Sigyn awoke the next morning, cold and alone in her bed, her heart heavy and her eyes still puffy from crying.
She didn't know how long she had remained by the front door after Loki left, hoping he would come back, before she had finally given up and dragged herself back to her bedroom. She had known that Edmund would be home soon, and had wanted to avoid him and any questions her disheveled appearance would have raised.
Fortunately, Edmund did not stay long after he arrived home from his duties, likely not even realizing that Sigyn was there. As soon as he'd changed his clothes, he had left to meet Ingrid, the kitchen maid he had been seeing since the night of the Queen's celebration.
Sigyn had just remarked to Edmund the previous week that her romantic luck must have been rubbing off on him. After the events of the previous night, however, it seemed Sigyn's luck had run its course and she was back to being alone.
She knew she could not stay in bed all day - no matter how badly she wanted to avoid them, her duties to the Queen were still required. She forced herself up and into the bath before walking to the palace.
She convinced herself that Loki would be waiting for her when she arrived for her duties, just as he did every day. He would give her a chance to make things right. They would move on and forget the previous night ever happened.
But her hopes were dashed as she turned from the stairs into the corridor leading to the Queen's chambers, and his familiar presence was completely absent. She went into the nearest alcove, giving herself a moment to cry in peace before composing herself. She was not going to let her disappointment affect her service to the Queen.
The day passed by slowly, and Sigyn found it more difficult with each passing moment to keep her emotions in check. If the Queen noticed anything amiss, she kept silent about it, much to Sigyn's relief.
After her duties, she searched everywhere for Loki - looking in all the places in which they had spent time together. The library, the terraces, the hidden alcoves in deserted hallways were all empty; it was as though he had abandoned the palace entirely. She gave up in frustration and headed home, not even bothering to eat before she collapsed back into her bed and into fitful sleep.
The next day was the same, hours of trying to complete her duties without allowing the emotional turmoil in her head to affect her job. She still searched for Loki after her services were completed, but once again he was no where to be found.
She knew things could not continue like this. The Queen deserved better than a lovesick handmaiden who couldn't perform her duties. As much as it broke her heart, Sigyn knew she had only one option left.
Loki had spent the past two days in the outlying forests of Asgard, returning in the evenings only after he knew Sigyn would be gone. He had needed time to clear his thoughts, to get her out of his mind - a task that had proven quite unsuccessful.
A note had been waiting for him when he arrived back at his chambers the previous night, and even before he saw the Queen's seal, he knew who had sent it. He sat on the edge of his bed, reading it again and again.
Come to my chambers first thing in the morning, before Sigyn arrives. You and I must discuss this situation - I have no desire to find a new handmaiden at this time.
He would not disobey her, yet he knew it was going to be a difficult conversation. Even a simplification of what had happened would still be more information than he wanted to share with his mother. He finally decided that if she was going to summon him, she could ask the questions; how he answered was still under his control.
The palace was quiet when he arrived at her chambers, the day having barely started. He let himself in without knocking.
"I was afraid you might not show." His mother was sitting at her dressing table, still in her sleeping gown.
"I considered it, but I know better than to defy you."
"Come here," she said, indicating a chair next to hers. "Sit with me."
Loki did as he was asked, feeling no different than a child being reprimanded for a misdeed. He didn't say a word as he settled into the chair, stretching his legs straight out and crossing his arms over his chest.
"Must you look so sullen?" asked the Queen, turning to face him in her chair.
"I'm sorry, Mother. I don't have much reason to be happy right now."
"Well, that is just about the most foolish thing I've heard from your mouth in a very long time."
Loki leaned forward in his chair and opened his mouth to protest, when the Queen raised her hand to him.
"No - you will hear me out."
He slumped back, clenching his jaw in frustration and sighing loudly through his nose. "What did she tell you?"
"She told me nothing." The Queen reached towards him, unfolding his arms so she could hold his hands. "Loki, I don't need to know the details of what happened between you and Sigyn to surmise that whatever it was, neither of you is very pleased with the outcome."
"Sigyn has no reason to be displeased, Mother. She was quite clear about her feelings for me that night, and they were not what I had hoped."
"I see. So, she told you that she does not have strong feelings for you?"
"Not exactly...she wasn't talking to me at the time-"
"So, you overheard part of a conversation and made assumptions about what you heard? Surely you gave her a chance to explain herself."
"I didn't need to hear any explanations."
The Queen dropped Loki's hands and sat back in her chair. "Let me make sure I understand. You made assumptions about an overheard conversation and did not give Sigyn an opportunity to explain what she may have meant?"
