A/N: Sorry for the delay but I promise it is worth it. This chapter is the longest thus far. There is very limited Carson and Hughes interactions in this one (my apologies Chelsie fans), but when you read their segment you'll understand why. I couldn't do much else with them in the time frame that had passed between the last chapter and this one. I promise there will be more in the next chapter though. Special thanks to awesomegreentie and spikeybluelacky on tumblr for suggesting some of the answers to John and Anna's questions during the "getting to know you" section. A big thank you again to A-Lady-To-Me for collaborating with me on this. Glad you are all enjoying this still. Please review and a lovely morning/evening where ever you are :)
Chapter 7
The house was nearly silent except for the sounds of water splashing around in the bathroom. Anna poked her head in to check on Aidan as he played with his toys on the side of the tub, "Sweetie, I'm going to grab your pajamas and a towel. Please be careful."
He looked up at her and smiled as he continued humming some song he learned in school. "Mummy, can I have some more bubbles?"
"Not tonight, sweetheart. Mummy is tired and not feeling well. Let's keep it short tonight, okay?" He gave her one of his sad faces, complete with pouty lips and puppy dog eyes, but to his credit he didn't complain or put up a fight when she denied him once more. "Finish up your game. I'll be right back," she said.
"Yes, Mummy," he said dejectedly.
Anna felt guilty. He had been so well behaved since he had arrived home, but she just didn't have the energy to entertain the idea of a longer bath. It was moments like these she wished she wasn't a single parent. He deserved to play a little more. She grabbed a towel from the linen closet and picked out a set of his pajamas before heading back to the bathroom. "Alright my darling, stand up so Mummy can dry you off and get you ready for bed," she said as she held the towel open for him.
"Bed? Already?" he asked.
"Well not right away," she said with a smile. "But you still need to eat cereal and then maybe we can watch a movie while we go sleep in Mummy's room. How does that sound?"
"Oh boy!" Aidan said as he jumped in place.
He nearly lost his balance and slipped but Anna gripped his arm and pulled him into her embrace. She felt her heart jump into her throat for a moment. "This is why Mummy says you need to be careful in the tub," she warned. "You almost gave Mummy a heart attack," she said under her breath.
"Sorry, Mummy," he apologized as she wrapped him in the towel and dried his hair.
"It's okay," she sighed; her voice was laced with exhaustion. She rubbed at her tired eyes before tickling his belly so he wouldn't feel bad. "I picked out your super hero pajamas. Will those do?" she inquired cheerfully.
Aidan nodded his head in agreement and steadied himself using her arms as a brace while he put his feet into the legs of his pajama bottoms one at a time. "Can I pick out any cereal I want?" Aidan asked.
"I don't see why not," Anna replied as she combed his hair. She began to hang up the towel when the door bell rang out. The sound startled her and she stood frozen in place until she heard Aidan's feet carrying him across the flat.
"Mummy, can I answer the door?" he begged.
"No!" she was quick to call out.
"Please!" he pleaded and she could hear the jiggle of the handle.
"Only Mummy or an adult can answer the door," Anna reminded him as she walked back into the living room. Anna drew the shawl tight around her shoulders and gently guided Aidan to stand behind her as she looked through the peep hole. She stepped back for a moment, her hands still planted on the door as she held her breath. "It couldn't be," she said to herself.
Aidan tugged on the pant leg of her pajamas as he stood with one arm wrapped around her thigh, "Who is it, Mummy?"
"It's…um…" she slid the chain lock over and opened the door.
"Hello," he greeted her with a heartwarming smile. .
"It's Mr. Bates!" Aidan said with a perplexed look upon his face.
John looked down at the little boy and offered him a broad grin, "Hi, Aidan. How are you feeling?"
"I'm all better now," he answered back proudly without missing a beat.
"That's great," John said before searching for Anna's eyes again. "And how are you feeling?" he asked.
"I've had better days," she replied with a sniffle.
John could tell by the bewildered look on her face that she hadn't been expecting this. Even with a cold she looked more striking than he had ever imagined. Her nose was tinged pink, her cheeks looked flush, her hair was tied back in a loose braid, and her eyes looked glazed over. Yet somehow, when she managed to give him a smirk she looked exceptionally beautiful. She went to open the door a little further and her shawl fell off her shoulder revealing her neck and collar bone. John caught sight of it before she pulled it tight against her and felt a warmth come over his chest as the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. He cleared his throat and tried not to stare too hard.
"You shouldn't have come. You'll catch yourself a cold," she said concernedly.
He was taken aback; even as she was trying to take care of herself and Aidan she was worried about his well being. "I don't care," he argued in a soft voice. Her silence troubled him as he stood on her doorstep. "I'll leave if you want me too. I just…I had to be sure you were okay," he said. Her features softened at the sound of his words. "Do you want me to leave?" he asked. His waited nervously for her response, hoping and praying she wouldn't say 'yes'.
She shook her head back and forth and whispered, "No."
He let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding in. "I came bearing gifts," John offered as he held up the bags packed with takeout boxes.
"You didn't have to go through the trouble," she responded.
"I know I didn't have to, but we were supposed to eat tonight. I'm sure you weren't up for cooking tonight," he presumed. "Did he eat?" John asked as he gestured towards Aidan.
Anna began to answer but was interrupted by Aidan. "Mummy said I could have cereal tonight," he answered proudly as his little belly protruded out.
"Oh, well you don't have to eat this. But Mrs. Patmore told me you loved her homemade macaroni and cheese," he offered with a raised eyebrow.
For the first time in the conversation Aidan broke free from his place beside his mother. His face erupted into a smile and he looked back at Anna for approval.
Anna gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze and looked back at John before asking, "You went to the restaurant?"
"Mhmm," he replied with a nod of the head. "I was supposed to meet you there anyway. I figured if I called ahead someone at the restaurant might know what your favorite food was. Ms. Hughes was still there and she placed the order for me before she left to check on your father."
