Chapter 19

(Please Read and Review thank you! And as usual I don't own anything)

Bella shoots out of bed and she stumbles around the hotel. Her body covered in sweat yet again. She doesn't even bother taking off her tank top and shorts. Bella staggers towards the tub and cuts the shower on ice cold. She had to get rid of the fire. She panted desperate for air. Bella rolls into the tub extinguishing the flames. Bringing her knees to her chest Bella begins to rock.

Her body's lifted up and the water is shut off.

Her eyes open and she grabs him by the collar.
"I can't breathe."

He nods and calmly places her down on the bed.
"Cas…" She panics her back arching.

Cas puts a hand to her chest and looks her in the eyes. Her body starts to relax, her breathing becoming calmer. Tears begin to form as she quickly rolls over ashamed of how she's displaying herself. Bella buries her face into a pillow.

"You must think I'm pathetic." She mutters into the pillow.

"I do not."

She grips the pillow tight and yells into it. Cas sits beside her.

"I'm ok now. I'm sure you've got better things to do."

"Why do you think that?"

Bella rose wiping her eyes.

"You're an angel of God Cas. I'm this nothing human. I honestly don't know why you bother…"

Castiel shoots up angrily. He gradually grabs Bella and puts her in a chair.

"Do not say such things."

Bella swallows back nervously.

"You maybe human but you're undoubtedly worthy. My mission by God is to hunt alongside of you and Dean. My personal mission is to protect you! This is not an obligation. I might have been sent here on quest but there is nowhere else I wish to be. I am here of my own will at the moment and have been."

"I just don't understand."
"What is there to understand Bella? What have I not made clear?"

She wasn't sure what to say. There was just so much more to this. But the guilt within her rose. The more she was around Castiel the deeper her feelings. Is it a sin to have feelings for an angel? To have desires that just shouldn't be there. She'd die of embarrassment if he ever knew. He'd find her disgusting and immoral he'd leave and never return.

On no occasion was she aware that he too was having the same sorts of thoughts. He too felt wrong by his frame of mind. He thought her an innocent girl. She deserved so much more than the purpose she was currently serving. But he knew that was his father's wish as well. That Dean and Bella remain hunters. That is their duty just as he had his own. It is how God intended it. However he doubted God projected for one of his own angel's to fall for a human, much less a hunter. He thought Bella deserved bliss, to be a wife and mother one day. This wasn't happiness. This like he was a lifelong mission that never quit. He'd never thought about such things though until he'd laid eyes on her. Everything about her intrigues him. He can't take his eyes of her. He felt sinful for wanting to touch her, for wanting each instant to be looking out for her. This was the first mission he found full gratification in.

"I just don't know what to think."

Castiel nods noticing how tired she's growing. He did his best to ignore the fact that he could see directly through her clothing. It made him feel funny. It made him think of the pizza man, he wanted to touch her in those mannerisms. But it was a sin. In fact a lot of things he felt for Bella was sinful.

"You should get some rest." He says turning his head.

Bella nods and wearily rises making her way back to bed. She didn't even care that her clothing was still damp. Her eyes were too heavy. Once she was sound, Castiel tucked her in. He stared upon her for a moment as she began to whimper in her sleep. Decidedly, he tried something he'd never before. He lay beside Bella and wrapped his arm around her. Her body became less tense, she slept more soundly and he too felt more at peace.

The next morning Bella awakes she gets showered and dressed. She waits for a bit wondering where Cas went. Dean knocks on the door and Bella answers.

"You ready?"

Bella looks around the hotel room.

"Um yeah…" Bella grabs her bags and tosses them in the back of her truck.

"Something wrong?"

"Nope."

"Where's the guardian?"

Bella shrugs.

"Huh… Well anyway we should hopefully get there tonight."

"Ok."

Dean tilts his head curiously upon his sister.

"Hey… you sure you're ok?"

Bella nods and gets in her truck. He watches as she pulls out and heads on out. Dean gets in the car.

"Something's wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"Bella she's just… I just know there's something."

Jo nods as Dean starts the car.

"Where was Cas?"

"You know how he is. I'm sure he'll turn up eventually."

"How does she do it?"

"What's that Jo?"

"Keep her sanity?"

Dean sighs.

"Honestly I'm not sure."

"I don't think I'd handle it very well. How do you overcome Hell?"

"I don't think she has to be honest. She might not ever."

Jo goes to turn on the radio and Dean stops her.

"There's something else we should discuss."

Dean pauses trying to think on how to put this.

"You mean us?"

He nods.

"I mean clearly we've got something going here. But I kinda need to know what you're plans are?"

"How do you mean exactly?"

"Well… You know go back to your life as it was? Or…"

"Or what join you and Bella guns a blazing?"

He cocks a brow her way.

"Guess you'll have to find out now won't ya?"

Dean chuckles a bit.

"I guess so."

Jo smiles and turns on the radio.

