Thank you all for your kind words again, it is so appreciated. I really try to get this updated more often, but you know mom stuff happens and life happens. I hope you enjoy all the feels. Warnings for Google Translate.
"We've gotten the preliminaries from her lab work back. Her white cell count is elevated and there has been some growth on her blood culture. We are running sensitivities on the culture to see what the best antibiotic for this would be. In the mean time we will be admitting her at least overnight. The attending may choose to keep her longer depending on the final results. I already have Sarah calling upstairs for a room." The doctor spoke, Blaine nodded in understanding completely all the while being uncharacteristically quiet.
Kurt on the other hand was completely lost. He waited until the doctor left the room to speak. "Blaine, everything he said was like I was in Charlie Brown. All I heard was whomp whomp whomp. What's going on?"
Blaine turned to look at the disheveled man to his left. "She has an infection in her blood. They are going to see what meds work to treat it, in the meantime they are admitting her for observation."
"Oh." He replied taking a moment to take Blaine's state into account. "Baby, how are you? Talk to me."
Blaine looked Kurt right in the eyes and sighed. "Honestly, I'm terrified. I mean I know this happens all the time but my baby girl, our baby girl is going to be hospitalized and I thought it was no big deal." Kurt watched as tears filled Blaine's eyes. "I feel like a horrible father." He finished with a whisper.
Kurt uncomfortably reached around to cup Blaine's cheek without disturbing their little girl. "Blaine, you are not a horrible father. You couldn't have known. I spent the whole way here and all the time waiting for you feeling the same way." Blaine leaned over so that their heads were touching gently.
"Thanks. And babe, you were amazing. Thank you."
Kurt managed a half smile and whispered over the sleeping girl "It's what I'm here for."
"I love you."
"I love you too." They moved their heads for a quick peck on the lips before they snapped back to reality. "I better call Santana." He used his free arm to wrestle the phone out of his pocket without jostling the little girl.
"I'll call Cooper."
With Blaine on the phone with his brother Kurt called Santana's office.
"Sullivan and Ferraro's, how may I transfer your call?" A cheerful voice answered.
"Santana Lopez please."
"She's in with council can I have her call you back?"
"It's an emergency. I need to speak with her now." He spoke firmly, forcing himself not to lose his control.
"Absolutely, I apologize. Who's speaking?"
"Kurt."
"Please hold."
It was about a minute later Santana finally picked up. "It better be good Lady, I was in the middle of council."
"Tan-" His voice finally cracked.
"What's wrong?" He could hear the worry in her voice now.
"Lili's in the hospital. She has a blood infection and trouble breathing. They are admitting her."
"Where are you?"
"MICH."
"I'll be right there." He heard her yell an 'I have to go Liliana's in the hospital' as she slammed down the phone.
After both disconnecting their calls they fell into a contemplative silence. It wasn't until Sarah came back in the room that they were pulled out of it.
"Okay Mr. Anderson, Mr. Hummel, they have her room ready, if you both can hop out of the bed, I'll get her ready for transport." They silently and carefully removed themselves from underneath the resting girl.
Kurt slipped into the hallway, allowing Blaine a minute to sign the paperwork the nurse brought in. Now for the call that would break his resolve.
Knowing his dad wouldn't have his cell phone on him he called the shop.
"Hummel Tire and Lube, free rotation with every oil change, Burt speaking; how may I help you?"
With a quivering, broken voice he replied. "Dad-"
"Kurt, what happened?" It was that moment, the moment he heard his dad's voice that his resolve broke.
An hour later the colorful inpatient room was full. The charge nurse and attending got Liliana settled into the room, did another nebulizer treatment and started her on the first round of antibiotics. Due to her fever not breaking for so long the physicians thought it best to start her on an antibiotic before getting the final results back, which could take more than twenty four hours. If after six hours they had no results from the high dose of antibiotics they would look into other options.
Not too long ago Santana and Cooper both arrived at the hospital causing a few eye rolls, and more than a few star shocked eyes towards Cooper. Cooper was conceited, there was no denying that. However, today was not the day to care about the mindless hookups and his not-so-celebrity status. Today he was concerned about his niece, the only girl who owned his heart, and her health. He ignored the whispers that would have usually stopped him in his tracks to start flirting and got aggravated when he heard a camera shutter. Seriously, we are in a fucking hospital. Are they really going to take pictures of me?
