I have some serious writer's block. Please, o,ease, please help me! Give me ideas, or I will not be able to write anymore. I don't care how dumb you think they are. I like them all! Please review, comment, and give me help! Lots of Love, Olivia
Derek's nerves were out of control. He couldn't really think right now, and he couldn't really feel his hands. Of course, though, he was a neurosurgeon, and he knew that his nerves were running in the exact order that they were intended to. But, it sure felt like they were out of control.
He was about to have one of the most important conversations of his life, and he was not sure if he was ready to do it. Hell, he wasn't sure if he would ever be ready for it.
Derek was waiting for Meredith to be done with her shift. She was in the middle of a splenectomy. They had decided to have the conversation an hour ago, but Derek was sure that Meredith had joined the case just to postpone us.
Derek's hands were trembling. He paced back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, in the attending's lounge, working up the courage to have the conversation. He didn't know why he was so nervous, he just was.
Mark just sat and watched his best friend slowly unravel, a hint of amusement in his eyes.
"Calm down, man. It's going to be fine." Mark tried to reassure him, but he was failing, miserably.. "I bet you weren't this nervous when you told everyone else." Derek let out a husky laugh and rolled his eyes at his friend.
By now, most of the hospital knew that he and Meredith wanted to adopt Natalie. No surprise there. Big news, secrets, embarrassing stories, things like that, never stayed quiet for long. Even though Lexi hadn't told anyone, Mark, on the other hand, hadn't been quite as silent,
It had been three weeks ago that he had decided to tell Mark about the adoption. And then, not even ten minutes later, Derek had found him gossiping about it to Callie. Callie, then, proceeded to tell Arizona. Arizona then told Teddy. And then, Teddy told Owen. Owen, well, who the hell knows who Owen told. A few days later, every single person in the hospital knew about the adoption. Everyone. Even a patient in the maternity ward congratulated Meredith while she was on the OB rotation.
Let's just say, news travels fast.
Now the only person they needed to tell was Natalie herself.
Which brought Derek back to why he was so nervous in the first place.
Everyone had been extremely supportive when they had heard the news. Although, most people had been completely shocked, and Derek couldn't blame them. He and Meredith didn't really fit the adoptive parent stereotype.
"Easy for you to say, you're not the one who's trying to adopt a child." Derek shot back at him. Mark gave him a knowing nod and chuckled.
"And," Derek added with another thought. "You already have a kid. Even if you couldn't adopt, you'd still have one."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a minute there." Mark stopped him, his eyes wide. "I have a twenty year old daughter, who also has her own kid. I wasn't there for any of her life, and probably won't be there for any more of it. What you he want and what I have, not the same thing." He made a point to emphasize the word not. "Not the same thing at all."
Derek instantly regretted his statement. He knew that Mark was always very touchy in the subject of Sloan. Before she came, Mark's life had been great. He had had a great job, great friends, and Lexi. Then, one day, Sloan walked into his life. Within a matter of months, Mark had lost his daughter, his grandson, and most importantly, Lexi.
He never liked to talk about it.
"Sorry man. I didn't mean it." Derek apologized.
"It's fine." Mark said coolly. "I get what you're saying. But listen to me, you don't have to be so nervous. What's the worst that could happen?"
"She could say no." Derek looked at his feet. Mark laughed.
"That's what you're worried about? Seriously? What do you think is going to happen? 'Hi Natalie. I'm a millionaire world class neurosurgeon and my wife is a hot general surgeon. We would like to adopt you. That's okay right?' 'No thank you. I'd rather go back to living outside of bars, mooching off drunk people.'"
"This is serious." Derek tried to keep a straight face, but he couldn't mask the small smile growing on his lips.
Just then, Meredith walked in. Her hands were trembling, just like Derek's, but there was something odd about her. She had a glow of confidence around her. Meredith was never confident.
Ever.
Derek wondered why this case was different.
"You ready?" She glanced at him.
Derek shot a look at Mark. He did have a point, he thought. What was Natalie going to say? No?
That's not what Derek was afraid of though. He was afraid that she would say yes out of obligation, not out of true choice. The idea of almost holding someone against their will, that idea scared the hell out of him.
"I guess so." He choked out, his worries playing over and over in his head, like a broken record. It was now or never, he thought.
Meredith extended a hand. "Then let's go." She smiled. He took her hand gently and she led him out into the hall. Meredith had never been the bold one of the couple, but today, it was all her. Derek was cowering behind his wife like a scared child behind it's mother's legs.
The attending's lounge was only down the hall from Natalie's room, so Derek wasn't given much time to compose himself, before he found himself outside of Natalie's door.
