A/N: Felt a sudden late night craving for some fluff. And I've been re-reading "Room" after seeing the movie (highly recommend, fucking emotional sideswipe and Oscar ready performances), so I felt tempted to try some 5 year old boy POV, so we start out with Max. But no worries, we're back to Alex and Piper's adult perspective by the end.

This should be obvious, but this takes place sometime after the first oneshot in this collection ("Package Deal") and before the last section of the second one ("Wild").

White Knight

Some very important things about Max Chapman:

He's five years old now, actually five and a quarter, because his birthday was almost three months ago and three months is a quarter of the year, that means one part out of four, and a year is twelve months.

He goes to real school now, just like his friend Finn, except Max is still just in kindergarten, which means he can't check books out of the school library yet but he can take home the ones from the classroom. His classroom has a tiny treehouse, except it's inside and the tree is just cardboard, but it's still the highest part of the classroom and there are pillows in there. Most of his friends like the Building Center best, but Max likes Reading Center because it's when he gets to go up to the treehouse.

His middle name is Alexander. He learned to write it the first week of kindergarten, even though most of the other kids only did their first and maybe their last names. He likes it a lot because it's like a longer fancier version of Alex's name.

Alex is his best friend. She's also Mommy's girlfriend, but he thinks best friend is more important, probably, even though she doesn't sleep in his room except once when he was scared and once when she fell asleep after reading. She used to live in prison, and he went to see her all the time even when he was a baby, but now she lives with Max and his mom for forever, and promises she doesn't ever have to go back.

Usually, Mommy takes him to school and Alex picks him up, except one time on a Friday Alex has to work during the day, which she usually never has to do, so Max takes a note to school saying he has to ride home with Finn.

He's been friends with Finn forever, which is extra cool cause Finn is two years older. He's funny and nice, even though he does treat Max like a baby sometimes, but they're used to playing together a lot because their moms work together. They make soap, which Alex says is like a fight club. She always says it in her joking voice, and Mommy never laughs but Max does because the idea of his mom fighting anyone is hilarious. She wouldn't ever.

So he sits with Finn on the car lot, but he doesn't talk much to Max until two of his second grade friends are gone. It's stupid, but Finn's like that sometimes. He's being super nice again by the time Miss Polly, his mom, pulls up in her blue van to pick them up. Max always loves riding in Finn's car because it's got an actual TV in the back so they get to watch DVDs, usually Spongebob but sometimes Hulk.

Alex usually takes him straight home after school - except for sometimes when they stop for milkshakes as long as it's just their secret - but Miss Polly always takes Finn to her and Mommy's office, so today Max has to go there, too. After his mom hugs him hello, she promises they'll only be an hour, that they're waiting on a conference call and then they'll be done.

He and Finn get to sit in Miss Polly's office while they're on the phone next door, both of them sprawled on their stomachs on the carpet and hunch over a handheld video game, taking turns and exclaiming at the screen while Finn tells Max all about a new game he got on the TV at home that Max should totally come play soon.

When Mommy and Miss Polly come to say it's time to go, Finn looks at his mom and asks, "Can Max sleepover?"

Max looks up, eagerly echoing, "Yeah, Mommy, can I?"

He and Finn used to spend the night at each other's houses all the time, but they haven't really in a long time, not since Alex started living with him.

"He's welcome, either night this weekend," Miss Polly says. "In fact..." For some reason she stops for awhile before figuring out what else she was going to say. "It's been too long since we all did dinner. You should come over."

Mommy looks surprised. And a little like she does when she's trying to bust Max for lying (which she can always tell - it's like a superpower). "All of us?"

"Yeah, why not? Can't avoid it forever. Tomorrow night?"

"I don't know, I'll have to check - "

"C'mon, Pipes, surely we're past all that after this many years."

Max doesn't know what they passed or how many years is this many, but Finn isn't being patient. "Mom, can he?" Miss Polly answers him, but she's still looking at Max's mom. "Tomorrow?"

"Mommy, please."

She does a big sigh. "Yeah, okay. I'll ask Alex, but...we'll plan for tomorrow. And you might want to double check with Larry, too."

