"Sorted Too Young"
Dumbledore tells Snape, "Sometimes, Snape, I think we sort them too young."
CHAPTER 22 – REPERCUSSIONS
War? No, not really, just a battle… ugly and terrifying and like any battle, over quickly leaving people to pick up the pieces and pray for the dead. Battlefields all looked the same. Ron and Harry walked to the floo and waited. Only then did Hermione and Draco apparate there together. They took the floo back to Grimauld Place.
Draco took two steps in, his limp so bad he looked stilted. He sat on the first closest thing to him, to ottoman. His breathing was still tense and strained. His eyes seemed distant. No expression at all showing in his features. One hand lay limp in his lap and the other shook a little on the handle of his cane. He face out the window as the others sorted themselves out. He didn't even notice someone taking his cane from him.
He didn't hear his name spoken either, not till the third or fourth time. It took every effort not to let the rattling in his soul shake through the whole of his body. "I'm fine." The words seemed foreign in his ears, even though he spoke them as if they came from someone else.
"I didn't ask." Hermione tilted his chin to look better at the scrape over his cheek. She studied it critically and asked one of the others to get her something to clean it with and the healing salve. She studied his eyes too just as critically. She could feel him shivering. Her eyes flicked to Harry.
"Shock?" he whispered. And fetched some blankets at her nod.
Ron brought in the medical supplies, "How can he be in shock? He was incredible out there! I have never seen anyone fight like that. Damn. Blood cool. Bloody scary. Glad we never actually had to fight him."
"He is a master at duelling, Ron," declared Harry, "So you shouldn't be so surprised." Harry draped a couple blankets around Draco.
Hermione washed the scape and dabbed salve into it. "Where are you Draco?" she whispered to him as she tended his wound. "What are you thinking and seeing?" She carefully checked to see if he obtained any other injuries, relieved when she found none. Concerned that his belt was undone and from what she saw of Lucius, hand in Draco's pants, was ever so glad for her intrusion.
She almost jumped when he caught her hand. "Owe." She apologized and dabbed the scrape more gently. Harry brought out the chess board for him and Ron. It would offer a distraction to calm everyone's nerves.
Hermione left to return with tea. She patted Ron on the shoulder, "You don't get out of new clothes, eh? You come with me tomorrow and we'll find you something."
Ron moaned and whined. When harry cheered for the distraction and took one of Ron's knight pieces, Hermione smiled mischievously. Ron redoubled his focus on the game.
As dinner approached, Hermione checked on Draco often. His shivering had abated, but he still refused to speak. He had sipped his tea, which was reassuring. She knew he was scrambling for either memories or clues or some scrap of knowledge in his mind just by the way his eyes flicked without looking at anything in particular. They searched his mind's chalkboard. She wished he would speak. She might be able to help.
Harry made some basic mac and cheese for everyone. They ate in the sitting room instead of the dining room. This way Draco didn't have to move and Ron could beat the stuffing out of Harry again at chess.
A few hours later, Draco made his slow way up to his room. He tried to banish the feel of his father's hands upon him. He tried to understand the attack. He tried to figure out why his father could not enter and what key he could be referring to. The thoughts had been swirling in his mind all evening. Burying himself under his blanket did not help. His dreams were even troubled with the anxiety, violation, and puzzles before him.
Downstairs, Harry and Ron and Hermione now discussed what happened in Diagon Alley. Hermione had missed the first part of the fighting. The other two had missed what she interrupted. Harry pursed his lips when she described it. How Lucius had Draco pinned without the cane against the wall. How Lucius had a hand in Draco's pants right there in the alley! How humiliated Draco must have been staring out at all the people while his father did this but knowing they could not see him through the spells. Ron needled her for how she knew where to find Draco, since there were hiding spells over the little alcove. She shrugged. "Womanly instinct? I had this…. Feeling… like a tug that he was scared in that place. Then I felt the spell when I stood at its threshold and banished it."
Ron shook his head and returned home to make sure his mum knew he was fine and alive. He would get smothered with hugs by her, even though he had messaged her as soon as he got to Grimauld Place. Hermione extracted a promise out of him to show by lunch so they could go shop for something fancy to wear.
That night, Draco had the hardest time getting to sleep. "Containum. Containum. Containum." He cast the charms over three glass sconce covers and put them into place. He tried not to think about the dark curses he cast earlier, or the blood he drew with those curses. It had come so easily and at the same time sickened him. His father had poisoned his soul. Draco wanted suddenly to smash the glass covers into tiny shards. He drew a shaky breath a few times till he calmed, then cast the little flame spells into the sconces, "Flamis eternis. Flamis eternis. Flamis eternise." Room lit, he felt he could sleep now. The shadows were essentially all banished by the gentle warm glow.
