A/N #1: I can never express enough gratitude for all the favorites, follows, and comments I receive. This has been nearly a year's worth of a labor of love for me - I've come so far, and yet I know I will never stop learning and trying to improve.
After this chapter, however, I will be taking a very short hiatus (no longer than mid-January). My family understandably wants my attention this time of year, and I also need to step back and take a mental break for myself. Rest assured, I have no plans of abandoning this story now - I will return, hopefully rested and ready to knock the ending out of the park.
In the meantime - if you can, follow me on Tumblr at asgardianruminations. I will be posting a one-shot with (super fluffy and happy) Loki and Sigyn there that a dear friend prompted me, probably before the end of the year. :)
"We're leaving? But you've only just arrived."
Loki kept his grip on Sigyn's shoulders, his mind warring between the yearning to clutch her to him and wanting to shake her until she grasped the urgency of their situation. "Yes…and now that I know you're safe, we can leave."
"I don't understand. Have you helped them? Did you give them what they wanted?"
"That isn't important –"
"It is important!" She raised her forearms, sweeping them out and pushing his hands away, her face livid. "That's why you're here!"
"No – I'm here for you." He pointed at the door, trying to keep his voice low. "Thor and every last one of his friends can rot."
She stepped back from him, shaking her head. "I'm not leaving."
"What? Is this not what you wanted? My freedom?"
"Of course –"
"Well you have it!"
"Do I?" she said, looking at him as though he was the stupidest man in the Nine Realms. "So, you and I could walk out of this room together and leave unimpeded, with no consequences?"
"My magic has been restored, enough that I could use it to transport the two of us safely outside from right here. But the longer we wait, the less likely it is I could even manage that."
"And in doing so, you would ruin everything I've worked so hard to accomplish. This isn't just about you and your desires, Loki. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life running."
"I can protect us!" he said, moving toward her. Why wouldn't she just listen? No one would be expecting them to leave the bedroom for some time – if they escaped now, they could be far away before anyone realized they were missing.
He tried to grab her, but she ducked under his outstretched arms and sat hard on the end of the bed, her arms crossed over her chest. "I said, I'm not leaving."
He ran his hands over his head in exasperation, his long hair reappearing as he ruined the illusion he'd cast on himself. He cursed under his breath; nothing was going right, nothing at all. They could be halfway to anywhere by now, and yet Sigyn remained as stubborn as ever.
Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he tried a different tack. "Sigyn, please. Why stay for them?"
"I'm not staying for them, you inflexible ass –"
"You dare call me inflexible, as you sit there, utterly immovable –"
"Enough!" she shouted, her boldness shocking him into silence. "I'm staying because if we leave now, we will never see our son again…" The last was nearly unintelligible as she hung her head and began to sob, a steady trickle of tears falling onto the strange Midgardian breeches she was wearing. They soaked into the fabric, each drop spreading through the material like blood in water.
"Sigyn –"
"No," she said, raising red-rimmed eyes to his. "You need to listen for once." Her voice was small but tempered with more anger than he'd ever thought her capable of producing. The one thing he'd always counted on – Sigyn's seemingly endless patience – had run out. He was rooted to the spot, off-kilter and unsettled.
"After Ari was born, when the healer placed him in my arms for the first time, he was so tiny and frail and absolutely helpless." Her face softened with the memory, and Loki was once again left to grieve how much he'd missed. "We had no one but each other – and I made a vow to him that I would never allow anyone to take him from me. And I meant it, Loki. No one will take him from me – not even you."
He crossed the room, standing over her and lifting her head to his. "They cannot keep him from us –"
"You're wrong, Loki –"
"I'm not wrong! I will fight until my last breath to be reunited with him."
"Then you will do it without me. Please…it doesn't need to be this way."
He sighed, a deep, defeated sound. "How can you be so certain?"
"I have no choice. I must be certain, or risk madness."
"They only wish to use us for their benefit, Sigyn. Everyone – not just Thor and Stark and these Midgardians, but Asgard as well. How can you not see that?"
"And I wish to use them for ours. Your freedom, genuine and permanent, not this…whatever this -"
Loud music suddenly filled the room, cutting her off – the lyrics a strange sort of whispering.
"Get up get up get up get up…wake up wake up wake up wake up…"
"What is that?" he asked, walking to the center of the room, searching for the source of the interruption.
"It's some sort of Midgardian technology Stark uses," said Sigyn, pointing to a circular recess in the ceiling. "He plays music to awaken us in the mornings."
"Baaaaaby…I'm hot just like an oven…I need some lovin'…"
"This is the song he plays?"
