Chapter 39
It took us a little while to gather the dead, even though the numbers were not large. Thorin made it very clear that he wouldn't leave any of his people here. He had forced me to get on a horse and wait, since my body was still trying to recover from the fight. Surprisingly, it was Thranduil who stood guard on his stag with me. He said nothing, but the presence was quiet, and provided comfort.
"He knows you are not made for this," the elf lord said suddenly. "Give yourself some time to recover, My Lady."
I glanced at him when he dipped his head slightly in respect. "Thank you," I murmured quietly.
He said nothing after that, and after a few hours, we were moving out. Everyone was pretty clear that they wanted to get away from here as quickly as possible. It didn't take us more than a day of riding, because soon, we came upon the second group that had been sent out to help with the aftermath. I relaxed dramatically when I saw that everyone was going to be taken care of. Thorin said nothing to me during the two whole days of riding, knowing that I needed the silence. At that point, my body was in agony and I was so exhausted that I wasn't sure how I was still awake.
After a quick agreement between the two elf lords and Thorin, they stopped everyone and decided to make camp near the Anduin river, right outside the woods. Those who needed immediate attention were taken directly back to Erebor. All those who were well enough to keep going, left us as well. Even after that, we still had more than enough to defend ourselves. I slid off the horse, and took his tack off before letting him graze nearby.
"Stick close," I sighed, patting the gelding gently.
Dwalin came over to fetch me, and led me over to the fire that had been started. I followed him, aware that Thorin was finally off having his wounds looked at. Fili and Kili stuck close to my side as I sat staring at the fire, and Fili reached out to touch my shoulder. It drew me from my thoughts, so I lifted my gaze from the flames and looked at him. He looked like he was in pain, so I arched my brow and took in a silent breath.
"Are you all right?" he asked in concern.
"I'll be fine," I assured him quietly. "After you go and get yourself looked at."
He flinched when my voice went dark, and the movement had him sucking in a painful breath. I rose to my feet, and pulled him with me. I wasn't about to let him stay here when he had wounds that needed tending. He followed me quietly until I found the healers tent. When I walked in, I paused in surprise when I saw who was there.
"My Lord," I blinked.
Bard turned his head quietly, and then gave a slight smile as Sigrid also walked over. "I could not sit and do nothing. Bain is tending to Dale, and Lady Dis, and Lord Balin are seeing to Erebor. We brought all we could."
"I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say thank you," I nodded, then gestured to Fili. "His ribs are broken, and need tending."
Sigrid nodded her head politely, and gestured to the Prince to follow her. He glanced at me suddenly, and I saw the worry in his eyes. I gave him a gentle look, and gave his cheek a kiss.
"If you don't tend to yourself, you're going to cause me even more pain," I muttered. "I'll be fine."
"All right," he sighed, obviously defeated.
I watched Sigrid lead him off, and looked at Bard when he walked over to me. He handed me a cup of water, which I gratefully took. He sighed quietly, listening to the groans throughout the large tent.
"King Thorin's tent has been set up, the company has moved to go guard it. Would you like me to take you there?" He asked, gently.
"Thank you," I nodded.
Bard bobbed his head, and offered his arm to help lead me through the camp. Thorin's tent was set up off to the side, giving it some privacy. When we approached, Dwalin and Kili both rose to their feet to come and see me. The others rose as well, only to bow in greeting to the both of us. Bard passed me over to Dwalin when the warrior got close enough.
"Prince Fili is being tended to," Bard informed Dwalin. "He has a few broken ribs, and other wounds that need looking after."
Kili's expression dropped instantly. "Will you take me to him?"
"Of course," he nodded. "Good night, my lady and lords."
I watched them walk away, and jumped when Dwalin patted my hand. "Come, let's get you inside to Thorin."
Dwalin pulled back the flap of the tent after announcing his arrival. Thorin was in one of his robes, all of his armor gone. He looked exhausted, but when he turned to see us, I watched his face melt. He nodded to Dwalin in thanks, before we were left alone. I was glad to smell that he had been looked at and cleaned up. Without a word, he gestured for me to come over, so I listened. He helped me slowly take off the bloody clothes and sighed quietly.
"You have wounds that are not healing," he murmured.
"I'm a bit...low on energy," I murmured.
Turning, Thorin grabbed my robe after I pulled on a soft dress to sleep in. I had to hand it to them, at least we weren't sleeping on the ground tonight. I listened as Thorin grabbed a few things and when I looked, I saw he had hot water and a cloth. I arched my brow at him when he glanced at the chair in front of a small fire. Everything in me wanted to ignore it, and for a moment I almost growled.
"Come on," he rumbled.
