Chapter 78
The next day was a little better, and I found my strength returning. Akira had been working hard, going through and helping with what she could. Thane had made sure meals had been passed out to the wounded, and that we had enough stores left, while I walked around to see everyone. I had to lay eyes on as many of our people as I could. It was the only comfort I could give myself, and letting them see me gave them hope. It helped them fight.
Nori had suffered a broken leg, and a shoulder wound, but he was alive. His eyes watered when I found him, and I squeezed the unwounded hand. He had been my loyal guard since we had taken the mountain back. It brought me great joy to see him alive, but I knew he was hurting not only from his wounds, but also from loss. He looked at our hands, and he sighed a little and I looked at him.
"Years ago, I thought I'd die before they did," he murmured. "And now, it's just me lingering here."
"You do not linger," I said quietly. "You still need to get well, and we will celebrate this life. The battle for the mountain is finally over. Now, we just wait to see if those hobbits can save the world."
Nori gave me a sad smile, and I leaned down to hug him. He returned it fiercely and I held him for just a moment before I was called away. We would grieve and sing for those we lost after everyone was well. I spent a good part of my day helping Akira when she needed it, trying to be useful. There was nothing much we could do right now, and so I set myself to work with what I knew I could do.
Over the next few days, we held a funeral for Tauriel and sang for all those we had lost in this battle. We sang for Dain, and for those lost in the Iron Hills and for all the men we lost in Dale. I told Thane all about the journey we had been on, from start to finish. I described Edoras and Gondor in great detail and I watched his eyes light up with curiosity. I was trying to get my mind off all the grief that was in me.
Balin. Ori. Tauriel. Gloin. Bifur. Dori, and so many others were lost to us. I only hoped that they were at peace, wherever they were at. It almost brought fresh tears to my eyes when it go quiet, and instead, I found myself seeking out Thorin. He wrapped his arm around me as he sat, and I laid my head against the back of his shoulder quietly as he spoke.
Getting to my feet finally, I let them be and walked off. Now with the feast going on, I was able to steal a bit of silence. Walking to Tauriel's tomb, I laid my hand on the beautiful marble top. It had been so busy, that part of me had not had the proper time to grieve for those we had lost. Dwalin was sitting up in his bed, and would soon be out, but my favorite captain would no longer be joining us in our trips. Sadness gripped me tightly, and finally the tears came to my eyes.
"I'm so sorry," I murmured. "I'm so sorry we were not quick enough, and that we were unable to save you."
She had become extremely special in the last sixty years I had known her. She had been present at Akira's birth, and at several other occasions. We had spent hours together over the years looking at the stars, and when I had no been able to sleep she had been there. Lowering my gaze for a long moment, I sent a silent prayer that she was at peace.
There was a sound behind me, so when I turned around I was relieved to see it was only Kili. The loss was still fresh in his mind, and it was obvious when I looked at him. He slowly walked forward, and I moved aside so that he could reach out and touch the marble head.
"She died in my arms," he murmured. "She...she said it was better this way. At least she...didn't have to live for an eternity without me..."
"Oh Kili," I whispered.
"We had a wonderful life together," he whispered, tears coming to his eyes. "She was so...so dear to me."
"Time will heal you," I offered, laying a hand on his arm. "You are not alone."
"No...no I'm not," he managed to say strongly. "I have all of you. But I miss her more than I could ever imagine."
"She was your other half," I said gently. "It's only understandable. If you should need anything...anything at all you know we're here for you."
"Thank you," he answered gratefully, looking to me.
Reaching out, I patted his cheek gently and we finally walked back to the feast with the others. It felt odd, wearing my crown again. I had gone so long without it that the weight on my head was odd to me. Kili left my side, going off in search of his brother who I found was sitting with Dis and his children. I watched them for a moment, and slowly found my way toward the Healing Halls. Dwalin was sitting in his bed, looking extremely grouchy. There was a plate of food on the table that was eaten, and he had a cup of ale in his hand. When I walked in, he lifted his gaze and arched a brow at me.
"Will you tell them to let me out of this wretched bed," he growled. "I'm fine."
"If you were to get out of bed right now, your stitches would tear," I scolded. "You need to let them sit for a few more days. You've already ripped them once."
"Oh come on!" Dwalin complained.
I laughed, and took a chair next to him. "You are alive, best we keep it that way. Thorin would not be happy to know he was run through for nothing He gave me time to save you, and myself.. You are healing well, and fast so just shut it and be patient."