"Well...yes." He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms once again.
"Did you ever stop to think you might be wrong?"
"So, you're taking her side? You don't even know what was said." He looked toward the door, waiting for any opportunity to leave.
"I don't need to know what was said. Loki, look at me."
Reluctantly, he turned back to her.
"I see Sigyn nearly every day, just as you do. However, I am witness to how she behaves when you are not here. I need only mention your name, and her entire face lights up. She smiles to herself, lost in thought, when she thinks no one is looking. You may think she does not have strong feelings for you, but you could not be more wrong. That girl is in love with you."
"She told you this? Or are you just assuming?"
The Queen narrowed her eyes at his condescending tone. "A woman's assumptions are worth more than any man's, especially when it comes to love."
Loki stayed silent and stared at the floor, unable to form a reply. He trusted his mother's opinion, but she had not been there that night. She didn't understand how hurt he was. Sigyn had asked him to let her explain - should he have given her the chance? What could she possibly have said that would have made him feel better? He hated being so unsure, but he hadn't known what else to do.
He felt his mother's hand beneath his chin, raising his face to hers. "Loki, Sigyn loves you, and I know you love her as well. If you can't look into your heart, and realize that for yourself..." She patted his cheek. "Well, then I'm afraid there's nothing anyone can do for you."
Sigyn reached for the door to the Queen's chambers, hesitating just a moment before turning the handle. She knew she needed to get this over with before she changed her mind.
The Queen was alone, seated at her writing table. "Sigyn, good morning."
"Your Majesty." Sigyn approached her slowly, turning the paper in her hand over and over. This was going to be more difficult than she thought. "There is something I need to give you."
The Queen looked at her, her face impassive. "What is it?"
Sigyn handed the Queen the paper, her words spilling out in a rush. "Forgive me, Your Majesty, but I feel I can no longer serve you to the best of my abilities. Please accept my resignation. I will remain in your service until you find a suitable replacement." She took a deep breath, fighting back tears. "This is for the best. For everyone."
The Queen took the paper, unfolding it to read over the words written on it. After a moment, she folded it back up, handing it back to Sigyn with a sigh. "I will not accept this."
"I'm sorry?"
"I said, I will not accept your resignation." The Queen pointed to a chair next to her desk. "Sit down."
Sigyn did as she was asked, puzzled with the turn of events. This was not going as she planned. She kept her eyes down, waiting for the Queen to speak.
"Sigyn, I'm going to ask you a question. I don't want you to think about the answer, I just want you to say the first thing that comes to your mind, understood?"
"Yes, Your Majesty." Sigyn wasn't sure what to expect, but the Queen's question was still something of a shock.
"How strong are you feelings for Loki?"
Sigyn had never voiced it, but in her heart she knew there was only one answer. She loved him, completely and wholeheartedly. But he was the one that needed to hear it, not his mother. She chose her words carefully.
"My feelings for him...they are stronger than I have ever felt for anyone before, Your Majesty." As she spoke, it was as if a dam had burst inside her. Her face crumpled, and she began to cry. "But that doesn't matter anymore." She took the Queen's hand, not caring how improper she was behaving. She was desperate for someone - anyone - to listen. "I said something without thinking, Your Majesty. If he would just give me a chance to explain, i-if I could just make him understand…" Her words trailed off as another sob wracked her body.
The Queen sat in silence, patting Sigyn's hand and waiting for her to compose herself.
After a moment, Sigyn took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry, Your Majesty. I promised you that I would not let my relationship with Loki affect my service to you, and yet look at me." Sigyn wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Please, forgive me."
"There is nothing to forgive, dear." She looked over Sigyn's shoulder, as if gathering her thoughts. "Our feelings are not always logical. They sometimes make fools of even the wisest among us." She pulled a handkerchief from her gown, handing it to Sigyn. "When your duties are finished for the day, I want you to find Loki and talk to him. I am certain he will want to hear what you have to say."
Sigyn dabbed her cheeks, already feeling better. "Thank you, Your Majesty. For everything."
The Queen smiled at her, handing her a list of duties for the day. "Now, dry your tears - I need you to fetch more parchment for me. I seem to have run out."
"Yes, Your Majesty. Right away." Sigyn stood up, setting her shoulders with renewed determination.
The Queen watched her leave, waiting for the door to shut before rising from her chair to turn toward the opposite wall. "Are you still unconvinced?"
Loki stood there, having concealed himself from Sigyn. Hearing her words, seeing how upset she was - he knew she was telling the truth. "No, Mother."
"Well, then. When she comes to you, for once in your life, be ready to listen."