In the night, Harry was restless. The event of the day bothered him and he wanted to make sure everything was ok and everything was secure. He contacted the ministry and asked if someone can come by in a day or two to talk to him about what happened. An auror was assigned to visit next Monday. Right now, they were busy, but Harry could be sure all was fine. An auror would stop by Grimauld place very briefly to help reinforce the protections upon the house, just in case Lucius made a try for Draco directly there. An auror was already assigned undercover to watch the house. That reassured Harry, especially in the quiet of 2:00am.
He poured himself some cold tea and charmed it warm before returning upstairs with it. Noises could be heard from Draco's room. Worried that maybe their measures of protection were not enough, Harry put down his tea on the floor beside the door and drew his wand. Cautiously, he opened Draco's bedroom door. Draco thrashed and whimpered and pleaded in his sleep. Frowning, Harry entered the room. Draco curled in on himself and whimpered again, back to Harry and oblivious to the concerned intruder. The blankets had been almost completely kicked off in Draco's distress. Harry reached over and rubbed the back of Draco's shoulder to wake him.
Heart stopping shock woke Draco. Lucius was in his room cuing him to stay on his belly so he could have his way. Draco refused. Draco panicked. Draco yelled and rolled away. "No! No! No no no… don't… please… no… don't touch me!" He rolled off the bed and scrabbled back till his back was firmly pressed into a corner, protected from bodily invasion. His arms rose in front of his face and crossed like a defensive shield for he didn't have enough sense to grab his wand. He cringed expecting angry blows and hexes for his defiance.
Harry tensed. He wondered if this is how he looked in the shower when Oliver Wood had startled him when he was having memory/experience issues. The locker room was empty save for them and Oliver backed up a little then sat there in the wet shower across from a terrified Harry. Just sat and waited till Harry came to the realization himself that no attack, no unauthorized touching, no raping would happen. Harry decided to do as Oliver did, but he added a few words that he wished had been spoken to him to help. "Draco. Draco. It's me, Harry Potter." He came around the bed and sat a couple arms lengths in front of Draco on the bedroom floor. "I won't touch you. No one is going to touch you. Not here. Not on my watch. I'll just sit here till you feel ready to talk."
That last Oliver had said to Harry. The conversation Harry and Oliver had in the hours that had followed helped more than Harry could have expected. Oliver was understanding, patient, listened. Oliver was also homosexual, so he could discuss the rights and wrongs associated with same sex activities, as well as offer support and help. Oliver was also not part of Harry's close friends, so it just seemed easier to talk to him. He did want his friends looking at him funny or with sympathy. This was Harry's plan for Draco now. He wanted to carry forward the aid that had been given him.
Harry sat and waited. It took Draco almost an hour to calm and sort his dreams from reality, sort the past from the present, sort out where he actually was and why. It took him time to relax enough to stop shaking and lower his arms to see Harry still sitting there. "It's just me, Draco. Just Harry. You are in Grimauld Place. No one will come in if you don't want." Draco shook his head and Harry went to lock the door. Hermione was sitting in the hall with Harry's tea, sipping it. They exchanged concerned looks but seemed to understand the line here. She returned to her bed. Tonight, Harry would handle things.
Draco's face contorted and he buried it in his hands as harry retook the safely distant spot he'd sat earlier. Draco drew up his knees and Harry remained there, comforting as a patient presence that would not advance, not unless Draco asked. Then, as Harry expected, little by little came the confessions, came the feelings and hurt experiences. They were broken and choppy at first, just snippets till Draco found he could not stop, needed to tell someone, tell this person in front of him everything, all the horribly things his father had done to him. Draco wasn't even sure they were wrong, believing he deserved punishment, partially believing that they were done to vanquish his weaknesses, teach him to be strong. "Harry, he touched me… he touched me. He was… inside me. Even in my head…"
That Harry was grateful Dudley could not do. But then, Voldemort did all the time.
"Why?" That Harry could not answer. Why did people do things like this? After a moment, Harry did have an answer. Power. They did it for control and power over someone they felt might one day overpower them. This was a way to ensure they never did. In the end, Draco felt empty, a hollow shell, naked. He felt filthy, worse. "Merlin," he mumbled through his hands, "part of me… part of me…"
"Liked it? And at the same time scares you so much you are afraid you really can't do anything because you don't really know who or what you are." Harry finished for him. "I know. That is the part that upsets you the most." Harry watched the blond head nod, face still hidden in his hands. "Draco, it doesn't mean you are a fag. You have to find guys exciting for that to be a truth. And if you are, there is nothing wrong with that either. So long as you never do what your father did. So long as it is never against someone's will. That is the worst, he violated your trust and stamped all over will. Now you have these… thoughts and memories of experiences that are so awful and all you wish is that the experiences would make sense or go away."
