Ivy felt like she should feel like she's been living in a dream for the past week. Ever since that date things have been going amazing. Granted it had only been a week but still. Work was going well, things with Nate was going even better and the family was perfect. She hadn't had any runnings with Brandon since he scoffed and walked off on her and Nate's date.
But her mind was still on that letter. She couldn't shake it, if anything she was just waiting for something else to happen. Another letter or something but there was nothing, so she just thought that maybe they were just trying to scare her and that they weren't actually here. She couldn't lock herself or her family up on something that might not be actually happening.
So on the Sunday, Ivy thought it would be a good idea for them all to go the beach.
It was 11 in the morning and Jesus was still, amazingly, asleep. Ivy stood over him for a moment before jumping on his back and shaking him, giving him a very shocking wake up.
"What the hell?"
"You used to do this to me" Ivy said as she hopped up and down on his back. Jesus let out a winded breath and nodded "Yeah when I was like six"
Ivy stopped and just sat on his back for a moment. She then let out a laugh and stood up, she turned and looked to him, then tapping his arm and said "We're spending the day on the beach so come on"
"All of us?"
"Well no i'm taking you guys. Moms have got to do some work on the house so I thought it'd be a good thing for us to just all do something together instead of all going off and doing our own thing like usual"
"So does this us include Brandon"
Ivy tilted her head and shrugged "I don't know, I said it when he was in the room but he didn't say anything"
Jesus rolled his eyes and sat up on the bed, he rubbed his eyes. She slapped his arm again before turning around and saying as she walked out of the room "Be ready in ten"
Jesus groaned and lay back on the bed, softly go back to sleep but then woke up again when he had a pillow launched to his stomach from Ivy in the hallway.
She went downstairs to the kitchen where the rest of them were already ready. She looked over the kitchen to Brandon "Are you coming?"
"No I think I'll pass" Brandon mumbled, then giving her a tight smile to try and say that he appreciated the offer. He did get a sharp look off of Stef though. But he actually did have a good reason. He had to practise on the piano for an audition, which was actually understandable. Else he would have gone, a day on the beach wouldn't have been the worst time to spend his day.
Jesus came down after ten minutes, but they had to wait a good two minutes for him to have a piece of toast. Because god forbid he didn't eat. Then everyone was set.
"We'll back by dinner!" Ivy called as she led the kids out the door and to her car.
On their way to the beach. Ivy almost ran someone over. That someone being Nate. He of course stopped in front of it on purpose. Ivy let out what could be described best as a shriek, she looked at him with her jaw dropped "You scared the hell out of me!"
Nate laughed at her as she then went on to say "Dick"
He laughed even more and then banged on the hood of the car, leaning down on it he nodded "Word on the street is, you guys are going to the beach"
"And by street you mean me" Ivy laughed. She had text him literally ten minutes. Was he really trying to make it look like a coincidence? Nate smiled to her "I'll meet you there?"
Ivy shrugged "It isn't up to me"
Nate shifted his eyes to the kids. Giving them a cheesy grin to try and persuade them, of course they all agreed for him to join them. They loved Nate. And Nate and Ivy together is like one of those low budget but great comedy shows, he made her so happy which just made her even funnier.
They all found a good spot. It was a really good day. Not too crowded either, Ivy hated when the beach was so crowded that you'd have to step over people sunbathing to get past. They all lined their towels up in a row. Before getting into the ocean, they all shared little secrets about each other.
Mariana shot one at Ivy "Who was your first kiss?"
Nate looked to her and muttered with a smirk "Better be me"
Ivy wriggled her eyebrows "I had a lot of suitors back in the day" she tugged the corner of her mouth to him and then looked back to the kids "It was him. We were ten I believe" Ivy said as she looked down to her foot that was buried in the sand beside his.
