Prompt: Dean Winchester - "I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. Y'know, I let Dad down, and now I guess I'm just supposed to let you down, too. How can I? How am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do?" - 'Supernatural'
After Kurt was out of sight, I finally left his locker and headed for my own. As I did, I couldn't shake the feeling that once again I was letting people down. It wasn't just Kurt, though that was weighing heaviest on me right now.
However, as I thought about my actions over the last few months I found myself wondering what my father would think of me right about now. As he had joined the army to protect our nation, I was sure he would expect me to stand up for those weaker or less fortunate than me. The fact that I had ever been a part of the bullying Kurt had to put up with would probably not have sit well with him, let alone ignoring what was going on now. I was sure that my father would be just as disappointed in me as Burt clearly was. As Burt was the closest thing to a father that I was ever going to know, I wanted his approval as much as I wanted my mother. As I had in the spring, my lack of action had clearly only invoked his disapproval.
As for my mother, she had shown her disappointment before in my actions, back when I got caught throwing the pee balloons. Though she hadn't said anything at dinner last night, I still felt as if she was looking at me differently. Felt as if I had let her down by not being the person she thought I was.
Then there was my girlfriend. Rachel had been vocal in her disappointment of my refusal to stand up for Kurt. She had made her thoughts and feelings clear on the subject. Even now that I could see the error of my ways, I'm sure she would think that it was too little, too late.
Even my fellow Glee Club members were disappointed in me. I could very clearly here Mercedes accusation in my mind. Could feel the stares of every person in that room as they discussed the situation. I couldn't even blame them for their condemnation of my actions. I was supposed to be the leader of Glee Club but I had failed in that this time.
In my strive for popularity at school, I was falling short of the expectations of the people who were important in my life. If that was the cost of popularity, I was no longer sure I wanted it. I hated this feeling but apparently letting down the people closest to me was something I was good at.