"No, this is a new one. I'm not sure why it's playing right now –"
"And when I get that feelin', I want sexual healin'…"
Sigyn's eyes went wide as the meaning of the song became clear. "Oh.Loki – I think he's playing this for us."
She laughed then, full and throaty, and Loki wanted to clamp his mouth over hers and swallow her laughter down until he suffocated in it. "I don't see how this is funny, Sigyn."
"Do you not, love?" she said, wiping away a tear. "Here we are, alone together for the first time in nearly two years, in a bedroom no less…and you want to fight with me?"
"No," he said, conjuring a small knife into his hand and flinging it up into the recess. Sparks flew as it hit its mark, and the room grew quiet at once. "I don't want to fight."
Sigyn reached for him and took his hands in hers, pulling him down to his knees before her. "Then…let's not."
She ran her fingers through his hair, her touch so gentle he nearly purred. "You frightened me, you know. I thought you'd actually cut it. And these clothes are repulsive."
"I thought it better to hide in plain sight. My reputation precedes me here; arriving in black leather and metal might have caused a stir."
"Well in this room, we are not a mother or father, not a brother or sister or daughter or son. Not an ambassador for peace," she placed her hand on her chest, "or for war," she finished, touching him. "Right now, we are only a man and a woman, a husband and wife – and I for one have waited long enough for my wedding night."
"And you would have it here, in the home of my enemy? Within earshot of those who wish me harm?"
"I'll admit it's not ideal. But when has anything between us been ideal?" She pulled him close, kissing him softly, her lips tasting of tears. "Let them listen," she said as she pulled back. "Let them hear my love for you, and weep for what they can never have."
What I nearly lost, he thought, moving back into her, his unhurried kisses in sharp contrast to the blood boiling just beneath his skin.
He made no attempt to stop her as she moved beneath his tunic, unlacing and loosening the front of his breeches just enough to accommodate her hand. Her warm fingers slid around him, stroking him with assurance, and before he could even pull his mouth away from hers to tell her to stop – he reached his completion with a half-shouted curse and heavy groan, trembling with such force he nearly bit his tongue. Her hand never stopped its gentle movements, guiding him through his fog of bliss and back into reality.
"Forgive me," he said, as soon as he had the breath to speak. "It's been far too long." He waved a hand over his lap, and the mess he'd created vanished.
"There is nothing to forgive, love," said Sigyn. "Though I do hope we're not finished."
"No," he said, standing and pulling her up with him. "Not even close."
Hands busied themselves between fervent kisses, layers of clothing removed and discarded before they collapsed back onto the bed, nothing between them but the tiny scrap of fabric that passed for Midgardian undergarments Sigyn was wearing.
"These are so strange," he said, propping himself up on one elbow to lean over her and trace the edge of lace across her hipbone. "I've seen a doll's sock with more substance than this."
"Panties…that's what Pepper called them."
"And you are on a first name basis with Stark's companion now?"
"She's my friend, Loki," she said, reaching up to kiss the edge of his chin. "It's nice to have one, you know. You should look into it."
"I don't need friends, Sigyn. I have you." Without warning, he curled his fingers into the fabric and ripped it away, throwing the ruined garment to the floor.
Sigyn gasped in indignation. "Those were a gift!"
"They were in the way," he said, pushing her knee out to the side before gliding his hand down the inside of her thigh. He teased his fingers across her center, stopping short of pressing them into her.
"Has another hand touched you here, in my absence?"
She shook her head, her breath shallow. "Not unless…ah…not unless you count my own…"
He raised an eyebrow. "Hmmmmm. Serviceable, but a poor substitute."
She bit into her lower lip, her hips canting up into his hand, wordlessly begging for him to do something…but he kept his hand still, soaking in her radiant heat. He had nearly forgotten just how beautiful she was in this wanton state of arousal; he had her right where he wanted her after so long, and he was going to savor every moment.
He leaned in, pressing his open mouth to hers, slipping his tongue between her teeth just as he breached her with first one and then two fingers. She whimpered into his mouth, and his cock sprang to life once more against her thigh, a primal acknowledgement of his unappeasable craving for her.
"I need to taste you," he said as he broke from her, kissing his way down to where his hand had joined her body. He lifted her leg up over his shoulder, drawing his fingers out just long enough to open her completely before dragging his tongue across her slick skin. She arched up off the mattress as he set his mouth to her with purpose, forcing him to put his arm across her belly to keep her still.
