Chapter 77

"I love you," he whispered...

I closed my eyes tight against his words, and held his hand with all the strength I had. His own was beginning to fail him, and I was failing him. I had promised him that we were not going to die in this battle. This was not how Thorin Oakenshield was going to die, ran through by some low life Easterling. No, it was going to be old age or some grand enemy who took him down. Opening my eyes, I looked at him, and leaned down to touch his cheek. His eyes fluttered open at my touch and I pressed our foreheads together.

"You are not allowed to die. Not like this," I whispered.

Letting go of him completely, I looked down at his wound. I didn't have long, and I had already wasted too much time crying over him. Moving the cloth from his wound, I put my other hand on it firmly and closed my eyes. My father had been able to heal me, so long ago. He had been able to push his energy out and heal wounds that could kill others. My father healed my wounds each day, for years. I could do this. I had read about it, not in great detail, but I had read about it. If my father had been able to do what he had done, I could force myself to heal him once.

I felt the tips of my fingers warm, and rush into Thorin. Skin beneath my fingers started to mend as I focused on what I wanted my powers to do. I wanted them to heal all that had been damaged by this wound, inside and out. Sweat dripped down my forehead, and my whole body became hot. Beneath my hand, Thorin inhaled a huge breath and the strength returned to his fingers. I could hear him making soft noises of pain, as the wound continued to mend. I felt when the job was complete, because when it was done my power came back up through my fingers. It was such a weird feeling. Gasping, I yanked back from Thorin and forced myself to stand on my feet.

Thorin sat up slowly, using the muscles in his stomach. He inhaled a huge breath of air, and he coughed it out, before taking another large breath. When I managed to look, I saw that the wound was gone, and in its place was a scar. It was red, and freshly healed, but it was healed none the less. He reached up and touched his chest, and then his fingers moved to his back, feeling the healed skin there. Panting, I sank down to the ground and Thorin threw himself out of the cot and rushed for me. I reached out and grabbed onto him so that I merely sank to the ground with him. I was very aware of his blood still on my hands.

"Try...try not to get run through again," I breathed, my voice rough. "I don't think I could do that again..."

"You foolish woman!" he hissed, bringing me into a hug.

I wrapped my arms around him, and felt more tears drip down my cheeks. He hugged me tightly, rumbling to me in Khuzdul and I didn't try to understand any of it. I cried against him, with so many emotions taking control of me that I didn't know which one to focus on. I didn't have long to cry, and soon took control of myself. We both got to our feet, and he grabbed a shirt that had been laid by the cot, and threw it on. He was shaking a little, and he was still pale, but he was going to live. While he did that, I moved off and washed my hands. I stared at my hands for a moment, and then dried them off and leaned against the wash basin for a moment. Thorin turned toward me, and I felt his breath on my neck moments later.

"Arina?" he rumbled, his voice heavy with concern.

"I'm all right," I said quietly. "I'm just...shaken."

"You should not have done that," Thorin grunted, and I turned to face him roughly.

"What, save your life?!" I demanded, my own voice shaking.

He held up his hands instantly, and then reached out and touched my cheeks. "I'm only concerned about how you will fair after this," he murmured, and drew my shaking form into his arms.

I reached up again and hugged him. "I'll be fine," I managed to choke out. "I promised you we'd both make it out of this."

Thorin sighed softly, and gave my body a tight squeeze before he backed up to look at me. Now that we were on our own, we both had a moment. I looked up at his face, taking in that he was alive and standing in front of me. I couldn't help but reach up and touch his cheek, letting my fingers run through his beard. His blue eyes bore into my own, and I saw all of it. His exhaustion, rage, and terror shined through very clear now that he could let his guard down. Lifting up, I kissed him firmly on the lips and felt a few tears leak from my eyes. Thorin put a hand on my cheek, and allowed his fingers to wrap around the back of my neck. His fingers played with the hair that had escaped my braid, and his forehead leaned firmly against my own.

"Dwalin?" he asked.

"I sent Akira to his aid," I murmured.

"Dain is dead..." Thorin rumbled suddenly, and I flinched. "They sent his head to us by catapult."

Clenching my fists, I took a breath and had to force myself to concentrate. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Aye," he answered sadly. "But I'm sure they gave him a hell of a fight. His son still lives, and that must count for something."

