It was five days before Loki saw anyone again – other than the guards who watched at a distance and kept him fed through a slot in the door. Five days of monotonous solitude.

He supposed it was better than being chained to a rock and tortured, but who knew what sort of punishment the Allfather would eventually settle on. And all for doing no more than what Thor had done countless times – assert his superiority over inferior beings. Was that not what Loki had been taught to see as strength in their culture? Yes, their culture, he thought. Not truly yours.

He had also been taught to see the people of Jotunheim – his people – as monstrous. And to what end? What possible other outcome could have come to pass once he found out his true nature?

Raised to hate what he really was – and then to be presented with a child he'd had no knowledge of not even a full day after returning "home" in defeat? A child that had looked exactly like the monsters he'd feared as a young boy? It had been overwhelming.

But Sigyn…Sigyn had held Ari without fear or shame. The love she had radiated for her son – their son – had been nearly palpable, almost frightening in its intensity. Was there any way she would look at him the same if he was able to show her his true form? He didn't dare to hope.

When Ari touched him, he felt the enchantment he was generating to maintain his appearance – and he understood at last that it was something he was doing to himself – fade away. Given time, he knew he would be able to manipulate it without help from an outside source. And what did he have now, but unlimited time?

On his third day alone, as he was lying in bed in the evening, he concentrated all of his efforts into the little magic that remained to him. For the first time in his life, he could really feel the tenuous links that kept his features as they were. Anyone watching would have thought him merely asleep, but his mind was as alert as it had ever been, weakening some areas and strengthening others – until he could feel the bed around him become warmer to his touch. He opened his eyes and raised his hand, saw the color changing to blue, the jotun markings coming to life…and panicked.

He concentrated once again, moving the bonds around in his mind, until he was back to the form he'd been raised with, the one he was most comfortable with – fearing he would never be able to change himself back if he let it go too far too soon. After spending his entire long life in one shape, it would take more practice before he felt comfortable shifting himself at will.

He just hoped it wouldn't be in vain, that he hadn't irreparably damaged his relationship with Sigyn to the point where she would never see him again anyway.

Midmorning on his fifth day back in Asgard, he received a visitor.

He had just been returned to his cell from the washroom, freshly showered and changed, when his mother arrived, bearing new books – and an offer.

"I thought you might appreciate some time out of this cell."

He looked at her skeptically. "Permanently?"

"It will be some time before you earn your freedom, Loki. But there's something you need to see, sooner rather than later."

Two guards replaced the shackles on his hands, and then accompanied Loki and Frigga to her personal chambers, before taking station outside her doors.

"I'm sorry for the bonds," she said, sadness in her voice. "It was the only way they would agree to free you, even temporarily."

"Why did you bring me here?"

"Sit," she said, pointing to two chairs in front of a large window overlooking her private gardens.

Grudgingly, he did as she asked, and she settled in next to him. "What am I watching?"

"Look closely."

He leaned forward, just as a figure stepped into his line of sight – Sigyn, holding Ari. Loki's breath caught in his throat.

As he watched, they made their way through the trees, following a butterfly as it flitted from flower to flower on the branches. At one point, the butterfly landed on Sigyn's outstretched hand, and Ari smiled a toothless grin before it flew away once again.

"She brings him here whenever she can," said Frigga. "In this garden, there are no restrictions on him. Ari can be exactly who he is with no fear. She says it's when she's happiest, when she's here with him."

Loki couldn't argue with her; he could almost feel Sigyn's joy as she looked at their son, even through the glass and at a distance – their blue-skinned, jotun son, who looked up at Sigyn as though she hung the very stars in the sky.

He swallowed thickly. I knew she would be a wonderful mother. He tore his gaze away for a moment, looking at Frigga. "Why are you showing me this?"

"So you can see for yourself how much she loves your son. Loki, Sigyn wants you to be a part of her life, of Ari's life. She wants you to be a family."

"Even now?"

"Even now. She still has faith in you – faith that at the very least, you can be a good father to Ari."

Well, that makes exactly one of us who feels that way.

"Don't make that face, Loki. I will concede that it might take some time, but your son needs you. And I believe you need him…and his mother."

He turned back to the window. "Does she know I'm watching?"

"No. This…this is how she behaves with no outside influence. She loves your son completely and unconditionally. One day, maybe you will as well."

Loki continued to look on in silent intensity, losing himself in the process. He didn't know how much time passed before Ari started to get restless, prompting Sigyn to sit with him to feed him. He watched in fascination as she nursed Ari, and though he couldn't hear her, he could tell she was singing to him, stroking his face as she did. At one time, Loki would have said he knew Sigyn's body better than anyone – probably better than even Sigyn herself – but after so long apart, watching her nurse their child struck him as terribly intimate, and he had to look away.