"Ten we were. Ivy was complaining about how she thought she was never going to get a first kiss because she was a tomboy, and she said guys don't like tomboys. So I kissed her to prove that she was wrong"
Callie and Mariana made an 'aww' noise at the same time. Ivy then shook her head "Don't aw him, after he did it he pushed me away and said 'don't make a thing out of it' and threw dirt at me"
Nate smirked and looked to the boys "I had to play hard to get"
Ivy rolled her eyes and then lay back on the towel. Mariana shrugged and let out a small hum before saying "I'm going to go for a swim. You guys coming"
Jesus, Jude and Callie all said yes. But Ivy said not right now, which was odd because she loved the ocean usually. Stef used to have to carry her out of it when she was surfing, and she was insanely good at it, a scout once said that she could go pro if she wanted too. And she would have too.
But things have changed which caused her feelings towards certain things change, like water.
Nate said that he'd hang back with Ivy and then get in later. When they were at a far enough distance, his head snapped to her "Since when do you not jump in the sea the first chance you get"
"Since I almost died" Ivy lightly laughed, she saw how his face dropped. Ivy took a deep breath and said nothing, she just looked forward. He kept staring at her, his eyebrows pinched together "What are you talking about?"
"Just-"
"Don't tell me to drop it, I can't drop that what the hell are you talking about?" Nate sat up, she remained silent for a moment more and he grew slightly impatient "Ives"
Ivy cleared her throat and groaned, she shook her head. Wishing that she hadn't of said anything at all.
"I don't know what's happened to you back in San Francisco"
"There's a lot of things you don't know about San Francisco" Ivy sharply answered back, taking her eyes to him. She quickly got to the point "One day this guy, Eddie tried feeling me up so I smashed up his car. I told my moms that he was arrested for sexual assault but he wasn't he was arrested for attempted murder. On me. One day I was home alone and he came barging in the apartment. He knocked the door down and dragged me by the hair, saying he was going to kill me for what I did. Because nobody does that sort of shit to him. He saw that I had run a bath and he held me under it so much that I couldn't breathe. As you can see he failed, but that was only because my step father Dylan came running and found saw what he was doing, he beat him black and blue after giving me CPR"
Ivy took a breath and looked down to the sand "I was okay but…"
Nate sighed and then said "You feel like you're going to get dragged under again"
Ivy looked out to the ocean and said "I feel like he's just going to jump up from the water and finish what he started"
Nate put his hand on her back and rested his chin on her shoulder "Baby that'll never happen"
"I know but it's a fear. I still get scared about it even when I know it'll never happen" Ivy looked to him again and said "But he tried to kill me. I've never been the same since"
Ivy and Nate then felt a shadow over their bodies, Ivy looked up and saw Stef and Lena stood in front of them, dressed as if they were ready for a day on the beach. Lena had a picnic basket in her hand. It seems they wanted to make a day of it too. But now the sheer horror and shock on their faces clearly changed things.
Stef raised her eyebrows and said weakly "I'm sorry what?"
Ivy sighed as she looked to them, she then looked to Nate who cleared his throat and slowly stood up "I'm just gonna...go for a swim"
As he stood up and walked away, Stef and Lena slowly sat down in front of her. Ivy remained silent. After Stef pushed her, Ivy explained once again what had happened. And Stef and Lena felt their heart break.
Stef gulped heavily and said in a wobbly voice "Why didn't you tell us?"
"Because I didn't want you to worry or look at me like you're looking at me right now" Ivy shrugged "What happened in San Francisco happened, I don't want to swell-"
"Dwell? Ivy if it wasn't for your step dad you would be dead by now"
"Stef" Lena said softly, understanding how upset and angry she was about all of this, but saying things like that wasn't going to help this situation.