"There has been so much death," I replied pathetically, looking down at his chest.

Thorin had nothing to say to that, so instead he pulled me close again and pressed a kiss to my temple. Aftter a moment, he pulled back and we left the room together. We searched for Dwalin, and as we passed by so many of the wounded, I sent anyone off I could to get extra supplies. We found Dwalin with Akira and she was focused on her task. Dwalin was injured in more than one place, and the gaping wound going across his chest had me staggering. It did not look deep, but it was bleeding much quicker than Thorin's had. Beside me, Thorin shuddered briefly at seeing his warmaster like this.

I picked up my pace and hurried to her side where she was trying to stitch his wound. Dropping down to my knees, I reached out and touched Dwalin on the forehead. He opened his eyes briefly, but I knew they weren't seeing us right now. The pain he was in was probably too much. Blinking tears from my eyes, I looked up at Thorin who wore a similar expression. Looking back to the warmaster, I forced the scene of him jumping in front of me. I couldn't believe he wasn't dead, but at this point I figured that Akira might be able to save him.

"Do you think you can save him?" I asked softly.

"If I can get this stitched, yes," Akira nodded firmly, and I looked at her proudly. "He will not die today. He isn't allowed."

"What of Dale?" I asked quietly, looking to Thorin.

"Brand is dead," Thorin rumbled tiredly. "His son, Bard is King now. He helped Thane hold the gates with a small group of men and dwarves. Thane had taken his dragon form then, and had held it for the night until you arrived."

"Who else...did we lose?" I asked, and he looked down.

"Come," he sighed, drawing me to my feet.

I followed him to somewhere quiet so that Akira could continue her work. Running a hand over his face, Thorin slowly sat down on a bench and I joined him. He looked over the hall and finally turned his gaze to me. I knew instantly that I was not going to want to hear what he had to say. We had lost far more than just soldiers. I knew that he was about to name friends, close friends. I couldn't meet his gaze as he took a breath.

"Dori, Bifur...and Gloin," he said quietly and I sucked in a painful breath. "Gloin died saving Fili from a death blow, and Dori tried to be a hero as well."

"Who else?" I asked, looking down.

"Tauriel..."

My eyes shot to his instantly at her name, and I blinked several times. At first, I didn't believe I had heard him correctly, but when he didn't speak again I had fresh tears leaking down my cheeks. Not her. She and Kili had been happy together, they had wanted to travel. She was such a dear captain to me. Had been. Dead?! Looking down again, I sucked in a breath and Thorin had to wait several minutes. Once I was able to control myself again, I spoke.

"H...how?" I managed to ask.

"Kili had been taken down by one of their beasts," he said slowly. "But she had managed to take it down….with the cost of her own life."

"Oh no..." I whispered, my fingers clenching.

"She was very brave," he rumbled. "All of them. All of them were brave...and loyal…and some of the best dwarves I could have ever known. We took a bad hit in numbers, but it could have been worse. If Dain had not been in the Iron Hills, we would have lost everything. If we had not had Thane, it would have been even worse."

I gathered myself then, and looked back over the halls. "Where are Fili and Kili?"

"Follow me," he sighed, ushering a healer that wasn't busy to take us to them.

They were in the right corner of the hall, with a few broken bones and shallow wounds here and there. Both of them were awake, letting a healer tend to them. When Kili looked up and spotted us, his eyes widened. Fili's eyes soon followed and they matched his brother. I had no idea if they had heard that the King had been mortally wounded, but their expressions told me that word had got around.

"Uncle!" Fili choked out, and Kili echoed him.

"I'm all right," Thorin answered, trying to stay calm.

Walking forward, I went right to Kili and sat at the edge of his cot. He looked at me, and all he wanted to say was in his eyes. I copied his silence, knowing that if he spoke he'd cry and I'd likely do the same. Reaching for him, I wrapped him up in a hug. Kili shook against me, suddenly unable to hold back his own tears. I held him to me as tightly as I dared. He did the same, and I smoothed some of his hair in an attempt to comfort him.

"It'll be all right," I whispered. "I promise you, it'll be all right."