He grumbled at me for a little bit, before his expression finally began to ease. It was extremely amusing to watch him struggle so much. I don't think I ever saw him this bad after a battle. I wasn't taking chances with his care.
"How is Kili?" he asked finally.
"Raw," I sighed. "But...he will heal. As will we all. We lost loved ones...and loyal soldiers..but it wasn't for nothing. We won, and that's what matters. Sauron has fallen, and now Middle Earth can heal."
"Those Baggins' really have it in them," he rumbled fondly.
I chuckled a little and looked at my hands. "He was such a brave little thing, and wise beyond his years. I pray he finds peace in this time."
"This journey has changed you," Dwalin muttered.
"Oh, aye," I nodded. "I've faced dangers greater than any I've ever had to face. It was terrifying. I've watched others suffer beyond what we've had to suffer, and I could do nothing about it. They were dark hours."
"I'm glad to see that they are finally over," he sighed.
"As am I. At least I hope it is done," I agreed. "Now, you best stay in bed until Akira tells you otherwise, or I will give you a tonic that will put you to sleep."
He laughed at that, only to reach up and hold his chest. Reaching out, I laid a hand on his shoulder gently, before leaving his side. I made sure to visit each of the wounded, and help in any way I could before I found my way to bed. Thorin was there before me, and I shut the door quietly when I got in. He turned his head toward me, and his gaze softened slightly.
"There were many times I'd thought I'd die over these last several months," I sighed. "I'm glad I didn't."
"I am too," he rumbled, reaching out to touch my cheek. "Come, let's go to bed. I'm ready to sleep."
Just before we got ready for bed, there was a great gust of wind that blew the curtains into the room. Lifting my head suddenly, I watched as a great eagle landed on the balcony. It was a tight fit, for such a large bird, but as he angled his head to look in, he managed it. I found myself moving toward the beast without a second thought. Their kind never came to the mountain unless something was wrong, or one of them was hurt.
"What is it?" I asked, bowing my head in respect.
"We leave with first light," he said softly, his voice a whisper. "The White Wizard will need us."
"Gandalf?" I asked, worry having me tense.
"Yes," he answered dipping his head. "The messenger says they plan on marching on Mordor itself. I believe he will also need you."
I opened my mouth for a moment, and then turned and looked at Thorin. He had his back to us, but I saw the line of his shoulders in the candle light. They were drawn up, tense and I could hear that he was breathing a little heavier. We had just recovered, and now I was being sent off again. Turning back toward the eagle, I nodded my head to him, and watched as he flew off. Shutting the great doors, I pulled the curtain shut and walked back over to Thorin.
Reaching out, I ran my hands up his back and then wrapped around him. I pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades, letting him reach up to hold my hand. His shirt had been carelessly discarded to the floor, and I knew why. He was angry that I had been asked to leave again. This battle was supposed to be the final battle and we were going to be done. I wasn't sure what was going to happen now, but at least at the moment I knew what he was feeling.
"Go with me," I said suddenly, and he immediately turned in my hold.
"I cannot do that," he rumbled. "Not with the mountain like this."
"If we don't offer help, there may be no mountain to save, Thorin. They wouldn't march on the Black Gate for no reason," I replied evenly. "Frodo must be close enough that he can no longer do this on his own. They must have a plan."
He stared at me, his blue eyes narrowed as he thought. I was asking a lot of him at the moment, but if we didn't, then Sauron might win this. I tapped my fingers quietly on his back, since my hold had shifted. Thorin quietly wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close. Lowering his head, he buried his nose in my hair.
"You are asking much of me," he murmured.
"Then stay here," I answered, and he pulled back sharply. "Look after our people, and I will go. I will not have it end like this. If I came back to win this fight only to be killed because Sauron won anyway, what was the point of that? He'd make us all suffer much more than a quick death at the hands of a blade."
He snorted at me, a loud and irritated sound. It made me giggle unexpectedly and Thorin glared at me. I got myself under control, and I leaned forward and pressed a tender kiss against his chest. Letting go of him, I let my fingers trail over his scar. He let out a quiet sigh at the touch. After a moment, he moved back from me and grabbed his shirt.
"I'll be right back," he rumbled, and left the room.
He was gone for a while, and I found I couldn't wait for him. Getting into bed, I laid down under the covers on his side. I tried to wait up for him, to know what he was doing, but my eye lids won and I found myself falling asleep.
Sorry, I waited a whole week almost to post an update haha. I've been a little busy.
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