"Oh, he'll be fine. He should have no problem anymore, and if he does he and I will be the ones with the problem."

That night, after bath and story and bedtime, Max can't sleep right away. He always thinks he should be allowed to stay up later on the weekends, but his bedtime is barely different. He kinda wishes he could have slept over at Finn's tonight instead of having to wait until tomorrow. He really wanted to try that video game.

Max gets to use his mom's iPad mini for games, there's hardly anything else on it, and even though he's not supposed to take it in his room, he knows it's just sitting out there in the living room like it always is. Mommy won't even notice.

He cracks open his bedroom door and listens. They're not in the living room, and he goes extra slow down the hallway until he can see for sure that the only light that's on is in the kitchen.

When he gets on the living room he gets down on his knees and crawls like a secret agent: he can hear Mommy and Alex talking from the kitchen and they don't know he's listening. He's the world's best spy.

"...already know I think it's weird, Pipes. But I'd even think working with her would be weird."

"She wanted to start the business back up, and I wasn't exactly in a position where I could wait for better options. And the way it's gone, it's lucky I didn't."

"I'm just saying. You won't see me wanting us to have playdates with my exes."

"Uh, yeah, because your exes are crazy women who defecate in bags." Max frowns at the unfamiliar word, trying it out in a tiny voice made all of breath: de-fe-cate.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic, that was totally dog shit." Max presses his hands over his mouth, catching a giggle. Alex forgets about bad words sometimes, but for some reason Mommy doesn't fuss at her about it.

"Either way, she set a fire. What would someone like that do at a playdate? Probably child abuse."

"Well don't speak too soon, we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. There's a very real chance Larry might actually stab me as soon as we walk in the door."

Stab her? Like really for real?

"True."

Larry is Finn's dad - he has another one, too, but he lives not in the same apartment - and he'll be there tomorrow when they go over to play. Max didn't even know Finn and his parents knew Alex, and he definitely didn't know Finn's dad was a bad guy.

Maybe he was in prison with Alex sometime and that's why he wants to stab her.

Max's stomach is all fluttery and sick, but the lights in the kitchen are going off so that means they're coming, and he has to run back to his bedroom but he's so scared about the stabbing that he forgets to even bring the iPad with him.

He can't sleep for a long, long time, he doesn't want to go to Finn's house anymore, maybe if he came over here his dad won't come, except Miss Polly said all of us when she was talking to Mommy.

Maybe if he says he has a stomachache tomorrow they won't have to go. That usually doesn't work when he tries it on school days, but school is more importanter than going to play at Finn's, even when the grown ups are all coming too.

But just in case...

Max has a sword. It's rainbow colors, and it's like a trick: it looks like it's really short and just yellow, but there are all the other pieces inside, all secret. When he swipes it hard enough, the rest of it comes out and SURPRISE! the sword is super big.

Uncle Cal got it for him when they went to the fair one time, back when Max was four. Mommy didn't like it at all, and he only got to keep it if he promised not to ever hit actual people.

But it probably doesn't count if there's a real bad guy doing a real bad guy thing. Especially to Alex.

"C'mon, we gotta go, Max get your jacket...Al, can you grab the cake?"

Alex does a big groan and an eyeroll, she so doesn't want to go either, and Max doesn't get it because his mom isn't even acting like she notices, she just hands him a coat and makes a face at the sword. "Max, why on earth do you have that thing?"

"I wanna show Finn," he lies, and then he says, "But actually I don't really actually want to go anymore."

"See?" Alex says. "Max Monster gets it."

But Mommy's being mean, like she doesn't even care that both of them don't want to, just gives them both crazy looks before her eyes stop on Max. "Why don't you want to go?"

He can't say the reason because he can't say he wasn't in bed last night. He just lifts his shoulders up and then down. "I don't feel good."

She checks his forehead for warm, squinting at him with the superpower that can usually tell when he's lying. "You don't have a fever..." She looks back at Alex, with her eyebrows high up. "Did you do this?"

Alex holds up her hands. "Swear I didn't."

"I don't want to," he says, almost crying a tiny bit but he can't help it.