When he finally was able to pull away, Thorin took my place and I walked over to Fili who just about knocked me off my feet. Despite his freshly bandaged arm, he had yanked me into a hug. I pressed my head against his shoulder and tried hard not to cry again. We had not made it out without loss, but at least we were alive. There were scars that would be carried for the rest of our lives, but we had made it through.

"What of Fiona and Ajax?" I asked softly.

"Fiona has been healing along with Akira, and Ajax suffered a blow to the head, but he is safe," Fili murmured. "Ajax did me proud. He's turned into a wonderful man."

"Good," I murmured.

Once I was satisfied with seeing them, I rose quietly to my feet and walked back out of the mountain. Those that were able, had started to clean up the mess, and I sighed softly. Thorin had stayed behind, and for that I was glad. I was emotional, and I didn't want to be. Pushing myself back into the form of a dragon, I gathered the dead and burned the bodies to ash. Dragonfire was extremely useful. Thane had done the same thing, and while the men and dwarves were able to rest, we cleaned up the aftermath.

I wanted to sleep, but there were pressing matters to take care of. As Thane burned bodies, I opened my wings and pumped them, sending gusts of wind forward. It carried the ash into the sky and off on the wind. We buried our own dead, and the task was finished in the middle of the night. My whole body felt numb when we finished, and I feared I didn't have the strength to turn human again. Thane rumbled, his black muzzle appearing in my line of sight. Arching my neck, I bumped my head gently against his own and sighed.

"Do you have enough strength, Amad?" he asked softly.

"I will make myself have the strength," I muttered, and he rumbled in worry.

We walked back to the mountain, and I forced my change back to human. My vision swam for a moment, and I found Thane reaching out and holding onto me. He glared at me, and I had to smile at him. I wasn't about to apologize now to him. We had things to do, and this was the very least we could do for the mountain. No one ever enjoyed cleaning up dead bodies, or even burying our dead. The task was usually painful and gross. Thane shifted his hold on me, and I gently looped my arm through his. I knew he was tired as well.

"We do what we must," I said softly. "Once I sleep this off, I will be fine."

Keeping my hand on his arm, we walked back into the mountain. I tried not to listen to all of our wounded. All around us there was the scent to blood and death. It made me tighten my hold on Thane for a moment. He looked down at me, concern shining in his eyes. I gave him a tired smile as we found Thorin. He had taken up position next to Dwalin, who was finally stitched and clean. Thorin had fallen asleep next to his friend. My heart hurt, seeing our warmaster in such awful condition. Helping me sit, Thane went off to take care of himself once I shooed him from me.

"You could...have arrived a day ago."

Blinking, I looked up and saw Dwalin weakly looking at me. His eyes were only half open, but the smile that lit up my face had his own lips twitching. Reaching out, I took his hand and squeezed it. I took in his touch, and leaned down over his hand and kissed it. Tears had come to my eyes again, and even though he had just scolded me, I didn't come back with anything nasty. He had jumped in front of an attack, I would gladly take his cross remarks for now.

"Don't do that again," I murmured.

"What, protect my Queen?" he whispered.

"Well if you put it like that, you make me feel bad," I replied hoarsely.

"It wasn't that bad," he rumbled. "I'd gladly do it again."

I fell silent at his words, and looked down. Dwalin weakly squeezed my fingers, and it took all of my control not to throw myself forward to hug him. He noticed the look on my face, and his eyes shined with joy and amusement. I was so used to the cold gaze that it even surprised me. I couldn't help the relieved hum that left my throat.

"Please...not yet," he whispered.

I laughed, and leaned down to press a kiss on his forehead. "Sleep, and I'll annoy you once you are well."

Turning away from him, I quietly reached out and woke Thorin. He woke with a jolt that made me jump, but he quickly recovered. When he looked over at me, he sighed softly and rose to his feet. I got to mine, and tugged him toward our chambers. When we got there, I got out of my clothes and managed to wash up before getting into bed. He managed the same. When we fell into bed, I wrapped my arms around him and was asleep within minutes. The battle had been won, but I knew that we were not done.

All the reviews! I knew I'd get something out of you all with that last chapter. I assure you that it was extremely painful to write, but I had a purpose for it! Thank you to all of you who posted your reviews and for continuing to read this story!

Still mad? The latest losses were not without heavy thoughts. It was extremely difficult to think about, but it was something that I felt had to go with this.

Review!