"Oh," she replied.
For a moment she seemed like she was far off somewhere. "So…can I come in?"
"Of course. Enter at your own risk though," Anna said as she stepped aside.
John made his way to the kitchen to set the bags down and Aidan skipped off behind him as Anna shut the door. When she turned around to follow his movement she watched the way his backside moved with ease and felt dizzy, but for the first time today it wasn't from the flu. "Can…can I help you with anything?" Anna asked as she headed toward the kitchen.
"I don't think so," she heard him say from the other room. There was a sound of kitchen cupboards opening and closing and a shuffling of silverware that made her consider repeating her offer. Then he popped his head out of the kitchen pass through and said, "You just sit yourself down on the couch and I'll set Aidan up with some food."
"Oh, no I can't let you…" she began to argue.
John held his hand up to stop her from speaking. "Anna. Please, let me help," he gently instructed.
Anna stopped in front of the couch and fidgeted with her hands nervously, fighting the urge to go into the kitchen and help him. She finally sat on the couch with a huff and felt her muscles begin to go limp as she folded her legs beneath her and spread a throw blanket over her lap. Anna waited there in silence for awhile; she could hear the soft murmur of Aidan talking to John. He was probably chatting the poor man's ear off. She knew that when Aidan got into one of his talkative moods it was hard to get him to stop. Then she saw John emerge with Aidan walking behind him and placed a bowl of the macaroni and cheese down for him on the table. He didn't seem to be flustered with Aidan or short with him. In fact, he seemed to be getting on with her son rather well. John offered to help Aidan up onto the booster chair, but much like he had before, Aidan insisted he could do it on his own. Anna smiled to herself as she watched the small give and take between the two.
"And what would you like to drink?" John asked as he leaned over on the back of Aidan's chair.
"Can I have some chocolate milk in a big boy cup?"
"I'm not so sure a big boy cup is a good idea tonight," Anna chimed in. She knew Aidan was getting better with drinking from a cup without a lid, but there were times where he was clumsy or would get side tracked and knock the glass over. She didn't want John to have to deal with that if he had an accident.
"Please," he replied back as he looked up at John.
"I don't see why not. He is a big boy after all, no reason he shouldn't use a big boy cup," John relented but still waited for Anna's approval.
Anna nodded her head in response and John left to fetch a cup and some milk from the kitchen. Once out of ear shot Anna warned the boy in a low voice, "Aidan, please be careful not to spill."
"I won't Mummy," Aidan replied back as he dug into his bowl of food.
Anna watched him as John set a glass of chocolate milk down in front of the boy. "Someone certainly has a big appetite today," she commented.
"Well, I hope you don't mind. But someone else promised if he ate it all he could get some of the pudding that Mrs. Patmore packed for him," John said with a smile.
"Maybe just a small serving then. He already had ice cream while he was out with Sybil today," she added as she leaned on the arm of the couch and propped her head up on her elbow.
"Sorry," John apologized.
"It's fine. You didn't know," she said.
"Can I get you anything to drink?" he asked.
"Something with bubbles to help my stomach would be nice. I think we still have some Sprite in the refrigerator," she suggested.
John took his time in the kitchen and when he reemerged he was balancing a hot bowl of soup on a tray with a glass of Sprite and a tiny vase with a flower in it.
Anna was dumbstruck as she stared at him with the tray. "What's all this?"
"Go on. Take it," John answered as he pushed the tray toward her. Anna sat up on the couch with her back resting against the arm and John gently placed the tray on her lap. "I have it on good authority that this is your favorite and that it is known to cure whatever ails you," John said as he handed her a napkin.
"And the flower?" she asked.
"I had planned on getting flowers for you tonight before I found out you were sick. The rest are in a larger vase in the kitchen, but I thought you deserved to have something to brighten your evening," he added with a boyish grin.
She couldn't seem to take her eyes off of him; the gesture was so unexpected and touching. His words so sincere, had struck a chord in her heart. The way he was dressed was very much like the night he had stayed after the ball. He was still wearing a dress shirt, light blue that contrasted nicely against his skin. His sleeves were rolled up and she could see the hair that covered the back of his arms; arms that clearly were not unfamiliar with a hard days work. The same could be said of his large hands that trumped hers in comparison. He wore a pair of black dress trousers and they fit him a little more loosely than his suit from the charity ball had. It made it so that whenever he took a step she could just barely make out the outline of his frame as the trousers skimmed the side of his legs.
He brought her back from her thoughts when he said, "I'll be right back."
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"I have to eat too," John joked as he headed back towards the kitchen. "Don't wait up for me, you go ahead and get started on your soup."
Anna plunged her spoon into the bowl of soup and was just about to swallow a bite when she heard her phone go off. She stopped to answer it. "Hello," she greeted in a tired voice.
"Hey, Anna banana," a warm voice rang out on the phone.
"Gwen. It's so good to hear your voice. How was the teacher's conference?" Anna asked as she attempted to clear her throat.
"I just got back and received all your messages. The mobile reception at that hotel was shoddy as hell. How are you? How's Danno doing? Do you need me to stop by and bring you some food or take him off your hands for the night?" she offered.
Anna chanced a glance over her shoulder and used the kitchen pass through to see John milling about in her kitchen. She turned back to the tray and brought the small daisy in the vase to her nose for a smell. The smile that blossomed there nearly split her face in two. With stars in her eyes she replied back, "I don't think so." Anna spun the stem of the flower back and forth between her fingers mindlessly as she said, "Thank you Gwen, but I'm very well taken care of." She had a hint of an impish smile on her face as she said it and quickly hung up before John could return from the kitchen.