In no time at all she was caught in exquisite tension, hands fisted into the sheets, eyes closed and every muscle as taut as a bowstring as she sought her relief. The heel of her foot dug painfully into his back, her thigh clenching over his shoulder with each thrust of his hand, but he was undeterred in his pursuit to make her fall apart. And oh, the noises she was making – exactly as he remembered, but somehow amplified for how long he'd gone without hearing them. And then, that hitch in her breath that signaled just how close she was, a sound Loki would never tire of, and with one last push of his fingers and brush of his tongue her rigid form went completely limp, one word repeated from her mouth between gasping breaths. Loki, Loki, Loki…
Her breath hadn't even settled when her eyes flew open, the desire in them not quenched at all but rather intensified, and all at once Loki found himself pushed onto his back, Sigyn straddling him. She reached between them and with a complete lack of delicacy, grasped his length – now nearly painful from pleasuring her – and slid down onto him with a sharp breath and a grimace. She stopped only when he was fully seated in her, her eyes screwed shut and her hands braced on either side of his head.
He took her by the wrists, setting them around his neck as he sat up slowly, his arms around her waist to hold her in place. "Are you hurt?"
She rested her forehead on his shoulder, and he could feel her nod in silent answer. "I have missed you….missed this terribly, but my body has forgotten."
"Then allow me to remind it," he said, kissing across her shoulder and grazing his teeth across her collarbone. "And ensure it never forgets again."
It was still dark when Sigyn stirred to wakefulness, her hands scrabbling blindly for Loki and finding only the faintest trace of warmth on his side of the bed. He'd left after all, not even bothering to say goodbye.
Her face flushed in anger, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, but before they could fall a soft sigh across the room caused her to sit quickly, spinning in the sheets.
She found her husband standing in front of the window, still completely nude and unashamed, his form silhouetted in the soft glow of the lights of the city. She glanced over his figure – his muscular shoulders, his narrow hips, the perfect curve of his backside leading into his long, powerful legs – and she wondered, as she had so many times before, how anyone could mistake him for weak. She was currently sporting countless aches – both external and internal – as proof of how foolish it was to underestimate his physical strength.
"Did you think I'd gone?" he asked, keeping his back to her.
She rose from the bed on legs gone shaky with relief, padding across the room to mold herself to his back and slip her arms around him. "Are you talking to me…or to everyone out there?"
He chuckled lightly. "I don't know," he said, interlacing his fingers with hers across his chest. "Both, probably."
She rested her cheek on his back, his voice resonating through her as he spoke again.
"I could have ruled this realm. I would have returned for you…made you a queen."
"I never wanted a kingdom."
"But you deserve one, after all you've done."
"None of us deserve anything, good or bad, Loki. We take what fate bestows upon us, and we decide whether to let our circumstances rule us, or to rule our circumstances."
"You make it sound so simple."
"It is, if you choose for it to be."
It was just light enough that Sigyn could make out several scratches across his shoulders where she had marked him in their passion. She pulled a hand back and traced a finger over a particularly deep furrow, and he shuddered.
"You could heal these easily. Why haven't you?" she asked, planting kisses along the torn flesh.
"So they serve as a reminder. I want to feel them with every movement, to keep me focused on why I'm here." He spun around in her arms, taking her head in his hands, and she was stunned to see half-dried tears on his cheeks. "I've hurt you enough, both deliberately and inadvertently. I would do better by you. And by Ari."
"That is my greatest wish, Loki. For us to be a family."
"My mother brought me to see him, after you and Thor left. I spent hours in her garden with him. Sigyn, he is…he is…" His voice trailed off.
"I know," she said. "There aren't words."
Loki's nostrils flared and he swallowed hard, but with effort he remained composed. "He called me 'Papa'."
Sigyn's heart skipped a beat. "Did he? Oh, that makes me so happy."
"He has your smile," he said, running his thumb across her cheek, his eyes distant. He took a deep breath, and with a shake of his head he snapped back to the present, dipping his head to hers and kissing the corner of her mouth. "Could you bear it once more?" he asked, whispering the words into her skin.
"Could I bear what?"
"Another child. I cannot get back the time I've lost, the moments I've missed. I want to be there from the beginning at least once." He didn't raise his eyes to her, and she could feel the stiff way he held himself, his apprehension, his fear she would reject the idea.
"Get us through this predicament, and I will give you as many children as you want, my love," she said, leaning back to look him in the eye. "But…in time. We've gone about this all backwards. I would enjoy what we have now for a little longer first." Her heart fell with sudden awareness. "Oh, Loki…I don't have any…we've taken no precautions…"
He placed his hand just above her hips, narrowing his eyes in concentration, and heat spread into her through his palm. "There," he said after a moment, as the warmth began to fade. "That gives us at least a month. But there's really only one way to be certain it worked."
"How's that –" she started, yelping as he swept her up into his arms to carry her back to bed.
"By testing it, of course. Repeatedly."
