Joey's POV.

It's been 2 weeks since Lauren left; that's 14 whole days and nights. 14. It don't sound like a lot, does it? 2 weeks is nothing really when you think about it. I mean, I used to see her in the market and pretend I didn't cos it was better than acknowledging that the broken look on her face was my fault; if she saw me first I'd offer a tiny smile and pretend like I'd forgotten what she means to me; I used to force myself to walk past her house and not go in; I'd scroll down to her number in my phone and somehow manage not to call her. I did all of that and for a lot longer than two weeks. But back then I didn't realise how bad her drinking was; I never thought she could have died. I just assumed she'd stop drinking, cos it's that easy init, she'd just click her fingers and wouldn't be dependent on alcohol anymore. And then, we could get back together again; just like that. Because life is exactly like them stupid films Alice likes to watch init? No, it fucking isn't! Like, if a bloke is scared of heights, chances are he won't climb up to your window to win you over; he'll just find another bird- one who don't mind meeting him at the bottom of the stairs. And if your memory gets wiped clean every night, he's not gonna try to make you remember him every single day for the rest of your life; he'll just bang ya and be on his way cos you're essentially his perfect woman: no strings sex and he never has to call you. And if you're ill and you need him, he's not gonna look after ya cos he's not Jake Gyllenhaal; he's probably a spineless fuck like me that'll walk out on the only girl he's ever given a shit about. That's what real life is like. It's not fucking hearts and flowers. For someone who he thinks he's pretty 'real', I'm actually deluded. How could I think she'd suddenly be okay? And why did I just assume that would mean we'd instantly get back together? I thought I wasn't helping her and I wasn't what she needed to get through this so the best thing for her was not to be with me. But looking back; I reckon I just made her worse. I mean, she was never paralytic when she was with me. I knew where she was every night, at least. As pathetic and weak and un-manly as it sounds, I were scared. I were scared how shitfaced she got and how the only time there was life in her eyes was she when she had a drink in her hand. Like, if our relationship were so great, she wouldn't wanna drink herself stupid all the time would she? I should have been someone she could tell all the shit things to and that would be enough to make her feel better; I should have been her alcohol. I should have been enough for her, but I weren't. And when I realised that, that's when I did the only fucking cowardly thing I've ever done; I ended it. And I can't really blame Lucy spiking Lauren's drink for me breaking up with her because the break-up was inevitable really. Lucy just sped the process up a bit. I'd already given up. I thought I wasn't what she needed but maybe I was exactly what she needed. And the thought that I could have prevented what happened to her is killing me. If me and Lauren had still been together, maybe she would have stayed sober. I know I drove her back to it. So it's ironic really that now it's me drinking myself to sleep every night. In fact, the last memory I have is the day I said goodbye to Lauren. After that it's like there's a massive hole in my brain or something; can't remember nothing. I'm surprised Sharon hasn't given me the sack; or maybe she has? I think I'm supposed to be at work right now, actually. I pick up my phone from the floor and see that I've had 3 missed calls off Sharon; yep, definitely supposed to be at work. Before I exit my call log, my outgoing call list catches my eye and I wince, inwardly. 33 calls to Lauren, just last night? I know I would have remembered talking to her so it must have gone to voicemail. As I scroll further down, I realise it's not just last night that I've been borderline harassing my ex-girlfriend. I've been ringing her every day since she's been gone; and not just once or twice. Fuck. And I bet I've been leaving her stupid, drunken voicemails, scaring her off. When did I become so pathetic? To top it off, I realise that the odour which hit me as soon as I woke up isn't the socks I forgot to put in the wash; it's me. What's happened to me? If the lads back home could see me now, they'd piss themselves. I used to be someone everyone looked up to; they wanted to be me and I thought I had it made. They were the idiots for wanting a girlfriend, weren't they? What was so great about one bird for the rest of your life when you could have a different one every night like the great Joey Branning? I was a self-proclaimed legend. In hindsight, I wasn't a legend; I was a dickhead. Those lads had it right all along. What do you need loads of birds for when none of them made you happy? When just one was more than enough to make you happier than you even thought possible? It's funny how the world works init? I used to laugh at how pathetic they were and now I realise they probably felt sorry for me; cos I was the one missing out, not them. I never thought it'd happen to me. Love. I never thought I'd wanna be Jake Gyllenhaal/ Adam Sandler or that bloke in the film about the prostitute. When I had the chance to be, I royally fucked it up; but now it's all I want. I wanna be that perfect guy for Lauren. I was so lucky and I didn't even realise it; I know she doesn't deserve me and there's probably some bloke out there who can make her happier than I ever could. But, I love her. Like, crazy love her. I've messed up though; I've ruined everything and I'm probably never gonna see her again. Before I can reach for a bottle of vodka I know I'm bound to have somewhere in this pit, there's a knock on my door then it's pushed open and I'm greeted by the sight of Alice.