Remembering that Elsie had offered to come by as well, she quickly shot a text over to her to inform her that John had arrived to help take care of her. Almost as quickly as she had typed the last letter of the text she heard the swinging door of the kitchen open. John came back with a plate of food for himself and prepared to join her, but not before stopping to check that Aidan was alright. Aidan sat there playing with his toys on the table stopping every so often to take a bite. John turned on his heel and asked Aidan, "Would it be okay with you if I joined your Mummy out in the living room so she isn't lonely?"
Aidan looked like he was mulling it over before agreeing to John's request, "Can I show you my toys later?"
"Uhhhh, sure," John replied as he began setting his drink and food down. He took a seat at the small coffee table, sitting across from Anna on the rug with his ankles crossed as he let his back lean against the base of the couch.
Anna observed what John was about to consume, "Are you eating macaroni and cheese too?"
John had just swallowed a mouthful and wiped his mouth with his napkin before smiling at her and setting the fork down with a clatter against the bowl. "Mhmm," John replied in a sing-song tone as he supported his head using his free hand and began picking at the pasta in his bowl.
Anna was admiring the view of his forearms and took notice of the tiny notch in his cheek as he chewed his next bite. "Now I feel horrible. We were supposed to go out and you should have had a proper meal tonight," she said.
"For the record I prefer a night in over a night out. It feels more personal without the waiters coming around every few seconds to ask if there is anything else they can get you. What's worse is when they show up to ask you these things as your mouth is full," he noted and she smirked in response. "And this is a proper meal. I actually like macaroni and cheese. I think it's a single mom staple," he joked and checked to make sure Anna wasn't offended. Her eyes met his and there was a moment of understanding between the two of them. John went back to eating another bite and swallowed before revealing, "My mum used to make a very similar version for me before she left to work the night shift."
"So you spent most nights alone?"
"Yes, but my mum preferred to be there in the morning to see me off to school. She slept while I was at school and helped me with homework and served dinner before she left. She had one of the neighbors come check in on me during the night while she was out. It wasn't ideal, but I don't regret my childhood for one moment. She did the best she could with what she had and at the end of the day I felt loved and supported," he mused before sipping on his water.
John was about to say something more when Aidan interrupted their conversation, "Mummy, I'm done!"
Anna craned her neck so that she could see Aidan, "Did you finish all your food?"
The boy was quiet for a moment before he answered back, "Well…almost all of it."
"Let me see," Anna requested and he held up his bowl in response. "Three more bites," she responded.
"Two more," Aidan bargained as he held up his fingers.
John had to use his napkin to hide his smile and muffle his laughter.
"Three more," Anna stood firm.
"Okay," he said with a defeated sigh as he quickly scooped two more spoonfuls into his mouth.
Anna turned back to look at John, "I'm sorry, you were saying?"
"Um…I can't remember. He's quite the little negotiator though," John quipped.
"I think you mean handful," Anna said before dipping the spoon into the bowl once more and swallowing a spoonful of soup and chewing on one of the saltine crackers that lined the bowl.
"He's not so bad," John commented. Aidan began to rise from the chair after triumphantly proclaiming he had finished the three bites. Shortly after finishing his sentence there was a small crash and both of them turned to look in Aidan's direction to see the table covered in milk.
"Sorry, Mummy. It was an accident," Aidan quickly said.
"Oh no, I'll get that," Anna said as she began to move her tray to rise from the couch.
"I can manage. You rest," John insisted and gestured with his hands for her to lie back down. "It's only a bit of spilled milk," John said as he began to rise from his position on the floor. "I suppose I will have to get used to this sort of thing happening, eh?"
Anna felt guilty that John had to pick up after Aidan, but at the same time he wasn't complaining and he didn't seem upset. The offer reassured her that he was capable of being there not only for her, but for Aidan as well.
"Have an accident there, did you partner?" John asked as he picked Aidan up from the chair and gently placed him on the floor, clear of the milk that was beginning to run off the table. Aidan's eyes were filled with tears and he clammed up as he kept his eyes fixed on the floor. John placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and put his mind at ease as he spoke, "Hey, hey. It's okay. I spill stuff too. Maybe we stick to cups with caps in the living room," John suggested and Aidan solemnly nodded in agreement. "Why don't you go join your Mummy on the couch and start pulling out those toys you wanted to show me?" John winked at Aidan as he ruffled his blonde hair.
Aidan stared at Anna before looking back at John and smiled. In a low voice he managed to say, "Okay."
John grabbed a dishcloth from the kitchen and began wiping up the mess and as he did Anna felt herself falling more in love with him. He had shown patience and understanding with her son; qualities she was certain he was capable of possessing, but it had taken her by surprise that he was willing to demonstrate them with Aidan. When Aidan came to join her on the couch and found security in the warm embrace of his mother's arms, Anna couldn't help but wonder how Henry might have reacted to such a mishap. Would it have rolled off of his shoulders like it had with John? Maybe he would he would have shown him more mercy because Aidan was his own child? Or would he have been as unpredictable with Aidan as he had been with her? She shook the thought from her head while she smoothed the little boy's hair and reminded him to thank John for cleaning up after him.
As John moved his hand in figure eights upon the wooden floor to scrub up the last bit of milk he heard a small voice say, "Thank you." John turned back to look at Anna and Aidan, the mirror image of one another; he couldn't help but feel some sort of tug at his heart, something that told him this is where he belonged.
"You're welcome," he replied. When he came back to join them he put a movie on for Aidan and cut Anna off before she could argue, "It's not an imposition." John took his seat on the floor once more and noticed that Aidan chose to sit closer to him as the movie began, he smiled down at the little boy and the Aidan returned the sentiment.
"Not quite how you pictured this evening going was it?" Anna asked as she took another sip from her soup.
"No," John replied as he looked down at Aidan who was enraptured with the movie, Cars. Anna got quiet and stared at her hands that were neatly folded in her lap. "It's better. Much better than I thought," he replied.
Anna responded with a look of overwhelming relief and a smile that slowly spread across her face as the words registered and floated around in her mind. "But, we've barely had a chance to speak," she pointed out.
