gallop with nervousness and disappointment and hoped Serana didn't notice. But she'd noticed it in herself alright. Then again, it could just be nervousness at faking the whole flirting thing.
"Right," Serana said. "Now that we've got you a bit sexied up, let's get to the refectory. We'll find a guy there who just runs after his dick. Trust me, I can spot them from a mile away. That kind of man, they... deserve it. The kind that lies about their motivations. The ones that don't take 'no' for an answer."
"I thought we weren't going to harm them?"
"We're not," Serana said. "But that doesn't mean we shouldn't prefer guilty victims over innocent ones."
"I... guess."
"Come on, let's sign into the guest registry or whatever, and grab a bite to eat. Remember, we can't arouse suspicion, so we'll have to eat at least something. Or hide it in our frocks, but that might not work for all the seducing."
"No. Wouldn't want our meatballs to fall out when we're about to grab our prey."
"Exactly."
They left the corridor, went to the guest wing and signed in, paying a few septims for the room. The College drastically undercut the rate of the inns, but then again, not every yokel could come bunk here. After dumping their stuff in the guest rooms, they descended to the refectory, Serana giving one final bit of advice, "Oh, and don't worry about having to do stuff with them. Once the fangs sink in, and you drink, they'll just fall asleep. Shouldn't have had so much wine etcetera, you know."
"Right."
She frowned sourly. "Not gonna take my advice about the oranges?"
"I'll give you an orange upside the head if you don't stop insulting my womanhood."
"You could, but I don't think it'd work wonders for our seduction teamwork, me sitting there with a half-squashed orange on my head."
"Yes, well..."
The refectory was a moderate-sized hall, with tables set in lines against each other. The chairs looked functional but not very comfortable. On the far side, behind a counter, stood a corpulent Redguard, stirring pots and flipping meat. The smell of the food, which would usually make Roë ravenous, now nauseated her.
"C'mon, get something to eat. Anything."
"Ladies," the portly Redguard called out cheerily when he saw the two women (or what he thought were women) approach his massive stove. The thing was kept lit with strange blue-green flames, probably magicka at work. "Something to still your hunger on this cold night?"
"Yes, thank you," Serana said, equally enthusiastically, taking a plate and holding it out. "I'll have some stew, please."
"Absolutely," the cook singsonged, sploshing a ladleful of the brown stew on her plate. Roë didn't have the energy to be cheerful, she simply felt nauseated. The stew would have been wonderful if she'd been alive and now all it did was revolt her. It looked and smelled like shit slapped on a plate.
Still, she croaked, "I'll have the same please," earning her another splat of crap stew.
"Nevermind my friend," Serana said with a lovely smile. "She's tired from the trip. Feeling a little ill."
Roë wished Serana didn't always have to apologize in her place.
"Not to worry," the cook laughed. "Your eyes look hungry enough though."
Yeah, Roë bet they did.
She sat down with Serana. The only person still in the refectory was a female Argonian. Obviously a terrible target. Roë didn't hesitate to make that known.
"I know," Serana said. "But patience always gets you dinner. It's all about waiting."
And no sooner did Serana's words leave her mouth, than a person entered the room. A Nord, from the looks of him. Rather young as far as Roë could tell under the cowl.
"Hmmm," Serana gauged. "Looks promising so far."
From what Roë could tell, yes it did.
The young man strode to the stoves, passing by Roë and Serana, who had strategically positioned themselves to be in the path of every new arrival on his way to the stoves.
"Oh, hello," he said, slowing his step. "Haven't seen you here before. New students?"
Serana gave another of her disarming smiles, leaning slightly towards him, her chin on her wrists. "No, visitors. Doing research."
"Oh. Anything I could help with?"
"Depends," Serana said, still looking painfully seductive. "What is your field of... expertise?"
Roë noticed that he was wearing a heavy type of reinforced mail under his cloak. Seemed not all mages were squishy and limp-wristed. Hunger made her throat go dry. He was handsome enough, if a bit baby-faced. That was good, because it made the seduction routine more credible.
"Just a moment," the Nord said with a smile, briefly ordering a roast crab leg from the cook and returning, sitting at their table without being asked to. Cocky, but it meant their ploy was working.
"Right. Well, I'm just an apprentice, really. Not sure if I'll be any help?"
"I'm sure you can be," Serana said, and Roë winced when she put a spoonful of shit stew in her mouth and chewed and swallowed like it was nothing. "We're looking for a Moth Priest, but I think we've got a pretty good lead, so we're just here taking a load off. Chewing the fat a bit. Though, maybe a tour would be nice?"
Good thinking, Serana. Make them drop their guard with an innocent question.
"Wish I had the time," the Nord answered, "but I've got an early class. Tomorrow evening, maybe?"
"That's alright," Roë said, trying to take a more active part. "But you'll sit with us for a bit longer, won't you?"
"Of course," he said. "Was feeling a bit embarrassed just sitting down without an invitation. Don't want you to think I'm a creep or anything."
Serana's smile never disappeared. "Don't worry, we don't." Although Roë knew Serana hoped he would be.
"Good," he said, finishing his crab leg. "Let's hope one of my fellow students doesn't think so either."
This time, Serana's smile did weaken, and her eyebrows lowered slightly. "How's that?"
He leaned in. "I've uh, got a bit of a crush on Brelyna, one of the other students, but I don't want her to think I have... you know, bad intentions."
"Ah," Serana said, and Roë knew she was the only one who could see her disappointment for what it was. "Well, you should introduce her to us some time."
"I will." He got up and touched the brim of his cowl. "Well, ladies, I really should go to bed. Name's Onmund, by the way.
Serana pointed at herself, then to Roë. "Morgiah and Akorithi. Pleasure."
"Likewise. Perhaps we'll run into each other tomorrow?"
Serana smiled again, a different smile this time. "Perhaps."
"He was no good," Roë grunted at Serana as the Nord walked away.
"No good at all. Balls, the one man we see in this damn refectory at this hour and it has to be some kind of golden-hearted romantic."
"And what was with the fake names?"
"Just being careful."
Being overdramatic, more like. "Let's just go. There'll be other occ – "
Serana shut her up by putting her hand on her shouder. "This one. Oh, so much this one."
The man who came in was a young Imperial, with sand-coloured curly hair and an arrogant look on his face. He tried to hide it, but he was clearly looking for Serana and Roë. When he saw them, he quickly looked away, as if he hadn't noticed them.