"Ugh," I grunted, and went to sit down.
"Hush," he ordered, as he squeezed water from the cloth.
He cleaned the blood from my face, and I flinched in pain from several of the shallow cuts that were not healing. Many of my wounds had slowly begun to heal, but the small ones were left for last.
"Easy," Thorin soothed, as I flinched when he found a gash behind my ear. "I've never seen it take so long for you to heal...I'm so sorry. This was not a life I wished for you."
"Makes me almost feel normal," I muttered, when he moved to clean my hands. I looked at him sharply then at his last sentence. "All I want to do is go home. Don't ever feel bad about the life you've given me. I'd take it again, and again."
"We'll be there soon," he replied gently, and then sighed.
"Thank you," I whispered.
"That was the most cooperative you've been," he teased softly.
I gave him a flat look, and snorted quietly at him. He still smiled, and looked up at movement at the entrance of the tent. He ushered Dwalin in, who appeared to be holding two plates of food. I wasn't used to the warrior being so kind and caring, but I could tell that he saw something that he had not liked. He set the bowls down on the table to the side and bowed to the both of us before leaving us in peace.
"He's worried," Thorin murmured softly.
I forced myself to eat what he had given me, and I felt as my stomach slowly settled and the food warmed me a little. We ate in silence, and when he were finished, he drew me to the bed that was provided. I followed him, and made sure not to lean on his bad shoulder. I wanted nothing more than to be home, and suddenly I felt a lump in my throat form. It made my breath hitch, and I closed my eyes tightly. Thorin's arm came around me, and he held me fiercely to him.
"Shh," he soothed quietly. "Not yet love. You must hang in there. Sleep tonight, and heal. We will watch over you."
He soothed me to sleep that night, trying hard to keep me calm. I was so tired by then, that I didn't fight him, or the sleep that begged to take me.
I woke early in the morning with the others, so that we could break everything down and get moving. The sleep I had taken the night before had not been enough. Thorin ordered me to go on one of the wagons, so that I could rest some more. Kili joined me, giving the both of us some comfort and I fell asleep again, unable to resist it. When I woke several hours later, I was leaning against him.
"Oh good you are ok," he said, patting my knee. "Seems sleep did you good, your wounds are healed."
"I feel much better," I sighed, laying my head against the wood. "Where is Thorin?"
"Riding behind with Lord Elrond, and King Thranduil," Kili replied, nodding his head in their direction. "We're almost home. Much easier with the wagons I suppose."
"I can imagine," I agreed, and tested my body on how it felt.
It was a relief when I felt no scabbed over wounds and I was only a little sore. Keeping myself in the present, I tried not to think of the battle that had taken place several days ago and looked up when I heard a horse cantering over to the wagon. Thorin rode up beside the wagon when he had noticed I was awake and his expression eased.
"Good as new," I sighed. "Body wise, anyway."
"Good," he rumbled, and reached out for me.
"And you?" I asked quietly.
He gave me a look that had me pursing my lips, but he shook his head. "The wound heals quickly. It was a clean stab, nothing major was clipped."
Getting to my feet, I jumped over to him, and landed gently in front of him on the saddle and leaned back against his chest as he rode. I stroked the mane of the horse he rode, and looked up at the sky for a few minutes. Thorin threw his reins into one hand so that he could wrap his arm around me, and he pressed his forehead into my shoulder.
"How are you feeling then?" I asked.
"Better," he rumbled. "I am ready to be home."
"I'm sure we all are," I sighed, and reached back to touch his cheek.
Lord Elrond rode up next to us and so I looked over at him when he slowed his horse down. "We've dealt a major blow to our enemy," he said quietly. "I see many good years ahead of us."
"About time," I said sourly. "I'm really tired of evil always having the upper hand."
"Well it's not that way anymore," he smiled.
He didn't say anymore to me, but he reached out and took my hand to give it a tight squeeze. The elf didn't have to say anything to me; I knew what was going through his head. It was still going through mine as well. I stayed firmly in Thorin's hold as we rode forward and laid my head back against his shoulder. We didn't make camp again after that, eager to get home.
We arrived home after sundown, and saw to our people as the elves continued their journey back to their homes. Lord Elrond stayed behind for a bit to make sure we were all right, and Thorin saw him off after he tended to his people. I stood silently as his horse cantered off, and felt my shoulders drop. The waterfall roared in the distance, but I couldn't see it. The sound itself was a relief to hear. Thorin walked back over, drawing my gaze from the moon and he sighed tiredly.
"Let's go take a bath," he sighed, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "I'm ready to get in to a fresh pair of clothes."
"Me too," I agreed, as he led us inside.