"Max..." Mommy touches his hair, and now she sounds all soft and sorry. "What is it, baby? You love playing at Finn's, you were so excited yesterday."

"I just don't want to. Alex doesn't either."

"You see?" Mommy's voice isn't nice anymore, but she's talking to Alex, not Max.

Alex does a big sigh then takes his hand, the one not holding the sword. "C'mon, buddy, we can do this. I'll like it better if you're there, promise."

He nods but looks mean at Mommy, and he doesn't talk to her the whole ride to Finn's house, because she knows about the stabbing and she's still making Alex go.

He makes sure the sword is in his hand when they walk up to the house. Mommy rings the doorbell and Alex turns around and makes a face at him, her eyes crossed and her nose all scrunchy but he doesn't laugh.

Miss Polly opens the door, and Larry isn't there but Max holds onto the sword anyway. The grown ups are all saying hi and talking about food and using fake voices, like the ones they use to answer the phone. Miss Polly smiles at him for real, though, and says, "Max, buddy, Finn's in the playroom, he can't wait to see you."

Mommy pats him on the back. "You wanna go play?"

He shakes his head hard, and Mommy keeps talking over his head.

"He's being a grump for some reason, sure he'll snap out of -"

"Hi."

Mommy stops talking and they all look over. Larry's walking down the hallway, and he's only looking at Max for some reason. "Hey there, Max-o! Good to see ya again, buddy." Max regards him suspiciously, leaning back against Alex's legs.

"Hey Pipes."

"Hey."

Then, after a bit of waiting, he says, "Alex."

Alex answers, not all the way nice, "Great to see you again."

Miss Polly looks at Larry. "Again?"

"Long story."

"Not a great story," Mommy tells her.

There's more quiet, and then Miss Polly says, "C'mon, let's take this in the kitchen - "

Larry adds, "I was just finishing up the lasagna..."

They start walking to the kitchen, and Max keeps pressed against Alex even when he hears Finn yell his name. Both his mom and Miss Polly look down at him.

"Go on, Max, Finn's waiting for you."

"Huh-uh."

"Say something," Mommy hisses to Alex.

"I'm not gonna make him."

"Is he okay?" Larry asks.

"He's fine."

"Liking school this year, Max?" Larry smiles when he asks, but Max just shoots him a mean face.

"Max, Larry asked you a question."

He looks away, doesn't answer. They're in the kitchen now, and Miss Polly takes the food from Mommy and Alex to stack on the counter. When her back is turned, Larry picks up a knife from the kitchen counter and turns to look at Alex. He's about to say something, but Max doesn't let him.

"NO." He lets out a huge roar, he is Max Monster he is brave and strong, swinging his secret weapon sword right at Larry's face.

"Jesus Christ!"

"MAX!"

"Oh my God!"

He gets one more hit in, just on the shoulder, before Mommy picks him up, pinning both him arms to his side so tight he drops the sword. She's right by his ear but she's yelling anyway. "What are you thinking?!"

"He's gonna stab Alex!" Max howls, kicking and squirming so she'll put him down, because he dropped the sword but Larry didn't drop the knife.

"What?" He can't even tell who all said it. Maybe everyone.

He looks at Alex. "You said he was gonna stab you whenever we walked in the door."

Alex bursts out laughing at the same time Larry looks at her and says, "Real nice," all mean sounding except he's holding his nose so it comes out all funny.

"Oh, Max..." Mommy kinda sounds like she's trying not to laugh, too, and Max doesn't get why this is funny, but she's not holding him so tight anymore.

Alex bends down to look at him, still trying not to laugh. "I'm really sorry, Monster, I was just making a joke. I didn't know you could hear me."

"He was supposed to be in bed," his mom says while she sets him down all the way, but she's still got her arms around him.

"Max, are you coming or what?" Finn slides into the doorway of the kitchen, then immediately frowns. "Dad? What happened?"

"Just an accident, babe," Miss Polly says quickly. "He's fine. You and Max go play."

Max looks at Alex, not sure about going. She messes up his hair, then leans close to whisper. "It's fine, buddy. I promise."