"Yes," Roë said, "I think this one's going to be the one."
"Has to be."
The man pretended not to notice them, went to get a plate filled, and then acted surprised to see them. "Evening ladies," he said, trying to flash a winning smile but only succeeding at looking like a complete jerk. Serana quickly exchanged a glance with Roë. "Mind if I join you? Eating alone is so alone."
Roë knew instantly that this guy was bad news, but Serana, as always, smiled and said, "It's your Guild, you sit wherever you like."
"Well, in that case, wherever I like is here," the man said, trying to project an aura of unflappability. His way of acting made Roë feel particularly uncomfortable. She'd known this type in life too, and she knew what they wanted. But this time, this was what they wanted too.
Still, he repulsed her on a visceral level, and she was having serious doubts about taking this one as a victim. "Shouldn't we..." she asked, but Serana cut her off, "No, no. It's alright. We can have a chat. Get acquainted with some of the Guild people."
He was looking at their eyes, seeing that something was wrong, but not knowing what. Roë hoped he didn't see, because she didn't want to have to fight her way out of this place.
"Can I interest anyone in some more wine?" he asked, clearly going for the standard tactic of 'get them drunk and have your way with them'. He repulsed Roë even more.
"No thank you," Serana said, still with her friendly smile, thankfully sparing their stomachs from wine. "We're good. Don't want a hangover tomorrow."
He seemed to remember himself, and his leer briefly faded. "Oh, forgive me I've been rude. Name's Acrus Vadosus. Student at the College, but... probably not for long."
"Why not for long?" Roë asked. If this guy was on the verge of being kicked out, that would make it easier to isolate him. If she even wanted to, because right now, she didn't.
"Oh, I'm not about to get kicked out or anything," Acrus said quickly. "But I'm working on something, with the lecturers, that might, well... make me eligible for quicker advancement."
"Really?" Serana asked, leaning back in her chair, switching tactics to flattery. "Feel like sharing?"
"I would," the guy admitted, "but I've been instructed not to talk about it."
As if. He probably thought he'd make more of an impression if he acted like it was a closely guarded secret, and thus very important.
"I can respect that," Serana said, acting impressed. "My name is Serana, this is Roë."
Hm, no silly pseudonyms this time.
"Pleasure to meet you, Serana. Roë."
"And you, Acrus," Serana said to him. Roë supposed she might as well nod back. Behind them, the cook turned off his stoves and began cleaning up.
"May I ask what brings your charming persons to our Guild?" the narcissistic lecher asked.
Thankfully, Serana replied, "You certainly can, but I fear we have to give you the same answer. We're not at liberty to talk about it."
"And I, in turn, can respect that too."
Apprehensive as she was about the man, Roë felt her hunger intensify, and she knew it was visible in her eyes. But let it be visible, he'd just think it was a different kind of hunger.
And see it he did, visibly needing effort to stick to his patient strategy. "Well, can you at least tell me where you're from?"
"Certainly. I'm from a castle just off the shore, all the way North."
"Ah. The both of you?"
"No," Roë said, wondering if it was a good idea to share the information, but deciding it wouldn't do much harm in the end. "I'm from Solitude originally." She briefly looked at Serana and stuck with a neutral, "Was with the Guard. Then took up bodyguarding."
"Ah," the young man said back. "Yes I suppose the increase in pay alone would make that a worthwhile choice."
No. No, it wasn't a choice, much less worthwhile. "It was... more a matter of necessity."
He was focusing entirely on her now. "And the bodyguarding life finding you well?"
Roë could do no better than shrug and say, "It's alright." It wasn't alright, the bodyguarding life. The bodyguarding was fine, but it was the 'life' part that stung.
"And where'd you blow in from, Acrus?" Serana shifted the focus back to him. "This College doesn't seem like a place where babies are born."
"No, I came from the Imperial Province. Was a bit tired of the way they practiced magick there." Roë saw Serana raise an eyebrow to make him explain. "I don't know. Too bookish. Repeating gestures and words over and over and over again. The magick here is much more... primal, to put a word to it. You feel the weave and you pluck the threads you need, weave them into a spell, and you're casting magick. In Cyrodiil, you have to practice finger-gestures for a year before you're even allowed to look at a spellbook."
Oh, get over yourself.
"I see," Serana said, leaning back in her chair, relentlessly continuing her scheme of letting him think he was seducing her. "You're a man of instincts rather than book smarts?"
He chuckled. "Well, I like to think I'm both. Just my way of actually practicing magick is more suited to Skyrim than Cyrodiil. Just wish the weather was better."
"Oh, you and me both," she responded. Despite her gut reaction to the man, Roë felt her hunger mount. It would soon win out over her dislike of him. She saw his eyes briefly linger on Serana's breasts and hoped Serana wouldn't overdo it so he'd only be interested in her.
"Yes, the weather here certainly isn't like Cyrodiil," the guy continued on what he thought was a winning streak. "I prefer a nice little sun, so you can go for a swim. Riverbank weather, you know?"
"M-hm. I know. Lovely, isn't it?" Serana said.
This prompted Roë to give Serana a mystified look. Serana? Thinking the sun was great weather. Roë knew lying was part of it, but Serana was really going all-in on this one.
The College student had to reach for his glass of wine, probably because he needed to quench his crude fantasies. Roë would have shuddered if she was still human.
Instead, she got a look from Serana, first at her, then at her plate. Roë knew what she meant. Her plate had been untouched, the stew sitting on it like a cooling pile of shit.
She supposed she'd have to. With a lot of reluctance, she took up a spoonful of horker stew and stuck it in her mouth. Y'ffre it even tasted like shit! She didn't chew, just swallowed it down as it was, feeling the putrescence slide down her throat and into her stomach, where it sat and pulsated like the stinking filth that it was, making her grimace from the nausea and cramps in her belly. For a moment, she thought it'd come back up and she'd retch it all out on the table, but she kept it down.
"Is something wrong with the food?" the guy asked, clearly putting on a concerned act. "Would you like me to bring you something else?"
"No, no," Serana answered in her stead. "Roë is just a fussy eater."
"Are you sure? It's no effort."
"No. No thank you," she croaked, feeling horrible. "I've uh... got some trouble eating after bruising my abdominal muscles yesterday." It was an explanation. Not the best, but it was one.
