Hope y'all enjoy this new chapter. Italicized text is a flashback! Please comment, review, give opinions, notes,etc. I love ALL feedback. I hope you like this chapter as much as me! ChowXOXO
No matter how hard he tried, Derek couldn't stop thinking about her. He missed her eyes, her voice, and most of all, he missed her smile. Her rare, hard to find, beautiful smile that only he saw.
It had been three days since the big fight.
Three days without talking.
Three days without any jokes.
Three days without any kisses goodbye.
Three days without Meredith.
And it was three days too many for Derek.
He thought of all these things s he laid in Mark's spare bedroom. He repositioned himself on the satin sheets for the umpteenth time that night. Derek had just recently found out that he cannot sleep without Meredith in his bed. He had bags under his eyes, and his face was messy and unshaven.
He thought of the fight that they had had three days ago.
"I want to adopt Natalie." He told her, his heart racing with anxiety. Meredith was like a baby deer, she has to approach you, if you approach her, she'll spook. Derek didn't know if she was ready to take this step, but she was never ready for anything. He practically had to force her to get married.
"Wait, what?" Her mouth was open and her eyes were huge. She was trembling where she stood.
"I want to adopt her, Meredith." He said with an extremely serious tone to his voice.
Meredith stood there, staring into space. She was like a powder cake, ready to explode. She always exploded in these situations. The problem was, Derek never knew when she would go off.
Apparently, she was going to go off now.
They had run into each other at the hospital a few times, each time they quickly looked down to avoid eye contact and walked away from each other. One time that were both assigned to the same case, and Meredith had switched with Jackson. The most awkward moment was when the two were stuck alone in the elevator together, without speaking. That was hard.
He regretted springing the adoption thing on Meredith. However, he did not regret wanting to adopt Natalie. That poor girl deserved a family that would and could care for her. He knew that he and Meredith, or at least he, could do that.
His eyes wandered over to the small clock on the bedside table. 5:07 it read. Uuugh. He thought. Even though it was an hour before he was supposed to be at the hospital, he decided to get ready anyway.
The neurosurgeon rolled out of Mark's spare bed. He walked over to his bag and dug around until he found a clean shirt and jeans. The shirt was dark red with gray cuffs, the same shirt he had worn when he first met Meredith. He brought it close to his nose. It smelled like his wife's perfume. Why did everything he own remind him of her!
The soft cotton fabric was soft on his bare skin as he pulled the shirt on, trying to ignore the perfume. He pulled on his jeans and dug around once more for a pair of socks. He unbaked the and pulled them over his feet. Last to go on we're his shoes.
Eyeing his shoes, he noticed they were the pair that Meredith had given for his birthday. Aaagh!
"What the hell Derek? I'm 28! 28! Do you think I'm ready to have a 12 year old daughter?" Meredith yelled at him, her eyes ablaze. "I want a baby, not a broken teenager!"
"Don't call her broken." Derek yelled back, his volume matching hers. He was sure everyone outside could hear them, but he didn't care.
"But that's what she is!" Meredith spat back. "Think about it. She has one, one, leg. Her brain is open to the air. She had to have a kidney removed, not to mention the emotional trauma you get from being hit by a truck. Face it Derek, she's broken." Derek felt hot tears of anger rolling down his face.
"But that's why I think she would be good with us!"
"What?"
"Just think about it. She'll be at school the whole day. There is a bus stop down the street from our house. She can take care of herself until we get home!" He tried to reason with her, but he could tell Meredith wasn't having it.
"She only has one leg! She can't get around with only one leg! And.." She stopped Defek before he could interrupt her. "Even if she gets a prosthetic, what's to say she couldn't slip and fall, and not be able to get back up. What if she needs to go to the hospital, but she can't drive?"
Derek refused to give in.
"Meredith, have you ever realized how many people live in our house? There is always someone at home. Always." His voice was getting louder as his emotions got wilder.
"Having a kid takes work! Money!" She spat back.
"Meredith, I make about a million dollars a year. Money is not an issue."
"That's not the point! I still don't want to do it Derek.." She screamed. Now he was sure that the whole hospital could hear them.
"Well I want to." Derek was just pissed now. Meredith never put anybody else's feelings into the equation. She just did what wanted without caring about the effects.
"Oh. So now you're all powerful? All that matters is what you want to do? I hate to break it to you, but a marriage involves two people." Now Meredith had a different tone to her voice. It wasn't anger, it was hurt. She was hurt by what he said, and he could see it in her eyes.
"That's not what I meant and you know it." His voice had an apologetic note to it. He reached for her trembling hands, but she quickly pulled it away.
"Why are you so attached to this girl? Why do you want to adopt her?" Meredith asked him this question as tears welled in her eyes, her whole body trembling.
Derek took a deep breath and tried to speak, but the words formed in a clump in his throat and nothing came out. He swallowed and tried again.
"The reason I want to adopt her, out of all people, is because, she reminds me of you, Meredith." He looked straight into her eyes as they got wide with shock.
"What? What?" She jabbered, obviously confused by this.
"What I mean is, she's a fighter, like you. She's stubborn, feisty, and funny as hell. And, just like you, she went through hell, absolute living hell, and came out the other side. Just like you." He gave her a soft smile and looked into her eyes again, this time searching them for an answer. Her eyes were scared as if she didn't know what to say.