"This is all rather manipulative of you, mother."

"I'm merely trying to guide you, to try to help you find the path back home."

"I have no home. Not anymore."

"You mustn't say that. You will always have a home here. And a family."

Before Loki could respond, the guards returned back to the room, insisting that the prisoner had been gone from his cell too long.

"I'm sorry, Loki," said Frigga. "I'm sorrier than I could ever express for whatever part I played in getting you to this point. But please know, your happiness means more to me than even my own. I will do whatever I need to see a smile on your face again."

"Thank you, mother," he said, before the guards led him away. For everything.

He wrote Sigyn a note as soon as he was back in his cell.

I need to see you. Alone this time.

When she didn't come right away, he wrote again and again, variations of the same message, day after day until he had exhausted his supply of parchment.

Days passed, until it had been nearly two weeks since he'd last sent Sigyn a note, with nearly a month of persistent silence from her. He was beginning to fear that the notes had never been delivered at all, and that the silence would continue for eternity. He thought it was just as well; it was probably no more than he deserved.

He was sitting on his bed, trying to decide whether he wanted to lie down or read one of his books for the hundredth time, when he heard footfalls in the corridor. He didn't even bother to turn to them.

"It's a bit early for my evening rations, isn't it?"

Unexpectedly, it was a gentle, female voice that answered. "I wasn't told to bring anything."

He stood quickly, incredulous. "Sigyn?" She was standing just outside his cell, wringing her hands. She looked exhausted.

"I'm sorry. I would have come sooner, but I needed…I needed time."

"Our last meeting didn't go as well as one would have hoped."

"No, it didn't. You called our son a 'repulsive creature'. Now, unless that's some sort of Midgardian term of endearment of which I am unaware, I don't think you meant it kindly."

"Not my finest moment, assuredly." He stepped closer, slowly, as one would approach a skittish animal to prevent them bolting. "You must hate me."

She gave a short laugh, but her eyes were empty of humor. "Hating you would make things so much easier, wouldn't it? For both of us?"

He put his palm on the glass, and the hidden runes lit up beneath his false skin. She stepped forward, mirroring his action, placing her hand over his with the glass between. He could almost imagine her warmth.

"I'm angry with you, Loki, but anger is not the same as hate. I've never stopped loving you, not for one breath. You know, I think I've loved you since the day we met. I won't fool myself into believing you even remember it."

He furrowed his brow. "You think I don't remember?" He lowered his hand and stepped back from the glass, really taking her in. "You were outside my mother's chambers, looking at the tapestries that hang there. When I spoke to you, you looked me in the eye without fear and you spoke back with confidence. As I was leaving, I called you Sigrid, and you corrected me without hesitation. How could I ever forget?"

She smiled, a true smile this time, even if it was laced with sadness. "I just knew I had ruined any chance of being in your good graces."

"That boldness about you…it's probably what put you in my good graces to start with. Before I knew it, I found myself in my mother's chambers almost every day, on the pretense of visiting her…but really, to see you."

She tilted her head at his admission. "I had no idea. I thought you just really enjoyed spending time with your mother."

"I did, but I didn't fool her, not a bit. She knew what I was about." He sat on the footstool behind him. "She encouraged me, you know. Told me she approved of my courting you. And now, I can't help but wonder why."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, why? Why encourage me? Why lead me to think I could have a future with you, when she knew the truth?"

"I asked her that same question, you know. The day I found out I was expecting, your father-"

"Not my father."

She sighed. "Odin…he told me the truth of your lineage. Told me the child I carried was not what I thought it was." She started to tell him how Odin had strongly suggested she terminate the pregnancy, for her safety, but thought better of it. That was something they could discuss another time, when Loki's mental wounds weren't quite so fresh. "After, I asked your mother why she permitted our relationship at all, knowing the truth herself."

"And what did she say?"

"She said it was because I made you happy. That when the time came and the facts were revealed, she thought our love would be enough to sustain us. I told her it was a shame you didn't feel the same way."

He just stared at her, unable to respond.

"Loki, what really happened in the Observatory that night?"

"What were you told?"

"That the explosion was caused by a spell gone wrong. That Thor and Odin were unable to save you in the aftermath."

Loki lowered his head and stared at the floor for a beat before looking back up and into Sigyn's eyes. "They saved me. But I couldn't save myself. Everything I'd ever wanted – approval, respect, admiration, love – it all seemed so far from me, so unattainable in that moment. I gave up…and I let go."