"I think I'll retire now," Serana said abruptly, rising from her chair.
What? Was she going to leave her all alone? Just like that? "What?" she heard herself blurt out. "But weren't we, I mean..." She stopped herself before saying some very wrong things. The college boy was as surprised as she was, and she did enjoy the look on his face as he realized he wouldn't be running his dirty hands up and down Serana's ivory skin tonight.
"No," Serana said. "I'll... leave you two to it." Oh cack, now it was clear what Serana had been doing. She'd been deliberately giving the guy the impression that Roë was his consolation prize, that she had warmed him up, and that he'd now have to make do with 'just' Roë. And since she'd got his expectations so high, he wouldn't be able to say 'no' to plain and unwomanly Roë. So now the guy was stuck with her even though he'd probably hoped to give it to her tonight. She was a damn consolation prize. She wanted to hate Serana for it, but she realized she'd never be able to do what Serana did, at least not on her own.
To make it even worse, Serana couldn't resist saying, "Make sure he's fit for lectures tomorrow," before walking to the guest quarters. She felt like meat, and the idea had been to make the other guy feel that way in the end. He would though. In the end.
"Well uh..."she stammered, feeling beyond ashamed. "I'm going to sit here for a little bit longer. You?"
"Of course," Acrus said with a smile. "I'd be a fool to pass up a chance at spending time with a beautiful lady."
He'd called her beautiful, how generous of him. The guy didn't mean a word he said, and this just made her even sadder. She'd feel elated at getting the compliment under normal circumstances, but like this... the compliment had been meant for Serana, and now he just wasted it on her, just to get his rocks off. Best case scenario, he did it to put her at ease. In the worst case, he just wanted to trick her into taking him to bed.
She would, though. Just not the way he wanted it.
She tried to smile but could only feel ashamed. Even with all the power she had, all the nobility bestowed on her, she realized she was still nothing compared to Serana.
But the guy, he... something looked different about him. As if he was sitting there, getting a massive epiphany, his gaze far off, the spoonful of stew just suspended in the air, held up by fingers that didn't feel it anymore. And something had changed. His eyes, his face... it was as if his soul and mind were shaken by something, and as if he was trying to rearrange his changed thoughts and feelings. "Hey... are you alright?" she asked, genuinely concerned.
There was no response, the guy just sat there, slack-jawed.
"Uh... should I call someone?"
This did get through to him and it looked like it took an immense effort to just say, "No... no, I'm alright. I just... realized something."
Okay, now she was curious. More curious than she wanted to admit. That look had just been so... strange. "Nothing bad, I hope?"
"No," he told her. "Nothing bad."
She was surprised at herself that she felt relieved.
And like the different person he was, he said gently, "Lady Roë, this has been a wonderful evening, but I really should head to bed now."
"Really?" What? What was this now? Was he going to spurn her after all? "I thought... well, I thought we were having a pleasant evening?"
"We are," he assured her, and he looked sincere, "but I just..."
"Just what?" No, this was all wrong. Her hunger was too strong, her self-worth too fragile.
"I... feel like I'd be taking advantage," he said, looking like he was actually confessing. "You're obviously a nice person and, well... I can't explain it, but I feel like I haven't been honest with you."
What in Oblivion was going on? Had this guy just had his mind blown? "In... in what way," she asked, not knowing if it was her hunger or her self esteem that wanted to know.
"It doesn't matter." He seemed to struggle for words, contrasting sharply with the pseudo-confident charmer he had made himself out to be before. "But please believe me when I say it has nothing to do with you."
But it did. Had he caught on, maybe? Seen her motives for what they were? Or was he legitimately trying to change?
"Look," she said, aware of how desperate she sounded. She was so incredibly hungry. "I could really use some company tonight. Not... I mean, not because of anything lewd, just... I don't want to be alone tonight." Maybe this would block off his explanation of not wanting to take advantage.
Very briefly, she saw doubt on his face, even suspicion, but then it was gone again. "But... thing is, I don't want you to think I'm – "
"No. No," she said immediately. "I'm asking, so you're not taking advantage. If that's really the reason, then don't worry about it." Come on, say yes. Say yes, I need it.
He was clearly torn, not sure she was being sincere, and not sure she wasn't being an idiot, so he came up with what he probably thought was an intermediate solution. "Look, I'll walk you to your room at least. How 'bout that?"
"I... suppose." It was better than nothing. Maybe then she could find a way to give him that final nudge.
"Shall we?"
He did as he'd promised, walking Roë to her room, while telling her about the College, giving her a tour insofar as their route allowed, and sharing some gossip about the lecturers he'd caught from his fellow students. She tried to listen as best she could but all she could really hear was her hunger, gnawing at her, filling her with dread and necessity about her first live victim. Her throat was completely and utterly dry, and swallowing just made it worse.
They reached the guest wing, and the door to her room. And with that, the awkward moment Roë had been apprehensive about. Because she had to push through now. Convince him it was alright. She begun to realize that this may not be the target Serana thought about, and that the risk of killing him had now become significant, since he didn't seem like a bad person, but on the other hand... the hunger!
"Would you... like to come in?" she heard herself ask. It sounded hesitant and nervous.
After a brief, long moment of doubt, during which she saw a struggle in his eyes, he thankfully said, "Sure. Sure, why not."
She pushed the door open and let him enter, sitting next to him on the bed. Immediately, before he'd even had a chance to say something, she went for his collar and began undoing the buttons. He'd still show his true nature now, by trying to take her. He had to, because she needed this.
She worked his buttons, taking care to let him feel her fingers against him, while not letting him notice they were cold. He wasn't resisting, so he really did want to have his way with her, and if she'd told him no, he wouldn't have taken it for an answer, right? Right.
"Stop. Stop, Roë."
No, no, dammit! "Wh... what? I thought... I thought you wanted..."
He gently took her hands off the front of his shirt. "Yes, I want. But it's not about what I want."
"Yes it is," she protested. Dammit just be a rapist I need you to be a rapist! I need to lead you on and then say no so you can force me and I can feel justified in what I'm about to do. "It's fine, just let me – "
"I'm not an idiot, Roë. I know you're not doing this for the right reasons." When he was met with a blank stare, he continued, "Look, maybe you think you want this, but I've been watching you, and I don't think you do. I don't want to... make you do things against your will. I have... things to atone for. I'll stay with you if you like, but not... I'll stay with you just to keep you company. No, more than that. Just to be close to you."