Loki was watching Sigyn as she dressed the next morning, her hair still damp from their shared shower, when there was a knock on the door. He answered it expecting Thor, surprised to find Stark in the hallway instead.
"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" asked Stark, his smile as arrogant as ever.
"Our distinguished host comes to collect us himself. What an honor."
"I would normally just use the intercom to wake you up," he said, glancing up to the ceiling to find Loki's knife still buried in it, "but you seem to be having problems with your speaker."
"Oh, that. It began playing music without prompting."
"Really? How odd."
"As we were too occupied to bother you, I took care of it myself."
"Trust me, this entire floor knows just how occupied you were. Guess the music helped, huh?" Stark stepped into the room without being asked, making a show of taking in Loki's appearance. "Dare I say it, but you're practically glowing this morning. Even your hair's different. Does sex make it grow or something?"
"Would that explain why yours remains so short?"
Sigyn stepped between them before the other man could reply, pinning her hair up and out of the way. "Good morning Mr. Stark. We were just about to head down to breakfast."
"You must be starving, sunshine, having missed dinner last night. I have to admit, the way this guy carried you off like a spoil of war had me a little concerned for your safety."
"As you can see, your worries were unfounded."
"Oh, yes. Fortunately for me, my wife is quite durable," said Loki, earning him a look of admonishment from her even as she blushed crimson.
"How much of a bonus am I going to need to pay my housekeeper to clean up in here?" asked Stark, sweeping through the room. "Do I need to give her a hazmat suit to set foot through the door?"
"A hazmat suit?" asked Loki.
"You know what; I'll give her one, just to be on the safe side. Now come on – we've got lots to do today, and we don't want to start without you."
They went straight to the large meeting room Sigyn had described to him, only to find they were the last ones to arrive. Every head in the room turned as they walked in, the looks thrown their way ranging from morbid curiosity to outright loathing. Loki kept his hand on the small of Sigyn's back as a show of solidarity, noting with pride how her spine remained straight, even under the watchful eye of the room's occupants.
They settled into two unoccupied chairs at the end of the table, just between a small podium and Thor. Loki leaned over toward his brother, speaking to him under his breath. "I do hope we didn't disturb your sleep last night."
"My accommodations are at the end of the hall," said Thor, keeping his voice low. "Perhaps it is Ambassador Bjornson you should apologize to, as his rooms share a wall with yours."
Loki looked across the table to see Bjornson himself looking at Sigyn with some sort of paternal horror, dark circles under his eyes indicating just how little rest he'd received the night before. "Or perhaps he would like to change rooms," said Loki. "I've no plans to restrict my nocturnal habits for his comfort."
"Now that we're all here," said Stark, standing at the head of the table, "we can begin. Ms. Foster?" He pointed to a woman sitting on the other side of Thor.
Loki had expected Jane Foster to be larger than life – almost legendary in proportions to have affected his brother so deeply – yet he was stunned by how tiny she was. She was barely larger than a child; but as she stood she carried herself with a confidence even Loki could appreciate. She stepped up to the podium.
"I won't waste anyone's time here this morning, as time is something we have far less of than we thought. Readings we picked up overnight indicate the Chitauri are much closer than we feared."
"How much closer?" asked Thor.
"Five days, tops. Maybe less."
The room broke out into whispered murmurs and panicked questions. Stark raised his hands, trying to regain everyone's attention.
"Not the best news, I know, but as you can see," he pointed at Loki, "Thor has come through and brought us the help he promised."
"And just how much help is he going to be?" asked a man across from Loki, the one he remembered as Captain America. "You already gave him what he wanted," he continued, thrusting his chin toward Sigyn.
"And yet, I'm still here, am I not?" asked Loki, looking to Sigyn one last time. She reached for him, squeezing his hand in hers and mouthing one word - Please.
He nodded, keeping his eyes on her. "I will do what I can – whatever it takes – to help." He turned to the rest of the room. "Here's what I know."
A/N #2: I wanted to address a few guest reviews here:
A Nice Person: Sorry jotun!Loki hasn't shown up yet. :) I promise I'm not trying to kill you.
Cupcake: I'm so happy you enjoyed the questionnaires! They were so much fun to fill out. And yes, let's hope Loki can turn things around before they get too bad.
Guest (Dec. 15th): YOUR ALL CAPS INDICATE YOU MEAN BUSINESS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS AND SUPPORT. :)
Guest (Dec. 17th): No - you are amazeballs and totes cool - and your offer of marriage made me blush. ;)
Mind Blown: Oh my - thank you so much! I just love that you find Sigyn to be a strong character - I've worked so hard to make her that way, and I'm happy to see that someone thinks I'm succeeding. 3