We headed up to our room where we had a bath ready, and I helped him wash the blood out of his hair. He did the same for me when I had finished with him. When we were finished, I threw on my night dress and wrapped up in a blanket. Walking outside, I looked over the moon, and over the dark valley below. Now that I wasn't busy, I felt my breath leave my lungs with a harsh noise. Clinging to the blanket for a moment, I closed my eyes tightly, suddenly dreading going to sleep.
Thorin came up beside me, and wrapped an arm around my waist, providing comfort. "Come," he said gently. "Come to bed."
Nodding quietly, I followed him, and laid the blanket over the chair before climbing in to bed with him. Thorin pulled me against him quietly, and gave me a firm kiss on the lips before settling for the night. I let my fingers run across his beard and through his long black hair for a while, until I realized I had soothed him in to a peaceful sleep. My eyes softened slightly when I drew my hand back from him.
I found that I couldn't sleep, and closing my eyes to try only threw me into thoughts that had tears coming to my eyes. I couldn't break down now. The man Thorin had killed had not been my brother, but a shell of him. I laid there for hours, watching Thorin sleep before I couldn't stand it anymore. I got out of bed without waking him and pulled on a thick warm robe and slipped into a soft pair of slippers.
Leaving the room silently, I walked down the halls and checked on the wounded to occupy myself. Dwalin was keeping watch over them, and he arched his brow at me when he saw me walking out of the room a while later.
"My Lady, you should be in bed," he stated obviously.
I looked at him with an irritated expression. "I know that, but...I can't," I replied. "So I figured I'd check on the wounded."
"They will be fine, you have my word," he said gently.
"I know," I nodded to him, after I glanced back at the dwarves sleeping. "I just...need to keep doing things."
"Something weighs on your mind?" he asked, as he stood crossing his arms.
"Of course it does," I murmured. "And it's haunting my sleep. I fear closing my eyes will only bring it all back."
Dwalin looked at me gently for a few moments before looking ahead of him. "And the King?"
"Asleep. I wish for him to remain that way," I replied flatly. "I do not need to disrupt his sleep for this."
"Arina," Dwalin said, looking at me with a slight bow for saying my name. "If watching someone you once held so dear get killed in front of your eyes bothers you, then you have every right to wake up Thorin. He isn't just our King, but your husband."
"I don't need him loosing sleep over this," I whispered. "I'll be fine, Dwalin. I just need a while to get myself back under control."
He gave me a narrowed look, so I drew myself to stand up straight and shook my head. Dwalin sighed softly, and ignored it as I walked off to go through the halls. I spent a while walking through the golden hall before I slowly made my way back up to our room. As I got to the door, I paused when I heard the plucking of harp strings.
Standing right outside of the door, I laid my head against the stone wall as I listened to him play the soft tune. It was soothing, and almost had me not wanting to interrupt him, but I knew he was awake because I wasn't there. Pushing the door open quietly, I shut it softly behind me so I didn't stop him. Thorin tilted his head to acknowledge that I had come in, but he didn't stop playing. Going to the bed after I took off my robe, I sat at the end closest to him and listened to the harp and to him. He played for a little while longer, his rough hands moving easily over the delicate strings. He was humming softly along with what he was playing, his deep baritone voice going well with the tune. When he finished about fifteen minutes later, Thorin turned to look at me as I sat there.
"Always beautiful," I sighed softly.
"It seems to help you relax," he said gently, as he rose to his feet to come to me. "Now tell me, why I did I wake to find my queen not in bed with me?"
I lowered my gaze to his chest when he came over, but he lifted my chin with gentle hands and smoothed his thumbs across my cheeks. I felt the tears come to my eyes and suddenly spill over before I could help it.
"I couldn't save him," I whispered, my heart aching. "I didn't know he was alive, Thorin. I could have saved him...I failed him..."
"You didn't fail him, Arina," Thorin replied firmly, looking at me. "You had no idea, and that isn't your fault. He was gone long before you escaped, remember? You didn't fail in anything. You just didn't know."
I grabbed his wrists and tried hard not to let the sob escape my lips as he finished speaking. Thorin pulled me to him, so I wrapped my arms around his neck as he held me. His fingers feathered over my back in soothing circles as I cried, and he managed to somehow grab a handkerchief for me. Thorin picked me up and got into bed, cradling me against him as the tears continued to fall. When I was done, I was exhausted and had no tears left to cry. He hummed a soft tune after I cleaned my face and let his fingers drift through my hair and then down my back again.
"Sleep," he whispered, and continued to hum his tune.
Closing my eyes when his fingers feathered over them, I found I couldn't open them again and fell asleep curled against him after he had laid down fully.
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