Bella pulls into the driveway. Ellen and Bobby are already outside. They make their way over the minute they see Bella's truck. Once she steps out Ellen yanks her over and hugs her. She sways Bella a bit as she breaks down against her.

"Oh thank God sugar bug." She kisses Bella's cheeks and looks her over.

"How are you holding up hun?"

"I'm doing ok."

Bobby however picks her up and swings her around kissing the top of her head.

"Bobby!" She groans and he laughs.

"It's good to see ya Bells."

"You too Bobby." She smiles but once again that knot forms.

She clears her throat as Dean and Jo pull up.

"Now it's time for me to kill a certain Winchester." Ellen mutters under her breath as she makes her way over to the Impala.

Bobby notices the look on Bella's face. He takes her by the arm and leads her into the house. Bobby goes to the fridge and hands her a beer. Bella half laughs remembering her last attempt at drinking a beer. She looked around the house.

"Whatcha looking for? The police? The way I see it you can take on demons and have been to hell and back… I think you can have yourself a drink."

Bella nods as he pops it open and hands it to her. Bobby pulls out a chair for her. He watches as Bella takes the beer to the label. She was glad to see it wasn't water yet that also caused a certain fear within her. She leans back in the chair but looks down upon the table. Quickly she wipes her eyes already feeling it coming. She grips her beer getting angry with herself. Honestly hadn't she cried enough? When would it ever stop? Bobby sighs and grabs another beer placing it in front of her.

"Bobby Singer!" Ellen scolds as she enters the room.

"Woman she deserves a god damn beer."

Dean tries not to laugh.

"She's underage!"

Bobby rolls his eyes.

"Well I'm not gonna tell." He smarts and Jo laughs.

"Mom seriously let Bella get a little drunk."

"Jesus." Ellen grips but they all laugh as Ellen slams down Bobby's bottle of bourbon before Bella.

"That's mine."

"I know… the good stuff to. If I'm allowing this girl to get drunk in my house she's gonna do it properly!"

They all look to Dean first as if asking his permission except for Bella. Who's already pouring herself a shot. Dean shrugs seeing she's already downed it and is choking a bit. Bobby pops her on the back.

"Easy kiddo."

Dean sighs and grabs everyone else a beer. They all sit in silence for a moment. He knew Ellen wasn't going to be too happy about Jo going. That was why Jo didn't even ask her permission. She simply left a message telling Ellen and Bobby she was going to help break Bella out of Hell. Ellen let him know how she could have lost both her girls. But through the anger was the happiness. She hugged him and kissed his forehead. "Thank you for bringing them both back Dean." Is what took place outside once Bella had followed Bobby inside.

"So where's Cas?" Dean questions looking around.

Bella shrugs as she polishes off her other beer.

"Haven't seen him all day."

"That's a bit odd I mean considering it's Cas."

Bella nods.

"Who's Cas?"

Jo smiles.

"He's my angel."

"Your what?" Bobby questions with narrowed eyes.

"At least he claims to be." Dean says with rolled eyes.

"He ripped me out of Hell. Fought a bunch of monsters in purgatory and here I am." Bella says as she rises up.

"Ok now's a good time to cut her off." Dean says as his sister stumbles a bit.

"I'm fine."

Bobby laughs as she sways her shot glass around taking one more hit. Ellen's eyes widen and she elbows Bobby.

"What? She's funny."

"She's drunk."

"Yep." He chuckles.

Jo presses her lips together but takes Bella's hand.

"He's tall and wears a tie and trench coat. He's got wings too but I've never seen them." Bella flaps her hands in the air and starts laughing.

"Wings…" She says laughing again as Jo drags her to the bedroom.

Dean sighs.

"Way to go Bobby."
Jo lays Bella down. Bella tries to get back up.

"Oh no you don't, lay down brat."

"I's not a brat."

"Hmm maybe not but you're clearly a light weight, with a speech impediment."

Bella laughs.

"I don't have a speech I ped a ment."

"Sure ya don't."

Jo goes to the closet and takes down one of her old Ken dolls. She begins to dress him like Castiel. She even finds a set of white wings and she nearly chokes on the irony. She turns seeing Bella's out already. She sighs and places the doll in her hands.

"What the fuck?" Dean mouths as he enters the room seeing this.

"What he seems to calm her, thought maybe this would work."

Dean rolls his eyes.

"Great so she goes from running from angels to sleeping with them!"

Dean's eyes widen as he catches what he said and Jo's dying with laughter.

"Hey you said it!"

"Son of a bitch I'm gonna kill Cas!"

"No you're not." Jo says softly.

"The hell I'm not!"
"Shh.. she's sleeping."

Castiel appears not long after Dean and Jo have left the room. Once again he lies beside her and wraps his arm around her.

"Cas?" Bella tiredly says but falls back asleep.

Castiel smiles amongst himself saying nothing.

The next morning Bella sits up on the bed. She sees Castiel standing before her bed facing her.

"Cas?"

He nods. Her mouth is dry, lips chapped, head pounding. She groans and lays back down. However she rolls over seeing the doll. Her eyes widen and she quickly hides it under her pillow.

