Chapter 58

ARINA'S POV

I wasn't sure how long it took us to reach the city, but by then I had been so tired that I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. I was lucky that I didn't dream, but I felt that something was floating on the outside of my mind, protecting me. I couldn't be sure if I was imagining that or not. When I finally woke, I was in a room that was open and airy. I took a breath, and my eyes fluttered open. Slowly, I pushed myself up, and looked around. It was morning from the looks of it. Thorin was no where to be found, but just as I started to get out of bed, someone walked in.

"No, you stay there."

Looking up, I watched as Elrond approached the bed. "I...where is Thorin?" I asked.

"He is sleeping," the elf answered. "He has been awake far too long. I gave him a tonic so that he may rest."

"How...how long have I been asleep?" I found myself dreading the answer.

"Another five days have passed since you arrived here. You were not yourself when you arrived, so I helped you sleep. We guarded your mind, because you were unable."

"We?" I asked.

"You think I would not help?"

Looking over again, I saw Lady Galadriel walk in and I sucked in a breath. She walked so smoothly that she looked like she was floating. It had been over fifty years since I had seen her, and she had not changed.

"I have no words for that," I murmured. "I didn't know who knew..."

"You cannot remember who did this to you?" she asked.

"No..."

"It takes a powerful magic, to alter ones memories," she sighed, walking over to my bedside. "But luckily, there are those who are stronger then that."

"You know who did this to me?" I asked, tears coming to my eyes.

"Yes," Galadriel answered softly, and moved some hair from my face. "But we must not let him know that yet."

"You aren't going to tell me?" I demanded suddenly. "I have a right to know."

"If I told you, you must promise me that you will not act in revenge. I promise you that one day you will get it, but it will not be today," she answered.

"I promise," I nodded.

"The White Wizard."

I sucked in my breath, and betrayal cut itself deep into my heart. Saruman. He was the one who did this to me, and he had taken away my memories. I looked at my hands, and I closed my eyes tightly after a minute. I couldn't wake Thorin just yet, but I needed someone else in this room. Galadriel quietly rose to her feet and Elrond took her place. He reached out and grabbed my hand, letting me grip his own tightly. I was so angry, and it was such a sudden and fierce feeling that it scared me a little.

"His betrayal has been long in the making," Galadriel sighed softly. "I had a feeling, but his power is great. He was able to hide it from me. If I had known we wouldn't have allowed you to fall into such danger."

"None of this is your fault," I muttered, looking at my hand gripping Elrond's.

"We suspect that he will realize his mistake. I was able to go into your mind and find the lost memories," she continued, her voice seeming far off. "He'll likely know that we have found out, but like I said we must act like we do not. I want to know what he is doing."

"He is working with Sauron?" I finally asked.

"Yes, I do think he was won over," Galadriel sighed. "I am however not surprised."

"Why?"

"He has so much power," Elrond rumbled. "So much that he only craves more, to prove to himself and to others how great he is. Working with Sauron will give him that. For a time."

I shuddered a little. "So if he had me as a weapon.."

"We'd all be in grave danger," Elrond sighed. "I am so sorry, that you have had to deal with such pain. But what you did was for the better. Saruman would have broken Thane. He does not yet possess the power to protect his mind. You are a good mother, and a wise Queen."

Part of me swelled at the praise, knowing that what I had done was the right thing. During the torture, I had begun to question if it had indeed been right. If they had won, I'd be a tool. If not, I'd be dead. Either way, it would have been a loss, but Thorin and the others had found me before it had gone worse.

"So what to we do now?" I asked, looking up.

"You need to heal," Galadriel sighed softly. "We will send you home with supplies to help you. We will keep a careful watch. So will your King and his people, that I have no doubt."

I nodded quietly to them, and soon I was left alone. I thought about what we had just spoken of, and then searched my mind a little. Part of me was actually glad he had taken away the memories. As I was thinking back, there were gaps in my mind, and parts of the torture had gone with it. He had been present for the majority of the time then. I didn't have to be haunted by so many memories, but the ones I had were still enough to send me into nightmares. I grit my teeth. I had been through this before, I could get through it again. I sat in bed for what seemed like hours, when the door opened again.

I looked up and saw Thorin there. Even though he had slept, he didn't look like it. He had ran a brush quickly through his hair and from his breathing he had run here. I felt tears come to my eyes, so I blinked them back fiercely. He came forward, and I was immediately taken into his arms. He hugged me so tightly I had trouble breathing. I returned it just as fiercely, and closed my eyes when he kissed the top of my head.

"I am so sorry we weren't quick enough," he rumbled. "I'm so sorry."

"None of this is your fault. You found me, that's all that matters," I hushed him, my voice shaking. "My body is healed, and with time so will my mind."

"You won't be alone," Thorin said, pulling back to look at me.

He cupped my cheeks, and I reached up and grabbed his wrists. I tried hard not to cry and when it worked I let out a breath of relief. He pressed a kiss to my forehead, and he soon found my lips. I gave into it, before he pulled back again. He tried not to linger, but I could feel the relief from him. Relief I was sure we both felt.