"Can I come in?" She asks, carefully. I nod and she winces as soon as she steps inside my room.

"It's not the room; it's me. I stink." I point out, matter of factly.

"Joey, I don't really know what to say because we've never been in this situation before. You've never had a girlfriend before let alone been in love." She hesitantly perches down on the corner of my bed.

"You don't have to say nothing, Al." I shrug.

"I haven't said anything for two weeks; I've just watched. I think I need to say something because I can't let you carry one like this."

"Are we switching roles?"

"This isn't funny, Joey."

"Sorry, sorry. What is it you think you need to say?"

"You can't keep this up. You have to stop. You wanted Lauren to stop drinking; what do you think she'd say if she could see you now?"

"She can't though, can she? That's the point. Fuck knows when, if, I'll see her again."

"So, what are you gonna do? Drink for the rest of your life so you don't have to remember what's happened?"

"That sounds pretty good, Al."

"Either way, you're not gonna see her again, are you?"

"Why? Do you know something?"

"Err, don't you remember last week?"

"I don't remember yesterday."

"You went round to Uncle Max's and asked him to tell you where she is. He got angry; it was pretty bad."

"What? What happened? What you going on about?"

"Basically, he said you'll never get anywhere near his daughter whilst he's around."

"Oh, fuck. He blames me, doesn't he? Tanya does too."

"Probably, yeah. But that's not important right now. I know you're probably dying to see her, but there's nothing you can do. She's in the right place, she's getting help and she's gonna get better. When yous two broke up, she was in a really bad place. I think this distance from you is a good thing for her. You have to move on, Joe. I'm sorry, but you do."

"So, you blame me an all?"

"Well, partly, I guess. And you blame yourself too; that's why you're doing this. I blame all of us. We weren't there for her when she needed us, were we? You need to get over each other. Lauren needs to get over you. She has to focus on herself."

"Before she left she said she needed to get over me."

"When she comes back, things won't just go back to normal."

"If."

"Alright, if."

"You know I love her, don't ya?"

"Of course, Joey."

"So how am I supposed to get over her? Why should I?"

"Because it's for the best."

"I thought that too, that's why I broke up with her. But it just made everything worse. She never drank that much when she was with me."

"But she couldn't handle not being with you; that's probably why her drinking got so bad. And that's not healthy. You need to take a step back."

"But, Al, I did take a step back. And that's what made her worse."

"Joey, she told you she needs to get over you. What more proof do you need? You're not good for her."

"Don't say that, Alice. Just don't, alright? She were meant for me; we was meant for each other. I never felt like this before and I never will again. How can I not be good for her?"

"Because when she saw you with Lucy, she went off with some random blokes and nearly ended up dead cos, to her, that was better than not having you in her life. Don't you see how horribly sad that is? Don't you see how low she felt?" Alice sighs, sadly.

She's right. I nod hollowly, not knowing what to say. Not knowing if there is anything to say.

"So, that means if she wants to move on from you, you have to let her."

"So, what do I do?"

"You get up, take a shower, then go to work and beg Sharon not to sack you."

"I meant about Lauren."

"Nothing. There's nothing to do."

"So, I'm just supposed to carry on as normal like nothing's wrong?"

Alice just nods. Like it's that simple.

A/N: Hope you liked it, let me know what you think!