John grabbed a throw pillow from the couch and placed it behind his head to make himself more comfortable. "I didn't think you'd want to interact too much since you need your rest, but now that you mention it…what would you like to talk about?"
"You know…the things that most people talk about on first dates," she said with a wave of her hand.
"Which are?" he replied back with a raised eyebrow.
"I don't know, it's been so long since I've been on one," she hated to admit.
"Well, I haven't faired much better than you," he replied back with a playful scoff.
"Very well then. When was your last first date?"
"Boy you don't waste any time. Just dive right into the deep end, do you?" he teased. Anna blushed as she nodded in agreement. John took a deep breath, hoping that she would be understanding and allow him to explain. But he understood better than most that she needed honesty because she had to guard her heart as well as Aidan's. "Nearly twenty years ago with my ex-wife," he confessed in a voice filled with regret.
"Oh." So many questions were already running through her mind, but she didn't want to jump to conclusions. She had been on the other end of that stick before. Five years on and it hadn't gotten any easier when people would ask or assume about her situation with Aidan.
John wasn't sure the stillness that had settled among them was a blessing or not. Anna didn't seem to be dismissing it, but he could tell she was hung up on the admission. "We met shortly after I joined the Army. I was a reckless youth and Vera didn't seem to mind my rebellious side. That should have been my first clue that we were a horrible match. She also had a bit of a temper like me." Anna felt that nagging fear that had plagued her for years come back for a moment, but it went unrecognized by John. "The only thing that seemed to calm her was a drink, but sometimes that was the thing that set her off. She actually took to throwing a thing or two at me and eventually I had to walk away from the situation. Unlike her I could never hit someone I love, no matter how they mistreated me."
"Oh my gosh! Did you tell anyone?" Anna asked as she sat up attentively.
"No. I didn't think anyone would believe me. I mean I'm a big guy and I was a soldier at the time. The police by the base would have laughed me right out of the station," he reasoned.
"In all actuality we would have made better drinking buddies or friends with benefits," he divulged.
"What's friends with bedfits?" Aidan turned and asked.
In all honesty, John had forgotten that Aidan was even in the room. He realized he would have to be more careful with the things he said around the child. "Ummm…" John replied with a blank expression.
"Can I have one?" Aidan questioned.
"No sweetie," Anna replied as she fought back a wicked grin.
"Why not?" he argued. "Mr. Bates had one."
"It's something only adults have," John answered. Somehow that seemed to satisfy Aidan and he went back to watching his movie. "I guess we should stick to less provoking topics until the little one is out of ear shot then," John said to Anna.
"I quite agree. How about favorite color then?" she asked.
"Hunter green."
"That's specific," she noted.
"And yours?"
"Periwinkle."
"Is that really your favorite color?" he queried.
"Yes. Why?"
"No reason," he said with a smile. "Alright then," he rubbed his hands together maniacally like he had a real challenging question, "describe your perfect day."
Anna had to think about her response for a moment. She was so used to doing things for Aidan she hadn't given much thought to what she would do if she had a whole day to herself. On the rare occasion she had free time, she used the opportunity to try and catch up on chores around the house.
John eagerly awaited her answer and was entranced by the way she took a strand of hair and twirled it around her index finger as she took her time thinking.
"Just once I'd like to sleep in until I woke up naturally," she said.
"That's it? You'd sleep all day?" he asked.
"Hold on. There's more…I'd probably take the time to make a big breakfast for myself and Aidan. Afterwards we'd spend the day in the park or the zoo and probably take the train there, because he loves riding the tube. Head over to my Dad's to make dinner for all of us; we try to do that at least once a week. Then finish the day off snuggled in my bed watching something with Aidan; preferably something I haven't been forced to watch on repeat," she joked. When she began to laugh she coughed a bit and John leaned forward giving her a concerned look. She waved him off and insisted it was nothing.
He sat back feeling uneasy and guilty for keeping her talking when she clearly wasn't feeling well. As he reviewed her answer in his head he couldn't help but notice that the only thing she had wanted to do for herself was sleep in a little longer. Everything else still revolved around Aidan and her father. It touched him so and reminded him that he should really take advantage of spending some time with his own mother whenever he could.
"And for the man of mystery?" Anna prodded as she sipped on some of her Sprite.
"I'd probably spend the day by the sea, not doing anything particular really. I've just always loved the atmosphere whether I was sitting on the sand or out in the water. I might even take my mother along because she never goes anywhere these days. She's always cooped up in my old childhood home. I think I'd curl up with a good book under a tree or somewhere shady because my Irish complexion attracts sunburns like no other," he said and they both shared a laugh. "Although, I could read anywhere really. Then I think I'd take Robert up on his invitation to have dinner with him and Cora and probably catch a football match before heading off to bed," he concluded. "I'm not a terribly exciting fellow. Some might even call it boring," he added in a self deprecating tone.
"It sounds lovely to me," she said cheerfully. "Sometimes, it's the little things…the simple things that you come to appreciate the most. At least, that's how I feel about it," Anna said as she glanced over at Aidan.
She looked like she was far off somewhere, lost in her thoughts. She didn't look upset or particularly happy, she just looked content and at ease; more so than he had ever seen her. He suspected that she was thinking of Aidan. John noticed that whenever she talked about him her voice took on this whole other tone that she reserved just for her son. It was a voice filled with warmth, pride, and love. As if all of her life's goals were accomplished just by having him there and watching him thrive. It reminded him of his own mother and how no matter how many times he had screwed up his own life, no matter how many headaches he had caused for her, she loved him unconditionally and spoke of him like he was the Alpha and Omega.
"I couldn't agree more," he replied back. Although there hadn't been many opportunities for them to have shared conversations, it was times like these that worried him the most. Those moments of truth when Anna's moral character really showed through and he was reminded that she was too good for him. He knew the he had made a lot of improvements in his life, but he also knew he wasn't always a stand up guy. But boy how she made him want to fight harder than ever to be the champion of her heart.
