The Past, The Present, and Perhaps a Future
Chapter Eight: I Always Miss Something
Flashback/Texts/Thoughts

Sherlock awoke with a start, disoriented he kept absolutely silent as he took in his surroundings before relaxing once more. It only took him a moment to realize that the warm weight snuggled up alongside him was Talis.

He vaguely remembered Talis falling asleep as he played the violin. She had pulled him to her and refused to let go when he tried to spread her out on the couch in a more comfortable position. He didn't even bother fighting her, (he was after all on his fourth day without sleep) and had simply sidled up against her, chuckling softly as she buried herself deeper into his arms. Judging by the hue of the sky outside, the sun was just about to rise, which meant he had slept for a nearly 6 hours.

They had spent the remainder of yesterday looking for houses for her to rent, as well as discussing how they would divide Nick's time between the two of them. They had gone to dinner at Angelo's and Talis had been regaled with the story of how Sherlock had saved the proprietor from a murder charge, as well as various other shenanigans the detective had managed to rope the elderly man in on.

They had retired back to Baker street, where Mrs. Hudson had fawned over Talis like a long lost daughter who'd finally come home.

"I just knew it was you I saw here yesterday!" Mrs. Hudson wrapped Talis in a bear hug, much tighter than Talis would have expected for a woman her age.

"I am sorry Mrs. H for running out so abruptly, but as you can imagine, our reunion was a bit overwhelming." Talis apologized, giving the elderly woman a dazzling smile.

"Nothing to forgive love!" she smiled at the woman she thought of as a daughter, "You've been gone for so long dearie," she kept hold of Talis' hand, as if afraid Talis would disappear again, "Where on earth have you been?"

Sherlock gave the two women a moment to themselves while he busied himself in the kitchen; coffee for him, decaf for Talis, and a soothing tea for Mrs. Hudson.

"It's a long, god awful story Mrs. H," Talis squeezed her hand gently, "and I won't bore you with the details, but know that I am back in London now, for good."

Mrs. Hudson clapped her hands together in delight, "Oh good!" she smiled brightly, "It's been ever so different here without you, less lively."

"Well, you won't have to worry about that any more Mrs. H, because I haven't returned to London alone." Talis looked to Sherlock who nodded as he set the tray with their beverages and their preferred condiments.

Mrs. Hudson looked back and forth between the two, wondering what on earth their silent communication meant.

"I have a-" Talis shook her head, as she gave Sherlock a look that clearly said, 'sorry force of habit' before starting again, "We have a son." She pulled her tablet from her handbag and showed Mrs. Hudson the photo album of Nikolai, "Which makes you, a grandmum."

Sherlock had never seen joy on the elderly landlady's face as he witnessed now.

"A son!" she marveled tears of joy in her eyes, "Why, he looks just like Sherlock did at that age!" she traced a finger down the face of her 'grandson' admiring the similarities between him and his father. "and I'm willing to bet he's every bit mischievous as Sherlock was too!"

"Well, he didn't have a pirate phase, like someone we know did," Talis laughed as Sherlock grumbled good-naturedly at her teasing, "But he is in quite the Indiana Jones phase these days. Convinced he's going to go to Oxford and study archaeology." She flipped Mrs. Hudson to a photo of Nick dressed up as the intrepid professor for Halloween, "He's had his fair share of misadventures, but for the most part, he's a good boy, a really really good boy."

"I should imagine so, with a mother like you." Sherlock's voice was soft and endearing; the gentleness of the tone was something Mrs. Hudson hadn't heard for a very long time.

Taking the offered tea, Mrs. Hudson smiled at Sherlock as he sat down beside Talis, the two completely at ease in one another's presence. "Sherlock, do you happen to have any biscuits laying about?" she delicately sipped the peppermint tea.

The detective didn't miss a beat, "I'm your tenant Mrs. Hudson, not your manservant."

Talis and Mrs. Hudson stared wide-eyed at the man who simply sipped his coffee, a smug smile on his lips; the mug hiding the full on grin as the women burst into laughter.

The memory made him smile as looked down at Talis, who apparently still slept like the dead, he chuckled softly, some things never changed. Reaching for the tablet that had fallen on the floor he booted it up and scrolled through the album of his son.

He smiled softly as he stared at the on-screen mini-me staring back at him. There was no mistaking Nikolai for anyone other than his son. And while the newest Holmes heir was a near perfect copy of his father, Sherlock could tell just from the photos that Nikolai was thankfully like his mother.

Even in the photos it was blatantly clear (to Sherlock anyway) that Nikolai Jordan (Holmes) was a happy child. There was no doubt in Sherlock's mind that Nick was smart for his age, but the fact that he had inherited his mother's goodness filled the world's only consulting detective with a fatherly pride, knowing that their son, his son, would not be ostracized as he had when he was a boy.