Stef sighed and looked to Ivy "I'm sorry baby it's just...knowing that we were so close to losing you for good. And if we did we wouldn't even know. We wouldn't have been told I…"
A tear fell down her cheek that Ivy quickly wiped away. She then whispered "Stop crying you'll stain your cheeks"
Stef let out a small smile. It was something that Stef would say to Ivy should she ever get upset and start to cry. Lena rubbed Ivy's arm and said softly "We're just worried about what else has happened"
"Don't be. In case you guys haven't noticed, I'm not dead"
"Ivy stop making jokes" Stef said softly "You've got this wall up that you're yet to take down"
Ivy rested her head in hand hand and let out a shaky breath "I've been scared for too long for it to come down. I've changed and I'm sorry for it"
Lena looked to Stef and then shook her head to Ivy as she took hold of her hand "Oh honey, we all change over time. But it doesn't mean that you shouldn't trust us"
"I trust you guys more than anyone, it's just in here" Ivy cried as she hit her head before grabbing her hair and letting out another shaky breath as she tried to keep her composure. Stef looked to Lena, who then got the feeling that this was a thing between Stef and Ivy.
Lena knew that Stef and Ivy had this bond that was bigger than anything else, and she was okay and happy with that. She didn't want it any other way, everyone needs that certain someone to depend on. Stef is hers too. She got up and went over to the sea.
As soon as she did, Stef leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Ivy's body and allowed Ivy to cry against her shoulder. Stef put her hand on the back of her hand "Baby…"
"I'm sorry" she cried in a whisper.
"Don't you dare be sorry for crying" Stef shook her head, lifting her head up and looking at her. Ivy took a deep breath to try and calm herself, she didn't want to shut down into one of her panic attacks, that she was prone to have. More when she was on her own, because for the past five years that's all she has ever been. Alone. Ivy pulled away from Stef and leaned down on her knees as she covered her eyes with the palm of her hands, feeling Stef rub her back.
Ivy took a deep breath as she then lifted her head and crossed her arms on her knees, looking out to Lena, Nate and the kids messing around in the sea. Stef just kept her eyes on Ivy and waited for her to speak, Ivy gulped heavily before lightly clearing her throat and saying in a still dry voice "I'm still scared"
"By what?" Stef said in a soft voice.
"By everything" Ivy shrugged "Walking down the street by myself, getting into the sea. I can't even take baths" she laughed at herself "Pathetic"
"It's not pathetic" Stef sighed, shaking her head and rubbing Ivy's back "If there's one thing you'll never be it's pathetic"
Ivy ran the palm of her hand down her mouth and shook her head as a tear ran down her cheek "I just want my life back"
"You can have it back now. Ivy, sweetie, nothing bad is going to happen to you anymore. Promise"
"Yeah? Well promises are made to be broken the majority of the time"
Stef sighed and rested her head on Ivy's shoulder, then whispering "How did your mindset get to that stage?"
Ivy shrugged and shook her head, whispering with a cry "I have no idea"
It then fell silent between the two, they just stayed close and watched their family play about in the sea.
They got home at four. Getting dinner on straight away, Nate was staying to have dinner with them after Stef and Lena insisted. Stef watched as Ivy and Nate sat together on the porch swing, her leaning her body against his as he said whatever it was that he was saying to her, the rest of the kids were off doing their own thing.
Stef sighed and turned to Lena "How could she not tell us? Something as big as an attempted murder against her"
"Honey I don't know what to tell you. She was thinking of us, Of the family"
Stef walked over to the kitchen table and grabbed her coffee "Can't imagine what she was going through, keeping a secret like that. Eating away to her everyday" she closed her eyes and shook her head "I know I should understand and I partly do. I just...I'm just-"
"Her mother"
Stef looked up to Lena "What?"
Lena shrugged "You are hurt because you see yourself as more than her aunt but as her mother" she reached her hand out and laid it on top of her wife's "And you are"
Stef softly and weakly smiled to Lena, taking in a deep breath she then said "I can't help but think that if she kept this from us...then…"
"What else is she keeping from us?"