"John? What were you thinking of just now?" she asked.
"Nothing important," he said with a shrug. "How about favorite movie?" he asked.
"That's easy. Sleepless in Seattle. You?"
"I can't tell you that," he said as he avoided her gaze.
"What? Why not? I told you mine," she said.
"Because it's so cliché," he said.
"Well I haven't watched any movies that didn't involve animation since before Aidan was born. I might not even know what you are talking about," she said.
"Alright, alright, it's Field of Dreams," he said.
"But that's a baseball movie," she said.
"Are we not allowed to list baseball movies?"
"I'm just surprised that's what you chose. I expected something like Dead Poets Society or The Bone Collector," she stated.
"It's a movie about the relationship between a father and son and a guy that's trying to keep it all together for his family," he reasoned. "And before you ask, yes I've cried before while watching it…on more than one occasion," he admitted sheepishly. "Go ahead you can start laughing."
"I don't think that's funny. I think it's sweet," she said sincerely. "Alright, my turn now," she made a face like she was deep in concentration. As if some simple answer to a question could possibly reveal everything she ever wanted to know about his past and personality. "Favorite ice cream flavor?"
"That's easy. I'm a man of simple pleasures. Vanilla," he said with a sly grin.
He was about to ask Anna the same question in return when Aidan interrupted them. "I like Cookies and Cream!" he volunteered.
"Really? You don't say? I wonder what could possibly make you like Cookies and Cream," John said playfully as he went to tickle the little boy around his waist. "It couldn't be the cookies, could it?" John teased.
"Yes!" he squealed in between laughs.
John hoisted him above his head for a moment, still tickling him under his arms before setting him back down in front of him. "And the lady? Wait, wait…let me guess. Rocky Road."
"Nope. Brownie with Fudge Ripple."
"What? You can't pick two desserts it's cheating," he argued.
"Cheating? Well I never," she replied indignantly. "I can't help it that I know what I want."
"Sorry, but I'm going to need a ruling from Aidan on this one. Can you pick two desserts, Aidan?" John asked.
"Nuh-uh," Aidan said as he shook his head in disagreement.
"Well, it doesn't matter I usually get to eat my choice and whatever Aidan doesn't finish anyway," she retorted.
"Fair enough," he immediately gave in. If this is how it would always be with them, he was quickly learning it would be hard to deny her anything.
"How about first kiss?" she chimed in.
"That's not fair, you got to pick the last question," he pointed out.
"Afraid of answering the question, Mr. Bates?" she teased.
He loved the way each syllable of his name rolled off of her tongue so effortlessly and yet sounded so pleasing to his ears; one would have thought he had never heard his own name before. And it had never sounded more beautiful than when it hung on the lips of such a gorgeous creature. John's head was spinning and he almost forgot what she had just asked him. "No, not afraid. Just not quite sure how to answer the question. Are you wanting the age of my first kiss, the name of the person, or the circumstances?"
"All of the above I guess, if you are offering," she answered back.
"I've got nothing to hide," John said as he squint his eyes in mock concentration, pretending to think back. "I was ten; the lady in question was a Miss Susan Flannery. Her mother was a baby sitter of mine and she left us alone one afternoon while she went out to grab some groceries."
"Ten! Oh my goodness, you were just a child!" she exclaimed.
"Yes and quite the ladies man back then too," he chortled.
"I guess," she said in amazement as she tried to picture a younger version of John taking advantage of the fact that his baby sitter had just left him unattended with a young girl that he was interested in.
"I mean, I was only ten so I doubt the kiss was anything to brag about to her friends. But, it was quite the accomplishment for myself," he gloated playfully. "Go on then. I shared my story," John urged with a wave of his hand.
"Jonathan Pinkerton. I was sixteen," she emphasized with an air of superiority.
"Hold on! Pinkerton? That can't possibly be a real name," he jested.
"It was Jonathan Pinkerton and we used to walk home together, everyday from school and he kissed me while we were huddled under my umbrella in the rain," she defended with a smile.
"How romantic," John commented sarcastically with a roll of the eyes. He winked at her afterwards to ensure her it was all in good fun. "Alright, moving away from the topic of old flames. Ideal man?" he asked.
"Isn't it a little late for that?" she replied.
"I don't think so. I have to know how high you set the bar so I can make sure I not only reach it but clear it," John said flirtatiously.
"Am I limited to how many characteristics I can list?"
"Top five," John answered quickly.
"Okay then. Kind, loyal, smart, funny, and a good listener," Anna said as she stifled a yawn and snuggled up into a ball on the couch.
"I'm surprised you didn't say handsome," he joked.
"Well, it's a good thing you already fit the bill in that department," Anna replied as she gained more confidence. The level of comfort was increasing with every answer and the temptation to go into more risqué territory was slowly growing; well, as far as it could go with a four year old present.
"Flattery will get you everywhere," he said cheekily before taking a swig of his drink. "I suppose you'll be asking me the same?" he replied.
"Mmmhhmmm," she said with a slow nod as her eyes began to grow heavy.
"Well, my ideal man…" he joked and waited for her to laugh to make sure she wasn't falling asleep.
"Wait, what?" she chuckled through her words.
"Just checking," he said with a snigger. This time Anna placed a hand under her head for support as she listened intently and leaned on her elbow. "My ideal woman would have to be: supportive, independent, friendly, faithful, and nurturing," he said without hesitation.
"I'm surprised beautiful wasn't on that list," she said mockingly.
"Well, that's because beautiful doesn't begin to describe you," he said with a half smile.