She kept quiet, her eyes still on him. This wasn't happening. Damn it Serana.
"I want to do this right, Roë. And I think just holding you tonight is what's right. For both of us."
She looked at him for a few moments longer, then let out a desperate, frustrated groan, slumping forward, her arms hanging between her legs. This was all wrong. She couldn't do it, this guy wasn't the coercing type like Serana had said he would be. "Why does this have to be so hard?"
"I know, it's complic – "
"She said they'd all be after one thing. She said she could recognize them, and that you were like them," she heard herself groan, still slumped forward. Her will was too weak to stop the words from tumbling from her mouth even though she knew she was making a huge mistake. "That they all deserved it anyway."
His voice came surprised. "Roë... what did you say?"
She lifted her head again, feeling no tears but knowing she would have cried them if she could. And she heard herself confess, unable to keep it up. "I'm sorry... I've been lying to you. You're... not here for... well, that, but..."
Acrus jumped up from the bed. "Roë, then why? To rob me?"
She shook her head. If only. "No. You wouldn't believe it if I told you. Look, just... sit down."
He did so, but kept his distance. "Try me anyway."
She sat there, her eyes closed. She wanted to tell him everything, to let it all out, even though it would have terrible, terrible consequences. And out it came, without Roë being able to do a thing about it. "Serana said she could spot potential victims. Said she only picked the... 'acceptable targets', as she called it. The guys who were only after one thing, the ones who only saw you as meat. And... the ones who'd force themselves on you if you said no."
Acrus kept quiet.
"They were ideal," she heard herself carry on. "Because you could get them to do as you wanted, and when their guard was down..."
It had begun to dawn on him that what she'd had planned had been something much more terrible than robbery. "Then what, Roë?"
She looked up at him. "Serana will kill me if I tell you." She wouldn't, Roë didn't think so, after all they were friends, but she'd hate her, cast her out, even. And she wouldn't be able to protect her from her father.
"Then we make sure Serana doesn't find out," Acrus said to her, sounding confident and actually putting her somewhat at ease. "Are you... her prisoner?"
She could understand how he got that idea, but, "No, no. No, Serana is my friend, I... care about her. A lot. But it'd just be... really, really dangerous if I told you."
"Dangerous for you, or for me?"
"For us," she sighed. "Serana and me."
"Roë," Acrus said to her, "I promise you, right here, that nothing you say leaves this room. Part of you obviously wants to tell me, so if you want to, don't be afraid." He was completely different from the man who'd been at the table with her and Serana. She felt like... he could trust this guy, somehow. To her own amazement.
"Do you swear?" she asked, terrified of what she was about to do.
"On my immortal soul, Roë," he pledged, looking like he meant every word, and Roë believed him.
She had to think on how to break it to him best. "I'll... I don't think telling you would work. I'll have to show you." The thought terrified her even more, but this was the best way. She no longer had the strength to lie, to keep up the act. She just wanted to confess. To tell someone. To stop carrying this burden all alone.
"You don't have one of those freaky belly buttons that sticks outwards, do you?" Acrus said, apparently trying to lighten the mood a bit.
It worked a bit, a faint smile playing around her lips, but only very briefly. "No. Just... just watch."
"Alright. Whatever it is, I won't think any less of you." Roë thought to herself that he might soon be regretting that hasty promise.
She closed her eyes again, and let the illusion fall. She knew he saw her now as she really was, monstrous and ugly. But there was one more thing. She opened her eyes.
Acrus looked the way she had felt when she'd first seen Serana's blazing eyes, or her own in the mirror. His breath had stopped in his throat, and his eyes were wide with uncomprehending terror. "By the... " he began, but the words stalled in his throat.
"Am I that horrifying?" She asked, knowing the answer. "I haven't even dared to look in a mirror yet." At least not when she was like this, without the regal and immaculate illusion.
The man sitting next to her on the bed forced himself to resume breathing, and said in a hoarse voice, "No... it's... not that bad, it's just...your eyes. What are you? A daedra?"
"No." When she pulled her upper lip back and showed her sharp, elongated eye teeth, it did the trick.
"... Vampire?"
"I never asked for this," she could only say. "Never chose it."
"So you're Vampires, then? You and Serana?" He sounded remarkably collected, even though Roë knew he wasn't. It made her feel a bit less naked and ugly.
"Yes. She's really old, like ancient. I just... I didn't become this until recently." She couldn't get her voice to behave, the telling making her feel utterly miserable.
"And did you bring me here to... kill me and drink my blood?"
"Not kill you," she said immediately. "At least, not on purpose." But we chose you because it wouldn't be that big a deal if it did happen.
"What do you mean?"
She wouldn't have been able to stop herself from confessing even if she tried. "Serana said... well, that new... things like me, we... can't really estimate it well. Sometimes fledglings accidentally kill people when they're not supposed to. They take too much, and the victim dies after a while because of blood shortage. And sometimes they even... drink so much they kill the victim while they feed. That's dangerous, they can become monsters if they do that." The words were coming out like a waterfall now, and she was disgusted with herself for what she'd done. "Anyway, the danger is there in the beginning, so the first few victims are usually people who, well... wouldn't be a big loss if they died."
"Well thanks," he said hoarsely.
"Serana got you wrong, alright?" she pleaded. "She thought you were like those guys who were only driven by lust, who thought only about themselves. The sort of guys who wouldn't take no for an answer."
There was a strange zexpression on his face, as if he felt... guilty somehow. "So what happens now?"
"Now? I hope Serana's concluded her business here, because it won't be safe to stay. I believe you when you say you won't tell, but... we can't take the chance. They'll burn us if they find out. Well, unless Serana..."
"Unless Serana what?"
She looked away. "Unless she defends herself." And Roë with her. It would be a cataclysm, though if it would just be the College inhabitants that were destroyed, Roë didn't know. There would be a lot of people dead, that was certain.
"We're in the middle of the College of Winterhold, Roë. The greatest mages in Skyrim are gathered here. I don't think Serana – "
He didn't understand. Didn't understand the magnitude of it. "Serana is ancient, Acrus. I'm talking thousands of years old. And even though you might not believe me, she's a wonderful person," because she was, Roë was convinced she was, "she'd never hurt anyone if she didn't have to, but..."