"Are you hungry?" he asked gently.

"I am," I answered tentatively.

Hearing the uncertainty in my voice, Thorin turned to get a good look at me. He sighed softly, and reached out and ran a hand through my hair. I closed my eyes at the contact for just a moment. Getting to his feet, Thorin retrieved a brush and climbed into bed behind me. It was a touching gesture, and one I couldn't help but relax into. Feeling him run the brush through my hair and braid it again gave me comfort. When he was done, he pressed a kiss to my shoulder.

"You are brave," he murmured. "Braver than any person I have met. We can go out and eat. There are not many here. You are safe."

"Thank you," I whispered.

He helped me get into a new change of clothes, and I flinched at the sore muscles in my back. Thorin paid close attention, and soon we were heading toward the place where meals were usually held. From the suns position, it was earlier afternoon. When we entered the place, I saw Aragorn, Thane, Dwalin, Elrond and Legolas there. It was a small group, but I still felt myself tense. Thorin drew me close to his side, and turned so that I was suddenly facing his chest. It startled me so much that I jumped at the sudden movement, and my eyes flew to his.

"If you don't want to do this we can turn around," he said softly. "I can ask for someone to send food to your room."

I felt my expression ease dramatically, knowing that he was here for me. Reaching out, I took his hand, and laced our fingers together. Thorin looked down at them for a moment, before glancing back up to me.

"As long as I have you by my side," I whispered. "I will be all right."

Thorin's tense posture eased at the words I spoke, and I found I relaxed a little as well. He nodded, and leaned in to press a kiss to my cheek before leading me out. No one stopped talking, but they did smile when we came into view. Dwalin immediately surged to his feet, and I expected that. Apparently so did Thorin, who stepped aside as the warrior came up to me. I grunted as he swept me up into a hug, and again I was caught off guard. Returning the hug, I couldn't help the soft smile that graced my lips.

"Thank you, Dwalin," I murmured.

"I'm glad to see you well, My Lady," he rumbled.

"Aye," I nodded. "I will be."

Pulling back, Dwalin laid his hands on my shoulders and gave me a good look over, bless his heart. The dwarf quietly nodded to himself once he was satisfied, and it made me smile a little. He moved aside, and Thorin and I took the chairs that were open. I sat next to Thane, and let him lean in and kiss my cheek. I could feel his energy and he was bursting with happiness to see that I was awake. Reaching out, touched his cheek and pushed some of his hair away from his eyes. His blue orbs softened at the contact, and I dropped my hand after a moment. Thane reached out and grabbed my hand again and pressed a kiss to it.

"Thank you," I murmured, and he pressed our foreheads together.

"I cannot truly express the joy I feel, seeing you awake, Amad," he rumbled softly.

I chuckled, and patted his cheek. "I can feel it, my dear son," I answered, my voice soft. "That's all that matters."

Thane smiled again, and leaned back from me and finally released my hand. I straightened back up, and let Thorin lay his hand on my own. I laced our fingers again, and found myself gripping his own. I looked at him for a moment, when Legolas drew my attention, as well as Aragorn.

"It is good to see you well," Legolas said softly.

"Thank you," I nodded. "I both of you. I remember you were there."

"Aye," Legolas nodded.

"You have my gratitude," I murmured.

"Think nothing of it," the elf shook his head.

I barely noticed Thorin slide a plate of food in front of me, and I reached and took a drink of water that was in front of me. As I took a sip and set the cup down, I paused and felt my chest tighten in a slight surge of panic. I didn't want to be here, I couldn't face them. It was all too fresh in my mind. I felt my heart rate increase, and slowly I forced in a soft breath.

"Why did you go and meet Smaug?"

I blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

Aragorn took his pipe from his mouth. "What made you want to meet the dragon?" he asked, his voice casual.

I opened my mouth to answer that, and closed it promptly. A second passed, and suddenly I chuckled a little at the odd question. Tilting my head a little, I let the words float around in my head a little. Even Thorin was looking at me curiously. This was a good distraction, and I went with it. He was trying to help me, and I was glad for the change of subject.

"Well," I said slowly. "There had been stories, rumors that had begun to float around that Thorin had been killed in a small battle near the Blue Mountains. When I had heard them, I had continued what I was doing, staying hidden. After a few years, I decided that it was time for a change. I had always been curious about the dragon..and..."

I took a breath and glanced at Thorin to see that he was focusing on something off in the distance. He was listening intently, but I knew he knew about the rumor that had gone around. Everyone was listening closely at the table.

"I figured it had been about thirty years, and nothing had happened. I wasn't allowed to return, I was still stuck in hiding. It was a pretty low point for me, and honestly even though I was curious, I was hoping the dragon would kill me," I continued on. "I was quite surprised when he didn't. After the rumors, I wasn't brave enough to go back and if they were true I wouldn't have known what to do. So, the dragon and I entered a tentative friendship. He allowed me to return to the mountain, and I kept going back."

