Jane closed the back door behind her mother, then turned around and leaned against it, looking at Maura with wide eyes. "So I guess we don't have to worry about breaking the news to anyone."

Maura smiled and hung the tea towel up to dry. "We wouldn't have been able to hide it much longer anyway." She gestured toward Jane's midsection. "Even a small amount of weight gain is apparent on your frame."

Jane looked down and gave a little rub to the bump that made her normally loose-fitting jeans snug. "I know this sounds weird," she admitted, "but I kind of like it." Maura gave her a questioning look so she tried to explain, "It seems like every day there's something changing. It's small, but I can feel it growing every day. It's getting stronger. I'm not so tired all the time. It feels good. It's like... it's marking time for me. I have something to look forward to every day. And all I have to do is carry it around with me." She looked toward Maura for confirmation. "Is that crazy?"

"It's beautiful."

They just looked at each other for a moment. Maura, in her designer dress and heels, looked to Jane like the epitome of femininity. She was capable and put-together. Every strand of hair perfectly in place, every piece of her life neatly managed. She was so strong and independent, and she didn't even seem to know it. Jane admired her for the way she approached every problem methodically and confidently, learning as much as she could so that she would be able to anticipate and take on any challenge. It was as if nobody had ever told her she wouldn't be able to do something. She just went ahead and did it.

In Maura's eyes, Jane was comfort personified. She was loose-fitting jeans and stocking-feet, a safe harbor in a storm, and a mother's hug. Maura knew Jane could be mean, even violent when she wanted to be. That only made her nurturing side even more captivating. Every gentle touch from Jane, every hug, meant the world to Maura because she knew they were given willingly, despite Jane's effort to appear tough and aloof to others.

Maura was tired, and one of those hugs would be the perfect ending to this long day. Their unexpected announcement and the excitement that followed, while welcome, had sapped her energy, leaving her without the stamina to explain what she'd read about pregnancy and the many changes it makes to a woman's body. She could Googlemouth another day. Right now she would be content to sit and let Jane steer their conversation. She wanted so much to request one of Jane's rarely-bestowed hugs, but it wouldn't be the same if she had to ask for it. Casual hugs weren't in their unwritten agreement, just comfort hugs and thank you hugs. So instead she smiled and made herself comfortable on the couch.

Jane could see the words left unspoken in Maura's smile. There was something on her mind but for whatever reason, she wouldn't say it. This was a game they played, each one taking turns being shy, not wanting to impose, while the other watched and listened for the meaning behind the silences, so she could give without needing to be asked. Jane joined her on the couch, tucking her feet underneath her and turning sideways so she could see all of Maura.

Jane took a guess at the other woman's thoughts. "It's not all hearts and flowers, you know." She paused, looking for a sign that she was on the right track. "There's the nausea, the constant back pain... and I'm going to get really fat." She puffed out her cheeks and put her arms out like she was holding a beach ball. This earned a small laugh, but she could tell she was still missing something.

Jane took the thought a step further, "You could carry the next one, if you want."

Maura laughed bigger, surprised, and tilted her head, resting it on the back of the couch. Her fingers went to her lips and her eyes sparkled. "You're already planning for the next one?"

"Well, I didn't want you to be jealous."

"I am a little jealous. You get to hold the baby all the time. I have to wait six more months."

"You wanna touch it?" Maura lifted her head. "C'mere." Jane placed Maura's hand on the small bump. "Feel it?"

Maura waited for something to happen. Jane's belly rose and fell as she breathed. "It just feels like... you had a big dinner."

"Yeah, there isn't much to feel yet, I guess. On the outside." Jane chewed the inside of her cheek, wishing she could do something to make whatever it was better. She let go of Maura's hand, which lingered in the air before resting on the cushion between them. Jane thought she saw some sadness return; her jokes weren't doing their job.

Jane had to try again. "Are you sure... you want to do this?" Maura's brow wrinkled. "You could have anything you want, you know. I kind of ambushed you, and got you to agree to... It's a lot to ask, Maura, a lifetime commitment. And you saw tonight, my family can be pretty overwhelming. You don't have to do it if you don't want to. You could have a real family, with a husband and your own kids, and a hundred turtles running around..." Jane paused, waiting for the correction, but Maura said nothing. Her eyes were wandering around the room. Was she even hearing Jane? "You could have anything," Jane finished quietly.