"I'm gonna kill her…" Bella mutters shaking her head.

"Kill whom?"

Bella sighs and throws the sheets off her.

"Nobody Cas." She clears her throat and looks upon him.

"So where were you yesterday?"

Castiel goes to answer but she holds up a hand.

"Actually you know what it's none of my business. I'm sorry Cas."

"I do not mind telling you."
"It's ok really. I'm gonna get ready now."

He nods and turns around as Bella gets dressed.

"There are something's I do not understand."

Bella slips into her jeans as he's talking.

"What are those things Cas?"

"You're human so maybe you can interpret."

"I can try. Shoot away Cas."

"Why do I feel irate when another being touches you and kisses your hand?"

Bella quickly turns to him as she's buttoning her shirt. He's still got his back turned to her. She swallows back before answering.

"That's a human trait Cas. It's jealousy."

"Jealousy?"

"Yes I assume so."

He nods.

"Why do I feel certain compulsions?"

"Compulsions? What do you mean exactly Cas?"

"Urges."

"Urges?"

"Yes much like the pizza man."

Bella narrows her eyes confused.

"The pizza man?"

"Yes."

"What's the pizza man exactly Cas? Are you hungry maybe?"

"I do not know… Dean says I shouldn't talk about it."

"Why would he say that?"

"I'm not sure. I think he thought you would be upset."

"Um ok…"

"I'm not sure about the pizza man then Cas sorry."

He nods.

"There is also this peculiar sensation in my chest. I'm not sure what it is."

Bella covers her mouth and shuts her eyes for a moment.

"What does it feel like?"

"Fluttery like."

"When does this happen Cas?"

"When I'm around you."

Bella swallows nervously and clears her throat.

"What else do you not understand?"

"Why I do not like being away from you."

"Maybe because we have a connection."

"Connection?"

"Yes Cas."

"Is this why I feel the desire to touch you?"

She stumbles back a bit.

"Touch?"

"Much like the pizza man."

"Cas what is the pizza man?"

Cas turns around at this point. He slowly approaches her. His arms go around her waist and he looks her in the eyes. Castiel leans into Bella he then presses his lips against hers. Zealously he begins to kiss Bella, her heart races and breathing picks up pace. When he comes to a stop he leans his forehead against hers for a moment.

"What is this?" He says softly.

Bella covers her mouth as her bottom lip starts to quiver a bit.

"I've upset you?" Cas says taking a step back.

"No you haven't."
Castiel looks upon the floor now.
"I shouldn't of…"

"Cas! Just shut up ok. Please just let me think. You can't just kiss me like that and… expect me to be able to think a coherent thought."

He looks upon her again. Bella sighs her hands shaking a bit. Her voice quivers as she begins to talk.

"It's called love Cas. What you're feeling it's love."

"So I'm in love?"

"What do you think Cas? What's in your heart?"

He nods and paces the room a bit.

"I think you're right."

Cas stops however and turns towards her.

"What about you Bella?"

Bella leans against the wall eyeing him. Her heart racing her body reacting in ways she'd never felt before.

"How would this work Cas? We come from different worlds we serve different purposes."

He nods.

"I've thought about this myself. But I realized something."

"What's that?"

"I don't care."

"But you must."

"You're right. I suppose what I mean is I do not care that we are different, that dissimilar things are expected from us. Even angels are given free will Bella. I could choose a path that leads to you."

Bella sighs and closes her eyes.

"If that's what you wish." He adds feeling anxious not sure why.

"Cas… I'd follow you anywhere." She says and her knees buckle as she comes down against the wall. She couldn't believe what she'd just said. But she knew it was true.

Cas appears before her crouching down. He takes her hand and caresses her cheek.

"Then what is next?"

Bella smiles shaking her head.

"Well in human terms I guess we are dating."

"Dating?"

"Yes Cas it's when two people spend some time together getting to know one another. You know to see if they're truly compatible, if they happen to see a future together."

Castiel nods.

"Then I would like to date you."

"Cas…"
"Yes?"

"I've never done this before. To be honest this is my first for anything like this." She lowers her head.

"That was also my first kiss." She says with a blush.

"Did it suffice?"

She smiles.

"Beyond."

"I'm new to this as well Bella."

"Then I suppose we're to teach each other."

He helps her to her feet.

"I shall let you finish getting ready."

Bella nods but can barely think. Her mind was still on that kiss and how his touch felt. Never did she imagine her first boyfriend would be an angel. She giggles to herself in thought.

"This is so weird." She mutters brushing her hair.

She peers over and see's Castiel sitting on the edge of the bed. She's got her toothbrush in her mouth. She spits once she's done and grabs the mouthwash. As she gurgles she peers back over she narrows her eyes seeing something in his hand. She nearly chokes seeing the doll. She spits into the sink and hurriedly makes her way over yanking the doll away.

"It looks nothing like me."

She stuffs it into a drawer and blushes.