Draco looked at Harry for the first time and nodded.
"I've been there, Draco. They never make sense and they never go away. But time softens the blow. And sometimes, you can find ways to change the experience and create more positive memories from the experiences, if only to undermine the power they had over you." Harry stood, knowing Draco was ready to deal with his issues now of this, now that he had let it out and talked to someone.
"You offering to bugger me, Potter? I didn't think you were a fag." Draco's defenses were coming back up. Yes, Draco was read to deal with his issues again. There was no spite in his words though. He had after all been the first to acknowledge that homosexuals were necessarily bad people.
"I am not a fag. I definitely prefer women to men. And I would never force an issue or violate another. But yes, the offer is there. I doubt anyone else would be willing to make the offer to you and Oliver Wood is not here to help you are teach you anything as he did me. Oh… and no, I have never beggared anyone, so if you seek me out, accept that. However, I do know a few tricks I doubt Lucius would ever expect… even the Lucius in your head." And like Oliver had done to him, Harry left Draco with those thoughts. If Draco wanted to make the experience have different meaning, the option was there. Harry would never offer again. As it was, Harry could not believe he had the courage to offer it at all. What Oliver did for Harry was because Oliver preferred men to women and knew what he was doing. Oliver gave power back to Harry that Dudley had taken. Harry only wanted to try to do the same for Draco, if for no other reason than to undermine Lucius. If Lucius ever had Draco pinned like that again, Harry hoped that Draco would no longer be paralyzed with fear.
The sun was rising and a thin beam shone through the crack in the curtain of Draco's bedroom. Draco crawled back into bed and fell asleep thinking about all that Harry had said. He slept right through breakfast. Almost slept through lunch. Harry was talking with the auror guarding the house when Draco came down for food. Hermione had dragged Ron off shopping for fancy dress robes.
Draco had almost forgot. He decided that no matter what his father had done to him, he would not give in and be controlled by fear. A little of Harry's advice wiggling in his mind. He made a small change of his plans for the fancy dinner. He really wasn't ready to have a dinner at a dining table anyways. It reminded him of other nightmares he wasn't quite ready to face yet.
He would not cower in the house after an attack. That is exactly what his father would hope and expect. Nor would he run out to the manor to see about this mysterious key, either. He didn't need to give away the item to his father who must surely be spying. He would do nothing. He would go about his days like his father never showed up. Draco knew his father well enough to know that being ignored was the greatest of insults. It said he was worthless and ineffectual. Draco could fuss over the mysterious key later, although he had a suspicion already, the way his father inspected each hand. Lucius was searching for the ancient family ring that had gone missing when Draco's grandfather died.
Dinner, at the finest restaurant in England it will be… just to spite Lucius. He sat in the main sitting room and tossed a little floo powered in the fireplace to make a call and thus a reservation for four. "Le Gavroche, 43 Upper Brook Street, London. Michel Roux." When the owner greeted him, there was a moment's pause, then he recognized the boy Narcissa had brought many years ago. They exchanged pleasantries and condolences. "Je veux une table pour quatre, s'il vous plait, au nom de Draco Malfoy. Mes amis sont Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, et Ronald Weasley. Nous viendrons à dix-huit heures." He spent twenty minutes practicing that before he called. It had been a while since he used his French and decided it was important to practice.
Draco vowed to enjoy himself, in spite of his sadistic father.
A/N: No… this is not a harry x draco story… but who knows, I might toss a little in for those who ship that way. Or… hmmmm… maybe even a threesome? Later maybe. First to explore Le Gavroche online as much as I can, since I can't just hop over from Montreal (Canada) to explore it. If a reader is reading from London and wants to tell me about it, I would LOVE to hear what they have to offer on one of the most expensive restaurants in London (approx.. 95-110 per meal per person… before bottles of fine wine).
A/N: TRANSLATION: "Je veux une table pour quatre, s'il vous plait, au nom de Draco Malfoy. Mes amis sont Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, et Ronald Weasley. Nous viendrons à dix-huit heures."
"I want a table for four, please, under the name of Draco Malfoy. My friends are Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and ronald Weasley. We will be arriving at 6:00pm."