He tilts his head back to look at his mom, for the first time worrying he might get in trouble. She gives him a serious look. "Leave the sword. And apologize to Larry."

He checks with Alex, and she gives him a tiny nod.

"Sorry, Larry," he rushes out, looking at the ground, then turns and catches up with Finn.

As they walk out, he hears Alex say in a loud, much happier voice, "Can't believe we were worried this would be awkward."

After dinner and dessert, when Finn and Max are zoned out in front of the TV, Larry and Polly vehemently wave away all offers for Piper and Alex to help clean up. Polly pours them each a glass of wine and insistently sends them to the screened porch, saying they'll join them soon.

As soon as the door to the house closes behind them, Piper meets Alex's eye and they both, at the same instant, crack the hell up.

"Right in the face!" Alex says gleefully, and Piper swats her on the shoulder, trying to reign in her own laughter.

"Ssh, ssh, the kitchen window's right there..." She tugs Alex down onto the porch swing.

"He brought a fucking sword!"

"He thought Larry was literally going to stab you!"

"God, I love that kid." Alex smirks, finally calming down enough to sip her wine. "You know, I've never had a guy swoop to my defense. Wouldn't have thought I'd like it."

"Y'know, this is totally what you get for giving our kid the nickname Monster."

The unthinking comment catches in the air between them, changing the atmosphere instantly. Their eyes connect, and Piper waits, anxiety suddenly trembling in her stomach until Alex just arches an eyebrow at her, her voice suddenly quiet. "Our kid?"

And, fuck it, it needs to be said. She hadn't meant to do it now, tonight, and especially not here, but all at once she's sick of never saying it. "Yeah. Our kid. You know it feels like it. You've been living with us for almost a year, and we've already established no one's going anywhere. Honestly, Alex, I don't know what we're waiting for."

Alex looks up, just for a second, the way she does when she needs to gather herself, and in spite of the fact that they've been through this, that they've pushed through the fears and anxieties, Piper can't help but feel that all-of-a-sudden scared, like Alex may be about to drop a bomb, some fresh and unexpected reason that this isn't going to work out.

But then, looking at Piper again, she says, "He still calls me his best friend."

"Uh, I know he does. It's adorable."

"It is, but...that's the thing, Pipes, I'm good at that. Goofing off and making him laugh, making up stories. I'm good at being his friend, but that doesn't mean...I don't know if he's gonna think of me as his mom."

"Alex." Piper's whole voice gentles, and she can't help but smile at Alex, because it's a huge relief but also because there's something oddly sweet about seeing Alex nervous. Needlessly nervous. "Is that really the only problem?"

Alex scowls at her. "Well not if you're going to laugh at me about it."

"Babe..." Piper grins at her, threading their fingers together between them on the swing. "He calls you his best friend because that's the most important thing he knows to say. It means you're...his favorite. Kids, even a kid like Max who knows he's adopted, and that love's all you need to make a family, even with all that...he's not going to think he gets to choose a parent. He knows I chose him, not the other way around. His best friend? That's the most important choice a kid has the power to make. But if he knew you could be his mom, too...if you wanted to be...Alex, he loves you, he's already there."

Bright eyed, Alex gives her this gorgeous, grateful smile, and she leans into Piper a little, the swing gently swaying with the movement. Piper twists a strand of Alex's hair around her finger for a moment, then grins. "Besides, he's clearly already inheriting your criminal tendencies anyway..."

"Um, hate to be a stickler, but even though I have a more impressive criminal record -"

"Oh, yeah, impressive."

"- you're the one with a history of assault. That's all you. Screwdriver, plastic sword..."

"God, I should never have let him keep that thing." Piper catches movement out of the corner of her eye, in the window. "Shit, ssh, they're coming."

"Fantastic," Alex snarks under her breath. "Another hour of pretending not to stare at Larry's nose."

Laughter bubbles up and out of Piper's throat, and she has to press her lips against Alex's shoulder to stop just before Polly and Larry join them outside.

A/N:Thanks for reading. Know it was a kind of departure, but Little Earthquakes will be updated and wrapped up very soon. This was just a super quick, un-proofread whim, the first time I've felt compelled to do fluff since season three.