"Did you ever think you could kill him?" Thane asked suddenly.

"Part of me wanted to, yes," I nodded. "He had taken a precious home, and had killed so many. But I knew that killing him wouldn't bring them back, and I didn't even have the power to kill him. He would have turned me to ash in seconds. I didn't feel like angering the beast."

"So, he allowed you to stay, or come back?" Aragorn mused.

"As I said, he was an intelligent creature," I sighed. "I did value his knowledge, and he did have a sense of humor. I thank him for one thing though. He got me in trouble, and it brought me back."

I looked up and glanced fondly at Thorin, and saw his lips lift in a half smile. Reaching out, he touched my fingers and sighed quietly. I glanced back at Aragorn to finish what the story.

"After Lord Elrond realized what I was doing, I was called here," I mused, and the elf lord smiled. "When that happened, I ran right into Thorin and the company in the Quest for Erebor."

"That's quite a tale," Aragorn smiled.

"Thank you," I sighed, grateful.

He tilted his head slightly in acknowledgment, and I found that I was able to eat what was on my plate. Thane rose to his feet shortly after and went with Dwalin who had also risen to his feet. I watched them go for just a moment, and then sighed quietly.

"We leave as soon as you are able," Thorin rumbled.

"I think it would be wise to get you home," Elrond spoke finally. "You will heal better there."

This time it was Thorin who got to his feet to speak, and he spoke for me. "We cannot thank you enough, for what was done," he rumbled, meeting Elrond's eyes. "If you need any assistance, Erebor will answer."

Lord Elrond nodded his head gently. "Just get her home," he said seriously.

"We can leave now," I said softly.

The men at the table nodded, so I rose swiftly to my feet. Aragorn walked around the table as we moved. Looking over to him, I took his hand when he reached out. He pressed it to his lips, and covered it with his other.

"You are a powerful person," he said gently. "You still have great things to do."

"You are kind. Thank you," I nodded.

Going over to Lord Elrond, I paused when he stood up. I let him draw me forward and hug me tightly. I hugged him back, and knew I had much to be grateful for from him. He had done much to keep me safe, him and Galadriel both. I pressed my cheek against his chest, feeling suddenly like such a child. But that only made my heart feel a bit lighter.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"You are loved, Arina," he rumbled. "Do not forget that."

"I won't."

When we got to the courtyard, Thane was standing there with Dwalin quietly. I glanced and saw the serious look on his face. He looked over at me when we approached, and he walked over. I reached out to him, and drew him into a tight hug. He hugged me back, and pressed his face against my shoulder.

"We're flying back," he murmured.

Nodding my head, I moved away from them and focused for a moment. This time when I focused on what I wanted to be, the familiar rush went over my body. Wings, feathers, clawed feet and a strong beak. That alone had me stretching my wings in joy, and I shook my body off. No power over me, I was myself again. Searching my mind for a moment, I was glad to feel it was my own. Something shuddered briefly as flashes of my torture popped up, but I just focused on the fact that I was an eagle.

Leaning down, I let Thorin get on my back and I stretched my wings again. Thane took flight first, and I followed. We flew quickly, and once we were far enough, Dwalin was suddenly on my back. I glanced back for a moment, and then looked down when Thane pushed another transformation. He grew in size dramatically, and scales replaced feathers. Leathery wings stretched open, and suddenly I was looking at a large black dragon. He had a similar body style to my own, but he was a bit thicker. He tilted his large head up to look at me, and he rumbled loudly. His red eye glowed even during the day and I clicked my beak together, I knew what he wanted. Sighing, I safely transferred Thorin and Dwalin to him, before turning human myself.

Thane made a three day trip into one. His larger wings made for more speed, and he carried us straight to the entrance of Erebor. It was well into the night when we arrived, but I had never been so happy to see my home. He landed gently, and soon we were safe on the ground. Thorin wrapped an arm around my waist gently as Thane turned human.

"We will meet in the morning," Thorin rumbled.

"Father," Thane nodded.

I extracted myself from Thorin, and walked over to my son and kissed his cheek softly. "Love you, dear boy," I whispered.

He smiled at the jest, and pressed the cheek I kissed against my own. "And I you, mother," he murmured.

We all walked into the mountain, and I was aware that Dwalin had quickly cleared the area so that I could be sent to our rooms without being bothered. I knew that there were many who would want to see me. I was so happy to see our room that it almost brought me to tears. Thorin shut the door quietly and watched my quietly as I sat on the bed. I was tired all over again.

"Come, let us rest, and then in the morning we will see the others if you are all right," Thorin sighed. "They need to know their Queen is back."

"I will handle it," I nodded. "I'll make myself."

He kept everything normal, and I did the same just so that I could prepare myself. Thorin even played the harp before I fell asleep. When he got into bed, I was pulled close and he continued to hum for me, and soon my body relaxed in sleep.

Review :)

Misty, as always thank you! Ha, I'm getting pretty smitten myself with Thane, he's turning into a wonderful character!