Finished with that album, he looked through all the photos, finding a few of Talis that had been taken over the years since she had been gone. There weren't many, but the precious few gave him a glimpse into what her life must have been like, he knew being a single parent wasn't easy on anybody, much less being one with no support system at all.

He frowned at the thought of her doing everything alone. It wasn't fair. Life was never fair, but it seemed to take pleasure in making it extra hard for Talis. Looking down at her while she slept he cursed himself for not trying harder to find her, for so easily accepting her death the first time around, for dismissing her and the place she held in his life so quickly.

When he learned of her death, when all of his research confirmed that she was in fact dead, he'd locked her and every memory of her and their time together in the furthest dungeon of his mind palace.

He had meant to delete her, but found he couldn't. So he just kept her there, imprisoned in his mind, very nearly forgotten until his run in with Irene Adler.

Talis had been correct in her earlier deduction that their similarities had been what drew him to the dominatrix to begin with. The Woman had been nearly as intelligent as Talis, almost as crafty as well. Irene had assumed that it was her nakedness that threw him off when they first met, however she was wrong. For the briefest of moments, when she entered, dark hair and soft skin bared, his mind betrayed him, making him hallucinate Talis.

The Woman had mistaken the pause and he felt no need to correct her.

It hadn't taken him long to realize that while the two women shared many qualities, The Woman was but a shadow of the person his wife had been, and while he saved her life, he knew he only did it because he hadn't been able to save Talis. He'd hoped to feel some sort of redemption after the rescue in Karachi, but he didn't.

Irene seemed to have sensed his disappointment in her and had left him alone, no longer requesting that they have dinner.

He kissed the top of Talis' head and buried himself further into the couch, smiling when Talis mewled in protest before settling against him once he was done moving. He'd catch a few more winks before getting up to make Talis the meal she was robbed of yesterday morning.

Dinner?

Pffft… he much preferred breakfast.

An indeterminate time later Sherlock awoke to the sound of muffled laughter coming from the kitchen. Opening his eyes, they focused on John and Talis in the kitchen, chatting amicably over coffee.

He frowned, how had Talis gotten up without him knowing? He narrowed his eyes at her, she had clearly gotten more stealth like over the years, and he wasn't sure how he felt about that.

"He's awake." John noted as he stood and handed him a cup of coffee as he sat up and stretched the kinks out of his extremities. While the couch was comfortable, it wasn't meant for someone of his height to spend the night on. "Sleep well?" he questioned as Sherlock scowled.

Like father, like son. Nikolai was so much like his father, his looks, facial expressions, mannerisms. Seeing Sherlock, getting that glimpse into what Nick would look like in 20 years simultaneously warmed and broke her heart.

"Your son makes the exact same face." She smiled at Sherlock whose expression softened. "Breakfast will be done in a mo." She went back to cooking, giving the Baker Street boys a moment to themselves.

"I guess Moriarty was wrong when he nicknamed you The Virgin," John smiled cheekily as he motioned to the tablet, where Nikolai was smiling brightly, showing off his missing front tooth.

If looks could kill, the glare Sherlock sent him would have destroyed the good doctor where he stood, causing John to smirk even wider as Talis' giggling could be heard from the kitchen.

John held up his hands in surrender, "No offense mate, just taking the piss out of ya." He looked through the digital album, "I can't believe how much he looks like you." He held the tablet beside Sherlock's face.

While the similarities wouldn't be obvious to someone without a more than general knowledge of skeletal structures, they were obvious to John. While Nikolai's face was round with lingering baby fat, the impossibly high cheekbones and narrow shape of his father's face showed through clearly, pair that with the cupids bow lips and mop of messy dark curls and there was no mistaking the boys' parentage.

"Thank god he's not as moody as someone is though!" Talis overdramatically stated as she placed two plates full of food on the table.

Sherlock just glared at her but there was no real malice behind it as he headed to the bathroom to wash up before eating.

John smiled, "Indeed, I think two Holmes gits is enough for one country don't you?" he teased.

"Enough for the planet you mean." Talis giggled as a muffled 'I heard that' drifted in from down the hall.

Sherlock returned and frowned when he realized there were only two plates on the table. "I need to be going," Talis pulled her coat on, "I have a few errands to run before going to Heathrow." She looked out the window at the snow coming down, "Damn." She muttered, realizing she didn't have an umbrella, scarf, or hat.

"Here," Sherlock placed the now infamous deer stalker on her head and wrapped his blue scarf around her neck.

She smiled up at him and John marveled at how much she looked like a miniature female Sherlock.

"I'm taking the tube to Heathrow, but I've hired a car service to bring us back to the Mayfair. Nick arrives on Virgin Atlantic flight 1602, at 12:45pm." She leaned up to kiss his cheek, before heading to do the same to John, "If you want to see him, please do disguise yourself," she headed towards the stairs, turning back to smile at the two men, "He's far too observant for his own good."

She popped her collar with Sherlockian flourish and threw the boys a wink before disappearing in a swirl of black wool.