"I, I, I just don't know." Meredith's voice was shaky and her eyes were still huge. They flickered around the room, looking anywhere but Derek's piercing gaze."I need to get back to ." She said quickly, gathering himself. "I need some time." She whispered as opened the door.
"I'll give you as much time as you need." He whispered back, aware that people were in the hallway listening to them. She closed the door and Derek was left alone in the dark, empty room.
Derek remembered every detail of that fight, from Meredith's perfume to the way she looked at him when he suggested adoption.
He ate breakfast, cereal, as quietly as he possibly could. He didn't want to wake Mark, who had just finished a long shift. He put the empty bowl in the dishwasher and slipped out the door, careful to lock it behind him.
He wanted to talk to Meredith. He wanted nothing more than to grab her and kiss her and let her know that he truly cares about her. But he couldn't.
She needed to get over her insecurities. She needed to understand that Derek was in that place, he was ready. Derek wondered that, if she wasn't ready to have a family, maybe she would never be ready. Derek was absolutely ready. He couldn't wait forever.
He got in his car and drove down the street towards the hospital. Mark's place was only about a block from the hospital, but it was too cold to walk. Ice covered car and shop windows and a thick layer of snow coated the frozen ground, slowing gaining height.
The car slipped and slid on the ice that covered the whole road. No wonder that semi that hit Natalie spun off the road. In this weather, anybody could. He saw tire tracks on the sidewalk and a completely destroyed tree, and he knew that this was the place the semi sound off the road. He drove by this spot everyday, and, no matter how many times he did it, it still made him terribly uncomfortable and gave him a newfound respect for the brave girl.
Natalie was doing well. Derek had only gone to see her once in the past three days. It was too hard to talk to her without crying. She was still getting used to having only one leg, but Derek knew that she would be okay. She told him stories about her time on the streets and about how drunk people are very generous. Her shoulder was healing nicely, but she was going to have terrible scars all over her body, that was certain. The swelling in her brain has gone down, and they would be able to perform the surgery in the next week or so, a fact the Derek was very happy about.
It was obvious that people noticed the awkwardness between him and Meredith. Some people had tried to ask them about it, but quickly realized that their attempts were futile, and gave up. Most people just ignored the couple and Dr. Bailey yelled at them separately about their problems. But, in general, most people were too occupied with their own problems to care about them.
Derek parked his car in his normal spot and sprinted into the hospital.
It was still dark and most of the patients were still asleep, except for Natalie.
Natalie was always wide awake, watching TV in her room.
Derek knew that it would be hard, but he had to talk to her. He just had to.
He walked down the hallway past the lobby, and the burn unit, al the way to the post op rooms. She was supposed to be in Peds, but there were no empty beds, so she just stayed in post op. Just as he suspected, Natalie was wide awake in her room, watching the TV. She caught sight of him in the hallway, and flashed him a small smile. He returned the smile and opened her door.
"Hey Nat." He said.
"Hello there . In early this morning I see." She muted the television with the little remote
"I couldn't sleep. And I know that you never can, so I decided to come and talk to one of my favorite patients." He explained to the girl.
"Not just one of, your absolute most favorite patient of all time." She corrected him in a matter-of-fact tone, playfulness blazing in her eyes. For a girl with one leg and no family, she was very positive.
"I guess you're right." He smiled. "How are you feeling?" He said with a more serious tone looking at her face.
"I'm fine." She looked at him and saw that he did not believe her. "I'm serious Derek. I am okay. The pain is manageable with medication and, I'll learn to live with one leg. I thought people were sympathetic towards homeless kids, imagine how sympathetic they'll be towards a homeless kid with only one leg!"
She always found a way to make light of a serious situation.
"So I have a question for you." He told her. "Where do you go to school?" He seriously wanted to know. He wanted to know as much about his girl as he could.
The smile wiped off her face.
"Well, uh" she started. "Until about a year ago, I went to Seattle Public Jr High."
"You were in Jr. High, at age ten?"Derek interrupted her.
"I was bumped up two grades." She pointed at her head. "I have a photographic memory. So, as I was saying, I went to Seattle Public Jr. High. Then, when I finally ran away, I stopped going to school. I learned all I needed to know at the Library." She paused for a minute.
"I did that until the woman who worked there, Judy, noticed that I was there during school. I told her my story, and she took me under her wing. She understood my feeling. She was a foster kid too. She set me up with an online school on there computer in the basement. I've been going there for a year."
"That's different." Derek honestly didn't know what to say to that. He wasn't used to situations like that. He stared off into space thinking about Natalie.
"Hey Derek." Natalie broke him out of his trance.
"Uh?" He grunted, refocusing his gaze on the girl.
"I think someone wants to talk to you." She pointed at a person on the other side of the window. Derek turned and looked at the figure outside in the hallway. It was a beautiful, tiny blonde woman. His perfect, tiny, blonde woman. His wife, his Meredith, waving him into the hall.
He looked at Natalie and she motioned for him to leave. She had also noticed the animosity between them. Derek gave her a pat on the uninjured shoulder and walk-ran out of the room.
"What?" He asked his wife.
"I took some time to think about it." She said.
"So have I." He said quickly. "You don't have to do it if you don't want to. I promise."
She laughed lightly.
"That's just the thing, Derek." She cooed gently. "I thought about it, and I realized all that you said was true. I came to my senses. Let's adopt her." She had one of the biggest smiles Derek had ever seen on her face. He matched it with full force.
"So, we're really going to adopt her?" He asked.
"Yes we are."