"Anyway, it's all moot. I promise I won't tell anyone."
He meant it, she could tell, and relief washed over her. "Thank you. I'll go hungry tonight, maybe even starve, but I think it's for the best." It felt like a very real possibility, and even though she partly welcomed her end, she knew her body wouldn't allow it. It would send her on a murderous spree before allowing her to die.
"Starve?"
"I'm hungry, Acrus," she said. "I know my strength won't hold out much longer. Serana said starving Vampires rampage, but I... just don't have the will or the energy. So I think I'll just fall over and stop existing when I'm starved." At least, she hoped it would come to that.
"You... might not have to?"
What in Oblivion was he saying? "What do you mean?"
"Well... you say you choose bad people as victims, right? But there's something even better. Something you'd have to feel even less guilty about. A willing victim."
No way. Did he just offer... it was a dangerous offer, and she wanted to decline, but the hunger was too strong, pushing her to ask, "You'd... do that for me?"
"I don't know. Is it dangerous? I mean, can I... catch it?"
"No. Serana said feeding alone doesn't transfer the disease. It's the claws that do it. And even if it did, you'd just need your Restoration lecturer to cast a cure spell in its early stages. It's easily cured. If you treat in time." All she could do was lay her hands over her face and say, "I didn't." It came out like a peep.
"I'm... sorry, Roë."
"I can't even cry," she said into her hands. "I can't even cry anymore. I just want to cry." She did. So very much. But even that had been taken from her.
He kept silent. Boots bonked on the floor in the hallway. Probably a guard who passed by.
"Serana says it'll get better in time," she continued, "but right now..." she checked herself and realized she was pouring out her heart to a total stranger. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be bothering you with this. Anyway, I can't ask this of you. Even though it should be safe, I don't trust myself." After all, there had been Agmaer, knocked off the battlements to his death. The other she'd killed had been killers themselves, directly or indirectly, but not Agmaer. Not this young farm boy who wanted to be a hero. She hadn't known her strength, had underestimated how much the vampirism was in control when it wanted to be. And that was even before she'd become 'noble'. The word was a travesty in itself. "I... already killed someone, by accident."
"What, by overfeeding?"
"No. No, I've only... it's only been animals so far. No, I... didn't know how strong I'd become, and I killed someone who attacked us. Someone who thought he was doing the right thing, fighting monsters. A boy, not even a man yet, a naive farm hand who thought he'd help the world by fighting vampires. I... kicked him right off a rooftop," she confessed. She was sorry about it, so sorry. "I'm so sorry, Agmaer."
"Roë," Acrus said gently. "You said yourself it was by accident. You didn't mean for it to happen. You didn't mean to hurt anyone."
"No one ever does, Acrus," she said. 'I didn't mean to' didn't count. It was too easy. She'd done it, no matter what she'd meant to do. "But he's dead, and it's my fault. And that's why I'm afraid to accept your offer now. I might... might not be able to contain myself. And if you were like Serana said you'd be, it would be one thing, but you're sitting here, shaming me with your kindness." But how she wanted him to insist. How she wanted him to convince her.
"Roë. I'm not as kind as you think I am. I've changed, but I've done a lot of things wrong in my life," Acrus told her. Seemed he also had things to confess. "Your Serana wasn't that wrong about me. I've been blind and stupid, thinking only about myself, and I've hurt people, by being selfish and dishonest. I've got a lot of things to make up for. And I already started today. Let me follow through. We help each other, right?"
Her resolve faltered, the hunger taking over. She made one last attempt, hoping to fail. "It might be – "
He shook his head. "No, Roë. I have faith in you. You'll be careful."
There was no more discussion now, no more resisting. The hunger told her she'd had her chance, now it dictated what was going to happen. She was going to feed. "For what it's worth," she said, realizing there would be no stopping it, "I've heard that once you're past the pain of the fangs, it's a wonderful feeling."
"You mean, being fed on?"
She grimaced at the word. "Yes. Serana said we usually go for victims who are asleep, but apparently it's a feeling of bliss if it happens when you're awake. Or so I'm told." Her fingers played with the green woollen blanket on the bed and she forced herself to stop.
"Well, it doesn't matter. Roë, you need this." He put his hand on hers, and she felt its warmth "And so do I."
"Are you sure?" It didn't matter anymore if he was sure or not.
He nodded. "So do I just... tilt my head, or...?"
"Yes. Should be fine. Everything should come natural, Serana said. She was right about the animals too."
"Well, dinner's served, I guess," the guy actually tried to joke.
"You're sure about this?"
"Yes."
"Thank you, Acrus." He was giving her something incredible, knowing it might cost him his life. Because Roë couldn't guarantee she'd stop in time.
"No, Roë," he said. "Thank you, for giving back my humanity. No matter what happens now, you've saved me."
What the cack was he talking about? Saved him? All she'd done was lie to him and guilted him into being her victim. "I... haven't done anything?"
"Believe me," he said. "You've done more than you know." He tilted his head, exposing his throat, and pulled his collar down. "Sorry, I haven't shaved."
She felt herself smile at that. At least he could still see the humour in it. "We'll be gone when you wake up tomorrow. So this is goodbye."
"Goodbye, Roë. I'll never forget you."
"Nor I you." She meant it but didn't know if it was the truth.
He closed his eyes, and Roë, terrified and ravenous, felt things go almost automatically. She tilted her head and the fangs found his throat without her even thinking about it. They snapped through his skin as if she bit an apple, and rich, warm, red and full of power and vigour. A droplet ran down her victim's warm skin, and her tongue instinctively came out and licked it up. It was out of her control now, and she came closer to him, her prey lying back, until she was on top of him. Her eyes were closed, and she knew his were too, as she drank, letting the warm, powerful liquid run down her throat, sticky and rich in taste, so much that she drank and drank, enjoying the rush of every swallow she took, every mouthful she sent down her gullet. It was like she was alive! She actually felt alive! She wasn't in control, her body was doing everything on its own, and she couldn't stop, couldn't control it, couldn't do anything to tear herself away from this unbelievable ecstasy.
At the edge of her perception, she felt the body under her still breathing slowly, heard herself moan in pure rapture as she drank, her victim's arms wrapped around her, an erection pushing against her pelvis. She drank and drank, the world reduced to nothing but herself and her victim, and his warm lifeblood running inside her, pulsating through her body in massive, almost painful rushes of pure joy.