Stef nodded. Lena rubbed Stef's hand and pulled it away as she stood up straight "I know I'm worried about that too. But y'know. Give it time, love, we can't let our minds go mad with wonder. Maybe there isn't anything else and if it is...I'm sure that it will come out in time"
Stef rubbed her lips together and cleared her throat as she looked away from Lena "Yeah"
She was hoping there wasn't anymore for them to find out. But maybe that was her inner naivety.
Outside on the porch swing, Nate kissed the top of her head and spoke to her in a quiet, soft voice "You know you're safe right? Now"
Ivy kept her head under his chin, staring at a spot of the porch. She didn't know if she was fully safe, not for sure anyway. But she didn't want to say anything in case of it being nothing, that the only thing in that letter was just a stupid threat. A lie. She didn't want to worry anyone, and then have to uncover the worst part of her life. An attempted murder might sound worse, but through her own experience of what she went through, it was worse.
Ivy took in a breath and acted as if he was right "Yeah. Of course"
In her defense, she did feel safer. Safer than she had felt since she was sixteen. But still, deep down she worried. And still, she pretended to be fine with a convincing smile and a persuading laugh. Right now that's all she could do. Ivy looked up to him and smiled, then whispering "You've got me right"
"Course I do" Nate smiled, lightly kissing her lips. He rubbed her arm before wrapping his arms around her body, pulling her body even closer "I remember Lena's food. Is it as good as I remember?"
"If anything it's gotten better"
"Ah good" Nate cracked his back and sat back on the seat "Likes it when a woman can cook me a good meal. Learn"
Ivy slapped his stomach, hearing him laugh. Ivy shook her head "Your jokes are still as crap as I remember I see" she found herself looking around a little, just scoping and checking that he wasn't really here. Her eyes scanned every nook and cranny and she saw nothing. She the felt Nate rub her arm "Hey. What're you staring at?"
"Hm? Oh nothing my mind just went for a wander" she slapped his leg as she stood up and cleared her throat, she then waved her hand before holding it out to him "Come on. Let's get in there for the grub"
"With pleasure" Nate grinned with hunger, slapping his hand in hers. She pulled him up onto his feet and then guided him back into the house with her hand still in his.
After dinner, Nate and Ivy hung in her room for a bit.
With Ivy having her record playing in the background whilst they lay on her bed and talked. Ivy lay on her back with her head resting on his lap as Nate had his back up against the headboard. Both sharing a bag of red vines whilst talking about a random load of crap. Nate stroked her hair as he listened to her ramble on about a current favourite film of hers. He loved hearing her ramble, when she was passionate about something she just couldn't stop and he just loved listening to her.
"-And she had to leave him to go back to her shitty life and her shitty husband and I swear sometimes life just isn't fair and am I talking too much?"
"No I'd say just the right amount" Nate smiled to her. Ivy sighed a smile as she looked up to the ceiling and muttered "Now you're just being nice"
Nate smiled as he rubbed her thigh, then patting her and saying as he looked to his watch "Ah, it's getting pretty late. Maybe I should go" he gave her a small smile before leaning down to her and kissing her. Ivy put her hands on the back of his head as their kiss deepened and soon became more heated.
He put his hand on her cheek and muttered "Do you want me to go?"
Ivy pulled away and looked into his eyes "Does it look like I want you to go?"
Nate smiled to her and watched her as she sat up and faced him, she looked at him and almost with hesitation, she put her hands on his cheeks and pulled his lis back to her. This was a big deal for her, more than can be ever imagined. He felt her grip onto him really hard and couldn't tell if something was up "Ivy are you-"
"I'm fine" she whispered as she kissed him again. Nate's arms wrapped tightly around her waist and lowered her down on her back. Ivy took a subtle deep breath between their kiss. She had to remember who it was that she was being with. This was Nate. Nate was safe. And she was safe with him. Ivy pressed her forehead against his and whispered, with a more cry "I love you"
Nate lightly kissed her cheek and rubbed his nose against her "I love you too, Ives"
Ivy let out a tearful smile and kissed him again.