The tiny room was over crowding quickly. The nurses on the floor were stricter about there being so many people in her bed, they had more equipment up here in addition to them not wanting additional body heat to affect her fever. Blaine and Kurt sat huddled on the couch with Cooper and Santana sat in the reclining chair next to Liliana's bed. He learned her head to the side on one arm rested on the side rail of the bed and stroked her hair with the other hand.
Liliana opened her eyes slightly and took a minute to focus as she came back to consciousness. With a broken smile she spotted Santana stroking her hair. "Mommy." She croaked out, causing Santana to immediately speak.
"Sssh angel, rest your voice."
"I don't feel good Mommy."
"Ay, I know mija. Odio verte así. Sentirse mejor mi dulce ángel. Te quiero." Liliana just smiled and closed her eyes again. Santana smiled and sighed as she continued to stroke her hair.
It was not five minutes later when the door opened yet again. "Hello again Mr. Anderson, and Mrs. Anderson?" The doctor asked, earning a hearty laugh out of the entire room.
"Ay dio- no. Shortlock Holmes over there is not my husband, not even my man. Not my type, but Twi- nevermind." She ended when Kurt shot a glare her way.
"I apologize, she just looks just like you." Blaine and Santana just nodded at the man. "Right. Well, her the prelims came back and it looks as if the erythromycin that we have her on should work on the infection. Now we are going to look for the source of the infection. I also think it's safe to say that she has RSV as well. I am planning on keeping her here for at least the next two days. I don't want her leaving until her O2 is back up to 95 minimum without the aid of supplemental oxygen. She also has to be fever free for at least 24 hours. Now do you guys have any questions for me?"
The room just shook their heads and the doctor quickly bowed out of the room, somewhat overwhelmed by the intensity in the room.
"I'm going to go get some coffee? Is anyone hungry?" Cooper stood up, his eyes wondering over each member of his family that sat in the room. Every eye in the room was focused on the tiny lump under the covers, all each of them offered him was a solemn nod of the head.
Cooper quickly left the room and headed over to the nurse's station, much against his better judgment. Thankfully the fangirl nurse wasn't at the desk and he was greeted by one that could care less if Johnny Depp walked up to her. She didn't look like she cared about much of anything at all.
"Hi, excuse me." The nurse just popped her gum and looked up from her paperwork. "My niece was admitted not too long ago and is going to be here for a while. I'm not really familiar with the area, and I am looking for decent take out and coffee. Is there anywhere around here that I can order from?"
She silently opened the drawer beside her and pulled out a folder. She rifled through the folder and grabbed several different flyers. "This one is a vegan place that's really good. And this is a really good sub place. There is also a Panera down the street and two blocks over."
Cooper took a quick look through the flyers and logged their location into memory. "Thank you so much – Lydia." He said reading her name tag. "I hope you have a great day." Before he turned he thinks that he actually saw her smile. Cooper loved any day he can make someone smile.
While Cooper was gone, Blaine and Kurt managed to fall into a restless sleep. The two men's emotions finally came to a head and exhausted them both. Santana looked over at the two, limbs tangled together on the small couch on the side of the lilac colored room. She let a small smile creep across her lips and climbed into the bed beside the little girl; doctors be damned.
She was careful not to jostle the wires that were connected to the little girl, who looked smaller than ever. She laid on her side, resting her head on one arm and started stroking the dark brunette hair with the other. She looked at her seemingly fragile daughter and smiled.
Out of all of the men that Kurt could have fallen in love with, it had to be Blaine Anderson. She had never been more grateful for anything in her life. For four years she regretted her decision to give her away, she hated herself every day. She buried her pain in booze and bitchiness, only letting her true feelings show with the one person who never judged her, the one person who could always see through her façade: her best friend. Why couldn't they have just tried harder, worked a couple of jobs each and did it themselves. Why did she have to miss all of her firsts? They had missed her first smile, the first time she sat up, her first word, her first birthday. Thinking about it, tears began to fall down her cheek as she laid back and looked at her sick, sleeping daughter.
These past few months have showed her one thing: that the one thing she regretted more than anything in this world, was the best decision that they have ever made. She went to a family of two men who loved her dearly. She may have lost one parent already, but now she has three. She went to a home that loved and cherished her more than anything else in this world. She has a home that still does. She is on a pedestal and the love that her father shows her is unprecedented. It's definitely more than she ever got as a child. It is not that her and Kurt couldn't have given her that love, it's just – different.
She has realized that she was beating herself up for nothing. Blaine was an amazing father, who doted on her, raised her with a sense of morality that they were terrified would be lost on her. She remembered their discussion of their fears when they began talking about adoption.