Maura finally made eye contact again, her brow still knit. She was trying to gauge Jane's offer. Was she merely giving Maura an out of the situation, or was she trying to say she had changed her mind? That she didn't want Maura so involved? Maura couldn't quite read the expression on Jane's face. Her frontalis muscles were engaged, but that could indicate either surprise or worry. Worry made the most sense in this situation, and Jane's next movement, her palm moving to cover Maura's hand, supported this hypothesis. Maura concluded that Jane was simply offering Maura the chance to back out. She did the only thing she could do: she spoke honestly.

"I want this, Jane. I want exactly this, us, sitting together, relaxing after a long day. For the rest of our lives."

"Why?"

Maura had to remind herself that there were no stupid questions. Jane really didn't know. "You're my best friend. I want you in my life, always." It seemed so simple when she said it that way. It didn't speak of the anxiety she felt each time she had seen Casey come into Jane's life, nor the pain of losing Jane when they had argued. Did she need to articulate those feelings? Did Jane really need to hear how important she was to Maura? She still looked baffled.

Maura sighed, trying to figure out how to make herself clear. "You remember, I considered dating Tommy for a short time? Until I saw how much it upset you. It wasn't just his physique or his demeanor I found appealing. I thought... maybe... if things worked out... it would make me a permanent part of your family.

"I didn't know what family meant before I met you. I was an only child and my parents made a point of teaching me to be independent." Jane's head tilted and she squeezed Maura's hand in sympathy. "It's not sad, it just is. I value my independence. I always knew that I could be happy by myself, that I could take care of myself. I never planned to have a family. The way other kids talked about their relatives, it seemed like more of a nuisance than anything else. I thought I was lucky that I didn't have to endure family holidays."

"You were," Jane deadpanned, trying (and failing) to lighten the mood.

Maura ignored the remark. She looked down at their intertwined hands and moved her thumb slowly over Jane's. "You showed me what family really is, the value of it. You help each other persevere during difficult times and you share the memories of good times. You're so much stronger together than I could ever be by myself. The more you let me into your family, the more I understood, the more I wanted that." Her eyes closed. "I want it so badly, Jane." They opened again and tears began to well. She wiped them away with her free hand and took a breath to steady her voice.

"Your family is special. I love your mother. I love the way she interferes in your life. It's because she cares. I love the way Frankie looks up to you. He wants to be you, Jane. And Tommy, he's made some mistakes, but he tries so hard to be the man you all believe him to be. All the idiosyncrasies make each one of you..." She sighed, no longer finding the words to explain why, and had to settle for the conclusion, "I'm fond of you all.

"I don't want my own family, Jane, I want yours. I want to be part of that. What you've given me, by inviting me into your family, I wouldn't trade for anything in the world."

Jane's chest had collapsed in on itself. She knew instinctively that they had lived very different lives growing up, that while Jane was surrounded by annoyances and chaos, Maura had quiet solitude. But Jane didn't realize how profound an effect this had on Maura's expectations in life. To imagine this remarkable woman content living the rest of her life alone... Angela had always said, 'family comes first.' It was the foundation on which she stood, and it made Jane who she was today. Despite all the griping, she loved her family and wouldn't want them any different.

Jane wanted to wrap Maura up and squeeze the past away from her mind. She wanted to hold her long enough to infuse her with the love and affection she had been missing for a lifetime. She wanted to be Maura's family. It took Jane a moment to realize that what she and Maura wanted were exactly the same. That what this woman, who seemed to have everything, lacked, Jane could give. Maura wasn't helping Jane out of duty or sympathy. This was something she wanted as much as, or maybe even more than Jane did.

At that moment of comprehension, Jane's heart swelled with pride. Without even trying, she had given her best friend exactly what she needed. And now that Jane knew, nothing could stop her from being that imposing, annoying, loud family that Maura wanted so badly. Jane would bring the vitality, Maura would be the voice of reason, and they would both provide love. Jane's hand squeezed Maura's again as a wide smile grew on her face. "You're going to be the most amazing mom. Our kid is so lucky."

They sat in silence, their hands still clasped, for so long that Maura's eyelids began to fall. "C'mon, Maur. Let's go to bed." Jane stood, and instead of letting go, she turned her hand around to hold on and lead Maura back to their bedroom, where she finally let go so they could both grudgingly perform their nightly routines. But when Jane got in bed, Maura laying on her back beside her, eyes already closed in slumber, Jane scooted a little closer than usual and laid an arm across Maura's middle. She lifted her head tentatively and saw, in the moonlight, that smile.