She didn't feel the person under her go unconscious, all she thought about was the ecstasy she was experiencing, clinging to this life-like feeling, beside herself with relief that she could experience it again. Strength and power surged through her, and she felt even more powerful than before, as if she could level buildings with her might and drain the world black with her magick. Every mouthful meant more power, more joy, more life.
And then there were no more. The flow stopped, and Roë's teeth lay in a dead, dry artery.
Her eyes flew open even before her fangs came out of his throat.
Oh no.
She pushed herself up so she sat on all fours, looking down on her victim. He was drained to white, the skin stretched taut over his skull. And yet, on his face was pure tranquillity.
She'd killed him. She'd overfed and killed him. Oh no, no, no.
A rush of thoughts assaulted her at the same time. Serana would do her head in. What about the body? What had she done to herself? Why hadn't she stopped? What would happen to her now? Had she started on a dark path? Or was this still correctable? Would Serana abandon her? Would someone discover them? Would the mages try to capture or kill them? Would they be lashed to a stake and burned? Would they –
Stop.
That voice again. The girl who wasn't a girl. It calmed her instantly and though it sounded soothing, Roë knew the owner of the voice was filled with pure malice and horror.
Calm yourself.
And Roë did. She felt herself grow less panicked, the whirlwind in her head slowing.
She had to go get Serana. She'd know what to do, it wouldn't be the first time she had to deal with this.
After a brief look at her victim, a man who'd unknowingly given his life for her, a man who'd offered his blood so generously and who she'd repaid by killing him, she opened the door and zipped into the hallway, tiptoeing to Serana's door.
"Serana," she hissed as she rapped the door, loud enough so she'd hear, but not too loud as not to bring anyone to investigate. "Serana!"
"What's the matter Roë," Serana said in a bored voice when she opened the door. "Can't sleep? It's normal for – " But then she saw Roë's face, and hers immediately grew alert with concern. "You've killed him."
"I..."
"Aedra damn it, Roë!" Serana snapped. "I told you to stop in time! I thought you could be trusted to d – "
"I know, alright?" Roë broke her off. "I don't need a fucking lecture!" Again rage rose up in her and she felt the urge to put her hand against Serana's face and ram her head through the wall. And the urge terrified her. Instead, she grabbed Serana by the shoulder and pulled her into her own room. "I can't undo this now," she hissed. "It... happened without me even controlling it."
She saw from Serana's face that she shouldn't have said that. "Roë... if you really can't control what you do when you feed, then..."
"I know." She knew all too well. "I know."
Serana remembered herself and briefly laid her hand on Roë's shoulder. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be freaking out. We'll deal with all the consequences later. Right now, we have to make sure this stays undiscovered."
She looked over the room, to the dead man lying sprawled on the guest bed. "No stains," she said to herself. "Good." Then, to Roë, "Did anyone see you leave together?"
She shook her head. "He walked me to my room and gave me a small tour, but the places we visited were mostly empty. Nobody saw us together. Well, except in the refectory."
"Right," Serana said, looking through the room, her hands in her sides. "We've got to get this dead guy out of here. He was just some student so I don't think he'll be missed before morning."
"He wasn't... just a student," Roë said quietly.
"What do you mean? Like, a lecturer or something?"
"No, no. He just... he was a good person."
Serana snorted. "Not from where I was sitting, he wasn't."
"Well he was, alright?" Roë snapped. "I... saw him for what he really was."
"Well, it didn't do him any favours in the end," Serana muttered, looking down at the pale, dead College student. "We have to smuggle him out. I don't know how, but – "
"I know how," Roë said. Acrus was dead, and nothing they did to his body could hurt him anymore, so she just opened the window and looked out, seeing the jagged rocks and frothing sea below. She looked back at Serana. "This way."
"You wanna... throw him out the window?"
"It's the only way. He's dead, he doesn't feel it anymore."
Serana made an uncomfortable face. "That's cold."
Roë didn't want to debate the issue further. They had to get rid of Acrus' remains and get out. She marched to the body, grabbed it under the arms, dragged it to the window (it went surprisingly easy with her vampiric strength), and lifted him up, letting him briefly hang over the windowframe to adjust her grip, and then just tilted him over, letting him fall down to his icy cold, watery grave. The wind howled too hard for her to hear the splash or the thump, and she knew it was better this way. Again she told herself that he didn't feel anything anymore.
"Well," Serana said flatly, "he's gone."
Roë slammed the window closed. "Don't think for a minute that I enjoyed that."
"You better not," Serana said sharply, her eyes narrowing. "Remember this feeling. Remember it well, because you may need this memory to save you next time."
"Serana," Roë said through clenched teeth, her anger inexorably rising. "I care about you, I really do, but I'm really unstable right now and if you don't stop lecturing me – "
"You're right." Serana spread her hands. "I'm sorry. I just... don't want you to go down the wrong path. But you're right, I'm sure you feel rotten, and that's probably the best way to keep it from happening again."
Roë sighed, weary of all of it. "Can we just go?"
"We're gonna have to."
The College was mostly empty at this hour, and they skulked through the hallways, easily able to avoid any encounter with guards or mages. In the great hall, the aged lecturer was still admiring the glowing orb of crackling energy, stroking his beard as he enjoyed the sight. They slipped past him easily.
The cold wind buffeted them as they crossed the bridge, the mage guarding the gate now replaced by a different one. Since the College focused mostly on keeping unwanted individuals out, the guard stood looking out at the village, his back to them.
Serana motioned for Roë to stop, then sneaked closer to the guard. Like a writhing snake, she sensuously coiled her arms towards the guard, then snatched him, sinking her fangs into his throat before he could react. He went limp in her arms and she drank, then gently lowered him to the ground.
Wiping the blood from her chin, she said to Roë, with a sheepish grin, "Guard duty can make a person so tired."
"How do you... how do you stop in time?" Roë asked.
"Just takes self-control." She put her hand on Roë's shoulder. "You'll learn. I promise."
"I'll have to."
"Yes, you will."
"Stop right there."
They were at the foot of the stairs, and emerging from the mist were four armoured humans, two of them bearing crossbows. Roë recognized the armour and helmet style immediately. "Dawnguard," she quietly said to Serana.