"But what if – what if she goes to a bigoted family? I don't want her growing up like that." Kurt asked, a wavering cry in his throat.
"She won't."
"But if we keep her, than we can raise her how we want to."
"We can't."
"But what if they are so bible pushers, who read too deep into a book full of tales?"
"We just have to hope she won't."
"I can't."
"Neither can I. But we have to."
Blaine and Tony were the parents that, if they had to choose themselves, would have been the perfect people they would have chosen. Sadly, one of their lives were stolen far too young. A part of her heart panged for her little girl's loss. Part of her was glad that she was too young to really have understood the pain of losing a parent, too young to understand the pain that Blaine went through. Thankful that she had three other people in her life that loved her more than life itself. Another three living another life that loved her all the same, just not able to share in her life. Now the beautiful little girl has an additional four people who dote on her, who love her more than anything in this whole world.
She swallowed another tear before starting to sing.
"She's never pulled anyone from a burning building
She's never rocked Central Park to a half a million fans, screaming out her name
She's never hit a shot to win the game
She's never left her footprints on the moon
She's never made a solo hot air balloon ride, around the world,
No, she's just your everyday average girl (but)"
Santana sighed before starting the chorus. She kept singing in hushed tones, thinking she was loud enough for only Liliana to hear.
"She's somebody's hero
A hero to her baby with a skinned up knee
A little kiss is all she needs
The keeper of the cheerios
The voice that brings Snow White to life
Bedtime stories every night
And that smile lets her know
She's somebody's hero"
Blaine stirred at the light sound of Santana's raspy voice. He slowly opened one eye and his heart broke at the sight in front of him. He will fully admit that he has been more enamored with Kurt's relationship with the girl, mainly because he was with him more often. When Santana had her time with Liliana they were usually out and about and the two men stayed in. But watching her interact with the sleeping girl, really opened his eyes to Santana's more gentle side. Kurt had always said it was there, and he loved Santana's bitchiness, but this right here made him have a whole new appreciation for her.
Having a mother in his daughter's life was something that he would have never imagined. Yes, he had Brit, but she was more like the cool aunt than a mother figure. How did she get so lucky to get her actual parent's back in her life? He tightened his grip around Kurt's shoulder, pulling him closer. This is exactly how he can see spending the rest of his life – well – without the hospital of course.
He closed his eye again, leaving Santana to her moment of intimacy. He felt like he was somehow intruding watching them. So, he just continued to listen to her sing.
"Her mother's smile lets her know
She's somebody's hero"
A couple hours later, after the nurses and doctor's came in to do their rounds and did another round of treatments, Cooper went to work for the night, and Brittany had come and gone, the little family of four huddled around the bed enjoying the time that Liliana was awake and semi-alert. They were joking with the girl, trying to get her mind off of being in the hospital, which is kind of hard when you have a mask on your face and a needle in your arm, when there was a knock at the door.
Assuming it was a doctor Blaine yelled out "Come in." and returned his attention to his daughter. They were all focused on her face when they saw her eyes widen and a smile cross her face. All three adults quickly turned around to see who was at the door that got her so excited.
"Oh my God, Dad, Carole! What are you guys doing here?" Kurt jumped up from his seat and ran to hug them.
Burt pulled him tightly to his chest and held him there for a minute. "Did you honestly think you could tell me that my baby girl is in hospital and expect me not to come?"
"But the shop-"
Burt cut Kurt off immediately. "We are here until we are not needed anymore. Carole has a ton of sick time accrued and that's part of being the boss, I can do what I want. The guys can run the shop as long as I need them too."
Kurt just nodded and pulled away from his dad. "Thanks dad."
Blaine looked towards the floor, still feeling somewhat like an outsider to the close knit family. He watched Santana jump from her seat to hug the two people who were more like her parents than her own was. He felt a slight pang of jealousy watching her with her surrogate parents. It was ridiculous but Kurt and Santana had what he wanted. A loving set of parents. Hell he would have settled for one loving parent.
After a minute of watching the couple interact with Santana he looked back at his daughter and sighed. At least she would have what he yearned for. At that was really what mattered.
A tap on the shoulder startled him out of his train of thought. "Hey kid." He heard from his side and he turned his head to see Burt at his side, arms wide open. "Come here, give an old man a hug. You look like you need one."
