Thank you everyone for all your reviews and support. This has been a lot of fun. I never thought I would write a fanfic, but I thoroughly enjoyed the ride. I tried to write this like an episode. I hope it came across that way. Heres hoping for early sneak peaks of season 11 and lots and lots of selfies!
They had ushered him to the gallery.
Jackson could see their lips moving but he didn't hear anything that was being said.
Mentally he was still back in the ambulance, caught in those two minutes. One hundred and twenty seconds when she ceased to exist.
Of all the horrors he faced today, that's what finally broke him.
Everyone who was not in the operating room were gathered in the gallery with him for support.
His demeanor scared them, just as much as the surgery going on below. It was his exterior calm that had them so worried.
Jackson looked down and saw that she was on her fourth unit of blood. Hunt, Weber and Pierce were working to repair the artery.
The baby was still with her and he didn't know how he felt about that. He almost resented it. Had they moved her in a more controlled method she wouldn't have loss so much blood from her already depleted body when they rushed to get her out. Feeling this way was tearing him up. He loved the baby with his whole heart. From the moment she told him she was pregnant. Hell, he was in love with the baby he thought they were going to have over a year ago.
His mother was sitting to his left, holding his hand in both of hers, there was a damp towel in his right.
He kinda remembered someone handing it to him to wipe off the dust. It might have been Arizona.
This is all so wrong he thought. "I can't be here", he quietly said to the room as he stood and dropped the towel in his empty seat.
He had to be with her. Jackson left the gallery and went to the only place that would be right. The place where he would feel her presence and cuddle in her warmth. Where he could clearly see her smiling face and dimpled cheeks. Be able to look into her shining eyes.
The hospital chapel.
She would be there.
He sat in the same pew that they had many weeks ago. He could feel her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest just like the day they embraced after deciding they would raise their baby with her faith. He could clearly hear her beautiful, infectious giggle after telling him she accepted his ransom for waffles. April was his world.
Jackson didn't know how long he had sat there remembering everything from their first day at Mercy West to the moment he kissed her goodbye just four hours ago. He heard someone enter and braced himself.
Matthew had come to the chapel to offer a prayer before he and Katy left. He didn't expect to see Jackson there.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt", Matthew said softly.
"Nah, it's OK," Jackson responded. "Thank you again for everything you and Lt. Green did for us today.
It's not exactly how I pictured us meeting up again," Jackson revealed turning his head back to face the altar.
"Yeah, you can sure say that again," Matthew replied staring in the same direction.
A few moments of comfortable silence pasted.
"You know, I had a friend once who told me that if you love someone you tell them," Jackson said solemnly still facing forward. "I was scared to tell April. I didn't think she felt the same way," he confessed knowing Matthew deserved an answer for the way things happened.
"But then the storm happened and things were said...," Jackson closed his eyes and shook his head. "Anyway, I had pushed her away. That day, your wedding, I stopped pushing. It was the first time I was ever honest with her about how I felt."
Matthew nodded in understanding.
"The reason I am saying this is because we hurt you, and I wanted to apologize to you for that."
This time it was Matthew who extended his hand.
Oooo
April opened her eyes slowly.
The room was dark except for a lamp in the corner.
Her hand was resting on her baby bump with her fingers entwined with Jackson's.
"Thank you God," she whispered.
Jackson was asleep with his head resting on the side of the bed facing her.
April smiled at his handsome face.
"Hey you," she said giving his hand a squeeze.
Jackson's eyes shot open. She was the most beautiful thing he ever saw. His awake wife, within reach.
He stood and covered her lips with his.
Everything that was so powerful and indescribable about how they felt for each other was in the kiss they shared.
He rested his forehead on hers and just looked into her eyes.
Words were too insignificant to explain how they were feeling.
They needed to touch each other and feel the others breath.
"You may not be a goat, but I am definitely going to be a dad."
"Our baby will be fine".