"Oh shut up John." Sherlock panned before an amused John could open his mouth to comment.

Talis absently hummed along to James Blunts' Bonfire Heart as the tube steadily made its way towards Heathrow. Several things were weighing on her mind, she still had no idea how to tell Nick that she was dying, how do you tell a child that you won't be around to see them grow up? That leaving him behind wasn't something she wanted, but was unable to avoid?

Burying her nose into the soft deep blue scarf she inhaled deeply, the comforting material smelled crisp, clean, with the slightest hint of something so distinctively Sherlock she knew she'd never forget the smell of him.

I'm not getting that scarf back am I?
-SH

Smiling at her mobile, her cheeks flushed pink, and she knew she'd been caught. Looking around at the other passengers, she attempted to suss him out. Frowning as she noted all the people in her car were either ethnic or women she craned her neck to look at the next car and smiled as she noticed the detective dressed as a homeless man, lounging up against the window seat.

She was impressed, his disguise skills had clearly gotten better over the years as she remembered getting on with the man, but not recognizing him until now.

Nope. You'll have to pry it from my cold dead body.
-Tal

She looked to the homeless vagrant who had gone completely still.

Too soon? ;)
-Tal

Sherlock stared as discretely as he could at the mobile, she'd always had a rather dark sense of humor, but the truth behind that particular quip hit a little too close to home.

He looked up to where she had been sitting only to find the spot empty as another message came through.

Sorry, I've had enough time to come to terms with my mortality that
I do believe I'm past denial and anger and have settled on acceptance,
but you haven't had that chance to get there yet.
I'll try to keep the morbid jokes to a minimum.
-Tal

The automated voice announced that they were arriving at Heathrow in just a few moments and Sherlock stood, shuffling towards the door. He felt her beside him without even needing to look.

"You've just returned to me, I'd rather not be reminded that I'll be losing you permanently this time around." He muttered softly so only she could hear.

Nodding she pressed a £5 note into his hands, "Take care of yourself Soup Can Sam!" she smiled brightly before exiting the tube.

Sherlock grunted in response hiding a smile at the use of an old alias he had created back in their 'Lost Days'.

Talis wandered through Heathrow, it really was an amazing airport. She picked up speed as she received a message from Nick's au pair.

Just landed, see you soon.

Talis tapped out a response as she weaved through the throngs of people. She was anxious to see her son, they had never spent more than a night apart, aside from the occasional birthday party sleepover, and even then she was no more than 10 minutes away.

She trusted Nick's au pair implicitly, Jae Sung Bae's great grandfather had owed her great great grandfather a life debt, a debt that Jae was now repaying.

After faking her death she fled to Korea, home of her ancestors. She had tracked down her distant family and they had taken her in, no questions asked.

She remained hidden on Jeju Island until Nikolai Jordan (Holmes) entered the world. Nikolai was barely a month old when she met Jae, the small village she was staying in began buzzing when word of a mysterious stranger riding in on a $75,000 Ducati Desmosedici RR was looking for her.

It had caused quite a bit of gossip when the handsome man marched up to her as she sat on her porch and bowed at her feet.

He had then explained that his ancestors owed hers a life debt, he hadn't gone into much detail, just telling Talis that what her great great grandfather had done led to the Bae's becoming one of the richest and most influential families in Korea.

He had apologized on behalf of his family, ashamed it had taken so long for the debt to be repaid.

She tried to tell him that there was no need to repay a centuries old debt, yet he was adamant.

It was Nick who settled the dispute, he had begun to fuss and strangely enough it was Jae who had calmed him down.

She told him, if he was going to stay, he would be on baby duty, thinking that he would go running at the prospect of changing nappies and 2am feedings, however there was no hesitation in his reply.

He had been Nikolai's nanny (manny?) ever since.

She broke from her musings at the sound of little feet running, "MUMMY!"

Talis opened her arms just in time for her son to jump into them. She hugged her son to her, it had been just over 48 hours since she had seen him last, however these days, distances, be it time or miles were much more acutely felt.

Sherlock watched in rapt fascination as his little doppelganger launched himself at Talis, nearly knocking her to the ground in his excitement. He was amazed at just how similar he and the boy looked. He had seen photos and videos, but they hadn't done the similarities justice. Sherlock felt as if he was looking at himself from 20 years ago.

He was so busy cataloging everything about his son, that he nearly missed the tall handsome man that greeted Talis with a lingering kiss on the cheek.

Well damn, I always miss something.

Damn, this chapter was long! Molly will be making an appearance in another St. Barts heart to heart with Sherlock in the next chapter, so yay!

Thanks to secretsunion, AdaYuki, thedragonaunt, Rocking the Redhead, 49789, and lavanyalabelle for the reviews! And to silkenslay, who sorta left a review! ;)

Also, Bonfire Heart is an absolutely adorable song, I totes recommend it!

Love y'all!
Getting2KnowL
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