"Well," her friend said, not sounding very impressed, "it was long overdue I suppose."
"Drop your weapons," the man leading the squad shouted. "Slowly, no sudden movements." The wind was howling and the voice was distorted by the helmet visor, but Roë knew that voice.
She stepped forward, defying the crossbows aimed at her. "Kunod?"
The man adjusted his pose, putting his legs wider and lifting the crossbow. "Not one more step, Roë."
"Kunod," Roë said, now close enough to just speak. "It's me. Why are you doing this?"
"No, Roë," Kunod said. "It's not you. Roë died. You're the abomination that took her place. Same name, but that's where the similarities end."
Was he for real? Was he so indoctrinated by the Dawnguard that he'd turn on his former friend? No, not just friend, someone he'd cared about, even had romantic feelings for? Or was he right? Had she changed so much as not to be the old Roë anymore? Where did her old self end and her new self begin? Maybe she'd already passed that point?
The three other Dawnguard soldiers stood looking nervously, waiting for the order to attack, but from their stance, Roë could tell they felt more prey than hunter.
She pushed her doubts away and said gently, her voice barely audible over the wind that drove the snow hard against her skin. "No, Kunod. It's still me. I don't know what Isran told you, but this... this form? It doesn't change who I am. I'm still Roë."
"Get back," he simply said. "The Roë I knew wouldn't have killed a young, innocent farm hand."
"It was an accident, Kunod," she tried to explain. "I never intended for him to – "
"But you did. And the next innocent person you kill, you'll also say you 'never intended to'. And the next. And the next."
He was more right than he knew. But she really hadn't intended for Agmaer or Acrus to die.
"Kunod... this doesn't have to end this way. We can still survive this. All of us." She held out her hand. "Just lower the crossbow and take my hand. It's the same hand you've held before."
Kunod hesitated, just standing there for a moment, the only thing moving were the beard hairs that peeked out from under his helmet, stirred by the wind.
"I promise you," she said. "It's not a trap."
"Don't listen to her, man," one of the Dawnguard squad said nervously, his voice shaking. "It's a trick."
"You know what has to be done," a female soldier told him, her voice steadier. This one was holding a crossbow. "We need to kill these Vampires to save the innocent. To save them, too."
Roë just kept her gaze on Kunod's helmet, her hand outstretched.
"She's charmed him," the Dawnguard soldier shouted. "She put a spell on him."
Kunod's crossbow slowly lowered, and one of his gloved hands let go, extending towards Roë's.
Roë took a step closer and reached for his hand, their fingertips almost touching.
"Fuck this," the female Dawnguard growled. "I'm not letting this happen. Die!"
She released, and everything collapsed. Roë threw herself to the side, the bolt whizzing past her. A blast of flame roared overhead, and Kunod staggered back, protected from the brunt of the flames by his armour and helmet. Confused and acting purely on instinct, Kunod raised his own crossbow and pointed it at the prone Roë, shooting her right below the breastbone, the bolt thudding into the soft tissue of her abdomen. The pain was indescribable, but it was nothing more than pain. She heard herself let out a short, sharp wail.
Boots flew over her as one of the Dawnguard soldiers leapt for Serana, but the next moment, blood spattered in Roë's face. She tried to get to her feet but was bowled over by the female soldier body-slamming into her, the crossbow bolt wrenching as they tumbled, tearing open even more of her useless insides. The Dawnguard woman was strong, but no match for Roë's vampiric strength, fueled by the blood of her innocent victim. She smacked her fist into the woman's face, denting her visor and breaking her nose with a wet crack, taking her weight off her. Now it was her turn to be on top of her opponent, and pinning her down, she batted her helmet off.
The woman screamed and begged as Roë bared her fangs and let them sink into her throat. Blood spurted into her mouth a she tore the soldier's larynx out, severing the blood vessels. She got up, spat out the chunk of cartilage and tissue, and with a short stomp of her foot, snapped the gurgling woman's neck, her brown hair falling over her dead face.
She pulled the crossbow bolt free and threw it in the snow, but as she did so, she saw movement from the corner of her eye. She jerked her head back just in time to avoid the swipe of Kunod's longsword, aimed at splitting her face.
Serana stood over one of her opponents, her legs wide. She held the other back with some sort of repellent field she held up with one hand, against which he struggled but couldn't break free from. An icicle appeared in her other hand and shot straight into the eye hole of the prone Dawnguard soldier's helmet, blood spurting up as it impaled his skull.
Kunod had recovered from his wild swing, and advanced on her, holding his sword out in front of him. The beard hairs that came out under his helmet still smouldered and his breastplate and visor were blackened from the heat.
"Kunod," Roë tried to say. "It's not too late, you can still – "
But he paid her no heed, swinging again, so hard and fast she could only barely dodge the downward chop. Without her vampiric reflexes she would have been cleft in twain. Another swing, and Roë dodged it again. Then her foot kicked out, catching him in the chest and sending him back a few paces.
Serana dealt with her second attacker, telekinetically lifting him up and while he kicked and flailed, she impaled him chest-first onto a sharp tree stump.
Kunod came at her again, but Roë caught his wrist, and brimming with blood-strength, she broke it purely by the force of her fingers. Kunod's sword fell into the snow and he staggered back, holding his broken wrist, until he backed into a tree. "What... what happened to you?" he breathed. "When did you..."
"It doesn't matter," she said, sensing Serana coming to stand next to her. "Why didn't you take the chance to stop when I gave it to you?"
"Because..." he breathed, white puffs coming from the holes in his visor, "... because there's only one way I can set you free." He stood there, his legs wide, hunched over with his wrist in his hand. "I owe it to Roë. The real Roë."
"I am the real Roë," she snapped. "I'm still me, damn it!"
"Are you?" Kunod shouted. "Are you? Look at you, your chin red with human blood, telling me you're still the same Roë I used to know."
"He's not gonna stop coming after us," Serana said. "We have to end this, you know we do."
"Come with me," Kunod breathed. "If you're really her, then come with me and we'll let you sleep. Don't you want to be free of this?"
It didn't matter what she wanted. What she was now would always refuse to die, refuse to let itself be destroyed. "I am free, Kunod. Just different."
"You're not just different," he shouted. "You're... a monster, an abomination!"
"Now now," Serana scolded. "I'm beginning to take offence at this verbal abuse."