Blaine couldn't help but to smile as he wrapped his arms around Burt. "Hey, come for a walk with me. Let Carole do her nurse thing with those two." Blaine just nodded and followed Burt out into the hall, still silent. Burt led him to the waiting room and stood in an empty corner facing Blaine. "How are you doing kiddo? I know this isn't easy for you."
"I- I'm okay." Blaine managed to mutter, not even able to make eye contact.
"No you're not. How about you try it again and this time tell me the truth. I have been in this position, with Kurt, when he was a kid. I know this isn't easy."
Blaine sighed and dropped his head. "I'm a mess. I mean I know it happens all the time, and all of this stuff is routine, done a million times before. But never before on my baby. She's my life. Seeing her lying there practically lifeless kills me." He choked out a sob that has been hiding in the back of his throat for hours.
Burt threw his arms around the shorter man and held him tightly. "I know sport, but it's going to be okay. She's a strong girl. You're an amazing dad Blaine and you are doing everything right. It's just a few days and she will be back to driving you crazy again."
Blaine held tightly on to the back of Burt's flannel shirt and sobbed into his chest, allowing all of his fears and frustrations to pour out in the fatherly embrace. Why couldn't his dad be like this? "I'm s-sorry."
"Why are you apologizing kid, you did nothing wrong. I would be worried if you weren't upset."
Blaine felt a little out of place holding on to his boyfriend's father like there was no tomorrow. Burt seemed to sense his somewhat discomfort and held him even tighter. "You know kid, you are a member of this family, like a son to me the same way Santana is my daughter. You can always come to me if you need anything."
Blaine took in a deep breath, hitched from the sob he was holding back. A non-familiar smell filled his nostrils as he did so. It smelled of cologne and oil, and so much like – home. A home that he never even knew existed until recently, a home that he never knew he missed until he experienced it, a home that welcomed him with open arms for nothing else than who he was.
As the two sunk into a double chair in the corner of the small room, Blaine still holding on like Burt was his only lifeline keeping him from sinking. This is what it's like to have a dad. It's not that Blaine didn't have a father, or a mother for that matter, because he did. He did not; however, have a dad. He didn't have someone to take him to baseball games, play football with in the yard, to read him a story at bedtime, to teach him to shave, give him the talk about girls – well boys, to just love him. His father was nothing like Burt Hummel. Burt Hummel, the man who had no qualms playing dress up and tea party with his son, a man who accepted his son from the age of three, the man who never judged his son, who taught him the ins and outs of cars while funding his love for fashion, the man who was offering his heart to him right now.
No, is father was not a dad by any means. It wasn't that his father didn't love him, because he did. It wasn't that his father didn't accept his sexuality, he couldn't have cared less; and that was the problem. His father didn't have children because he wanted them, he had them because he couldn't be bothered to use a condom. He never wanted children, never cared for them. He loved his boys, he just didn't know what to do with them. So, he hired a Nanny and he and their mother spent the majority of the year traveling for business.
His mother never really wanted children, she loved her boys, and she loves her granddaughter – sending her checks with a ridiculous amount of zeros every chance she got; but, she loved her husband more. She was raised to be subservient to her spouse. That her husband had to come before all else except for God. When he and Cooper were babies and toddlers she doted on the boys, the world's best mother, but as they reached school age, she drifted back, preferring to travel with their father.
Growing up Blaine wanted nothing more than to experience what he was feeling right in that very moment: understanding, acceptance, love. When Tony died his father didn't even hug him. He patted him on his shoulder and gave his condolences. His condolences, that was going to be his son in law, the father to his daughter, and all he had to say was "I'm sorry for your loss, if you need anything let me know." Which translates to, 'that fucking sucks, if you need money call my accountant.'
The man who was gently rubbing his back in an effort to calm him down has shown him more love in a month than the man who "raised" him. He felt his tear beginning to subside and his breathing even out; suddenly calmer than he had been all day. So this is the difference support makes. He thought to himself as he pulled back from Burt's grasp.
He smiled softly at the man, who mussed his hair in return. "You're a good kid ya' know. One day, I can see you as my son in law –" Blaine's face immediately flushed at the thought; because, well, marriage. The last time he thought about that it didn't end well. He pushed those thoughts out of his head quickly to listen to Burt continue to speak. "- but if you do or you don't marry my boy, I'll always consider you my son."
"Thanks Burt, you have n-no idea how m-much that means to me." He said, breath still broken.
"Now come on, let's get back to that little girl."