Anna felt her breath hitch in her throat as she was overcome with emotion. She probably should have seen it coming but it was a pleasant surprise. She smiled to herself as she imagined the picture of domesticity this must have created to an outsider. They were all so relaxed with one another, they had slipped seamlessly into a routine that had never been rehearsed and it left her heart feeling fulfilled in a way she couldn't explain. It also made her yearn for more and she wished she didn't have to fight off the urge to fall asleep at that moment.
A moment of silence settled between them, the only sound was coming from the television set as Aidan continued to watch his movie. John finally broke the silence when he offered to get up and go wash the dishes before the food stuck to the plates. Anna looked over at Aidan who seemed to be in his own little world and she breathed a sigh of relief. This was going better than she had planned and Aidan seemed to be taking to John very well. She watched the movie as she waited for John to return. He came back once more to grab her tray but left the small vase and flower on the coffee table for her.
John made sure to clean up anything he had taken out and wiped down the counters the way his mother had taught him. He emptied the trash can to help Anna and placed the leftovers in the refrigerator in case they got hungry later. When he returned to the living room he asked, "So I was thinking, maybe when you are feeling better we could try going somewhere all together. The three of us. What do you think about…Anna?" He turned his head ever so slightly to confirm it and quickly realized she had fallen asleep in his absence. She looked so unbelievably peaceful with a hint of smile traced across her lips.
Aidan turned around to see what had caused John to stop talking and observed Anna. He turned back to look at John and raised his index finger to his lips and said, "Shhhh, Mummy is very sleepy."
"Oh," John played along as if he hadn't a clue that she was tired. Although she looked rather comfortable, he was sure her neck would be screaming out in protest tomorrow if she slept on it like that any longer. John whispered to Aidan, "Can you show me which one is your Mummy's room?"
Aidan nodded his head in agreement and then got up to point down the hallway to the correct door.
John slid his hands under her with ease as he gently picked her up and carried her the short distance down the hallway to place her in her bed. She didn't weigh much and he did everything he could not to laugh when a loud snore escaped from her mouth and she unconsciously clutched his shirt. He used his foot to push the door open and squint his eyes to make out the edges of the furniture so as to avoid throwing on a light. The room wasn't lavish, but it was certainly inviting and comfortable. He placed her on top of the comforter and used the quilt at the end of the bed to drape over her body. John smoothed the blanket over her and let his hand linger over her forehead as he moved a stray strand of hair from her eyes. He was about to make his way back to the living room but there was something more he wanted to do, something he knew he had to do.
He almost felt guilty for wanting to take advantage of the opportunity when she was at her most vulnerable; when she wouldn't be able to accept or deny him. John could almost feel his ears burning red at just the thought of committing such an act, but he knew that if he never got the chance to kiss her at least he would always have this. John checked to see if Aidan had followed him and was waiting by the doorway. The coast was clear. He rubbed her forehead tenderly with the pad of his thumb before placing a chaste kiss there. When he pulled away her natural scent of soap and tea filled his senses and left him feeling enthralled. He felt like his heart was falling and climbing all at the same time and fought the urge to kiss her more passionately. But he remembered that they had agreed to take things slow. This would have to sate him for now.
He exited the bedroom just as quietly as he had entered it and left the door cracked so that he could keep an ear open for her. John took a seat on the couch before patting the cushion next to him for Aidan to take up residence. "So…what time does your Mummy normally make you go to bed?"
"I don't know," Aidan replied. "I go to bed when Mummy does," Aidan added as he burrowed against John's side but continued to play with his toys along the cushion of the couch.
John glanced at his watch. It was only 8 o'clock. He supposed there was no harm in letting the lad finish up his movie. Once he fell asleep John could put him in his bed and then head on home for the evening. How late could he possibly stay up?
"Mr. Bates?" Aidan asked in a sweet voice.
"Hmmm," John replied as he tried to get into the movie.
"You have hairy arms," Aidan pointed out as he leaned over and ran his hand up his right arm..
"Thanks," John replied bemusedly as he took another drink from his glass.
"Will I have hair on my arms when I grow up?" Aidan asked.
"Most likely," John replied, hoping it was the answer that Aidan wanted to hear. "You'll get some on your chest, face, and under your arms too," he looked down at the boy to gage his response and saw the uneasy look that had fixed itself on Aidan's face. "It means you're a man…like me," John added.
That last sentence seemed to seal the deal for Aidan. "Cool!" Aidan remarked.
"Cool, indeed!" John said with a hearty laugh. As John went to take another pull from his glass he couldn't help but notice that Aidan had grabbed his cup and was holding it the same way he was as he drank from it. Maybe he wouldn't be as horrible at this as he initially thought he would.
Elsie slowly turned the page of her book and tried to make sense of the words but they all seemed to be blending together. She finally slammed the book shut and released a huff in defeat. She wished it didn't have to be this way. It shouldn't have been this way. Not only for herself and Charles, but for Anna and Aidan too. She knew the little boy would never be the wiser until his mother chose the time to reveal such a secret, but it didn't make her feel any less horrible that he would grow up never knowing his father. Sure Anna was doing a fine job and he had Charles as a male role model. "It could have been worse," she reminded herself. If Anna hadn't had the courage to leave that pathetic excuse of a man, Aidan would have grown up in the midst of all that. And rather than love him with her whole heart, Anna might have seen him as a burden. She wished she could explain all that to Charles; she knew he would have seen sense in the matter. Elsie also knew the cost of revealing such a thing to him. She would have lost Anna's trust. God only knows what would have become of her vengeful father when he found out the scars she had to bear from her time with Henry.
Almost on cue, Charles snored so loudly it made her nearly jump out of her chair. She looked down and noticed Jasper had stirred in his sleep but was still keeping vigil by his master's bed side. Elsie tried to avoid stepping on the pooch as she leaned forward to feel Charles's forehead. His temperature had dropped significantly from earlier; he was still warm, but his cheeks appeared to have lost their pinkish hue while he slept. When she went to pull away this time Charles caught her hand in his own and startled her. "Elsie?" he asked in a hoarse voice. Charles's eyes were still filled with sleep and he looked disoriented as he felt around his waist to make sure he was decent.