"If I let you leave," Roë asked, "will you leave us alone? Will you stop trying to kill us?"
"I... could say I would, but..." he admitted, "... it would be a lie. So go on, do it. Kill me. But know that everything I've done, everything I still do, is out of love for the person you once were."
"I don't need your love," Roë growled, "not that kind of love, and not from you." The rage welled up inside her again, and she let it take hold of her this time. Her hand shot out and clamped over Kunod's visor, pinning his helmet against the tree. "Don't you understand? I don't want your love! I don't want to be free! I don't need ignorant, self-righteous people like you telling me what I want and what I don't want! I don't need to be fucking killed out of mercy!"
Kunod's good hand clenched her wrist, trying to break her hold, but she held fast. "If the real Roë is somewhere in there – " he tried to say, but Roë cut him off, "I am the real Roë!"
Her anger became enormous and with a loud grunt, Roë pushed with all her might until, with the creaking of metal and the crunching of bone, Kunod's visor bent inwards and the grip around her wrist went limp. Blood washed down out of his collapsed helmet, and when Roë pulled her hand back, his body crumpled to the ground.
Serana came to stand next to her, looking down at the body of the man who'd once been Roë's friend. "Well. He's dead."
"Yeah," Roë said quietly. "I should be proud of myself."
"You did what you had to do," Serana said without emotion. "It was messy, but it was fast. He should be glad you made it quick. And uh, thorough."
"He was my friend," Roë said, still quiet, looking down at Kunod's lifeless body, snow shoring up against it and turning red where it melted in the blood. "He was a good person, and he wasn't lying when he said he did it out of love. He really thought he was doing a good thing."
"Well," Serana merely said, "Intentions are nice, but it was you or him. Let's go."
"I'm sorry, Kunod," she whispered, the regret inside her even colder than the snow on her skin.
Serana laid a hand on her shoulder. "Come on. We can reach Dragon Bridge tomorrow evening if we hurry."
"No, no... We've deviated."
"Have we?" Serana said, looking up at the city which lay before them. "Isn't this that Dragon Bridge place?"
Roë shook her head. "No. It's my home town. Solitude."
"Ohh," Serana realized. "The place where you were in the guard?"
Sadness washed over her at the sight of her old home. It seemed like centuries ago. "Yes."
"What's that?"
As Roë and Serana watched, torches danced on the bridge that connected the palace to the tower. "Muh. Probably something – "
Roë was interrupted by the sight of a human figure, tiny against the dusk sky, little more than a dot, launching off the bridge. Something happened to the jumper in mid-flight, a sort of shock sending the body flying end over end, arms and legs sprawled, plummeting down from a dizzying height, until it hit the water with a crash so loud Roë and Serana fancied they could hear it all the way where they were standing.
"What do you think that was?" Serana asked, intrigued but not impressed.
"No idea," Roë said. "But that fall would turn anyone into a really messy pancake. Probably a criminal they chucked off the tower or something."
Serana looked at her with an amused, mischievous face. "Really? I didn't know you had that kind of fun in the guard?"
"We didn't. But the Penitus Oculatus doesn't shy away from cruel and unusual punishment. They've got a detachment in the palace. My parents always told me they were in a different division. Not the torturing and executing bunch. I hope so."
"What's the Penitus Chocolatus?"
Roë grinned. "Moron."
Serana grinned back. "So what is it?"
"It's the Emperor's special... Look, we need to head southwest from here. I'll tell you on the way."
"Ooh, and tell me about your parents too!"
"Not much to tell. I don't see much of them, really."
"Hey, we should go meet them!"
"Don't push it."
Roë told Serana about the Penitus Oculatus, the Emperor's special protection unit, of which her parents made part, and Serana listened intently, occasionally interrupting to ask some personal things about her parents, things Roë answered while trying as much as she could to hide that every time she talked about her parents, it broke her heart.
Even though she didn't mind talking to Serana, the emotional weight was rather heavy, and she was glad to say, "We should be coming up on Dragon Bridge. Should see it when we crest this hill."
They saw Dragon Bridge alright, but the overturned, ransacked cart drew their attention right away from the town. It wasn't the first overturned cart in the history of Skyrim, but the things scattered around the capsized carriage were more than a bit relevant to their interests: as if they had exploded outwards, a mass of books was strewn around the cart, their pages flapping in the cold wind.
Serana and Roë exchanged a glance.
"Imagine if this isn't the Moth Priest's cart," Serana said. "How stupid would that be?"
"I bet it is though," Roë said, jogging down the path lined with purple mountain flowers, to the overturned cart. She kneeled down beside it and immediately had her assumptions confirmed. "Look," she said to Serana, holding up the robe that had been knocked out of the wicker basket along with all the other spare clothes. The embroidery, in gold, of a moth, left nothing to doubt.
"Looks like our Moth Priest flew into the fly swatter," Serana remarked.
"Tracks," Roë said, not wasting time. "And the horses are freshly slain."
"And drained," Serana observed. "I swear, does every Vampire conspire against every other Vampire in this age?"
"Probably. You're asking the wrong person."
Serana chuckled. "Right, forgot you were a wee little fledgling."
"Come on, we can still catch them. They've got a captive so they'll be moving slowly."
They ran in the direction of the tracks, for what seemed like half an hour, not getting tired, until they sighted their quarry: three figures dragging off another, dressed in a robe.
"Killing time," Serana merely said with subtle glee in her voice, breaking into a charge, an icicle forming between the fingers of the hand she held above her head.
Shaking her head, Roë ran after her, propelling herself forward on indefatigable, throbbingly powerful legs. She surpassed Serana, but the icicle, in turn, flew past her, burying itself in the back of the head of one of the Vampires, destroying his brain stem.
The other two turned, but between their struggling victim and their surprise, they couldn't put up much resistance, and Roë's shortsword slashed across the throat of one of them, half-decapitating him. On the backhand, she chopped in his face, then thrust her sword forward, piercing her victim's heart. The second fared little better, as Roë blocked his claw swipe with her forearm and grabbed her by the throat, lifting her up and smacking her down hard into the cobblestones, before impaling her through the back with her shortsword, destroying her heart as well.
"Moth Priest," Serana said to the prone figure, a bald portly man with a grey beard, "We're here to save you." With a chuckle, she added, "Well, sorta. On your feet, you're going to do some deciphering for us."