She looked away, wiping a tear from her cheek. "I knew they were keeping something from me. Tell me," she said, meeting his gaze once again, "if we had known I was pregnant sooner, would things have been different?"

"I honestly don't know. Maybe. But we didn't, and now we're here."

She stepped closer to the glass, crouching down to look him in the eye. "What happened to you? Before Midgard?"

He put his head in his hands and remained quiet for so long she was certain he wasn't going to answer. When he raised his head again, his eyes were wet with tears. He looked at her, but through her, his gaze distant and haunted. "Terrible things, Sigyn. Violation. Pain. Suffering. I had no other option, but to do the things I did. My survival – your survival – depended on it. And I failed."

"But you survived. How is that failure?"

"Those creatures, they will find me again, and you by extension. You and everyone in Asgard are at risk because of me."

"When – if that time comes, we will face it together –"

"You don't understand! They have no mercy. And you – you don't deserve to suffer for a monster like me."

"You are not a monster, Loki –"

"Oh, but I am. Watch."

He raised himself up from the stool, standing perfectly still and closing his eyes. As Sigyn watched, she could see the pale skin of his arms, neck and face begin to transform into the dark blue of a jotun, the normally hidden markings that belied his true form becoming visible. When he opened his eyes again, they were no longer the green with which she was so familiar, but a vivid shade of red.

He came closer again, putting his fist on the glass. "Look at me. Look me in the eyes and tell me you love me as I truly am."

They stood that way for a time, the chasm between them immense and unforgiving, before she lowered her eyes and stepped away.

I knew it, he thought. You can love our child, but you can never love me, not the true me. He was just about to yell for her, to scream for her to never bother coming back, when he heard her voice again – this time by the cell door.

He turned to see her arguing with the guard. "I said, let me in with him."

"My lady, look at him. He'll kill you."

"He will do no such thing. Now open this door, or the next person you will be dealing with is the queen herself."

The guard hesitated. "How do I know you're not giving him a weapon of some sort?"

Sigyn held her arms out to the side, spinning in place. "Search me if you must, but if that door's not open in the next minute, I will not only get the queen, but Prince Thor as well."

The guard sighed, not making any move to touch her – likely put off by the look Loki was giving him, one that spoke volumes about exactly what he would do to the man if he even thought of putting his hands near her. "I'll not be held responsible for what happens –"

"Nothing is going to happen," said Sigyn. "Now let me in. Lock it behind me if you're afraid."

The guard slid his key into the lock, opening the door just enough for Sigyn to step in before bolting it again once she was inside. Loki was so nonplussed by the whole exchange, he realized too late that he hadn't reverted to his Aesir form. He stepped back as she moved closer.

"Stop running from me," she said, her voice firm.

She came closer, close enough to touch him, and he winced, closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to watch as she took him in.

"You don't frighten me, Loki," she said, and he felt her hand on his cheek, the heat in her skin nearly hot enough to burn. "I have looked upon a face exactly like this every day for nearly five months now, a face I've loved since I first laid eyes on it. A face that wouldn't exist without you. I love you, now and for eternity."

He opened his eyes and looked at her, and she stared back, not even flinching. "Your hair," she said, running her fingers through it. "It's so long."

He reached up, covering her hand with his. I stand before you like this, and all you can see is my hair? He'd been so long without a gentle touch or softly spoken word, it very nearly made his knees weak. He wanted to embrace her, to kiss her, but he was still too fragile, too fearful of rejection to even try.

It was as if she could feel his anxiety, and in response, she leaned up just enough to fleetingly touch her lips to his – it was the barest of kisses, hardly more than the tiniest press of warm flesh to cold, but it was enough to ignite a spark of hope inside him. Hope that he could come back from the brink, that the void hadn't claimed him forever. I love you, Sigyn, he thought, still unable to speak the words. Don't give up on me.

She leaned back. "I have to go. I'll come back when I can, if you'd like."

"Yes, I would like that."

She smiled up at him once more, before turning to leave.

"Wait," he said, before she got too far. "Give me your hand."

With what little magic he had left to him freed from maintaining his appearance, he placed his hand over hers, saying the necessary words to eliminate the enchantment keeping her wedding ring on her finger. "I know you haven't been able to remove it. Now you can."

She pulled her hand back and pushed the ring halfway up her finger, before she stopped. "Look," she said, holding her hand out to him. "Your name, it's in my skin." She pointed to where the engraving of his name on the inside of the ring had left its mark. "I'd like to keep it on," she continued, pushing the ring back down, "And maybe one day, if you'll still have me, you can wear yours as well."

She walked away before he could answer, the guard letting her out of the cell with a wary look. Loki watched her as she left, his heart lighter than it had been in ages.