"You don't have to worry about that. Nothing I haven't seen already," she commented with a wry smile.
"Did you…um…" he cleared his throat as he let the words trail off.
"Dress you?" she asked. And he shook his head in response. "No. You did that yourself before you fell asleep," she stated.
He looked over at his nightstand and saw a photo of Anna and Aidan and was reminded of the conversation earlier that night. "And Anna? How is she?"
"I imagine she is doing well," Elsie answered as she eased herself back into the chair. "She never called for me to come by and follow up with her."
"Well, for all you know she never even made it home," he said grumpily.
"She made it home just fine. Anna text me about an hour after that to let me know Mr. Bates stopped by with dinner for her and Aidan. Apparently he was very adamant about keeping to their date arrangement," Elsie reported.
"Hmmm…I'm not sure I feel to keen about this Mr. Bates," Carson admitted aloud.
"Oh, he's a good egg. Leave him be," Elsie chided him as she went to hand him a glass of water.
"How do you know he's a good egg?" Carson interrogated her, though this time there was a somewhat playful tone to it.
"Well for starters he cares enough about your grandson to stick around. He was willing to take her soup across town when she had the flu. He even asked what kind of food Aidan liked," she began to list.
"You drove across town with soup for me," he pointed out.
"Then I guess that means I fancy you," she said with a smile and his lips turned into a hard line as he tried to keep a straight face. When he failed to make an argument she went back to the topic at hand. "I haven't seen Anna this happy about a man in years. And if you need anymore reasons than that you are just going to have to trust me," she answered sounding exhausted.
"The last time I trusted you, Anna didn't come home for two weeks and we found out about Aidan two months later," he reminded her in a harsh tone.
"And I have apologized for that. How many times do I have to repeat it?" she asked with tears in her eyes. His silence was answer enough. He was clearly never going to let this go. He crossed his arms, one over the other, in silent protest as he stared in the opposite direction. She composed herself again and added in a sure and strong voice, "As I told you before and I'll keep telling you, it wasn't my secret to tell."
They sat there ensconced in darkness and silence. The only sound in the room was the occasional whimpers from Jasper as he attempted to chase after something in his sleep; his leg twitching slightly across the rug and his nose working over time while his eyes remained closed. Elsie contemplated leaving then. Had it been any other man she wouldn't have put up with it, wouldn't have given him as many chances as she had to make things right. But, she could never turn her back on Charles. Not with all the shared history and memories. Somewhere in the back of her mind she had hoped that with time, this secret would become nothing more than a small blemish on their otherwise happy past, but instead it had only threatened to push them further and further apart with every passing day. Elsie was about to rise from the chair to go boil a fresh kettle of tea when Charles voice stopped her. "Is she?" was all he could ask.
Elsie was confused by the question and quite frankly, she hadn't expected him to talk with her. "Is she what?" she asked.
"Is she finally happy? I mean really happy," he asked softly. His hopeful eyes seemed to be looking for the answer on the horizon outside of his bedroom window. "I can't seem to remember the last time she gave me a genuine smile and I often wonder if I'll see some hint of that same little girl I helped raise."
Even though he refused to look her directly in the eye she could tell now that his eyes were threatening to spill over with tears. "I think she's found someone who can make her happy in a way that you and I never could," she answered resolutely. "And I do believe that she will smile like that again."
"Well, that's something to be thankful for I suppose," he said solemnly. After another couple minutes of quiet he rolled over in bed with his back facing toward her.
Anna hadn't slept that well in years. Her eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness as she tried to remember how she ended up in her room. She couldn't even recall tucking Aidan into bed. Her eyes shifted over to look at the clock and saw that it was going on midnight. A low light peered in through the crack of the door and she thought she heard the faint sound of the television droning on. She almost went back to sleep until it dawned on her that Aidan usually came running into her bedroom when he couldn't sleep. She wasn't even sure if she had set the alarm and felt her heart tighten in her chest as she began to panic.
She practically tumbled out of bed, completely forgetting how sick she had felt earlier only to realize that her bearings were a little off as she made her way to the door. Anna walked over to Aidan's door and pushed it open and saw that his bed was still empty and made from the morning before. "Oh dear, God! Please let him be on the couch," she thought to herself. A thousand different horrific scenarios were running through her head as she tried to calm herself and think clearly. When she made her way around the corner in the hallway she was frozen in place as she took in the sight before her. The soft glow of the television still illuminated the room as the DVD menu continued on a loop. There was a pair of gentle snores calling out in unison, one slightly louder than the other. Aidan had fallen asleep against John's side with Mr. Bear in his hand and a small blanket tucked around his legs. John's head hung back perilously over the head rest of the couch and had his arm wrapped protectively around Aidan.
Anna considered leaving them there like that. They both looked so comfortable sidled up next to one another. A thought crossed her mind and she pondered if this is what it would be like in the future? Would there be more adorable moments like this between the three of them? As happy as she was that the night had managed to go swimmingly, she knew she had to set an example and that she couldn't run the risk of thoroughly confusing Aidan in the morning. Not to mention, John would have a horrible crick in his neck if she didn't act now. Before she woke him, she stared at him a little longer and recalled how he had been her knight in shining armor that night: bringing her food and flowers, helping out with Aidan, washing the dishes, carrying her to bed. She thought her heart might burst if it weren't encased within her chest. She didn't know what she had ever done in her life to deserve such a man, but she was certain it had been worth it.
Anna reluctantly took a step forward and lightly shook his shoulder and whispered, "John." He motioned in his sleep like he was trying to say something, but refused to wake. "John, wake up," she said quietly, being mindful of Aidan still sleeping nearby. Thankfully he slept like a rock once he was out.
