Thanks to those that reviewed. I greatly appreciate it. I may not say it often, but I do.

Even those that only read it. I still appreciate you.

XXX

Chapter 5

Raph sat up and placed Luke's drawing in front of the framed photo of his family. He stood up and slowly shuffled out of the room. He felt eyes on him as he made his way to the bathroom. Once he was in, he shut the door, leaving it unlocked. After what happened last time, Leo and Jenna made a new rule; no locked doors. 'I was so close too.' He thought bitterly.

He did his business and moved to the sink to wash his hands. Once that task was finished he looked up at the mirror. His pale face seemed to get paler as he stared at the hollow version of himself. His bright amber eyes looked dead and empty, his chestnut brown hair was turning gray. He just didn't feel like himself anymore. He let out a sad sigh.

Why are you even trying anymore?

Raph squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his temples as the voice invaded his brain once again. He opened them again and stared at his reflection. Look at you, you piece of shit. You're pathetic.'

Raph's dull eyes grew wider. Did his reflection just talk to him? You are a failure. It hissed at him. Raph shook his head frantically and his reflection laughed. Deny it all you want, but you know it's true.

Raph clamped his hands over his ears and continued to shake his head "No." he coughed out.

Oh... then I suppose good fathers let their sons, their own flesh and blood, get taken away and burned alive.

"I didn't mean it. I- I tried to find them."

Apparently you didn't try hard enough since they were killed. And what about Olivia? I thought you loved her.

"I do love her."

Ha, yeah right, if that was true then why isn't she here now.

"I didn't mean it. I wanted to protect her." he tried so hard to block out the voice, but it was relentless. He looked back at his reflection as it let out a sinister chuckle.

And now you're just laying around, mooching off your brother and his family all because you failed. How long do you think they'll take care of your worthless ass. Face it, you're a failure as a father.

"No..."

As a husband.

"Shut up." Raph muttered.

And as a brother.

"I said shut up!" he yelled as he slammed his fist into the mirror.

…

"Hey little man." Mikey sat down next to his youngest child. "Are you alright?" Luke had been much quieter since he left Raph's room. Seeing his uncle like that kind of freaked him out.

"Yeah," the ten year old pulled his knees up to his chest. "I just want Uncle Raph to be okay now."

He patted his son's head. He knew that Luke wanted Raph to be happy because he's never seen him that way before. He was born shortly after the incident happened so this Raph is the only one he's ever known. "I know. I do too."

"Do you think he liked my picture?" Luke asked hopefully.

"I'm sure he loved it. He even said thank you."

"Yeah, but he cried though." he hugged his knees and rested his chin on his knees. "I didn't mean to make him cry."

"It's okay Luke, don't blame yourself. You did a nice thing for him." Leilani explained to him hugging him close.

"Where is he now?" Leo asked appearing from the kitchen with a cup of tea.

"He went to the bathroom a while ago." Don turned to the bathroom door. "He's been in there for a long time though and I heard the faucet water running."

Leo hummed thoughtfully, he had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. As if confirming his suspicions they heard a desperate yell and loud crash coming from the bathroom. It sounded like glass breaking. The remaining brothers in the room immediately made their way toward the bathroom. Leo knocked on the door. "Raph." he called "Raph!" he tried again with no answer.

He pushed the door open to see Raph sitting in a corner. He was shaking violently, his eyes were wide and glazed over as he stared straight ahead. His hand was bleeding with small pieces of glass stuck in his knuckles. It was then that they noticed the broken mirror "Raph... what happened?" Don asked approaching him slowly.

"Stay away!" Raph yelled. "Please... I'm sorry." he was looking directly at them, but it was like he wasn't seeing them.

"Raph, it's us." Leo said as he continued to cautiously approach him.

"Let us help you." Mikey said. "That hand looks really bad."

"I know... let it bleed." he looked down at his trembling, bleeding hand. "let it bleed."

"Raph..." Don knelt down next to him. "Let me take a look."

Suddenly Raph pointed a sharp, jagged shard of glass at his brother. "Back off." he growled. Mikey and Leo got ready hold him down if needed

Don put his hands up. "Okay." this wasn't the first time that Raph lashed out like this. He just knows that he has to remain calm and speak slowly and carefully. "It's alright, Raph." he carefully grabbed onto his wrist. Raph quickly tried to pull away from him. "Put it down Raph, you're okay." Don held on tight as Raph continued to tug his hand out of his little brother's grip. Don couldn't believe how weak he was. Old Raph would've pushed him away by now.

Raph's gaze met with his for a second. "Please, let me go." he begged while still failing to free his hand.

"No Raph." Don said. "I'm going to help you. Now, put it down." his determined gaze piercing Raph's, leaving him no other choice, but to give in. He dropped the piece of glass and looked away. Don turned to the others standing in the doorway and nodded. Leo went to the other side of him so he and Don could help him to his feet.

"Mike, grab the first aid kit." Leo ordered while leading Raph back to his room.

…

After cleaning out the wound, Don began wrapping it up in bandages. Everyone just sat in an uncomfortable silence.

"I'm sorry Leo." Raph finally spoke.

"For what?" he asked.

"The mirror." Raph muttered. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it bro. It can be replaced." Leo reassured calmly, rubbing his back.

"Raph," Don started "What happened in there?"

"Nothing, it was nothing." Raph took a deep breath. He didn't want to mention that he was slowly losing his mind. "Just forget it."

Liar.

Raph grimaced when he heard the voice again. "Come on bro, we just want to help you." Mikey pushed, not wanting to upset him. Raph opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but then immediately shut it afterward and avoided his brothers' gazes.

Don finished up with a sigh and patted his hand gently "You're gonna be okay."

"You don't know that." Raph growled, snatching his hand away. There was a long pause before he spoke again "Olivia and I would've been married for almost twenty years. Raph shook uncontrollably "And Aiden and Jonah, they would be turning sixteen soon. In about a week now." tears pricked the corner of his eyes. "It's not fair, they should still be alive."

"I know Raph." Leo sighed sadly pulling his brother in for a tight hug which he gladly accepted. Either that or he was just to tired and weak to decline. Leo nodded his head toward the door signaling his brothers to start leaving. Don and Mikey both stood and headed for the door while Leo helped Raph lay back on the bed. He calmly and hesitantly led his brothers out of the room. They were greeted with an audience.

"Well..." Stephanie asked, worry etched into her face.

"He's alright." Leo sighed and looked over to Jayden and Warren, both were looking troubled by what they heard. He didn't really like the fact that this was affecting them this much and he wished that they didn't have to see this everyday. "More or less."

XXX

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