AN: Inspired by lyrics from " Ex-Miss" by New Found Glory
I had come home to Lima to see Blaine, not the musical. Despite everything I said to Rachel and others, I missed him. Missed hearing the sound of his voice. Missed seeing him on Skype. Missed getting little text messages from throughout the day. Most of all, I missed knowing there was someone who I could share anything that happened, no matter how trivial, with.
However, seeing him up on stage all I could remember was all the times he had hurt me. I remembered the "Gap Attack" fiasco where I had to smile and pretend that I wasn't dying inside as he tried to win someone else's love. Remembered the jealousy I had felt when he talked to or about Sebastian and how oblivious he had seemed to it. I remembered him trying to force himself on me in the Scandals parking lot after hanging all over Sebastian. Recalled the humiliation I had felt when he accused me of cheating in front of the whole Glee Club.
Maybe that is what hurt the most - the fact that he had gotten so bent out of shape because I was texting Chandler and then he goes and really cheats on me.
Rachel had been right. This was the worst thing I could have done. As much as I missed all those things about Blaine, the hurt was still to fresh and seeing him only intensified the hurt that I still felt by his actions.
Deep down I might still love Blaine but I wasn't ready to forgive his transgression yet. All this trip had done is make me wonder if I would ever be able to move past it.