It had been enormously difficult for Sigyn to answer Loki's incessant requests for a visit. She was devastated by his rejection of Ari upon their first meeting, to the point that she had accepted the fact that Loki – even miraculously returned from the dead – would never be a part of their lives. She didn't know what had finally prompted him to reach out to her, but she was happy he had, even if she'd still needed time to prepare herself to go back to him.

Of course, when she did go to him he'd tried to push her away yet again, swearing she couldn't possibly love him for what he really was. She'd done her best to comfort him – to convince him that her feelings for him were no different than they'd been before Thor's disastrous coronation – and it seemed she had actually been successful in her attempts. And for a time, she allowed herself to be hopeful for their future.

She visited him nearly every day, for short stays at first, but then for longer and longer periods of time. She began to bring her studies with her most days, delighting in discussing the other realms with him. He had many stories of his own to share, almost all of them involving adventures with his brother, and she loved to hear him tell them – to watch him as he spoke of happier times, the confines of his cell momentarily forgotten as he reminisced.

Sometimes she was accompanied by Frigga or Thor – and on the rare occasion, she even brought Ari with her. She never again took him into Loki's cell, but would instead sit as closely to the glass as possible, Loki just on the other side and right in Ari's line of sight.

Loki – having become more proficient at changing his appearance at will – would always wear his jotun skin when Ari was with her. He told Sigyn it was so Ari would be comfortable around him, but she knew it had more to do with Loki becoming comfortable with himself than anything. Whatever the reason, Sigyn would never forget the first time Ari smiled at his father – she hadn't seen Loki so happy since the first days of their relationship.

But as she would soon realize, belatedly and to her continued regret, nothing with Loki ever remained easy for long.

As the months passed, she began to bring Ari less frequently, until she eventually stopped bringing him at all. After the third week of Sigyn coming to visit him alone, Loki asked after him, wondering when he would see his son again.

"Right now, he's still too small to remember any of this, but he won't be for much longer. He's nearly a year old. I don't want his earliest memories of you to be unpleasant. Memories of you locked up in a cell or shackled."

"He'll be grown before I see the outside of this cell again."

"Maybe not. Opportunities are presenting themselves that may hasten the process."

"Opportunities? Like what?"

"With the return of the Tessaract, the repairs to the Bifröst have been completed ahead of schedule. Thor is planning a trip to Midgard within the next few weeks, as a sign of goodwill from our realm…and he has asked me to accompany him."

"What?! No – you can't do that," said Loki, jumping from his seat in such a rush he didn't even notice as his book clattered to the floor.

"This is what I've been studying for! Maybe, with my influence, I can help them understand why you did the things you did. Help them see that you're capable of good, that you can make reparations. I can't learn everything from a book – the only way I'll get a full education is to actually visit the other realms –"

"But Midgard? If you're in such a hurry to die, why not go to Jotunheim instead?"

She rolled her eyes in exasperation. "I'll be in no danger with Thor –"

"Thor?!" said Loki, his voice rising with every word. "As soon as those Midgardians figure out who you are, and your relationship to me, not even Thor would be able to protect you. No, Sigyn. I forbid it."

"You cannot forbid it, Loki. I'm going with or without your approval."

He picked his book up from the floor, flinging it across the room in a rage. She didn't even move, just waited patiently for him to calm down.

"If something happens to you, I won't survive it," he said, pacing around his cell and running his hands through his hair. "You would leave our son an orphan."

"I didn't think you would be happy with this, but I had hoped you wouldn't be so selfish. How foolish of me."

"You are a fool," he said, his anger getting the best of him. "You have been from the very beginning, getting involved with me."

"Perhaps I am. But I think we're far beyond turning back now."

He spun away from her, picked up another book, and threw it to join the first one.

"Are you quite finished? Throwing your books won't change my mind, Loki. When I come back –"

"If you come back."

"Is this how you wish for me to leave you – angry and sulking?"

"Can't you understand? I don't want you to leave me at all!" he cried, slapping his hand on the glass to emphasize his point.

"I didn't want you to leave me, and yet you did. And I survived. And even though I didn't think it possible, you returned to me. Just as I will return to you."

His hand slid down from where he had placed it, his skin squeaking on the surface. "Then go," he said, turning and flopping onto the bed.

"Will you not wish me safe travels?"

He shifted his body until he was completely facing away from her, making no move to acknowledge her continued presence before she finally gave up and walked away.

"How did it go?" asked Thor, when he saw her at dinner that evening. "Did he take the news well?"

"Everything's perfect," she said, without the slightest hint of irony. "I'm looking forward to meeting your friends."

A/N: As always, reviews/follows/favorites always welcome and appreciated. :)