The girl was watching a movie on the television. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Derek recognized. She was going to fit in well in their family. She didn't seem to optics the duo outside of her door, so she continued with her movie. Derek and Meredith stood there for a few minutes, watching her yell things at the characters.
"What's it matter? You're both gonna die!" She yelled at a cowboy who had just stolen some money.
"Are you sure that you are ready?" Meredith asked him gently, laying her head on his shoulder. She snuggled close to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He could feel her warm breath on his skin, and he could sense her steady heartbeat. This comforted Derek slightly, and he allowed himself to relax. Everything is going to be okay. He thought calmly. He lifted his wife's chi off of his shoulder and kissed her slowly. They had a few moments of bliss before..
"Get a room, you two. And, preferably not one next to mine."
It seems that Natalie had finally noticed them.
Meredith and Derek stayed lip lockers for a few more moments, drinking in every detail they could, before Natalie spoke up again.
"Are you to going to make out in the hallway all day, because if you are,I'm going to pull my blinds down."
Meredith began to pull away from Derek, mainly because she was laughing so hard. Derek shook lightly with laughter to. He was right. Natalie would definitely fit in well with them.
"Sorry Nat." He turned a gave the girl a large smile. She grinned back brushing a stray brown hair away from her eyes. "But I just can't help myself sometimes." She laughed as he kissed Meredith once more, before finally letting her go.
"Trust me Dere. Everybody knows that. I mean everybody."
Meredith rolled her eyes as she pulled open the door and quietly stepped inside. Derek took a deep breath. He was starting a family, right here, right now. There was no going back. He was tempted to run, to go back to the lounge and sleep off his troubles. But, Meredith seemed to sense his apprehension, because slowly, her gray eyes made contact with his, and she grasped his hand firmly and pulled him into the room.
Damn, she was strong.
"So, what are you guys doing here, aside from making out?" She raised an eyebrow at them questioningly. There was a hint of amusement in her voice. She pulled up her legs, allowing room for Meredith to sit by her.
Over the past three weeks, Meredith and Natalie had gotten extremely close. Derek ventured to guess that it was probably because of their multiple near-death experiences they both faced. But then again, that was just his opinion.
The two had been hanging out every spare minute the Meredith had to spare. They would hang out with one another in Natalie's room. They would talk, laugh, joke, and tell each other stories. Meredith, from these hang outs, learned many things about Natalie, including her age and her the stories of her life on the street. She turns 12 soon.
Natalie's wounds had been healing nicely. She was still unable to get up, her inside wounds were not fully healed yet. She had been dealing quite nicely for someone who had lost a leg. Her brain swelling had gone down, and Derek would soon be able to sew her skull back on.
She had become very good friends with the hospital personnel. She was particularly close to Lexie and April. The two often ate their lunch with the girl in her bedroom. She and Lexie both had photographic memories. And Natalie and April, they had a bond that couldn't be explained. The two seemed to have a bond, an unspoken bond. Maybe when someone saves your life, you develop some relationship. Derek didn't really know.
Meredith reached out a hand and tucked the strand of hair behind her ear. She dragged her thumb across the top of Natalie's cheek and poked her gently on the nose.
"We want to talk to you about something." Meredith told her sincerely. She tilted Natalie's head up and the two made eye contact for a moment.
"Okay." Natalie said, pulling her face away from Meredith, her eyes full of concern. "It sounds serious. What is it?"
Meredith turned to Derek. She gave him a pointed glance and jerked her head slightly towards Natalie. Derek looked at his wife, dumbfounded. What was she getting at? He thought. She new that he wasn't good at reading people.
Meredith cleared her throat loudly, startling Derek out of his trance. She gestured once again towards the girl, this time more obviously. Natalie even picked up on this faster than he did.
"Dude. She's trying to get me to tell you something." Natalie told him slowly, adding hand gestures for dramatic effect.
"Oh. Right." Derek finally got it.
Derek stood up straight. He put his hand on Meredith's shoulder, for literal and moral support. Derek swallowed and steadied his breath. This was a moment that was going to change his life forever.
He stared directly at Natalie.
"Natalie, we've heard your story. We've heard about the foster homes, and you living in the street. And," he shot a glance at Meredith. She gave him a gentle smile. Meredith placed her hand on top of his, and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"We don't think that you should have to go back to that." She told Natalie, who looked extremely confused.
Now Natalie was the slow one.
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"What I mean is, Natalie," he swallowed one last time. "Meredith and I would like to adopt you."
She looked at him with utter shock.
"That is not what I expected."