John's eyes fluttered open slowly and he looked befuddled when he woke to find himself in Anna's living room. "Wha—where am I?" he muttered before wiping the corner of his mouth where a tiny bit of spit had been pooling. He fixed his eyes upon her and felt a calmness wash over him. Even in her nightgown she was a vision. Her hair must have come loose from the braid that had held it in place before. Her hair looked crimped and wavy as it hung loose over her shoulders. Even in the limited light he could tell her cheeks weren't nearly as pink as before, he was thankful for that. He'd hate to think of her trying to juggle a four year old while still battling her sickness looking as tired and run down as she had earlier. "Anna?" he asked in a gravelly voice.
"Shhh," she whispered in a low voice and pointed down to Aidan.
John followed to where her finger was pointing and smiled down at Aidan. How was it that in just a few short days this child had not only worked his way into his heart, but had carved out a considerable space there that he knew could never be filled by another. Then he looked back up to meet her gaze and her dark blue irises emitted all the love and devotion he had ever been denied. He mouthed the word, "Sorry."
Anna gestured to pick up Aidan, but John put his hand up to stop her and moved effortlessly off the couch without waking up Aidan. He took a moment to stretch his arms and back. When he did, his dress shirt hitched up a little and she caught sight of his belly button and the hair that was spread upon his stomach. It sent a sensation up her spine and set her nerves on edge as she bit upon her lip, trying to hide her delight at the images that were being conjured up in her head. She was able to really take in his frame now, reminded again of just how big of a man he really was with his long arms and legs. He rubbed at his eyes as he attempted to wake himself up a little more, knowing that once his work here was done he would still have to drive back home. John ran a hand through his hair and let it rest at the back of his neck as he rolled it back and forth, trying to loosen up the muscle that had already begun to take shape with Anna's sofa. As he leaned forward to pick up Aidan, a loose lock of hair fell forward and she felt those butterflies forming in her stomach once again. She turned a shade of crimson when he caught her watching him and he smiled so broadly that the little crinkles in the corner of his eyes became more pronounced.
John placed Aidan against his chest and cradled his head against his shoulder. The little boy shifted in his arms when he began to wake up, but was quickly soothed back to sleep when John began to gently pat his back. He followed behind Anna as she guided him to Aidan's room and waited while she pulled back the covers on his bed. As Anna turned on the nightlight and checked that the lock was secured on his window she noticed that John took the time to put Mr. Bear in Aidan's arms. John drew the covers around Aidan before combing his hair out of his face like she did. He rose to his feet and stared at Anna, not quite sure what to say next, "If there isn't anything else…I can see myself out."
"Nonsense, I can see you to the door. I have to set the alarm anyway," she replied.
They walked what seemed like the longest stroll he had ever taken in his life down the hallway and back to the front door. Both of them felt the need to say something, but neither having the courage to speak. Several times their hands brushed up against one another as they tried to fit in the corridor simultaneously; only to both pull away bashfully, while secretly savoring the unintentional contact. John gathered his things and faltered when his hand reached the door knob.
"What's the matter? Did you forget something?" Anna asked as she began to scan the room.
"No. I didn't forget, actually it's been on my mind most of the night. That is to say…I wasn't doing what I did expecting something in return. I just didn't know if it was something you would want so soon," John replied as he shifted his jacket to his other hand.
It reminded Anna of that first time she had seen him in the restaurant looking flustered as he strained to find the right words or when he had originally asked her out and she had rebuffed him. In that moment, she was certain he had never looked more attractive or endearing in her eyes. Even half asleep with his tussled hair no longer held in place by pomade, and his five o'clock shadow peeking through he was better looking than any man she had ever laid eyes on.
"Anna, could I kiss you?" he blurted out. As soon as the words fell from his mouth he immediately clamped his lips shut, afraid of what other words might follow.
Her eyes widened in amazement and she pulled her robe tightly around her waist. "I don't think that's such a good idea," Anna replied as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
"Oh," John said and his head hung down a little. He tried not to look too pathetic or disappointed as he began to walk out the door.
Anna gripped his upper arm and reveled at the way it felt beneath her fingertips; even through his dress shirt she could trace the outlines of his arm. She felt her heart speed up and her mouth went dry as she tried to recall what she had planned to say to him. But the look in his eyes as her hand still rested upon him made her think he didn't mind waiting for her to speak. He was clearly enjoying her touch just as much she was enjoying the feel of his skin. "I just meant that I'm sick. We probably shouldn't do anything more than we already have," she reminded him. She noticed his features soften and there was the hint of a smile playing on his lips.
"Anna, I've been at your house twice now while someone was milling about with the flu. If I haven't caught it yet I think I'll survive," he argued playfully.
"You have a point there," she said nervously.
"Do you trust me?"
"I…I think so," she said even though her heart told her already that she could trust him implicitly her past was making it hard to say how she truly felt.
He took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb across the top of her knuckles and whispered, "Close your eyes."
She paused for a moment and swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat before closing her eyes. John's hand felt like a weight in her hand the both held her up while keeping her anchored. She could almost hear the blood rushing to her ears in eager anticipation until she felt a warm set of lips gently press against her cheek and his stubble graze against her skin. He didn't linger there for long, but it was enough to make her want to turn her head so her lips could seek his out. She may as well have been branded with a hot iron, he had claimed her heart and soul, and she didn't want to be kissed by anyone else. Her eyes finally flickered open and she was met by John's handsome face staring back at her.
"Worth it," he said as he slowly released his grip on her hand. "Good night, Anna."
"Good night, John," she called out softly as she watched him walk back to his car. He waved to her once from his car after buckling his seat belt and she locked the door as he began to pull out of the drive way. She leaned against the door and placed the palm of her hand to her cheek, still feeling the searing heat from the imprint she was sure his lips had left in their wake. She had forgotten what it felt like to be in love, and for the first time she was discovering what it meant to truly be loved in return.