The next day Burt and Carole decided to stay at Blaine's house and Santana decided to go back to work so that she could take a few days off the next week to help when she was home, leaving Blaine and Kurt alone in the hospital room with Liliana.
"It was really amazing of your parents to come out here to support her." Blaine whispered, as he leaned back onto Kurt's chest, sitting in his lap in the reclining car next to their little girl's bed.
"Mmm, but you know they didn't just come here for her right?" Blaine seemed genuinely confused for a minute. Why else would they have come? Kurt just smiled and patted his butt, which just happened to be right where his hand was resting. "They came for you too, for all of us."
"Why?"
"Because Blaine, it's what families do. When someone needs support they offer it, and do what they can to help. They happen to be in the position to be able to be present and help."
Blaine curled his head into the crook of his boyfriend's neck, perfectly content and sighed. "I guess, I guess I'm just not used to it."
Kurt kissed the top of Blaine's head and smiled against his hair. "Well, baby, get used to it. You're a member of the family now, and we have way too much support to give out. Ya' know to the point where it gets smothering."
"I wouldn't want it any other way."
The couple fell into a content silence as they watched Liliana sleep. It was amazing the difference a day has made on the little girl. Her nebulizer treatments are working and she is down to only nasal oxygen supplement. He O2 saturation has risen to 89 percent with oxygen and has maintained. The antibiotics have been working and her temperature has broken. It still spikes every now and then, and each time it does the family feels their air knocked out of their lungs, that means that at least another day in the hospital.
When she is awake Liliana is much more vibrant, engages in conversation and is starting to become her normal bubbly self. The do; however, have to calm her down because she starts having coughing fits when she gets too worked up. The doctor told them at the rate she is progressing, they are hoping that she will be able to leave the hospital by Thursday. Wednesday, of course, being the deciding factor in that decision. God did they hope that it would be Thursday.
When Blaine's breathing shallowed and evened out, Kurt thought the older man fell asleep. He watched as the little girl began to stir.
"Hi Daddy." She said, slightly hoarse.
"Hi Button, how are you feeling?" Kurt replied softly, smiling and looking in her eyes.
"Better. I wanna go home. When can we go home?"
"In a few days sweetie, you have to get all better first."
"Oh." She sighed. "Daddy Kurt?"
"Yes sweetie?"
"Can you sing to me?"
"What would you like me to sing princess?" He asked the little girl who laid on her side, sleepy eyes trying to focus on the disheveled man in front of her.
"Phin-e-us and Ferb." Kurt chuckled and smiled.
"Of course." He sat and thought of the perfect Phineas and Ferb song. The thought that he knew them all even though he had only heard of the show a month ago scared him slightly.
"Bow chika bow wow, That's what my baby says!
Mow mow mow and my heart starts pumpin'
Chika chika chu whop
Never Gonna Stop Gitchi Gitchi Goo means That I Love You
My baby's got her own way of talking
Whenever she says something sweet
And she knows it's my world she's a-rockin'
Though my vocabulary's incomplete
And Though it may sound confusing
Sometimes I wish she'd give it to me straight
But I never feel like I'm Losing (losing)
When I take the time to translate
That's what I'm talking 'bout"
Blaine sat against his boyfriend just listening to his heart beating and the vibrations of his voice radiating through his veins. He melted into the feeling of Kurt's arms wrapped protectively around him and at the love that emanated though him. He sat against Kurt and just thought. He had not stopped thinking about what Burt said for the past twenty four hours.
Burt had brought up marriage. And yes, Blaine wanted to spend the rest of his live with Kurt, he knew after just a short time; but, the thought of marriage terrified him. He lost Tony and all he could think about was the unrelenting fear that he would lose Kurt too.
However, there was a moment to be had as he laid against his boyfriend's chest, listening to him sing a silly children's song for his sick daughter. He had a moment of realization and clarity. Just as not every father was like his own, not every relationship is destined to be like the one prior. Just because he lost Tony did not mean that he would lose Kurt too. What was meant to be will be and he finally realizes what that is.
A smile slipped across his face as he listened to his baby girl giggle and the silly song and the characture voices to the spoken portions of the song. He knew right in that moment that not only did he want to spend the rest of his life with Kurt, he wanted to make him his husband. They were a family by fate and by heart, and he wanted them to be a family by law.
Shit. I'm going to need a bigger place.
Nothing to do with the story - but my heart goes out to all those affected by the events in Boston today. It's completely unreal. If you have been affected by it, know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Until next time.
As always, thanks to my beautiful Brits.